I had a dream last night that I had invited a lot of people including a lot of executive leadership for some sort of training meeting, but due to one of those nightmarish video-call-won’t-work-for-some-reason anxiety-dream things, was late logging in. (In the dream, logging in created a portal that transported you to a reserved physical meeting space.) However, when I physically entered the meeting, it was into a bizarre situation where a director was already chairing, thanking everyone for attending, thanking someone else for setting it all up, and handing over to an external trainer.
Disoriented, I realised that someone else had stolen my meeting, taking advantage of the fact that I’d gotten so many directors etc. into the same room, and had spent time and resources arranging a desirable room and portal-setup. Bewildered, pained, and in anxiety-dream logic unsure of what MY own meeting had actually been for, I sat down to take the training. There had been pre-reading (I hadn’t done it) and we were supposed to bring in a piece of work (I hadn’t.)
“This,” I said, “is like one of those dreams!” And in realising that I had simply aged out of the forgot-about-an-exam dream, and my shock at realising that I had simply created the professional equivalent, I stood up to leave. This caused everyone else to realise that it was a dream. They became cross with me for saying this, as this realisation destroyed the linkages to the hybrid-working portals! Now they would have to get back to their homes physically, by public transport!
Because I had booked the meeting - IT WAS MY MEETING!! THE MEETING RECOGNISED ME AS CHAIR!! - I simply picked up my laptop and left 😌
So if you’re still having school-anxiety dreams, take heart! They may… evolve ?
I used to get school anxiety dreams, specifically about having to retake my French A-level. I have forgotten most of my French, so this was always thoroughly anxiety-inducing.
Then one time my subconscious decided to mix it up a bit. This time, it was my English A-level that I unaccountably had to retake as an adult. The dream followed its usual course - sorry, your A-level is invalid, you have to resit it, right now, no time to revise, ARGH...
Hang on, dream-me thought, I have a degree in English. First class honours. Writing is a significant part of my career. I might not enjoy the experience, and I wouldn't do as well as I did the first time around, but I'm sure I could scrape a pass at A-level English if I had to. This is not anxiety-inducing. This is fine.
Oh, said my subconscious, and I never had a school anxiety dream again.
I still get school anxiety dreams, although weirdly they now all follow the same basic story:
Namely, that I am for some reason back at school doing A-Levels (I'm still my own age, and I've still done my A-Levels as I did in life, but for some reason I'm doing them again and while some of the subjects are different, some of them are the same) but it's near the end of the year and for whatever reason I've barely attended any classes, with the anxiety coming less from an 'oh god I'm going to fail' (because even in the dream, it doesn't matter if I fail, like I already have A-Levels after all) but just a nebulous sense that I've done something wrong. Also usually a sense that I shouldn't be there and that being there taking classes is some kind of transgression, which tbf, it kind of would be.
Sometimes this is added to with 'I haven't got a timetable so I don't know which classes I have or where' or 'I have a timetable, but it is for some reason utterly inscrutable.'




















