I really wanted to add more to this but I didn't have any solid foundation ā legit just started drawing and boom, bloodymary! Still, I'm hoping to write a one-shot based on this soon :3
A monster!Simon snippet (maybe to be continuedā¦?)
TW: this snippet contains graphic descriptions of body horror and the mutations occurring to Simon, as well as thoughts of wanting to die / not wanting to live and mentions of gagging / coughing up blood.
Darkness. Pain.
It was immeasurable. Overwhelming. All consuming. His breathing feltā¦ sticky. Blood congealing in his throat uncomfortably. His eyes glued shut. He turned over and abruptly started coughing, hacking up thick, viscous blood until his lungs felt clear enough to breathe again. He tries to pry his eyes open. They fight against him, but eventually he succeeds. Blood flakes off his eyelashes, little pieces clinging to them uncomfortable as he blinks. Trying to take in where he was.
Simon looked to the sky and saw darkness, vision still clouded with red. Groaning he tried to move, tried to get any indication of what else had happened to him. His right arm weakly twitched. His legs managed some semblance of movement. His left armā¦ he felt nothing. Glancing to the side he tried not to gag. The limb was missing. Torn off violently, sinew dangling and mixed with a blood like goop that had congealed around the stub. He quickly averted his gaze, trying to control his breathing, the sound rattling in his chest.
Glancing to the other side felt more manageable, not having to witness whatever horrid state his missing limb was in. Despite that, it still was far from pleasant. His arm looked like it had almost burntā¦ except the burns had hardened? It looked almost scaly in nature. He tried not to think too hard about it for now. That seems to be the wisest decision overall.
Donāt think. Just categorize. Take it in, donāt process.
Simon tried to place where he was next. Realistically, he was certain he had died. Perhaps he was dead and this was his personal hell. The thought didnāt feel too far off. Darkness above him, a night sky with dying pinpricks of light. To the side, a sprawling thick red ocean of blood. Somehow he had ended up on a small little patch ofā¦ land? Flesh? Rocks? Something. Somehow he was still alive.
Yet really, this felt like a simple extension to his impending death sentence. Simon knew that there was no way off this little bubble of supposed safety. He was half dead already. His only surroundings were the ocean where a monster lurked below, ready to consume him and drag him under to become a part of it. Even if he had anyway of contacting the COI, they wouldnāt care for his broken body any longer. He had nothing to offer them in return.
He gave a wheezing breath. It felt oddly hard to breathe up here. Maybe there was something in the air that was killing him slowly alongside everything else. A little part of Simon that cared felt petulant that there was just another thing added to the list of growing problems. The rest of him felt like no punishment could ever be enough.
He didnāt deserve to live. He had tried, oh, he had tried. To the very end he had fought. But where had that gotten him? To freedom? To another chance? No, it had only gotten him half dead and dying in the middle of a hellscape.
Another wheezing breath escapes him. Like something was constricting his ribcage tight and squeezing on his throat. Simon winced, his decent hand coming up to touch it. He freezes as he feels it. Slits. Fluttering along his neck like they were trying to breathe. His good hand fumble down weakly feels along the side of his ribs. The same sensation there. A strike of horror runs through him.
Was it not enough for him to be forced to die slowly? Was it not enough for him to fight to the end and fail? Now the world had to take his humanity from him too?
He was just becoming another monster.
Simon stares. Monsters deserved to die. They didnāt deserve to live. He takes another wheezing breath.
He had never been very good at doing what he was told.
Simon rolls over as much as heās able, fumbling along until he falls off the ledge heās found himself in. The ocean swallows him whole. And Simon breathes deep as his vision fades to black.
wait until it gets dark and make tea or coffee or hot chocolate, or if itās too hot outside make yourself a healthy smoothie with your favorite things in it at any point during the day
put on your favorite underwear, it helps, trust me, itās an old family secret (iām not kidding)
if you have a pet, play the āhow many things can i stick on you until you move or get madā game (bonus points if they fall asleep, extra bonus points if a family member sees you and tells you to quit it, extra double ultra points if they join in)
rip a peice of paper into as many little pieces as you can
go to animeseason.com and click ārandom animeā until you see one that looks completely ridiculous (or actually good) and watch the first episode. repeat if it sucked or if you get bored halfway through
spend at least an hour making a music playlist for how you feel right now and save it for now or when you feel a bad mood rise again
curl up in bed and cover yourself with blankets and pillows and put in music and just lay there for a while (sleeping is also good)
eat everything
drink lots of water
itās okay bad moods donāt last forever!!!!!! i promise!!! you will be yourself soon and there are people who love you very much, donāt be afraid to reach out to them
i bet there is still a box of crayons in your house somewhere (if not you can get them cheap during back-to-school sales); find them and use them (maybe while watching ridiculous anime)
sunshine if you can manage it or just a sun lamp trust me it matters more than you think especially in winter
hugs even if they are stuffed animals or your pet or your pillow whatever is on hand
if youāve got a favorite lotion/soap/thing that is scented use it liberally
cry if you need, if it doesnāt start by itself or if you donāt want to attract attention put on a sad movie so you have an excuse
write this down to pull out on future bad days:
it is okay to have a day where you donāt get things done
it is okay not to have a reason for feeling bad
taking care of yourself is a worthwhile use of time
if you still donāt feel better it is not your fault (and it is okay to ask for help)
discoholicmusic
germansingergirl
snowghoul
janainaart
dededos
