and what is a girl if not a 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈,
learning what the WORLD will take from her a dependent ORIGINAL CHARACTER as loved by rachel for equinoxhqs !
Caly had been confused and doubtful about Sidney putting contacts in. She herself had used them before and tried her hardest to talk her sister through it but it still seemed to be a challenge. “It’s clearly a trend and those are usually unexplainable when they are something so ridiculous looking,” Calytrix offered in answer as she moved to grab a washrag and ran some cold water over it. “Sid you should take them out. They are definitely not meant to be hurting you. If you really wanted this look you could have gotten something that was a bit higher quality,” she explained as she moved to Sidney’s side and coaxed her into turning to face her. “Here let’s see if this helps and if it doesn’t work you need to take them out now,” she adds on before gently beginning to press the cool rag to Sidney’s watering eyes.
“i just want to be beautiful.” and cool. and like all the OTHER people who were rocking the newest apparent eyewear trend, no thought to how freaky deeky they looked to people, at a distance. they continued to rub their eyes, trying in vain to quench whatever fire was obviously starting there - failing, of course, because there was obviously a deeper problem than just general irritation. “don’t i look it?”
“ that’s not..“ laurel begins but doesn’t finish her sentence, it just didn’t count when she had ‘red contacts’ of her own and was about to say they weren’t contacts. “ i think everyone just made it a trend so that’s why everyone is wearing them. and yeah, they do burn a little bit. but if they are burning that bad. i don’t think that’s you know.. good.“
“not what?” they’re not really... suspicious of the others words, per se ( they can’t really afford to be, given the PAIN they’re currently in ), but they can’t help but notice the fact that something isn’t said. they’re dealing with eyeballs on fire, not losing brain cells. “i don’t get it. i mean- i can’t really... see myself, right now, but- i don’t think they SUIT me all that much, and if i’m being honest, the red look... probably doesn’t flatter ANYBODY.”
Billie glanced from her phone to her roommate, concern furrowing her brow. “What the hell are you doing?” She sat up further in her chair to better assess the situation. It didn’t take much for her to put two and two together (two and two being the box the contacts came in and Sidney’s exclamation about their eyes being on fire). “Where did you get those from, CVS? God, Sid…your poor eyes. Take those things out.” Most days, Billie greatly admired Sidney. But some days, today being one of those days, she worried for them.
“i just wanted to see what it was like-” and be one of the cool kids in the process, though that was something they’d NEVER admit to aloud. it seemed to be all the rage right now, and sidney, being honest - was really NOT seeing the appeal. “they were on sale. at the dollar store.” the last four words a very shamed admittance. the kind they usually wouldn’t say ( either ), but their eyes were really hurting and they weren’t on their a-game, right now. “wait, wait-” they’re about to desperately dig them out, but they remember the reason for all of the trouble: “do they at least suit me?”
their red tinged eyes were BURNING ; fully burning, the ‘mild sting’ they’d been told to be prepared for a full on FIRE that was causing tiny little tears to weep from the corners of their eyes. sidney had never actually had to put contacts in, before. in spite of the MANY hours spent hunched over a laptop screen, or peering at a tv that was just a little bit too close - their vision had remained fairly stellar. they’d seen the set in a dollar store ( excellent place to purchase something that they had then stuck ONTO their eyeballs ), and they’d been seized by fatal american curiosity. the regret was high and EVIDENT. “i don’t get why so many people are wearing these - my eyes are on fire!” they grimaced, rubbing one with a little too much force, “are they meant to be hurting me?”
It wasn’t the first time that Liam had gone into town without his contacts, in fact he forgot them often. However, he was mostly aware of when he forgets, so he was able to avoid contact with humans. Tonight he was not so lucky, he ran into someone almost instantaneously.
“oh-” it was almost definitely SIDNEY’S fault. they had an awful habit of getting a little too caught up in what they were doing, and that often led to such incidents as THIS ; walking right into an innocent bystander, almost clearing them both out of it. their phone clattered to the ground ( oof ), they would have focused more on grabbing that, had it NOT been for...- the eyes. they blinked up at him, slowly, features unreadable, mouth opening slowly before- “what’s with everybody and red contacts, lately? is there a tiktok trend i’m not in on?”
“ you can go ahead and sit.“ clare gestures towards the open seat, with that of a somewhat smile. “ i don’t bite, not usually anyways. ”
“a little threatening. nice.” sidney lifted one hand to throw... a finger gun? a thumbs up? some sort of... strange mix of both?- clare’s way as she dropped down into the indicated chair. immediately pulling out an ancient looking laptop, she focused for a moment on getting it to turn ON before looking back to the other, “sorry. it takes, like, a LIFETIME to properly get going, so i figured i’d get that out of the way.”
GIFT. is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?
yes, for the most part ! sidney is PERCEPTIVE, so they’re very good at taking note of other peoples special interests and ultimately getting them something that they’ll enjoy. her big problem is a tendency to go overboard ; sid is one of those people who operates under the misguided belief that giving others many things is the way to win their affection. when it comes to birthdays, christmas, even the likes of valentines ; she tends to get gifts upon gifts, feeling that by swamping them she’ll make them even HAPPIER. it’s something that she needs to unlearn.
HEART. is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?
quite slow, by all accounts. sid’s got… a whole host of unique issues, and they absolutely do make it difficult for them to feel comfortable handing their heart to someone.
ODE. does your muse have a way with words?
they’re good with words in GENERAL, but when it comes to expressing themselves romantically… absolutely not.
SWEETHEART. did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?
the closest that sidney got to a childhood sweetheart was her first girlfriend, who she began ( and stopped ) seeing, aged fifteen. her name was bethany, and they were best friends in middle school, with sid crushing on her first. she waited what felt like a LIFETIME for beth to see her as something more than a friend, and dating her was as easy as breathing. sid thinks if her parents hadn’t been killed, they might’ve gone the distance - and she’s probably RIGHT, to be fair. if everything hadn’t happened the way it did, she never would have changed as a person, fundamentally, and never would have moved away and started this new life of hers ; she wouldn’t have created a divide, and beth would have never felt abandoned in the past. teen tragedy, amirite.
TRUE LOVE. does your muse believe in true love?
she should. she believes in ghosts and ghouls and demonic entities ; she even believes in BIGFOOT and the loch ness monster, so… true love should not be difficult for her. sidney doesn’t not believe in it because of what’s happened in her life and who she’s become - the actual reason goes as far back as to the romance novels her father wrote. sid read a bunch of them, and there were a whole chunk with the common trope of someone falling out of love with one person only to get caught in a whirlwind romance with another ; something that was skewed as being passionate and real, but that little her took only as testament to how fragile their emotions of love are, to begin with. of course, like most people, she wants it to be real. she wants there to be someone out there just for HER. she just doesn’t think there is.
did they enjoy their foster parents fussing over them? no, not really. sidney wasn’t bothered that they CARED, exactly, but they didn’t love the constant check-in texts and facetimes that had been prompted by the swan girls ( very unfortunate, do not misunderstand ) demise. there were only so many times that one could tell concerned parents that they didn’t want to move back on campus because they liked having their own place ( and a very cute roomie ). there were only so many times they could explain, in painstaking detail, that their place of work was NOT all that far from home ( three blocks was not a marathon ).
but maybe some of their fussing had an effect. maybe they... worried, a little, about billie. since it was so dark. and since she worked a little bit farther away. maybe they forwent going home straight after work and instead, swinging by the studio - a takeout cup of coffee in each hand, like they had just... wanted to drop one off, and oh! look! you’re just done? i can walk with you - because they really didn’t trust this city, anymore. and though everything was A-OK on the phone to the foster fam... they’d love their roommate to not be the next one got. “fancy seeing you here,” sidney was not a very suave individual. no sooner were the words out of their mouth- “i mean...- i knew you’d be here, obviously. you’re the dancer. but-... coffee?” they outstretched a hand ; smile warm, expression, at large, sheepish.
“you’ve got to tell her that i’m OKAY.” she’s a little loud ( moreso than was intended ) as she falls down across from caly, and her volume DOES earn her a couple looks from a few of the patrons sitting at other tables - but sidney has no focus to spare on them. the hot beverage of caly’s choice is pushed across to her, and she wraps her hands around her coffee for the warmth. she’s not mad at how much the elder cares. she could never be. it’s just... so much. “between worrying that i work too far from home and trying to convince me to go back to living on campus, i’m going mad, and i can’t imagine what she’s putting HERSELF through. i doubt, somehow, that i’m the next one about to get got. maybe if YOU tell her that, she’ll finally get it.”
“Eh, I can handle gruesome,” Billie said with a shrug. Her father was some of a horror film enthusiast so she had long ago become desensitized to blood, guts, and gore. What most people would define as ‘gruesome’ had little to no impact on her, for better or worse. Now, if she was knee-deep in this stuff like Sid was, it might be a different story. She didn’t understand how they could research things so intensely without it impacting her psyche. “Maybe it would be different if I was seeing it rather than hearing about it, but I haven’t heard anything on the podcast that is ‘not my cup of tea.’ It’s pretty interesting, actually.” Billie leaned against the kitchen counter, folding her arms across her chest. “Turns out the world is filled with sickos and freaks – no offense, of course.”
she couldn’t even hope to hide the honest to god... sparkle, those words gave her. it’d been a few years since sidney had REALLY felt at odds with the sort of person she had become, and a few more since she’d been at other people’s mercy, so to speak, when it came to what they THOUGHT of her. but she hadn’t ever unlearned the... belief of something worst, first, philosophy. she was SO used to people not only not vibing, the way she did, but making that known - and she wasn’t able to deny how lucky she was, to have found... a few people, now, who were wildly more accepting. “well, that’s understandable. some of the stuff i come across....- it’s bad, just in text form. i’m not sure even i’d be able to handle seeing an artists rendition or something,”well... she probably would have been, but that was neither HERE nor there. sidney had a higher tolerance for such things. “none taken, trust me. my special interest is making me a nice little sum, from people who share it. that’s not SO bad. i’d rather be me than...- did you hear about that girl who was selling her own bathwater, a while back?”
“i don’t think it would be stupid to say it was more.” gianna sees the way her friend seems to struggle to put what she’d experienced into words. it causes her brows to knit together. she’s being true when she says she doesn’t think it’s stupid. but who knows what it is, if not the food. in the back of her mind she knows it could very well be ANYTHING else ; she knows too much to write anything off, but she doesn’t offer up any ideas, either. “i think that’s something you’ll have to let marinate. you ever feel like that before?”
“was that too much ? it felt right. seemed like a word in their dictionary,” she offers a laugh, as if to lighten the mood. the thought crosses her mind that maybe she should CHILL with the very… apparently obvious distaste she has towards the three volturi men. no matter how valid she feels that her feelings are. sidney is smart - that is something gianna has never been able to deny, and clearly she’s picking up on things that she hadn’t realized she was divulging. “UH-,” she pauses. “it’s not that i don’t LIKE THEM, per se. i don’t… i don’t even know them.” as in she’s never MET them face to face. she knows enough about them, though. if only ‘i was supposed to be turned into a vampire so i could join their collection of the gifted’ would be an adequate counter to her idea. it wasn’t - and gianna would continue to bite her tongue about everything. “i WISH it were as simple as that. but i just don’t get a good feeling about them. that despite everything they’re bad news. but what do i know - it’s a gut feeling but maybe i’m just paranoid.”
"you’re going to think i’m out of my mind.” she was... pretty sure most people thought that on the DAILY, as was - but it would hurt, if gianna were to become one of the many. sidney was wacky by nature, and she imagined that many of the people she surrounded herself with thought it endearing. why else would they put up with it, right? but she didn’t want to be perceived as being...- for want of a better term, off her rocker. hence, GENUINE hesitance. “in the week before my parents...- died, i had almost the exact same feeling. not like something bad was going to happen, but- specifically what...- what did. but that’s stupid. it’s- really stupid.”
“not too much. just... one of those moments where i HATE that you’re right,” yeah, those men would probably call them commoners. they’d also probably call them peasants. there were a whole BUNCH of words she can imagine they thought, looking out upon the sea of seattle natives who had all been desperate to thank them for their kindness, personally... and sidney didn’t think she’d like half of them. “i know it’s not, like... a unique line of thought, but my mom always used to say ’fofllow your gut’. if you don’t like ‘em, you don’t like ‘em for a reason. you don’t HAVE to know what that is,” sidney gave her friend a very decisive nod, the kind that, coupled with her expression, implied that not only did she TRUST gianna’s feeling, but that if she didn’t like them... neither did sid. there was just ONE loose end, to all that ; “i didn’t imagine you dancing with one of the YOUNGER guys from that cultish family though, did i?”
caius could sense a change in mood- well he noticed the change in heart beat, which was enough of a sign to let him know things had changed. looking over at the human, caius grinned, taking a deep breath and smiling. the human smell was mouth watering, but caius knew that athena wouldn’t be happy if he made a scene. “i’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult, what are vibes?” he stared at the other. “you take this toy, since your throwing is so pathetic. i can get my m- wife another one.”
“uh. dealers choice, really.” they had, of course, meant it... more NEGATIVELY, but sidney didn’t mean any ill will upon caius, specifically. they didn’t even KNOW him, though they felt as if they knew his type - rich white men who thought they could throw money at all sorts of problems and SOLVE them so simply were... kind of an issue, in life. they didn’t really mean it as an insult, per say. it was just - the easiest thing to ATTRIBUTE the feeling in the pit of their stomach to. “vibes are vibes. they’re sort of what they say on the tin,” they blinked back at him, barely batting an eye at the insult ( they were pretty bad, but they didn’t want to get into the argument that it was only because they were being thrown off their game ). “oh - that’s okay. your wife probably wouldn’t be too happy about losing out a prize to little ‘ol me, and... i don’t really play to win, anyway. it’s all ‘bout the FUN of doing it, really.”
“you can probably tell by the colour of my skin, but i despise the sun.” he chuckled, shaking his head. he also hated dying, but she didn’t need to know the specifics of it all. seeing her enjoy the thought of the rain made alec smile, it was nice seeing humans light up about the littlest things they enjoyed. “honestly, i don’t know whatever that song was, i’m pretty sure you made up words, but i get the sentiment. i love to sit by the window and read a good book, nice and quiet.”
“did we just become an exclusive ‘sun hating’ club? dibs on being treasurer,” president? too much responsibility. alec looked like he could handle that. something behind his eyes - a kind of maturity that sidney could only ever HOPE to reach. “sorry ; backtrack. you don’t know THE single most depressing song to come from the 2000s? dare i call it the next song you’ve gotta check out on spotify?” yes, she very obviously DID. “that sounds pretty good, but honestly...- I’M not very good with quiet. what works for you works for you, but i need... atmosphere.”
“maybe you had a bad bite to eat - that happens with those sort of…big affairs. some food is bound to come out wonky.” though the hosts seem like the type that don’t accept anything sort of perfection, she hopes her words are some sort of consolation. “your circle is small when you only mingle with the top 1% of the world, i guess. not much room for growth. there’s no one around to ground them, y’know?” her head shakes instinctively at their idea of having a conversation with them. “who knows if they’d even bother to mingle with the commoners, anyways.” how does one tell someone it’s best to stay in their lane without seeming like they knew more than what they let on? this isn’t one of those topics gianna could easily just… pick the brain of the other’s. find mild amusement in how much or how little she knew. knowledge has made gianna mei into a liar. or, at least, someone that skirts around the truth. plays dumb. it’s something she HATES, and such a term is not thrown around lightly for her. the gears of her brain are running on high trying to have this conversation - that might be obvious to anyone really studying her features. her brows were knitted, lips pressed together. MAYBE it simply looked contemplative. “my BEST GUESS is that they just need something to feel good about… so they’re throwing money at a city in crisis. rich people guilt is weird.”
“i’m sure you’re right,” except she... wasn’t. sidney couldn’t explain it, but... “i mean. it’s stupid to say that it was, like...- MORE than that, right? i’m sure some bad entrees could make me feel like...-” like she did, the night before her parents died. that was the REASON sid had tried not to dwell. if she thought about it too much for too long, she would go insane.
“commoners, huh?” it’s a bit strong, she’ll admit ; gianna is ONTO something, she’s sure, but she’s never really heard someone use that phrase outside of weird history channel shows ( and game of thrones, which she’d been convinced was one of those weird history channel shows for the first THREE seasons ). she wasn’t saying that gianna knew something, of course. that was such a... presumptuous thought, and while sid was queen of assumption, she didn’t want to be in that sort of head space around her friend. “you don’t like these guys, do you?” that’s not so bad, is it? not so strong a jump to make. everything she’s saying seems to lend to that idea, so what’s wrong with putting voice to it? “did one of ‘em... step on your toes at the dance, or something? cause you know, if they did, you might be entitled to compensation. hold that grudge, girl, but get that bread.”
“given your average height and probably below average weight, i do believe that’s not the first time you’ve heard that.“ now didn’t really seem to be the time to be logical. especially when it sounded like she was trying to make light of the situation, but that was fred for you. he was nothing if not PERSISTENT in nature. “yet you’re walking through this place without a friend or significant other? seems like you want to be alone to me.” he was really going to have to stop judging things at a first glance. he didn’t even know the woman in front of him and yet… “well, now you’ve made me CURIOUS and i normally don’t get curious. what is your podcast about?” fred would have time to regret prolong this conversation later, but he was genuinely curious about what she did now.
“with infallible logic like that, you must be really fun at parties,” she’s not even being sassy. she’s not being SERIOUS, of course ; but sidney was rarely the kind to poke fun in a way that wasn’t intended to be just that. it wasn’t her NATURE to jab, even if it was getting harder and harder, these days, not to. “oh, i’m alone. but...- i have a phone, and i can text someone, if i want. listen to music. take a call. all three are perfect ways to ensure that i am never, ever, left alone with my thoughts for longer than i have to be,” she smiles, but it’s not exactly the lighthearted statement that she intends upon it being. when given the choice of company or no company, sid would always choose the former. she just didn’t often get that option. “you don’t get curious? ever?” one eyebrow arched. she was DEFINED by her insatiable curiosity ; the idea of someone not being was... astounding. “mostly true crime. unsolved murders and weird disappearances and whatnot. i’ve thrown a couple supernatural based episodes in, but they’re never so well received. i guess something about my voice just LENDS itself to human horror.”
relating to humans is not something that alec admires, they’re always fickle and so judgmental, but there’s something about growing up in a small land-locked village that makes him hesitant towards anything else. brushing the snow off his shoulders yet again, alec sighed. “they truly are terrible, sand is the worst and those tans just look ridiculous.” he shook his head. “it’s probably just too cold for rain, it just turns to snow or something. but rain would definitely be better, gives me a solid reason to stay inside.”
“maybe i’m just bitter. if i lounge out on the beach for any amount of time, i just end up burning. there must be SOMETHING good about what it feels like to tan, if people keep doing it.” then again, sid was pretty sure that there was nothing that could make burning your skin in any way good... but that was neither here nor there, for the moment. “oh yeah ; that’s what I’M talking about. torrential rain, a hot water bottle, a weighted blanket. some soft tunes...- something, like... possibility by lykke li ; perfect to go into a months long depressive episode to, in my most humble opinion. fuck snow. it doesn’t even make a satisfying sound when it’s FALLING.”
