How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard - W.P.
Malta. An island in the Mediterranean between Sicily and Africa. An island with a population of approximately 400,000. A place I never imagined I would call my home.
Rewind to over a year ago. Sitting in sociology a guest lecturer revealed to us the possibility of a non-language Erasmus, open to all Arts students except those doing the BA with Journalism. I.e. me. Like teasing a dog with a treat and then putting him outside in the cold, treatless.
I wasn’t happy with my course. Everything journalism related on my C.V. came about from my own doing. Sure, stating that journalism was part of my degree helped me get my foot in the door to some places, but the skills I presented were certainly acquired on my own.
I submitted my application with a very strong letter stating that I would be willing to give up the journalism aspect of my degree for the opportunity to study in China (my number one choice at the time.) Sent and forgotten. Weeks passed and the thought of potentially packing my bags to begin a yearlong adventure soon became a constant distraction.
I finally received a response. I was refused. They reiterated that this study abroad scheme was only open to those who did not study Journalism. I repeated that I was willing to drop journalism. I was ignored.
So I wrote to the head of Erasmus when she also refused me. Weeks went by and I believed I had been ignored once more and I grew impatient and annoyed. Until I received a call to come to a meeting. I explained my choices and was surprisingly overcome with emotion as a described how unhappy I was in a course I had so many hopes for. Malta was the last on my list of three choices, excluding China. Nothing against Malta, it was just a country I had overlooked.
Until I was accepted. Although determined in my emails to drop journalism the reality was quite scary. After so many weeks of crying and making pros and cons lists and arguing with myself over the right choice, I finally made one.
Now it’s well over a year since I’ve made that decision and its undoubtedly one of the best ones I have ever made. Cheesy as it may seem I have learned more about myself this year than I have ever done. I have conquered fears and become much more confident in my opinions, my beliefs and myself.
Malta has taught me to stand on my own two feet when there are no familiar faces around. To speak up for myself in situations where I would have previously backed down. To grow valuable opinions and to skip small talk in favour of impressionable conversations and friendships.
I have met people from all backgrounds, cultures and walks of life and each person along the way has taught me that there is something to be learnt from everyone you meet. Whether that’s learning fun things like how to make sushi and German soccer songs or more serious things like politics or simply knowing when to apologize or argue back.
I travelled solo for the first time (a one-hour plane journey to your brother in Leeds does not count), and although I had one familiar face from the moment I hopped in the first taxi, I got to experience a new country on my own without friends and family holding my hands.
I’ve zip-lined, abseiled, scuba dived, rock-climbed, gone horse-riding, cliff jumped, went flyboarding (google it, I had to), saw Annie Mac live, worked in a wine&cheese bar, learned Photoshop and even took up running and started eating vegetables, which if you know me is more surprising than any of those things put together!
I’ve been to Rome twice with people from all over Europe, I’ve lost my passport in Brussels, partied in Ghent, stayed in strange hostels in Amsterdam, explored Bruges, got surprised with a trip to Milan, danced sober with strangers in the streets of Venice and celebrated Patrick’s day with the Irish Ambassador in Malta.
It’s been the best (almost) nine months of life. Of course there has been some minor lows like missing my best friend’s graduation or having to go home for sad reasons. I’ve had skype calls with my Grandmother where I haven’t said more than 5 sentences because I’m too busy crying like a baby. And there was a long few weeks at the beginning of this semester where Justin Bieber’s “Sorry” would have many of the semester 1 students missing there new found friends.
Yes, there have been sad points but too few to dampen this experience in the slightest.
With just over a month left (potentially longer if I don’t hurry up and book a flight) I had been thinking that it wouldn’t be so hard leaving. I had thought that having said the toughest goodbyes back in January that June would be a breeze. Well after using this blog as a form of procrastination I’ve come to realize that I’ve underestimated the impact that this beautiful island has had on my heart, and will forever have in my life.
The tan may fade, but the memories will last a lifetime!
