Leo and Gemini
9th September 2017
I just want to tell you, that I´m sorry for causing the trouble about my feelings.
I´m sorry for waisting our time.
The time went different between us.
For you I was just eight hours.
One of a thousand eight our night.
But for me, you where three years full of wasted love.
You lost time
I lost you
We both try to complain inter human relationships to law systems.
But ours isn´t structured
And it´s two faced at the same time.
For you I was just another frame you had to learn up.
But for me you where out of any law system,
Out of my experiences I made with love,
Out of the capacities my heart could work up.
Our feelings are worlds apart,
But our body´s so close.
You keep me warm,
You keep me close to your heartbeat,
Your chest is so warm and intimate,
But we´re also strangers with miles between our feelings.
You said you liked me,
You said I´m a amazing person,
You never met someone like me,
You adore me,
You would do anything for me.
But I love you.
As much as my little broken heart can love.
It´s not that kind of love where I could imagine giving up my live for you.
I´t that kind of love, where I want to spend every possible second with you,
In your arms
Or even standing beside you,
With the knowledge that those green eyes adore me as much,
As I love you.
Imagine the future with you, that I don´t want with someone else.
I was scared about loosing you or loosing the dream about us.
But this fear turned into obsession
And obsession into anger,
Because you caused that fear.
And I lost you,
I lost you because you said you hadn´t enough capacities for me in your life.
But I would create capacities in my life as big as the universe for you.
But my universe wasn´t good enough for you.
I didn´t say, that you haven´t had feelings for me,
I think they existed and still exist somewhere inside you,
But your heart belongs to your law system and there´s no space between your paragraphs for me.
Someone will fit in your little space between the „love paragraph“,
But I don´t
I will always be that part inside you, that you kinda like, but never love with all your heart.
I will always be your soulmate and you´ll be mine.
You´ll always be my person, my man,
But I´ll only be that law girl from a unknown chancellery.
I stil have your shirt.
But i´ll never own it.