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Noir Princesses by Ástor Alexander

peachsnout-deactivated20190614

Grandma poison water SNAPPED

me when the new semester starts: at last i have structured time again and responsibilities and deadlines to motivate me to be productive and make plans for the future. this term is gonna be great, i just know it!

me literally 2 days later:

petalya

in therapy my therapist and i were talking about my own feelings of self worth in relationships. and she asked me to say qualities about myself that someone else would be attracted to, on a romantic and platonic level. so i named some things like compassionate, empathetic, etc. and she said “you named things that you can give someone. ways you can serve, rather than ways that you are” and y'all..my mind was blown that’s gonna stick with me forever like she then proceed to tell me actual innate qualities about myself that she liked and thought anyone else would like as well and i hadn’t even considered those because like she said i was focused on things i could do outwardly to attract and maintain connections rather than who i was as a person..goddamn!!! thats tea!!!

petalya

With this in mind, this also makes me think of the ways people describe us. When people say the reasons that they love/like you or describe you as a person, are they only naming ways that you serve them? Are they equating your worth with how much you do for them?

ex. “You’re such a good listener. You’re so generous, you’re so compassionate. You’re always there for me. You always hold me down. You’re reliable”

vs.

“You’re so funny! You’re very vibrant. You’re creative, passionate, and intelligent. You’re optimistic. You’re so talented at ____” , etc. I think that’s very telling.

hauntified-deactivated20210730

This FUCKED relationships up too because once this hit me, I realized people can just be in love with the way you make them feel instead of who you actually are. ALWAYS pay attention to the last little “vs” but there because it IS super telling

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azyin

im horny but like horny to cuddle

alolanfloatzel

you’re lonely

stone-elm

snuv

A mom helping her kids beat a hard level in Super Mario Land, 1990s.

valtsv

neurotypical-karen

Actually, it just boils down to how you naturally communicate. There was a study done on this specific social situation that showed that, while neurotypicals usually respond to a person telling an unfortunate story about themselves with something along the lines of “that’s awful” or “that must feel so X,” neurodivergent folks (specifically autistic, although in my personal experience it applies to cousin conditions like ADHD and BPD) were more likely to respond with a story of their own. To us, the first one feels hollow and token, where the second one actually shows that you know how they’re feeling, and that you’re truly sympathizing rather than putting on airs, but to a neurotypical person the second one usually feels like monopolizing the conversation, or even more drastically, getting into a pissing match over who had it worse.

It’s two drastically different neurotypes getting their wires crossed when trying to communicate with each other.

lochnessblobster

Hey what the fuck

technicolortrollop

I wanted to write up a post about how I do this a lot and always feel stupid for it later and then I thought, no, I won’t do that, I won’t monopolize the post, and then I kicked myself because that is LITERALLY what this post is about.

Anyway, holy crap, I had no idea it was a neurodivergent thing to do.