IT wasn’t like him to be so edgy, the stress of moving to a new city, along with his inner struggle to forget all that had transpired in Yeoju, negatively impacting his mood. But as soon as he’d laid eyes on Ki-Woong, after weeks of acclimating himself to the very real possibility of never seeing him again — of never again experiencing the feeling of being intimately and closely bonded with another individual — all that mental and emotional preparation flew out the window, leaving him feeling raw and completely exposed, vulnerability and weakness slipping through the crevices to claim a front-row seat to his looming relapse. 〝 I GUESS I JUST ASSUMED YOU WOULD’VE GOTTEN THE MESSAGE BY NOW, 〞 Junsu muttered, absently rubbing his palms against the worn, jean material of his pants and licking his lips in nervousness as his gaze dropped once more, as though compelled by some unnamed force, to the keys still gripped in Ki-Woong’s hand, tempted to make a dive for them. But the other male’s reflexes had always been better than his, much to his chagrin. Maybe being of the cat persuasion had something to do with it.
〝 OH, C’MON. DON’T TELL ME YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT. 〞 He snorted, the sound rife with dubiety and scorn. He wasn’t some young, doe-eyed miss capable of enslaving men to her will — nor was he born yesterday. So if Ki-Woong actually did expect him to believe that nonsense, then he’d be in for a very rude awakening.
〝 YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN, 〞 he accused, holding out both hands as if to ward him off as he backed up even further, his back making contact with his front door even as he shifted mid-step to lean away from the advancing tiguri. But he had nowhere left to run. Damn. And Ki-Woong — his next words managed to catch Junsu completely off guard, rendering him motionless. 〝 I-I DON’T, 〞 he whispered, his tone sincere, too baffled by the insecurity he could hear in the soft tenor of Ki-Woong’s voice to even try to lie. 〝 I JUST NEED … TIME. 〞 And a whole lot of cinnamon buns, cheesecake, and therapy, preferably in that order.
NERVOUSNESS PERVADED THE ATMOSPHERE like an airborne virus, infecting everything in its path, and it offended the cat, causing the fur on his nape to bristle in indignation as he watched from unblinking eyes of amber as Junsu continued to fidget in his presence— the bitter scent of aloofness clouding his senses, making it harder to ignore the looming threat of permanent separation, a presage to the utter destruction of what little composure he’d managed to maintain in the standoffish company of his bonded. Because this distance reminded Ki-Woong of a time in which he struggled desperately to reach Junsu’s side in his hour of need —and failed … dismally. And no matter how often he wished to turn back the hands of time, or at the very least bury his head in the sand and pretend the last couple of months of his life had been nothing more than a stress-induced nightmare, the fact of the matter was that he was stuck trying to win back the heart of a human who’d witnessed firsthand the horrors and dangers of being bonded to a tiguri. He would give anything —even his life —to change the past, to save the boy from such horrifying experiences.
B U T he couldn’t. He wasn’t powerful enough, and he never would be — which fucking rankled in its OWN right.
“Why wouldn’t you?” Ki-Woong asked, genuinely perplexed. He’d never lie about something so important. Junsu was the reason he’d taken it upon himself to set up house in Seoul—so, yeah. In a way, he was spellbound. “Yell at me, curse me, hit me— just don’t accuse me of lying. Because I’m not.” To think that his opinion of him could be so low — it hurt. “And don’t take my words as a joke either. Again —they’re not.” He might joke about a lot of things, but his feelings for Junsu were off limits, to everyone— including Junsu and especially himself.
“Doing what, exactly?” A nonchalant quirk of his eyebrow was proof enough that he knew exactly what his little human referred to. He just pretended otherwise. But then his smile —small in size and wistful by nature —froze at the other male’s admittance. So, even after all that, he didn’t hate him? That piece of information should have thrilled him, instilled him with hope.
But it did the complete opposite.
It sat like a stone in the pit of his stomach, a stagnant reminder that this trip had been made in vain —that it had, in fact, been nothing more than another useless endeavor to turn the tides in his favor.
“Sure, J,” Ki-Woong murmured, gently claiming the boy’s hand with his slightly larger one and pressing a soft, chaste kiss against his knuckles —before finally relinquishing his keys. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be around.” Watching … waiting for the moment of truth —waiting for Junsu to finally cave and let him back in. “If you ever need me … ” He coughed, then forced another smile for the sake of propriety, not wanting to give his bonded yet another reason to avoid him. “See you.” A terse nod— before he vacated the hallway, swift as the cat who was jonesing to escape into the night, desperate for the freedom to run as fast as his four legs could carry him.
