“I will always answer your questions. No matter what.” He had promised her that on the first day he claimed her, and even in his darkest hours he would stick to it. ‘I will be here to hear you and ease any doubt in you… even the ones you have about me.’ And if he wanted her to keep on coming to him, even after he scared her so much, he knew he had to be true to his word, and keep himself from hiding the truth from her.
His eyes followed her as she moved to sit next to him. He turned his body, his arm coming to rest on the couch behind him. He couldn’t help but to find some relief as she sat so close to him, even if he had preferred her to be in his lap or so close to him, that he could hold her under his arm. This was still something. Samael nodded at her request “Alright, I only ask you to keep all your question until I’m done.” because he knew that there would be questions. He began with an emotionless expression, a simple narrator to a story, like he hadn’t been relating events from his own life. “I was called into the L’Enfer to help. Slaves were going crazy in there, for most it wasn’t about escaping it was about destruction, they wanted to hurt anything in their path, even other slaves. It wasn’t pretty.” that would explain most of the blood on his body, and the wounds she had seen “So I’ve spent a good part of the day fighting them”. Once a soldier, always a soldier.
“I was already worked up when I came home, I’ve been fighting for centuries now, I don’t see violence the same way as you do. For me is a natural thing, It can even be beautiful in its own twisted way.“ he wasn’t even ashamed of saying those words to her “And on my way here I found Anabel’s son.“ there was a tilt of Samael’s head as he remembered his old friend “I’m not sure if you remember her, but she fell for this human and had a boy.“ It all sounded so stupid to the master, he still didn’t know why his friend had done such a thing, but there wasn’t the point right now. “When sh-…“ Why was this the hardest part for him to say? “She sacrificed herself to keep the boy safe, she made me promise to protect him, and I did“ he nodded his head trying to find the pride in a promised he had kept “I kept an eye on him and his father for a couple of years, until I found this witch that did a spell to dim the boy’s light as long as he was closed to his father, so he wasn’t that easy to find.” he didn’t really get what the witch had done, all he knew was that it had cost him a pretty sum of money, and it worked, so he really didn’t care. “I checked on them from time to time. Boy was happy, curious” Samael found himself smiling at the word “But most of all he was safe.“ and that was the important part “So finding him here, about to be crush by some rocks was not a good thing for me.“. He knew he was talking too much, but he wanted to paint her a picture of everything that had led him to her room that night.
“I brought him home with me that night, and I had to tell him his mother was death. He had come here, and got himself captured because he was looking for her.“ he shook his head, he was still mad about that even after all this time. “I was so mad at him I just wanted to hurt him.” and in a way he had “but I promised his mother that I would keep him safe. So instead I locked him in a room.” Harsh, maybe, but the boy had a bed for the night and a place he could be safe to sleep in.
“When I came into your room that night” now came the part that she actually wanted to hear about “I was wound up, tensed, and pissed off. I had been fighting for most of the day and night and I just wanted something that made sense to me, I wanted peace. I wanted you.” Samael was selfish enough to wanted her, even when he knew he shouldn’t have done it. “And I was happy to see you sleep, it gave me a sense of calm for a while.” and he would have stayed there into the morning if he had to. “But then you woke up, and looked at me with such care in your eyes that it broke me.” And there it was, the part she might not like to hear “I didn’t want your care, I didn’t know, and I still don’t know what to do with it.” For the angel it didn’t make sense “After everything I did that day, I didn’t deserve it, or have a use for it… I wanted pain, your pain. I wanted to hurt you.” And While Samael knew this wasn’t a nice thing to say, it was true, and more than pretty words, he owed her that much. “But I made you a promise as well. And I much rather be sent to hell that to break that promise.” and that night, he felt like he was in hell. “And I know I scared you, and made you feel dirty. I know you saw a part of him that you didn’t know, but that is just that. A part.” Like Jekyll had Hyde, so Samael had this side to him.
“You cried yourself to sleep.“ he answered when she asked why he didn’t check on her after. He did check on her, he listed on her from outside her door. “I wouldn’t be any comfort to you that night. I was your problem, not your solution.” As much as he wanted to be, as much as he wanted to tell her she would be okay, he knew he couldn’t. “The only decent thing I did to you that night was leave you in your room.”
For the first time, Mercy doubted him. Samael could be many things, she was starting to realise. Her nature was to take care and heal people but that night was the first time that she doubted her abilities. Some things didn’t heal, didn’t he tell her something like that? The angel hoped he would use this as an opportunity to be truthful and regain some of her trust.
Being beside him gave her a small sense of release and she felt guilty for that. It could have been a trick but he had found some way to make Mercy crave him, his touch, his presence. She had longed to hear his voice when it was soft and teasing. As he began to open up, she nodded that she would stay quiet, pressing her lips against her knee to stop her from instinctively saying what was on her mind. There were things she had figured out herself, like where Samael had been and what might have transpired that night.
In a way, they were both soldier’s of god but no one had ever been as impressive as Samael. He was one of the greatest warrior’s she had known in battle. It made sense that he would be worked up after a fight. What she didn’t expect to hear was about another angel, one fallen for the person they loved. Mercy was saddened to hear of her passing. That was the curse of falling, you became more susceptible, you began a target. It was even more of a surprise to hear about her son and how Samael had locked him up in his rage, to protect him. Wasn’t that what he had done to her? Locked her up in L’Enfer, for her safety, to protect her.
The next part of the story was the one she had been expecting and she shifted in her seat, holding tightly onto her legs. While she hadn’t been able to read his thoughts, she had seen the things he spoke of. Anger, fury, the desire to hurt and inflict pain. It was the same things that made her invoke their promise. A shiver of fear dragged down her spine, a warning that it could happen again. He was a creature who wanted to conquer and destroy and she was a healer. They were the opposite ends of the spectrum from each other. Perhaps he was right, perhaps she needed the time to process her thoughts and figure things out.
Clearing her throat, she looked up at him again. “Thank you, for your honesty.” Because she believed every word he had said. She was quiet for a moment, trying to decide how to process it all. There were only two options and one would break her heart as well. Shuffling closer, the angel picked up his hand and laced their fingers together, comparing the size of their hands in her silence. “I don’t like being alone,” she whispered, unable to meet his eyes. She had missed Dr Jekyll and now, that’s who was sitting beside her. This version of Samael was worthy of her love, of her admiration. “I don’t want to be without you... I missed you.”
