🧚‍♀️𝓛𝓸𝓾-𝓐𝓷𝓷🧚‍♀️

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔴𝔞𝔱𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔡𝔬𝔠𝔲𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔬𝔫 𝔏𝔢𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔯𝔡 ℭ𝔬𝔥𝔢𝔫-

Both movies portray the, what seems to be, idyllic life of Leonard Cohen, full of passion, both on the professional and relationship sides. However, one depicts Cohen as a free, almost libertine, but successful man, while the other doesn’t hide what lay behind Cohen and her muse’s life. Donald Brittain and Don Owen’s informal documentary followed Leonard through his idle everyday life. We see him reading his work to various captivated audiences, spending time with peers, working on his poetry, during his short stay in Montreal, while he resides in a cheap hotel. Leonard thus appears to be a simplistic man, enjoying life, cultivating his fondness for writing, getting playful with friends and women in particular… His enviable fulfilling life is actually intentionally disguised by an embellishing filter, attractive to Cohen fans and anyone looking for a glorified portrait of the artist. Whereas, in Nick Broomfield’s movie, we discover a completely different man. Yes, Cohen still navigates through life by letting his impulses lead the way. But he is revealed as being an idealistic man who’s disloyal to his partner. Marianne Ihlen, who we only hear of in the first documentary as being Cohen’s muse, whom he loves deeply, gets caught up in a dreamy yet destructive lifestyle for she is head over heels for the “allusive creature.” Both go through hardships and ordeals, yet, one person that is a direct victim of their irresponsible way of life is Marriane’s son, Axel Joachim (whom she had with her first lover). Indeed, he has to go with the flow and comply with their always moving and uncertain lifestyle. On top of not having gotten the opportunity to know his biological father, he went through the unpleasing experience of being sent to a boarding school, therefore getting abandoned by his overwhelmed mother.

Because the first documentary was filmed, released, and supervised (at least watched) by Leonard Cohen himself, it seemed logical to spotlight the star. On the opposite, because Cohen and Ihlen were both deceased, there seemed to be no reason to hide the demeaning truth.

You never truly know celebrities...

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔶 𝔄𝔫𝔤é𝔩𝔦𝔮𝔲𝔢-

When I get into a role, I tend to easily get overflowed by emotions. This time was no different. I chose scene 4 in which Angélique believes (or rather prays) that “things will be different.” How I personally performed it was hopeful in a desperate way. As if, despite her begging, she knows things won’t be different. This scene is extremely powerful and heartbreaking. It hurts to see her genuinely willing to do well for the sake of her “masters.” It hurts to see her wanting to receive “loving kindness” from inhuman people. It hurts to see her thinking that the situation is “honest and fair.” My voice soon started to shake, my optimistic smile wobbled, and I ended up shedding a tear. I closed my eyes, repeated to myself, just like she does, “this time will be different,” and let the tear roll down my cheek.

Speak up against injustice.

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 ℭ𝔯𝔢𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔩𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 ℑ𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔢𝔵𝔥𝔦𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫-

I am fond of language learning, for it provides a fulfilling sense of achievement and allows the mind to expend both its knowledge and vision on the world. Since I’ll be in Canada for some time, and as the suggestion asks us to do, I decided to learn some basic words of Cree (Indigenous most spoken dialect).

I discovered that the written form of these words (and even the words themselves) varied from a source/region to another. Therefore, hello could be spelled Tânsi (with a streak on the a, but unfortunately, my keyboard does not have this accent, although some do write it with a circumflex accent…) or Tânisi. I’d say the second source I used (Online Cree Dictionary, Cree Language, Cree: Words, Alberta Elders' Dictionary, Maskwacis) should be more trusted that the YouTube video ((670) Mini Cree lesson with Randy Morin - YouTube), but still, I included both to show the difference. The reason why they slightly differ might me that the first i isn’t pronounced, so perhaps, some have reduced it to the written form: Tânsi.

I observed that the h was not always pronounced; for ‘I love you,’ Ki sâkihitin, the h cannot be heard, it sounds as if the syllable “hi” wasn’t present.

Like in English (and other languages of course), the letter i isn’t pronounced always the same. To keep the previous example, the two middle i are pronounced like an English e, and the first and last ones are pronounced like a (without the y sound). Another lovely and interesting thing I learned is that Indigenous people don’t differentiate people’s genders. Therefore, Wîya means him/her!

Here’s a fun video ((670) Cool words in Cree - YouTube) in which I was surprised to see the richness of the language, they have a word for “jedy!”

Finally, I sometimes felt like I was speaking Japanese, especially with the word thank you: Hiy Hiy.

The aspect of the Indigenous culture I find most compelling is their connection to nature, to the spirits that are present all around (and in!) them, and all the benefits nature can provide them (medicine, metaphysical, communication…). I love learning about religions, beliefs and traditions. I’d be delighted to attend a ritual/sacred celebration and perhaps enter a state of trance in which I’d make one with nature and the world around me.

Learn about other cultures <3

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔶 ℭ𝔶𝔠𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔪𝔞-

I know I am not the only one, and that’s what gives me the confidence to say this: I did not enjoy the play at all. Although I love attending plays, this one deeply disappointed me. I was at first compelled by the author’s self-narration of her youth, which I found relatable and fun. It was indeed a good start. She told us about her studies, notably with another comedian, a part I was interested in. I liked their playfulness and the glimpse of the Shakespearean play (which I realize I definitely would have preferred to attend #sorrynotsorry).

I liked that she casted actual professors to ‘teach’ us the history of the discrepancy between French and French-Canadian people. However, it felt, and I think several would agree, like a long and heavy lecture. I guess the author had in mind that speeding up the ‘lesson’ would make it more entertaining and captivating, but it failed (at least for me). She did not get the point of the play across. I don’t remember any of the dates/places/events/names mentioned during this draining lecture.

In addition, I don’t understand the choice of multilayered plots. When I force myself to remember the play, I recall a little girl’s childhood, a history class, fights and conflicts between characters, and an ambiguous… love story? I’m not sure since, towards the end of the play, I fell asleep (the length of the play added to my lack of sleep made this consequence inevitable). Fortunately, the room was plunged into darkness, otherwise, it would have been very awkward and offending to see me arise during the rounds of applause.

The bus drive to get to the other theatre was an original choice that might have been ‘revolutionary,’ but I did not enjoy it either. I don’t even remember why we changed place. Although I was willing to follow along, the drive was merely confusing and distracting; I’d say it was the moment when they lost my last bit of interest.

It's okay to disagree

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔦𝔫 𝔈𝔫𝔤𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔱𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔰-

As I made clear in the “future job” post, I’m currently planning on becoming a teacher (again I am still very unsure regarding this path). The factor that led to pursue this career is inspiration. Some of the English (literature) teachers I encountered along the way were the reasons why I chose to do the same. Some were, pardon my impudence, rather terrible. They showed no interest in their professional activity, did not evince sympathy for the students, or simply lacked the required qualifications. I still cannot fathom how one made so many mistakes that even a slightly trained student could spot. Now I’m just being judgmental, but I needed to make things clear: not all teachers are models to me. But it simply means that the ones who are demonstrated passion for their job and that’s one stuck with me all these years.

When my interest gets triggered, I try to satisfy it by feeding it. Therefore, I had to delve into the secrets of teaching. The first teacher with whom I bonded was, despite her sometimes questionable ways of teaching, born to do this job. I got to know her through our personal singing sessions during lunch. Indeed, she suggested we sing together from time to time, for we are both fond of singing and she plays the guitar. However, I have to say, I did not get to know what lies behind the job, I rather got to know her interests and personal life, as well as her compelling youth. She had travelled and settled for a while in Ireland and had fallen in love with it. From then on, it has always been a dream of mine to go there.

It is with the next teacher, whose passion definitely showed, that I got to understand what being a teacher implied. Which studies I had to enroll in, the amount of work you had to provide, that it was okay to not be a book nerd, and that despite the, let’s face it, often exhausting and discouraging classes to teach, the spark that kindled passion could never cease.

Thanks to the inspirational work of these two teachers (and more, they simply struck me on a deeper level), I found the strength and motivation to achieve my goals.

Let your spark blaze <3

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔡𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔢𝔵𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤-

As I stated in a previous post, I am a member of the CoMUM (Comédie Musicale de l’Université de Montréal), therefore, I have 6 rehearsal hours per week. With musical training comes dancing. When I lived next to the school, I could go back at the end of the rehearsal (10pm) to my apartment and study immediately. Because I get a sense of achievement after training intensely, it usually puts me in a state of “boosted motivation” or “study rush,” a period when I want to complete everything on my to-do-list; a virtuous (which can lead to vicious) circle of accumulated rewards. In general terms, after exercising, I like to calm down, sit and use my energy to get things done. These days, it’s hard to get into this “rush” state for I don’t have time to exercise (and, regardless of the impediment, I don’t like exercising; dancing is the SOLE workout I do every week). There is another snag in the fact that I need to work almost INSTANTLY after exercising, otherwise, I lose my motivation. Now, I have a 40-minute travel to get to university and vice-versa, so it has become impossible to make use of my “study rush.” The time it takes to get back home wears me out to the point where, when I finally (I sound so dramatic) reach home, the only thing I want to do is lie down and rest (unless I have something urgent to do). By the way, the cold is mostly the reason why I get so easily exhausted after spending time outside.

Exercising turned out to be indeed a good way for me to study effectively. Unfortunately, it's hard to combine all the requirements that lead to efficiency.

Stay healthy and protect yourself from the cold <3

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔡𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔡𝔦𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔢𝔫𝔳𝔦𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱-

Because I moved out and live farther than I used to, I am bound to study at school between breaks, usually for numerous hours. Because it is the nearest and most easily reachable place, I usually study in the cafeteria. Honestly, I think I should work in the library to escape distractions and to work in a more appropriate space. Indeed, in the cafeteria, as they are completely allowed to, people talk and laugh and eat… the opposite of what we look for when in need to study. In addition, I find the place to lack good lighting. Therefore, it affects my productivity. I always end up not achieving much despite the amount of time I have.

Another annoying aspect of public places is the lack of privacy and comfort. Indeed, when I work, I long for comfortable, both in terms of furniture and atmosphere. My back easily hurts badly, thus I need an appropriate backrest (usually found in classes or libraries, places DEDICATED TO WORK (can you tell I’m kind of mad at myself?)). The chairs there possess no soft surface, which forces me to keep shifting positions to find the right one, or at least to try and relieve body aches. Finally, among all these people, I feel observed (I would not go as far as saying that I have social anxiety, but I do tend to avoid social interactions and feel most uneasy when surrounded by a crowd). Consequently, I can’t sit however I want, take off my shoes, take a nap and put an alarm clock (my lack of rest leads me to tiredness whenever I pause for a while… because I can’t nap, I have to stop working and find a somewhat entertaining thing to keep myself awake). As you understand, the cafeteria is not the place for me (yet I still spend my breaks there, please a round of applause for how contradicting I am 👏🙂).

In conclusion, do what I say, not what I do…

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔴𝔞𝔱𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔅𝔢𝔞𝔫𝔰-

The scene that struck me the most is the one that takes place in the car, while Bean, her mother and her sister are penetrating a zone defended by opponents who throw rocks at every Indigenous person trying to cross the limit. Accordingly, their car receives countless rocks, all so violently propelled that windows shatter at one point. I shed a tear while watching this scene for it broke my heart to see an innocent youthful little girl, Ruby, be a victim of ruthless inhuman people. To see the incomprehension in her eyes and behavior when she realizes something dangerous is occurring, followed by distress and profound fear when trying to protect herself, feels utterly unfair and revolting. In addition, the pieces of glass falling and scattering in her hair was the final straw! It represented the direct effect of racism/xenophobia on the targeted people. Despite the mother’s attempt to remove the pieces of “projected hatred,” it is clear that the dreadful event has hurt her on a deeper level. Another character tore my heart into pieces during the scene: the mother. A motherly figure is thought to be calm and protective, whereas, given the terrorizing state of the event, the mother quickly loses her control and bursts out into torrents of tears and shaking. Seeing a parent lose their calm and cry constitutes, at least to me, an unnerving moment. Another element that emphasizes the despair of the scene is the projectiles used by the offenders, these being rocks. Rocks are symbols of nature, a vital part of the Indigenous culture with which they are deeply connected. The fact that non-Indigenous people use this matter as a harmful tool enters in contradiction with the Indigenous’ values. Throughout the movie, we come to know that this episode resulted in trauma, overcome by Beans at the end, for she turns what felt like a reminder of their helplessness into a necklace that from then on symbolizes their victorious fight.

We are all humans.

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔩𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔬𝔫 𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔲𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔯-

I am most uncertain regarding my decision of studying English and French literature. Despite this oppressive doubt, the career I’ve longed for in the past couple years is teaching (the English language rather than literature, or perhaps French as a secondary language, but we won’t tackle this program today). The reason why I study (French) literature although I don’t plan on teaching it is because I’m interested in literature in both languages; I like to broaden my vision on the world and its history by learning about different authors/literary movements/devices.

Obviously, whatever the desired field of studies, to become a teacher, additional training is required. Now, the training diverges according to the country I decide to study in. Will I stay in Montreal? Will I go back to France, my native country? Will I find a yearning to study, once again, abroad?

If I stay in Montreal, I will probably apply for the “MATL- Teaching English as a Second Language,” a certificate offered at McGill university. This certificate comprises “45 credits of coursework, coupled with two school-based internships totaling 15 credits. In addition to coursework and internships, students are expected to complete a self-directed Capstone Research Project as well as develop and maintain a Professional e-portfolio that provides evidence of professional growth” (MATL- Teaching English as a Second Language | Integrated Studies in Education - McGill University). Internships are essential in, first, making sure the environment and the career implications please you, then in developing the necessary skills to become an experienced teacher.

Right now, the only thing I can do to help me get there is, of course, focusing on my needs and desires to ensure my career choice. In a second phase, teaching (English) as a part-time job would be of great help to, again, improve my capacities, and become more comfortable in the environment.

Find your path <3

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔐𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩 𝔞 𝔣𝔢𝔴 𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔞𝔤𝔬-

It would only be fair to compare this experience with the soundwalk we did, for we went to some of the same places (such as where the river was, and the plaque) and tackled the subjects of slavery, and indigenous and black people in Montreal a few centuries ago. The guide was adorable, he even asked for a group picture at the end of our tour. However, the weather wasn’t with us today. It was rainy, tiny raindrops kept falling… fortunately, several classmates (including some friends) had brought their umbrellas, so I was protected! The construction noise (ceaselessly following us!) was not the best thing either, it prevented us from hearing everything thus staying focused.

The end of our tour was pretty much like the soundwalk in terms of locations, but this time, we got to exchange on what we learnt, to ask questions and take guesses. The latter was a fun part of the tour, because Rito kept making us doubt about whether the location used to be a normal market or a slaves market, so we were always eagerly waiting for his answer!

Being and seeing with our own eyes the tackled places is always a better means to learn, rather than read a schoolbook in which it usually doesn’t even deal with these subjects. You get to visualize what the place looked like, without a huge building or road, but rather a cemetery or the river itself. And again, committing fully to the experience by taking guesses or asking questions helps remember what the guide tells us. Finally, learning about the history of ‘your’ city is immensely valuable for you become aware of the issues that occurred in the past (and still today i.e. the lack of representation and information on minorities/persecuted people) and are then able to spread the word to the world.

Remember for the ones who don't.

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔪𝔢𝔡𝔦𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤...-

I had had several attempts at meditating throughout my life. I usually did a session to try and relax for a short while, but I never achieved an entire meditation program (because I simply wasn’t willing to). Meditation most often has an impact on my well-being, I rarely feel anxious after doing one. However, in this case, (and unfortunately, I must say), it did not work. The thing is, it demanded that we do it at a time when our body and mind are the most likely to receive the benefits of meditation. Therefore, despite the wise idea of doing a session right before studying, to calm down and empty our mind, it simply could not be the right moment. My head was filled with work-related thoughts; I felt super anxious (because it was the last evening before the exam), and I just could not commit completely to the exercise. I did follow the steps and do the 10-minutes session, but the entire time, the only thing I had in mind was: “I’m wasting time”. Not that meditation is useless, as I said, it normally eases my nerves, but these few hours were my last chance to ingest the lesson.

NEVERTHELESS, I decided to look up ‘ambiance music’ (still on Insight Timer) because the background music during the session did feel appeasing. I listened to a first one, but didn’t quite enjoy it, for it felt a tiny bit dark and oppressive (if I’m going to spend multiple hours with music in my ears, it better be ‘perfect’). Then I tried another one and instantly grew fond of it. It was JUST what I needed. Peaceful music with raindrops, perfect when staying inside and for an autumn mood. It annihilates the daunting silence of an empty room, and creates a sort of connection with nature; it also serves as a reminder of the meditating session, therefore of the communion I felt between mind, body, and soul.

I started listening to it a lot. I mean I tried it only 2 days ago, but I already listen to it almost every time I know I’m going to work for several hours, as well as while walking to get to class to take an exam (I tend to not be able to listen to songs with lyrics for it invades my already full brain, thus increases my stress level).

Disconnect to reconnect better <3

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔶 𝔉𝔬𝔵𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯-

I greatly enjoy assisting to a show. It wasn’t the first time I went to a play, because I took drama classes for 2 years in France and got to attend several plays and perform some (and I’m not stopping! I auditioned for this year’s CoMUM’s musical! And I got in!! I can’t wait to see it all coming together :D Please excuse the digression). This means that I am familiar with this environment, and it makes me even more impressed by the comedians’ job, they did so well!! I was particularly impressed by ‘Judith’s’ capacity to cry on command, and ‘William’s’ robotic, awkward, juvenile, frail, and many other traits attitude. Being used to attending plays also means that I know my sensibility. I am aware that I am quite emotional, I’ve already cried during two plays for I felt overwhelmed in various ways (for one, I felt a wave of awareness, support, and solidarity (it was a feminist play), as for the other one, I felt deeply disturbed and moved because the play was about jealousy, self-esteem, appearances, teenage crisis, bullying, and suicide).

And this play didn’t escape the tearing eyes moment. But it was actually for personal, almost ridiculous reasons. In fact, I lost my rabbit 2 years ago, and upon seeing dead rabbits brutally tied by their motionless legs to serve as baits, I just couldn’t hold it in. On top of that, the play conveyed an uneasy feeling of oppressiveness, emphasized by the smallness of the room and the proximity with the comedians.

I was struck by one of the artistic direction’s choices. During William’s speech on foxes, the imagery was actually represented through the various characters. Judith entered during the fox’s description, letting William gently brush his love interest’s skin; Sarah was associated with the slyness and corruption proper to foxes; as for Samuel, he embodied the “beast” and the “fat, lazy alcoholic”.

What one might find unsignificant, but I found interesting (and a good decision), was the use of music between scenes, to leave the comedians move themselves and the props to the designated places. On the one hand, it startled several members of the audience (myself included), for it was quite loud and usually started with a ‘bang’, and on the other hand, it fitted the mood and prevented us from hearing the actors’ movements.

Finally, I was quite worried about the ‘touchy’ scenes, such as William whipping himself and raping Judith. They did show him literally whip himself, but fortunately, we weren’t facing his back (I know he tried to be gentle with it but still). As for the rape, they didn’t make Judith lie down, which would have been even more unsettling, they rather made them go behind the tree. Probably a wise decision for it may have disturbed some.

Give your support to art careers <3

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔜𝔞𝔶𝔬𝔶 𝔎𝔲𝔰𝔞𝔪𝔞'𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔨𝔰-

Just like any piece of writing, an artwork can be profoundly analyzed. After all, both are forms of art and a means of self-expression, one simply manipulates words while the other plays with different tools and materials to catch someone’s eye. Both have certain rules and techniques they can follow or subvert. Despite them being independent genres, it does not make them incompatible. Because a literary text is solely composed of letters, an artwork may serve as its visual representation.

We often consider art as a communal experience, but to me, it consists in an individual experience as much as reading does. When looking at a piece of art, whether or not someone is sharing their opinion about it, you inevitably delve into your own thoughts, as far-fetched as they may be, and start building an opinion of yours.

Despite the powerfulness that words possess, the experience of being in one of Kusama’s “Infinity rooms” is incomparable. In literature, you cannot convey such a feeling of being utterly alone yet entirely surrounded by these gay, dancing lights, and knowing that the room is ‘infinite’, yet that you cannot take any step without encountering water, thus risking to trip. By reflecting on that, you actually realize that art is even more an individual experience, for you are its subject, you feel and live things directly; whereas when reading, because the second-person pronoun is rarely used, it is impossible to get a direct experience.

Visiting an exhibition is always a great way to put things into perspective, to take a step back. By learning about the artist’s life, career, and struggles, you consequently realize that you are not alone, that some people went through bigger drama than you did (not trying to be condescending sorryyy) and it makes us wonder. In addition, the deep reflection that goes behind observing every piece of art is a form of escape. You are free to let your eyes and mind wander among queer sculptures and paintings; you get to ponder on your own significance, your place, your worth as a human being when you are faced with yourself and the great emptiness of the infinite.

Welcome art into your lives <3

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)

[merecreature]

-𝔘𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔴𝔬𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔪𝔶 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢 𝔠𝔥𝔬𝔦𝔠𝔢𝔰 𝔯𝔢𝔤𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔡𝔦𝔢𝔰-

I have never read much in my life. Quite paradoxical right? This contradictory fact has been, especially since my last year in high school, a source of profound doubt for me. Am I in the right field? Am I good enough for this? Do I deserve to be here? Indeed, how could I fit among book worms and literature lovers when I am the kind to finish one (personal) reading a year? “I don’t belong here”, I tell myself repeatedly…

This anxiety, ceaselessly jeopardizing my mental health, caused me to crack in front of a teacher. I had to share my burden; however, I could not get two words out that my trembling voice instantly betrayed me, and my eyes filled with tears. Do not fear, the teacher succeeded in alleviating my weight.

With time, I made friends, and fortunately realized I was not the only one who was not deeply fond of reading. I discovered that others did not know what they were doing here, and, perhaps selfishly, it made me feel better.

Now, one might be wondering: why are you studying literature if it stresses you out so much? Well, literature, despite my lack of knowledge, has been an interest of mine for quite some time now. Apart from improving my English, I am keen on learning about the history of literature (both French and English), especially the miscellaneous movements, the various struggles, and the different quarrels it led to. Regarding analysis, I adore exploring meanings, finding symbols and metaphors, delving into poems, and reading them out loud. Obviously, literature is a great means to understand the world, even slightly better. Nevertheless, as Ngozi Adichie rightly pointed out, one should always be wary of the way they describe someone or something, they might end up categorizing and putting people/things into boxes. Finally, as someone who loves comparing things, Lisa Bu’s practice of reading books in pairs, or reading books in two languages, struck me deeply; I found it, regardless of how fastidious it sounded, greatly inspiring.

More than a month in my studies in Montreal, I can say, more or less confidently, that I feel in the right place, at least for now. I still don’t know where it will lead me to professionally, or if I’ll even keep studying in this field after getting my degree, but I try not to think about it excessively. As I’ve been told, I should think about enjoying the present, my college years, my courses, my friends, rather than unnecessarily dwell on my life choices and future. I am finally an independent woman, and I intend to enjoy life to its fullest from now on (;

Best of luck to myself and every literary creature <3

Lou-Ann Onillon (20241041)