Stories of a life

Stories about my life...As a former rower and now a runner in London, my volunteering with WalkTheWalk and my passion about baking... amongst other things...

[mermaid017]

Rowing vs Running!

Saturday, 29th June 2019

Today is the hottest day of the year in London so far. I’m saying so far because summer has not long started so I’m hoping for a few more hot days till the next season comes along! Temperatures are meant to go down tomorrow, which is a good thing. I know I sound like I’m contradicting what I just said, just trust me, I’m not going crazy!

Tomorrow is the 2nd race I’m running as part of the summer league organised between my club, Ealing Eagles, and another 8 clubs of the surrounding areas. Last weekend was my first race and I quite enjoyed the experience.

It was the first time I was anywhere with more than just a couple of Eagles and I got to meet a lot more, feeling like I belong a bit more. We ran 5 miles around Headstone Manor Park, a race organised by Metros RC. The clubs take turns organising one of the 5 races that make up the Summer League between Sudbury Court, ESM or Ealing, Southall and Middlesex, Metros, Mornington Chasers, Serpentine, Hayes and Harlington, Dulwich Park Runners, Queen’s Park Harriers and the Eagles.

Tomorrow’s race is our home race, with the Eagles co-hosting the event with ESM. This means that we provide volunteers and also food for the post run feast. It was a funny scene last Sunday as people formed an orderly queue to get their food, which consisted of sandwiches, crips, cake, amongst other things (I’m quoting what I saw people walking away from the gazebo on their plates since my food intolerances kept me away from anything on the table) to try to make up for lost calories.

For tomorrow’s race, I’m taking my banana bread. Although I haven’t baked in a very long time, I thought it was a good occasion to put my Blue Star to some good use. The bread is currently in the oven baking, while I bake in my room, in the dusk. I can’t even stand the idea of turning on the light, I think my room may get even warmer!

I’ll make my way to Perivale to meet my fellow Eagles and try to score as many points as we can and see if we can get the top spot! At the moment, QPH are ahead with a minimal advantage so it’s all still up for grabs!

Today, someone asked me if I felt about running the same way I felt about rowing. That was a very tough question until I started to really think about it, to be honest.

The answer was quite simple: No, I don’t feel about running the same that I felt about rowing. 

I discovered rowing as a young child, at the age of 11 years old and I excelled at it. I reached international level and, at one point of my rowing career, I was an olympic hopeful. I can’t say that it was a gift but it was definitely a skill and one that I was really good at as a teen in Portugal. It was also a passion I rediscovered as an adult and I loved rowing competitively. 

As for running, I’m never going to excel at it, it’s becoming more of a passion that I thought it could be even a year ago but it’s a chilled relationship. I’m never going to reach grandness as a runner, I’m always going to be bottom of the food chain and I can run socially without the need to compete. Whereas with rowing, it was all about training to compete. I can’t even consider getting on a boat on a Saturday or Sunday morning without having done any training during the week!

One thing that rowing and running have in common is that both act as releases for me, something to help me clear my head and/or relax! As an athlete, you develop coping mechanisms and rowing got replaced with running!

My attitude with running is to improve, do better than my previous race and stick to my training. That’s going to be what I’ll be doing over the next 12 weeks in the run up to Ealing Half-Marathon.

You can expect a few more posts about running soon! 

[mermaid017]

Edinbra Moonwalk 2019

Friday, 14th June 2019

It’s been a couple of weeks since I last wrote anything, not by lack of inspiration. I just haven’t really stopped over the last two weeks.

After the Edinburgh Half, I came back to London for a couple of days, enough time to unpack and repack my hand luggage and make my way to Portugal for a wedding. Spent a long weekend there, saw Xinha and Joao get married, had a few laughs, drove a bit and then, before I knew it, it was time to head back to London.

Again, spent a few days at home, just long enough to unpack and repack my hang luggage and head back to Edinburgh, this time for the Moonwalk.

The 3 times that I had to pack my suitcase, I was never taking the same clothes. Well, almost! Between the 2 trips to Edinburgh, I did need a few of the same items like my WTW pink hat that I wore after the Half and then wore it again during the Moonwalk since I get cold with the drop of temperature.

This year, the Moonwalk was different in Edinburgh since my partner in crime (or should I say, volunteering) couldn’t make it as his mother in law had had hip replacement surgery just a few days before the event. It wasn’t the same without him, especially since this time I was the team leader when normally he has that role. My friend Sarah, from a course we did together from September to April, had signed up to volunteer so I asked if she could be my assistant and that was it was guaranteed that I’d be working with someone I knew.

It worked out wonderfully since she took on the same attitude towards me as I do with Steve all the time - be as sarcastic as possible to everything the other person says. We had a laugh, talked the whole time we were together, walking up and down Johnston Terrace between Lothian Road and the corner of Market Street and the Mound. 

I’ll be glad to go back to my normal role of Assistant Team Leader. Don’t think for a second that I regretted having the role of Team Leader. The group was amazing, all in high spirits and laughed the whole night so I’d be more than happy to have them in my zone next year, including our friend Val that also attended the same course as us. BUT man, the radio!! The amount of palavra coming out of people’s mouths on that radio the WHOLE night, is just too much! I kept laughing in the middle of my conversations with the marshals or with Sarah because I couldn’t believe what I was listening. I’ve told Steve he can have the radio back again any time! 

It will be great to have the Hugmeister team back together next year, hopefully for both events so that we can talk, jump around, laugh the whole night like we love to do!

I’m back in London for a while with no real travel plans for the next couple of months, till the August Bank Holiday weekend. I guess soon it will be time to start my half-marathon prep for the Ealing Half on the last weekend in September. More about that in the days to come!

[mermaid017]

First Half-Marathon... DONE!!

Wednesday, 29th May 2019

It’s been a few days since my first half-marathon and I guess I’ve had time to process the whole weekend.

I met my aunt on Friday afternoon when she arrived at the hotel where we stayed on our first night in Edinburgh. She wanted to go get something to eat, but as a good niece that I am, I told her I’d come with her to keep her company and we could go check out the sights. We only had dinner reservations at 7pm and we could walk for a bit. 

Well, it turned out that my aunt and my dad had plotted a surprise and my willingness to spend time with her, almost spoilt the surprise. My dad decided a month ago to go to Edinburgh as well and be there to support me on my first half-marathon, just like he did with mum when I was a rower. He never got to see me rowing as an adult but he was there for my first half-marathon.

It was a wonderful surprise and we had a good laugh with all the attempts that my aunt had made to keep me at the hotel so they could really surprise me. 

Fast forward to Sunday, half-marathon day! Carla and I grabbed a taxi and picked up dad on the way to Potterow, or as close as the taxi could take us since most of the streets around Teviot Place were closed. Understandable since less than 90 minutes after we arrived, the place would be packed with runners.

It had been raining since the night before and we were ready for some more rain, armed with ponchos purchased at one of the local souvenir shops the day before. Dad kept being amazed by how prepared Carla and I were about everything, from the ponchos to the waterproof trousers and jacket that Carla had. We kept telling him he had a lot to learn from us, as we giggled together.

We made sure we located the departure of the buses that would take my aunt and dad to the finish line and then we hid from the rain under mews nearby. Other people had found shelter under doorways, basically anywhere they could. I dropped off my bag in the lorry that corresponded to my pen colour - Gold! - and my number. By then, I was almost ready to go with plenty of time to spare. I didn’t need anything from it and no point in waiting till the very last minute. My nerves were already high so no point in adding to them.

About 20 to 8, we walked up to the top of my zone and we spent some time there together, before it started to get busy. There was a recording on the loud speakers reminding people how long to the start, that they needed their numbers and that they should be in their start zones 15 minutes before the start of the race. Crazy as it may seem, Carla and dad said there were people walking down to the toilets long after that. Not sure any of them started in their zones or just go stuck in the toilet queue. I know all about the last “one” for the road but c’mon!

The recording kept telling us how many minutes to go on a countdown and it almost sounded like a bad thing. At 8am on the dot, the recording announced the start of the race and we all cheered, especially since it was going to be another 15-20 minutes before our turn to cross the start line - mine was the second to last group.

Eventually, it was our turn to walk up to the start and nerves really started to kick in, the same way like when I rowed and butterflies would start flapping in my tummy just before the umpire set my boat off. When I crossed the start line, all nerves were gone. There were people cheering around the corner, some with banners for loved one, others just clapping anyone that passed them.

That’s the beauty of Edinburgh - I can’t say what happens in other cities, to be fair! Its people come out to cheer the runners, which is easy since the race goes through housing areas. At one point, we passed a house where a little girl was outside still in her robe cheering the runners, while dad was leaning against the doorway. The little girl wasn’t saying much but just her presence said it all.

So... how was my half-marathon experience? Overall, I enjoyed it! I did my own race from the start, confident in the training that I had done for the last 8-10 weeks and keeping in mind that I wasn’t feeling 100% with my sore throat and cough. I kept in mind what friends had told me about not getting swept up by the adrenaline of the event and then going too fast off the start. I made sure I checked my garmin to ensure that I wasn’t going too fast and when it looked like I was slowing down, I checked how I was feeling and either went a little bit faster or kept the pace not to strain myself.

I didn’t mind the rain, the wind wasn’t too bad but I struggled, I won’t lie. In the last 2k, I felt like I was running a lost race. Not in the sense that I couldn’t win anymore because that was never going to happen. It was hard to see people running towards the last km while I had more than twice as long to go. I knew exactly how much I had left but my head just kept focussing on that. I couldn’t see where the turning point was and being a visual kind of person, it was very hard to digest. Eventually, it was my turn to come back on myself and head to the finish line. And also see my aunt and dad. It was such a great feeling because I didn’t know exactly where I’d see them. They weren’t at the finish line but I didn’t care for that.

Carla told me, after the race, that dad had been worried most of the time it took me to race. I had told them that I would call if anything happened and I had to stop running and that’s what she reminded him. He was concerned that I could have had a Raynaud’s or asthma attack and not been in touch. Guess all of his doubts disappeared when he saw me running past. He did ask if I was OK and I gave him a thumbs up! I didn’t have much of a voice since Saturday morning so thumbs up was better than me trying to shout.

I did my first half-marathon in 2:23:26, which is awesome. I don’t care if people think it’s slow or not, it’s my PB so far and I intend to smash it! Maybe it will happen in September when I do my next half-marathon, maybe it will be next year if I sign up for another one. It’s my personal best for now. I know I’ll be able to do it all over again in Ealing!

Guess all that is left to say is that I loved my weekend in Edinburgh and especially having my Titi Carla and my dad with me as my cheering squad! 

First Half-Marathon... DONE!!

[mermaid017]

Going Home!

Friday, 24th May 2019

I’m currently on the train to Edinburgh aiming to arrive at 11:22. I normally get on the 8am train that gets me to my favourite city one hour later so not too sure why I booked the earlier train. Either the price was cheaper or I thought it was great idea at the time. I’m full of those, the ideas that seem great at the time and, on the days running up to it, you think what the hell was I thinking. That tends to happen the day before when I’m setting my alarm and I see the number 5 as the hour when I’ll have to wake up. It’s definitely a “facepalm” kind of moment.

All I have to think is that I’ll get to Edinburgh one hour earlier than normal, which will give me extra time in Scotland. What’s not to like about that? If it’s just the lack of sleep because of the early start this morning, who cares? I’m going home! And this time, I’ll have my Titi Carla with me. I’ve messaged her earlier to say I was already on the train and she messaged back that she had plenty of time before she had to get on her way to the airport. I’m on the same island as my destination but taking the slow/touristic approach.

I’m excited about the trip for different reasons, as you may know:

- I’m going home! That’s always the best feeling, I love going back to Edinburgh, my safe haven.

- I’m going to see some of my friends, starting with my Grams tomorrow so our usual Saturday morning coffee/tea catch up and then Baby Kate is meant to go to the finish line on Sunday to see me complete my first half-marathon.

- I’ll be showing my Edinburgh to my Titi Carla who’s visiting Edinburgh for the first time.

- I’ll be running my first ever half-marathon – throat is feeling a bit better but my asthmatic lungs are set for a big workout! In the rain! Anyone knows any weather gods and can put in a good word for me? Please?

- Oh have I said that I’m going home?

I don’t have much planned for Carla’s stay but I’m sure I can recommend a few spots that she can visit/see since I won’t be with her the whole time – I have to work this afternoon and tomorrow I’m resting my poor legs for the run on Sunday.

She has the Castle sitting gorgeous and majestic on the rock overlooking the city, the Royal Mile linking said Castle to Holyrood Palace, passing by the Scottish Parliament. There’s Carlton Hill, which I have told her not to do without me as it can be quite steep in parts and I’d rather go up there on Monday and help her up and maybe buffer her way down! There’s the New Town, the Old Town, there’s the museums that are worth the visit. Nothing planned but plenty to do and visit. She can even get one of the open top buses to go around town and even down to the Royal Britannia by Ocean Terminal.

I’ll see her early afternoon and then send her on her way while I do a bit of work. And I have to do the same now although the view out of the window is too nice to focus too much on emails and systems. Oh well, the things I do for a trip to Edinburgh!

Long weekend coming up!

[mermaid017]

Anyone got a spare throat?

Wednesday, 22nd May 2019

This morning I woke up with a very sore throat. To tell you the truth, I went to sleep with a slightly sore throat and then spent the next five and a half hours waking up every so often to blinding pain every time I swallowed. At 5h30, I gave up on sleep and decided to just get up and have my breakfast.

My main thought over the last day or so has been: What if I don’t get well enough for Sunday?

This shouldn’t really be on my mind. I have a sore throat and that’s it. There’s no tonsillitis (trust me, I’ve checked my tonsils loads of times), I’ve taken paracetamol and using a spray to numb the pain since this morning and I’m already feeling a bit better. I’ll work from home again tomorrow and then catch the train to Edinburgh on Friday morning.

And then on Sunday, I will have fun in the rain in Edinburgh while running my half-marathon. I’m not too concerned about the weather, I’ll run no matter what weather. I just need to pack a lot of dry kit for after the race and a few layers for the duration. Won’t be the female version of the Michelin Man but maybe its younger sister. I would prefer not to have a Raynaud’s attack during the race, please!

Tomorrow evening, I will pack my bags - yes, I’m packing 2, mostly because of the running and dry kit! - and then I’ll be ready for my very early start on Friday morning. Train to Edinburgh is at 7am so that will mean I’ll be jumping out of bed while others are still fast asleep to get to King’s Cross with at least 20 minutes to spare. I have my tickets printed and ready to go so it’s literally a matter of arriving, checking the platform and getting comfortable in my seat. Then, 4 and a bit hours later, I will get off at Edinburgh Waverley. 

I will most likely smile as I get out of the station and make my way to the Novotel, where we’ll be staying for the night. I will smile as I see the castle and remember the first time I took the bus from the Dalmahoy to city and saw where the castle was. Why? Because I got off the bus and called my mum to tell her or shout at her that the Edinburgh castle was just there, in front of me! This still one of my favourite Edinburgh memories.

So, going to rest up, drink lots of fluids and get in top shape for Sunday! But just in case, does anyone have a spare throat?

[mermaid017]

Weird Dream!

Tuesday, 21st May 2019

I think I may be obsessing with the half-marathon on Sunday. It’s not really like it’s the only thing on my mind, I have work to focus on most of the day, looking forward to catching up with friends when I’m in Edinburgh, seeing my Titi Carla and showing her a bit of my favourite city. Then, there’s the wedding to go to the following week.

So, what makes me say that I may be obsessing with the half-marathon?

Picture this: I don’t remember my dreams, (barely) EVER! I go to sleep at night, toss and turn in bed and wake up in the morning not knowing what my brain spent the last 6-8 hours doing because there’s no vivid recollection of any of it. I don’t wake up with sort of happy, sad, warm, cold feeling from the night before. Nothing, nada, zilches!

There may have been the odd occasion when I’ve woke up from a nightmare, like the one time I dreamt that my mum had died and refused to call her just in case. After it happened, and maybe even at the time, I thought it was a stupid thing because I knew that someone would have called me to give me the bad news. But it was a horrible feeling I had that I didn’t want to come true. I later found out that I had woken up from my nightmare more or less at the same time that my middle cousin had had a bad accident that nearly killed him. 

Keeping in mind that I barely remember my dreams, imagine waking up yesterday morning and, at the sight of my Edinburgh Half-Marathon envelope, which is looking neatly on my bedside table, going: What the heck was that dream about?

It wasn’t a bad dream or a nightmare but, for once, I do remember what I dreamt. I was running in Edinburgh - I guess, since I don’t remember streets or faces or signs - and suddenly noticed that I didn’t have my race number on me and I was going to be sad and disappointed because I wouldn’t have a result at the end of the race. The time chip for the race is on my number that is meant to be pinned to my top, hence the sadness.

It’s very weird, why would I remember that and not other dreams? I’m sure I’ve dreamt about mum or a holiday I’ve been on or am going soon - dream about the beaches, not the destruction of the hurricane, woman. Don’t go giving your brain any more ideas!! - so why can’t I remember those dreams? Why do I need to recall that silly situation when I know I will have my race number on me? 

That better not turn into one of those deja vu situations, when my race number is going to fall off in slow motion and I’ll go: ohhhhh noooooo, thhhheeeeeee dddddrreeeeaaaaaammmmm! as I fall on Edinburgh’s cobbled streets! 

Oh I have a very weird imagination! 

All is let to say is: my dear brain, smarten up! Either you give me a good dream to remember or keep it as normal and don’t leave me any memories for when I wake up in the morning! Thank you!

[mermaid017]

Work in progress!

Monday, 20th May 2019

Last night, I was looking for something to watch on Netflix and I looked for The Blind Side. It’s a film with Sandra Bullock about an African American kid adopted by a white family and their life together as he grows to be a great American football player.

As I was searching for the film by name, I saw that Coach Carter is now available, which is one of my favourite sports films. Needless to say that he Blind Side will have to wait for another day or evening. I had Coach Carter on DVD and hadn’t watched it for a while.

The film is not very recent but the story it depicts will always ring true, unless life struggles ever come to an end. One of the reasons why I like it so much is because it’s a true story and that makes it a great film - nothing to do with the fact that the main character is played by the great Samuel L. Jackson. 

Coach Carter tells you the story of a basketball coach invested in making his player’s lives better as human beings, athletes and, on top of it all, students. For the majority of the film, he’s fighting a losing battle because everyone around him just think that the team is undefeated (because of him) and that the kids will come to nothing if there’s no basketball.

He goes to the point of cancelling games and locking up the gym to force the players to wake up and do some studying. And he succeeds in making this players turn into better students and therefore, better players and have a future. Not as felons or unemployed people or worse, end up dead but, as college students and people with a future after high school.

I love films with deep messages and this one does have my favourite movie quote from all times - I still tear up when I hear it! Coach Carter keeps asking one of his players, Timo Cruz, what is his biggest fear, over and over again. Towards the end of the film, Timo stands up and says: 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

This is my favourite quote because it’s very true and I like to think of it in my life. I shouldn’t play myself small, I should be confident in what I can do, in who I am and show that to the outside world. It’s not easy but I’m a work in progress!

So, do me a favour, SHINE!

[mermaid017]

Sunday training!

Sunday, 19th May 2019

For most people, Sundays are normally that day of the week when they have a lazy and late start, don’t worry about alarms or plans early in the morning. I haven’t had one of those in a very long time and I don’t think I would know how to cope with that.

When I moved to London (I’m trying to remember how long ago I’ve been here) in 2011 (it’s a cop out but at least I don’t have to use that one grey cell left in my brain), I joined a rowing club about 4 months in and from that point on and for about 5 years, Sundays were always rowing mornings, which mean no lie in.

You could think that, with no rowing, I would turn into a slob and sleep till noon but I can assure you that hasn’t happened. When I was a rower, I loved the feeling of having the rest of the day left once I finished the training. OK, I admit that sometimes all the rest of the day involved was a long shower, a nap and maybe slouching on the couch for the rest of the day. Trust me, about a double session on the Thames, you learn to appreciate it! I sometimes would go straight to the city centre and meet a friend for lunch but, why kid myself, most days, I would just come home and crash.

I had signed up as a barcode scanner for this morning’s Junior Parkrun at Acton so I had an early breakfast and then walked for about 30 minutes to the park. It’s always a slow build up, with volunteers turning up in dribs and drabs. To be fair, majority are parents of the kids running so they tend to come along with the children. Run done - those kids are fast -, I handed over my high vis vest, did my asthma inhaler, wrapped my hoodie around my waist and off I went for my long run.

I made a strategic detour by the flat so I could drop off my inhaler and my hoodie. I could have taken the inhaler with me but I knew the hoodie would do my head in, as it would start to slip, knots would become undone and I didn’t want to throw my GAP hoodie away.

Quick upstairs and downstairs and I carried on as I still had 13km out of 16 to complete. I made it down to the river, past Kew Bridge and then along the water. Although the path there is made up mostly of gravel, the rower in me loves the scenery with the odd rowing crew and launch passing by. I always say: once a rower, always a rower; and it’s true. I still have the calling of the Thames that has some sort of power over me.

At 10km, I turned around and headed back the same way I had come. I would have preferred to have run a bit further and then come back along Kew Gardens but that would have added another 3 or 4km to my already long run so I just turned around. It’s very busy around Kew Gardens anyway with all of the people making their in and people aren’t that considerate to runners, they just queue everywhere.

At 13km, I started to get cold. Today wasn’t a particularly hot day and with the top getting sweaty, I started to feel my body temperature drop. I gave it another km and then I stopped the run. I was feeling overly tired and, although I could have done another 2km, I knew it was best to leave it at that and just walk back to the house. I’m not sad or disappointed that I didn’t do the distance I had initially planned, sometimes you need to adapt to the circumstances. It was still a great run and I know I’ll run the half-marathon in a week’s time! I will own that half-marathon!

I won’t do much running this week, I have one planned for Tuesday or Wednesday and around that, I’ll do some stretching.

Things got even more real yesterday when I got home to my race pack, with my number! I know I’m running it, I’ve known it since I agreed to do it and even before I registered but, seeing the number with my (official) name on it, made it a thousand time more real! Can’t and won’t back down!

Sunday 26th May 2019, Edinburgh Half-Marathon, I’m coming to get you! 

[mermaid017]

Weekend is here!

Friday, 17th May 2019

Weekend is here! I didn’t have time or will to write anything earlier today, which is why this post is coming later than normal.

It’s been a busy week and I think I spent it on a high since I did the speech on Monday at the office. Even today, someone told me that they thought I did a great job, some even said it was better than the people that followed me during our afternoon presentations. Well, I take that and shall run with it!

Speaking of running!! Tomorrow is Saturday and that means it’s Parkrun day! 

I’ve signed up to do the first timers briefing again so that will be my third time since I’ve started to volunteer. I always try to help with roles that allow me to run or at least count towards a run. Gunnersbury, my local parkrun, has a lot of roles, given the number of runners that turn up every week.

This means that I do first timers briefing, tail walking or token sorting, although I’ve only that the sorting once. It was a cool experience because I got to meet people from my local running club and have a chat while sorting out 680+ token with the finishers numbers and barcodes. The people that were helping out were seasoned token sorters so they showed me their way of doing it and it worked out very smoothly and quickly.

I’ve also done the run report a couple of times and may do it again in the future. I have, as you’ve noticed, no issues with writing about any subject! 

I’ve recently started to volunteer at the Junior Parkrun on Sundays, as well. While adults and kids can run a 5k on Saturday mornings, the Junior parkrun on Sundays is for kids between ages of 4 and 14 to run, walk, jog a 2k course. My local one is in Acton Common and a few weeks ago, there were looking for volunteers so I went to help. There weren’t that many kids, which is actually irrelevant in terms of volunteers because you still need a race director, marshals to make sure the kids are ok around the course, someone to hand out the finish tokens, someone to scan the bar codes. Oh and they even have someone to do the warm up! Maybe that’s a role that we need at the Saturday Parkrun.

The Junior Parkrun becomes very competitive with the parents. Normally, both parents and kids run together with just the kids finishing. They hover around the finish line and they shout at the kids to sprint for the finish line! I was giving out the tokens once and one of the kids almost flew into me because he was running so fast that he couldn’t stop himself in time.

This will also be the last weekend before my Edinburgh Half debut, with a long run on Sunday! I’ll tell you more about it on Monday!

Time to put my feet up and visualise my run tomorrow! I’ve missed my local Parkrun!

[mermaid017]

How is it mid May already!

Thursday, 16th May 2019

This is going to sound like a cliche but how is it already the second half of May? Just yesterday, I was getting on a plane from Luxembourg at the start of the year! Oh wait, that was also a week and a half ago... Maybe that’s where it’s all confusing!

Now, seriously, time is going by way too quickly! Soon, I’ll be on a train to Edinburgh for my half marathon weekend, which will also be my Titi Carla’s first time there. Then back to London for a couple of days, just before I head to Portugal for Xinha’s wedding. I have a long weekend there, see my dad, put on a dress and pretend to be all girly... Oh well...

After that, I come back to London just for a few days as the following weekend it’s the Edinburgh Moonwalk. I missed it last year as Uncle Steve was off on a cruise to celebrate his wedding anniversary and I didn’t want to volunteer with anyone else. So that meant that I didn’t go to either Moonwalk last year!

One of the girls from my Step Up group messaged me last night as she’s signed up to the Moonwalk as a volunteer but hasn’t heard back from them. As the person who had recruited her (along with everyone in our group), she wondered if it was normal for her not to have heard anything from them. Quick email last night to WalkTheWalk and I’m waiting to hear back from them.

It’s going to be so great to have her in our group, she’s soooo excited about being part of it! I’ve asked her how she feels about hugs as not everyone is a hugger and her answer was the best one I could expect: The more, the better! Spread the love! She may be a WTW novice but she will fit right in! 

There are also meant to be some girls from our Glasgow hotels walking but I haven’t check in with them to find out if they are doing it. It would be amazing to see them there and be able to cheer them on. I have mentioned that I’ll let them know where I’ll be so that they can spot me. It’s easier to be spotted in my oversized, XXL orange top than to try to find people I know in a sea of men and women!

It’s scary to say that I don’t have any travel plans after that till late August when I go to Edinburgh for the Festival... OH MY GOODNESS!!! What has happened to me? I used to have more trips than weekends and now nothing for a month and a half? I guess I’ll just have to keep myself busy with Saturday parkuns then and try to get my 50 parkruns this year so I can get a t-shirt... Although I’m not sure I’ll have enough Saturdays from now till the end of the year - I know, there are enough weekends till then but I have saturdays when I’m not running, like the 3 weeks between the Edinburgh Half and the Moonwalk weekend (between you and I, I am thinking of doing Parkrun on the Saturday of the Moonwalk :-)).

Is it November yet? I do want to go on my long holiday!!! #Mozambique2019!

[mermaid017]

You may not move on, you do move forward!

Wednesday 15th May 2019

We all know that Facebook has a way, with its algorithms, to track what you’re watching and what you like and dislike. In my case, it has now picked up that I like Ted Talks, which 100% correct and fine by me. If it could pick up on the fact that I like a lot of money to go travelling and if Mark Z. could do something about it, I would appreciate it even more! 

This morning, I was watching a video on FB and the next one was a short Ted Talk video from a lady called Nora McInerny. The video was 4 minutes long, called We don’t move on from grief, we move forward with it.

I love Ted Talks because they are so inspiring. Maybe I’ve been lucky with the ones I’ve watched so far since there hasn’t been one that I just thought I was wasting my time watching it.

In her talk, Nora tells us how 2014 was the most horrible year for her, when, in the space of a year, she lost her unborn child, her dad and then her husband. Fast forward 4 years to 2018, she tells the audience that she’s happily remarried and, along with her new husband, they have 4 kids from both families.

There are a few points that Nora makes in the 4 minutes video (there’s a longer one that is 15 minutes long but I haven’t watched it yet), like you will laugh again after your loss, life doesn’t end there and then. But, for me, the main point that I got out of listening to her and I agree 100%, is that you don’t move on from losing someone in your life, you move forward with them. Or maybe they move forward with you...

She mentions how she refers to Aaron, her first husband, in the present tense, how he’s in the child they had together, in the 3 other children that came into her life when she remarried, how he’s helped her become the woman that Matthew, her new husband, wanted to marry. He hasn’t gone away, he’s everywhere.

And that’s so true. I’m not going into detail of how it applies to me, that’s not the point here. The point is that it’s OK to laugh after loss, it’s OK to be happy again and live your own life.

You may not move on, you do move forward!

[mermaid017]

Vulnerable but I was OK with that!

Tuesday, 14th May 2019

Yesterday could have been an awful day. Maybe I’m being overly dramatic, it’s just that I didn’t start on the best foot.

I woke up tired, which isn’t the best way to start your week, trust me. I could feel my body aching as I got out of bed and all I kept thinking was: why didn’t I say no to the speech and just work from home?? That would have been the sensible thing to say but since when do I even use that word?

I did my normal morning routine of breakfast, shower, get dressed and go to work. Stop by the fridge to pick up some of the Thai green curry I had cooked on Saturday and saved for yesterday’s lunch and off I went to work. So far, so good, day is nice outside with the sun shinning. 

Fast forward slightly to my arrival to the office, go to the kitchen to put my yummy lunch in the fridge, say good morning to a couple of my colleagues on the way, walk up to my desk, unzip my backpack to get my laptop out, zip my bag again with a curse word in the mix and head back home. I had left my laptop at home. I had seen it before I left the house but I was so focused on getting my lunch out of the fridge and the speech in the afternoon that I had forgotten the tool I need to do my work.

There was only one thing to do, head back to the flat and collect my laptop. I decided that I wasn’t going to let that frazzle me. I got home and took my time before heading back to the office. I did some of my emails and then I went back post peak time, saving me the grand quantity of £0.20!! Every penny counts!

I spent most of the time after going through what I was going to say in the afternoon and reminding myself that I was going to be OK no matter the turn out. Just before 2:30pm, I headed to the lounge and I could hear a couple of my colleagues shepherding people to follow. You may think I’m exaggerating, trust me, I’m not! Sometimes, it’s painful trying to get people away from their screens to listen to people talking.

There were about 20-30 people in the lounge, a small crowd still big enough to make my heart race. Thomas, our CEO, made his speech about what the week ahead and what we can expect and then he introduced me.

I could feel my heart race as I knew he was wrapping up, my hands started to sweat and I took a deep breath and just went for it. I’m not sure how long I spoke for, probably less than 10 minutes. I made sure I didn’t speak too fast, I looked around the room, got some smiles and reassuring nods in response and I even made a joke or two - especially even before I started to tell my story when I got asked if I wanted a microphone. My sarcastic brain kicked in and I said: best not or I’ll start my Barbra Streisand impersonation and no one needs to hear that. Not that I can sing but I’m sure I could pull a couple of Hello Dollys to please the crowd. Or to show them how to empty a room very quickly.

I’m glad I did it, it’s given me the confidence that I can do this, I just need to get more and more used to it. I was vulnerable, no real safety net around me and I feel I came out stronger for it. 

Quite a few colleagues told me that I did a great job, either in person or via our internal messaging system. It was so nice that they were taking the time to give me feedback and that put a smile on my face for the rest of the day!

The last speakers were Zina Sultana and Cherie Kong-Colucci. They are international award winning speakers and they came to talk about women Empowerment & Gender Equality. It was great to listen to Cherie’s story, how she’s started as a management training and grew to where she is now. Zina and Cherie talked about the work that needs to be done for women to be at the same playing level as men. At one point, I think one of the men thought that they were listening to a feminine speech when that’s not the point. The point is that men have been boosted so much for so long that a lot of work needs to be done so that women can catch up. 

The funny thing is that Cherie had a slide on her presentation from Brené Brown’s Netflix show and I told her that I had written my blog for yesterday’s post and had mentioned the exact same show. Small world! Or great minds think alike!

So, now it’s back to reality! Need to get back to my half marathon training which didn’t happen this weekend, although I did walk a fair bit overnight. I’m not worried, I know I can do it, I just want to do a bit more training so that I’m even better prepared!

For now, the main thing so far this week is that I was vulnerable and I was OK with that!

[mermaid017]

So, let’s Step it Up and be vulnerable!

Monday, 13th May 2019

Sometimes I’ll go through the TV channels, BBC iPlayer, Catch-up All 4, Netflix and I feel like there’s nothing I want to watch. And then there are days that you stumble upon something that you wouldn’t go looking for and you surprise yourself.

When I was in Luxembourg, during one of my lunch breaks, I sat on the couch in the living room, with Heli as my company and I was looking through Netflix on the big TV at my aunt’s place and I saw the little image of Brené Brown: The Call to Courage. My sarcastic self almost kicked in and thought: oh no, not another one of those shows, where you have someone trying to brainwash you and pumping you up. But I fought those thoughts and decided to give it a go.

I was reading the book from Ben Hunt-Davis so I was receptive to trying something new and to see what it was all about. I didn’t have time to watch the whole thing in one go since I had already started it halfway through my lunch hour so I watched as much as I could last Monday and then finished it on Friday, already back in London. 

The show is almost 1h17 long and it flies by very quickly, which is another way to say that I really enjoyed it. Brené has a very fun and chilled way to talk about life and her what she has learnt from years of researching vulnerability, shame among other topics. I think I first saw Brené on TedxHouston’s Power of vulnerability, which she is mentions during the Netlfix show or maybe it was from her book Daring Greatly. Nowadays I don’t know if I’ve read the book already or heard about it and haven’t got round to reading it. 

Like most people, I could related to what Brené was saying in her show especially about not letting yourself be vulnerable or not wanting to show vulnerability. It’s easier to keep the shield up and not have to feel pain than to open yourself and feel exposed.

I’m an introvert extrovert, I’ll admit that quite easily. I love to have a laugh, make other people laugh but I appreciate my space, I like to be alone and definitely not be the centre of attention. To this day, and I’m 40 years old, I don’t know how to deal with compliments, be it about my appearance or for doing a good job. Maybe because I don’t get them enough or because I don’t believe I am or I have done anything special or out of the ordinary. As soon as someone tries to give me a compliment, they are met with some sarcastic comment or remark, to the point that someone has repeatedly said: just shut up and accept it! OK, OK, I get it! (no, I really don’t but I can’t say that out loud or I’ll get knocked on the head or something!).

I have decided, though, to let myself be more vulnerable, to let people in because I can’t keep hiding within myself. 

So, today, Monday 13th May, I’m going to be at my most vulnerable! 

At work, we’re doing a week of inclusion, equality and diversity and I’ve been asked to be a speaker at this afternoon’s event. We will have our CEO and our Learning and Development Director doing something like an intro speech. There will also be Cherie Kong-Colucci, who will coming to speak about women Empowerment & Gender Equality. And then me in between... I’m not sure I know what I got myself into, I have never spoken to a group bigger than 15 people, unless we’re considering my school plays as a kid but in that case the audience was always in darkness and I think I’ve suppressed all of those memories.

I will be talking about my participation Step Up, which is a training course that Accor provides for women who want to, as the name says, Step up for themselves! I think I have what I’m going to say figured out, I just need to step up and talk! And trust me, I can talk! Need to keep it concise, rational and maybe even fun(ny). If I don’t pass out till then, that is!

So, let’s Step it Up and be vulnerable!

[mermaid017]

Moonwalk London 2019! DONE!

Sunday 12th May 2019

It’s the morning after, or should I say, the afternoon post London Moonwalk. It’s now 14:30 and I woke up only a few minutes ago.

I got home at 7:30 on the dot, which was the best prediction of getting home EVER!

Let me tell you about my 2019 London Moonwalk! I wanted to arrive at the Moonwalk City in Clapham Common at 7:3pm at the latest and I didn’t make it by then. I faffed a bit too much before leaving the house, which meant that I didn’t make it to the Common till nearer to 8pm. It wasn’t all bad, I did manage to get some early hugs from Sara, Muvver, Favver, Andy and Carol (and Carol’s friend, who’s name escapes me). The gorgeous pink tent was there, in front of us in all its glory, awaiting us! After a couple of tight hugs and a few “see you out there for some more”, we parted ways and I went to the Volunteer side of the City to meet my Uncle Steve.

Once in, I managed a couple more hugs from Caz and Joel, who surprised everyone since he kept saying that he hadn’t found a volunteer role that interested him. Glad he turned up! And Caz!! Got to love those pink, furry leg warmers! They are an institution on their own!!

Another hug on the way into the volunteer tent from Collette!

Got my gear and called Steve to see where he was! Tracked him down to find him speaking to Ali and Garry Coulson. I looked away for a second and when I looked back, the 3 were going in all different directions! I literally shouted: OI!!! Where do you think you’re going? Garry gave Steve away immediately saying it was all his idea! Great throw under the bus there! 

A few more hugs and we got to see Debbie Coulson and her daughter in law who was going to do the Moonwalk for the first time! And then it was time to go to the volunteers’ tent to get ourselves organised. We’ve been doing the zone leader role for 7 years as a team so we know what we’re doing most of the time. We got our zone map out, our list of volunteers and devised our different plans. After Wetinbra 2012, where we were supposed to have 14 volunteers and only 2 turned up, we are ready for any challenge that WalkTheWalk throw at us. We had a plan for the case we had all of the volunteers turning up, in case of half coming, of only some of them. We didn’t have a plan for the case of none of them showing up because Becca was on her way! I’m not sure we couldn’t have done the job with just the 3 of us but you know what, we would have done a fine job! That’s how much I trust in our abilities! But we didn’t have to worry!

Well, I did worry! We walked over to our assigned Zone 13 area and, from the list of 20 that I had, there were only 2 in our area. It was looking a bit thin but it was still a bit early. In the end, by the time we left the Moonwalk City, we had enough volunteers to cover most of our volunteer points! They came in dribs and drabs and all of them with great spirits!

Arriving later than planned did mean that I didn’t have a chance to hug my lovely JoJo and give her the tea bags of my favourite tea in person. Instead, I gave them to Sarah, the director of volunteers, who must have thought I was off my nut! Well, I am a WTW volunteer so being off my nut is a given! I’ve literally just got confirmation that the little parcel has been received so my instructions weren’t that crazy and Sarah didn’t contact the bomb disposal unit to get rid of the bag with the tea!

We did our briefing to the team and then we had 10 minutes to get ourselves organised. For Steve and I, that always means to work out which of our plans we’ll put in place and where we would assign each of the volunteers. The plan is always a very flexible on because we never really know what the zone looks like till we get there.

21:35 on the dot, we left the Moonwalk City to head to our bus. We should call it our mystery tour bus since it took us on the longest bus ride between Clapham Common. I didn’t know they included tours on the Moonwalk - minus the guide, obviously. At one point, Becca, Steve and I were wondering if the drive even knew where we were going and if he knew that we were actually needed around the Mall for an event? Steve’s regret was that he didn’t know it was going to take that long to get to our destination or he would have a kip for an hour! That’s how long it took us to get there! We were so close at one stage that we could have got off the bus and walked up to our zone. But we made it!

As we were getting everyone in position, I noticed that there was a girl in our group that I hadn’t met before but given that we were walking in a bit of a touristy place (we were around Buckingham Palace after all), I just thought she was walking with us for safety in numbers. She had her head in her phone the whole time... Finally, I took a good look at her and noticed that she had a volunteer’s T-shirt under her coat! So, she was one of our volunteers and she had arrived late but hadn’t thought about saying anything. I was just happy that we had another volunteer in our group!

There was some confusion with the toilets in our zone - yes, we had toilets! No rushing to the closest hotel or cafe, no portaloos either! Proper toilets!! - where Steve and I thought that we had to manage the queues but there was an actual team doing it. We just ended up deploying our volunteers somewhere else to then redeploying them again when the Team Leader of the zone 12 Toilets informed us that the first marshal point - which for us was optional - wasn’t properly signed and she wasn’t sure that the walkers would know what to do once they got up the Houseguard Parade. Becca and Amanda were the poor devils that got moved twice and they just took it in their stride. I love volunteers like that, just tell us where you want us kind of attitude!

We managed to see a few of our friends, walk up and down our zone. I’ve just looked at my Garmin and, from midnight, I have walked 13km. That’s including the walk to the tube, around Holborn station and then from the station to my bed but still!

One of the highlights of the night was Victor’s visit with hot chocolate for Steve and mint tea for me! Victor is a fellow (former) volunteer who always stops by our zone with sweets for the walkers and a hug and takes photos of the evening. That tea kept me warm for a while and it was a blessing in a not so cold night! So, thank you, Victor! Same time next year? 

We finished the morning around the expected time, following the last few walkers as they passed our zone and picking up any litter along the way. I have to say, this is maybe the first year that the place didn’t look like a war zone with empty bottles, gel sachets, feathers and glo sticks around the place. We picked up a few things but nothing like in previous years. There were rubbish vans collecting bags in certain points so that also helped.

We said goodbye to our volunteers, mostly going home instead of the Moonwalk City. I gave my traditional We did it again hug to Uncle Steve and Becca and I made our way to Hyde Park tube station, where we also parted ways. I couldn’t get on the same tube as Becca due to logistics issues so I headed in the opposite direction to Holborn and then on the Central line home. I literally put the key in the door at 7:29am! And I had said that I had hoped to be home by 7:30! BOOM!! Best timing EVER!

Managed to eat some breakfast and then slept for a few hours, looked at my watch at 12pm and turned to the other side! Now, I’m sort of wide awake, have a sore body and a sore head. And you know what, I’ll be doing exactly the same in less than 4 weeks in Edinburgh and I’ll happy be in the same state then! We still don’t know where we’ll be but whatever WTW throw at us, we will handle it all with a smile!

Thank you to our volunteers for a wonderful night, great feedback to pass onto WTW, for handling your roles with a smile and helping our walkers have a great night! Thank you for Uncle Steve for our jokes, our hopping around like kids, our chats during the night that help us keep going, our hugs! Moonwalk without you isn’t the same! Thank you to the thousand of walkers who took on the challenge of walking either a half-marathon or a full marathon to raise money and awareness to the fight against breast cancer!

I’m off to relax for the rest of the day! Oh what a wonderful night!

[mermaid017]

Guess what? It’s Moonwalk weekend again!

Saturday, 11th May 2019

Normally, on a Saturday morning, I post a photograph from the pond in Gunnersbury Park on my way to Parkrun and the text under is states: Saturday mornings are parkrun mornings. That hasn’t been the case for the last 2 weeks and it also won’t be the case today.

I’ve booked a cookery course at the Good Housekeeping Institute Cookery in central London to learn how to make a few Thai dishes. Becca had done the same course a couple of months ago as a Christmas present and it sounded amazing when she told me about it.

Thai is one of my favourite food since I have had to change the way I approach food so I’m really looking forward to learning how to make Thai Fish Cakes, Pad Thai, Thai Green Curry, Sticky Jasmine Rice. Yum, Yum, Yum!

After the course, I will be heading home to have some of my cooked food - hopefully with no hint of food poisoning - and a rest. Not that I’m going to be lazy, it’s just that it’s Moonwalk weekend! I’ll be heading to Moonwalk City, the big pink tent at Clapham Common to meet my Uncle Steve before we’re actually due to be there so that we can see some of our friends who will also be volunteering and before the madness starts.

It will be great to go back after being away last year as I made the (not so easy) decision to go up North to be there for a friend who was going through a hard time. I’m looking forward to my hugs, to catch up with my Uncle Steve, crack some jokes (mainly at his expense) and then go out to our zone for the night. I don’t know how long we’ll actually be on our feet because it all depends on how slow the slowest walker will be. Not that it really matters! The main thing is that we’ll be there for all of the walkers, making sure that they make it through our zone safely and we send them on their way to the next zone.

I’ll probably catch up with my bed around 7:30-8am after I get home and have some breakfast. The main goal after getting on the tube at Green Park is that I don’t fall asleep on the tube and end up missing my stop. It could be tricky and have to find my way back from Uxbridge or Rayner’s Lane. I’d rather not go that far on the tube line or I could fall back to sleep on my way back and then end up in Cockfosters, the other end of the line. You can see where I’m going with this.

Since Becca is also volunteering in our zone, we’ll come back together and then probably end up messaging each other the rest of the way till we’re both home! That’s the plan, let’s see what will happen!

[mermaid017]

Where is my Ceviche!!!

Friday, 10th May 2019

I’m normally a very foodie kind of person. I like food like anyone else but I don’t tend to have a watering mouth when I think of a certain food. I’m definitely not like a friend of mine who can tell you what she ate on a specific trip in the same way a non foodie person would tell you what they visited instead.

Yesterday, I went to say goodbye to someone who’s been my company’s account manager for a specific company. We’ve worked together for a couple of years and she’s decided to pack in her job and go travelling for a few months. We became friends through our passion for travelling and easy sense of humour so when she told me that she was leaving, we arranged for one last catch up as work friends. 

I like going to their offices because I get to see all the lovely people there and I end up being a bit of an attraction - I don’t think that they get many visitors - and everyone wants to say hi and see how I’m doing. It’s a very friendly and informal environment and I always have a laugh. After saying hi to my usual contacts and talking about my last trip and my next trip, we went downstairs to the cafe for a chat before I had to go back to the office.

We’ll see each other soon, we both hope, as she’ll be coming back to London regularly while she travels. As we said goodbye (or see you later in our case), she said she would send me photos of food, namely ceviche! 

Remember I’m not a foodie?? Well, I can tell you that I haven’t stopped thinking about my 2 holidays in Mexico  and how much ceviche I ate. I can almost close my eyes and taste the prawn ceviche that I ate there. To the point that I’ve been googling - no, not flights to Mexico, mostly because I don’t have any holiday allocation left - places in London that do ceviche.

There are a few options that come up but they aren’t the same kind of ceviche that I ate there. They all look very stylish with tiger milk and other stuff. I want the plain, normal ceviche con todo picado and topotos and not the posh food the websites have on display! I think I need to find something soon or I’ll go crazy thinking about it!!!

GIVE ME SOME CEVICHE!!!!!

[mermaid017]

Reading...

Thursday, 9th May 2019

Reading doesn’t always come easy to me. Yes, I can read when I’m away, be that in Portugal in the summer on holidays or when I go to Carla’s for a few days or even when I’m travelling somewhere for business. It’s just that, while I’m home, it doesn’t happen as easily.

I always ask for books for Christmas. It’s a tradition that my godmother asks me for at least one suggestion and she’ll get it for me. 

I like to read in the author’s original language, which is something I picked up from my translation degree days. Whenever I read a book that has been translated, I tend to scrutinise it so much that I end up losing interest in it so I prefer to stick to books in the language that the author wrote them. My godmother gets me a book in Portuguese and I get books in French during my trips either to Paris or to Luxembourg. 

I still have at least a book in Spanish from rowing camp 4 years ago that is gathering dust in my book shelf ever since. It’s not that I don’t want to read the book, I just lose my concentration very easily. 

It all started since mum died and my concentration just hasn’t the same. I’d find myself having to focus on the same page for 10 minutes, to go over the same sentence so many times and it would still not make any sense. Slowly, I stopped trying and books started to pile up.

Before I went to Luxembourg, I promised myself I would come back having read at least 1 book. I had less than 2 week to do it and it’s normally plenty of time. 

I had started the book a couple of years ago when we got it at work. The name of the book is Will it make the boat go faster? by Ben Hunt-Davis and Harriet Beveridge and we got it after a presentation made by our company’s CEO. When I first saw the book, I was very excited as Ben is a former rower and I knew the topic would interest me. I even started to read it just a day or so after we got it but the way the book was written quickly became too much for me to get really into it. 

Every chapter is split into 2 parts with Ben telling the reader a bit about of the journey of the 8+ British crew that won the 2000 Sydney Olympics in the first part and, in the second part, Harriet breaks it down into the learnings that the crew had and how to apply it in real life. I guess you could say I panicked and started to imagine that I had to do some sort of introspection into my life and I wasn’t ready for that. The result? I put the book down and away.

I finished the book on Monday night! Go me! Well, it was more on Tuesday at 3.30am since I couldn’t sleep and I thought I may as well finish the book and keep my promise to myself. I enjoyed the book and I even got some lessons out of it that I’ll take with me.

So, I’ve chosen my next book which is also one that I’ve started a month or so ago but had set aside. Not because I didn’t like it, I just wasn’t in the right state of mind yet to focus on it. I’m reading The Tattooist of Auschwitz. And I can tell you that I’ll finish reading it before I fly to Portugal on 30th May! After that, I’ll alternate between styles and languages so I can keep my mind busy and active with the right kind of stuff!