I've been having some stupid ass health problems and have zero motivation to write. I'm really hate this. I'm in constant pain except for when I have weed, but then I'm just high all the time? The fuck is that about. I see a specialist in a month-the soonest appointment they had- and I'm exhausted by the daily pain already.
The short of it is, TMJ issues lead to vertigo.
I hope they can just replace my entire jaw with a bionic one.
I am just so tired of not having the energy to be productive.
hi! i never do stuff like this, but i would be very grateful if y’all take these polls i made abt sebastian’s looks, i want to make some sets based on them and i can only decide like 5. i’ve made one with his characters, here, and one irl, here. you can pick several options from each, and i’ll make sets of the top ten in each category. signal boosting is appreciated!
I have the opposite of a daddy kink, it's a real cringe for me. Having said that, I would call Henry daddy in a heartbeat if he wanted. I've never experienced anything as strongly as how much he exemplifies daddy.
During his interview with 60 Minutes, Trump had Baghdad Barbie (Kayleigh McEnany) present Lesley Stahl with an oversized, 10 inch, hard bound book on his health care polices. It was so big and heavy, Stahl had difficulty holding it. I guess Trump thought 60 minutes would simply judge the book by its cover and never open it, but …. (checks notes) … they did, revealing it was empty, full of blank pages.
Trump’s bungling continued as he just posted photographs of the stunt to his own twitter account.
Dumbest grifters — evah.
At least now we know why Trump stormed out of his interview.
Stahl opened the book.
She.
Opened.
The.
Book.
Trump went through the expense of having a thick book bound… of blank paper.
Then handed it to a reporter. Not Hannity. Not Tucker. Not Ingraham. Not Bartiromo.
A reporter.
Trump’s been living in fantasyland for so long he’s forgotten that people in the real world don’t reflexively believe the shit he says.
If you read the snopes article there are some facts I want to point out.
The book is said to be 2500 pages. They call it his “health care plan”
The PDF released by the white house claiming to be the contents of the book, is 512 pages.
The PDF is not a proposal for healthcare, it is a copy of 13 executive orders and 11 “other pieces of legislation” enacted under the 45th president. The same paragraph says that is every bit of healthcare he has signed.
“On top were pages…” Implies that it was separate, and there does seem to be a skinny little book she’s holding under the big one, when they mention his plan for the future. I’d say it’s 50-75 pages.
So they padded the look of the pages by almost 500% and claimed it was a health care plan, when in fact it is a copy of all the things he’s done to try and repeal or damage the ACA.
Look, it’s not entirely blank. Just horrendously padded. It’s not a health care plan, it’s the list of ways he’s tried to kill people by removing health care. This entire thing… Look if locking him in a room and swearing at him would make things work better I’d yell at him until my body gave out on me. Go vote for someone whos supporters don’t fly the Nazi flag.
😩😩😩😩 I love him so much. Oh my body, it aches. This con was such a fucking look. Jesus what a whole fucking meal. I pray to the gods that he comes back to the states for a con when it's safe 😩😩😭😭🤞🤞🤞🤞
Thank you for blessing me with these. I needed this badly today.
So, from your list...I feel like 25 and 60 would go well together. I would like some Geralt, please, and throw some Jaskier in there because I immediately thought of him when I saw 25 😂 Make it dirty like you do, my friend 😉 I love you and congratulations 👏
25.Did you leave him unattended?
60. You don't intimidate me.
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"I swear if you leave me out of one more fight, I will fight you," you huffed, storming up to Geralt who was trying Roach to a tree.
"You'll get in the way," Geralt said flatly.
"How many times have I saved your ass?"
"That was luck."
"My MAGIC isn't LUCK, Geralt! Why can't you get that through your thick skull?"
"And why can't you get through yours that I am trying to keep you out of harm's way?"
Before you could respond, Geralt looked around quickly, "did you leave him unattended?"
Knowing Geralt was referring to the bard, you rolled your eyes, "Jaskier is fine. He's back at the camp, napping."
"You should join him," Geralt said.
"You are unbelievable!"
"And you are reckless!" Geralt snapped, pointing a finger in your face, his yellow eyes locked on yours.
"You don't intimidate me," you said, crossing your arms.
"Because you've got something wrong with your head, you don't fear things that are dangerous."
"No, I just don't fear things I can handle."
"Oh, you think you can handle me, do you?"
"In more ways than one, Witcher."
Geralt raised a curious brow at you.
"Now let's get back to camp and make that potion," you said, turning around.
"If you think I'm letting you find that thing yourself…"
You reached into your bag and held up the ekimmara heart for Geralt to see as you walked away. Geralt dropped everything and lunged after you.
"This whole time? You had that THIS WHOLE TIME?" He grabbed your wrist to inspect the organ.
"I told you I can handle myself in a fight, Geralt, but you refuse to believe it. Now unhand me and let's go."
"You infuriate me, mage," Geralt grumbled, climbing up onto Roach.
"I'll meet you back at camp," you said, stepping through the small portal you opened.
-----------
When Geralt returned, you had already set up the ingredients needed for the potion and let Geralt grumpily take over. He was silent the entire time he made the potion, and when he finished, he put the vial in his belt and went inside the tent you set up for yourself, the Witcher and the bard.
You rolled your eyes and followed him, walking into him taking off his armor.
“I thought you said Jaskier was napping,” he said.
“He awoke when I returned and decided to go look for berries, he had a craving,” you replied.
Geralt grunted.
“You know you’re going to have to get over this,” you said.
“Get over what?” he asked, turning to you.
“Whatever problem you have with me that makes you think I’m so frail human that needs your protection.”
“I don’t-” Geralt cut himself off and grunted again, “fuck.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“Are you going to make me say it?” he practically growled.
“Say what, Geralt?”
He huffed and stalked over to you, grabbing your face. Before you could react, his lips were pressed to yours, his hands holding you tenderly. You immediately returned his kiss, quickly holding his head, not wanting the dream to end.
When you finally parted, Geralt studied your face.
“Say what, Geralt,” you breathed, a small smile playing your lips.
Geralt picked you up and threw you over his shoulder; you squealed and laughed as he tossed you onto the makeshift bed on the ground. He stood over you and undressed completely, watching you slowly do the same.
He knelt at your side as you laid back, completely bare, his hands running up and down your soft skin, studying every curve and imperfection.
Your hands did the same, tracing all of his scars and muscles, your fingers following your eyes to his incomprehensible cock. You exhaled slowly as you wrapped a hand around him; he was nearly as thick as your wrist. You gave him a squeeze and Geralt hummed, suddenly moving to kneel between your legs and leaning over nip and suck at your breasts.
You sighed as his hot skin met yours, his broad chest pressed to yours as he kissed you urgently.
You grabbed his shoulders and made him roll with you so you were on top of him, straddling his firm stomach.
Geralt grunted and tried to reach out and touch you again.
"Ah ah," you said, flicking your hand and watching his arms fly up over his head, his wrists suddenly bound with rope.
"You can't be serious," Geralt said, tugging at the restraints and breaking them as quickly as they were on him.
"Mmm I was. I just wanted to see you do that," you said, sliding down to trap his cock against his stomach with your slick cunt.
Geralt groaned and grabbed your hips, sliding you up and down the length of his cock. You cried out as his swollen head nudged your clit over and over, your legs twitching.
"I could probably make you scream without even entering you, hmm?" Geralt said almost to himself, watching you writhe in pleasure atop him.
"Yes!" You cried, gyrating your hips, pushing into him harder.
"Fuck," Geralt spat, his hips bucking as you moved faster.
He reached up to your breasts and tugged at your nipples, then brought one hand up to your neck. He squeezed your throat gently and you screamed his name as you tumbled over the edge, your body shuddering as you came.
Geralt clenched his jaw and cursed, his hips bucking up as you slowed down your movements, your clit circling the crown of his cock. Geralt grabbed your hips again and held you down firmly, his cock pulsing and swelling as he growled. Thick white ribbons of cum painted his heaving chest as you watched; your cunt throbbed and you were desperate to feel him inside you.
"Fuck that was unexpected," Geralt grunted, grabbing a cloth and wiping his chest clean.
You pouted and Geralt chuckled at you, quickly flipping your positions so you were on your back beneath him.
"Does it seem like I'm finished with you, pet?"
You saw his cock still rock hard and you shook your head, squeezing your legs together. Geralt took your legs and spread them wide, diving between them immediately.
You cried out and grabbed his head as he devoured you, his tongue expertly bringing you to your second climax within minutes.
Breathless and sweaty, Geralt knelt between your legs, running his hands up and down your trembling thighs.
"You ready for me, sweet mage?" He asked, running his fingers over your breasts, circling your nipples.
"Please, yes," you whispered.
Geralt wrapped a hand around his cock and rubbed it up and down your dripping cunt, your entire body jumping as he circled your sensitive bud. Geralt hummed and slid down to your entrance, pushing into you slowly.
Your mouth fell open as he filled you and your hands grabbed his forearms.
"Oh fuck, Geralt," you sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut as your body accommodated his generous size.
You heard a groan. It wasn't Geralt.
Your eyes shot open and you looked at each other, then to the tent opening to see Jaskier clutching a berry-stained white cloth. The berries presumably scattered about his feet.
"Please… don't stop on my account?" Jaskier barely got out.
Geralt looked back to you with a cocked eyebrow and you grinned. Geralt smirked and bucked his hips, making you cry out and arch your back.
"Fuck…" Jaskier whispered.
"Keep your mouth shut and sit down, bard, else you lose viewing privileges," Geralt said to an instantly seated Jaskier who already had his hand down his silk trousers.
Geralt held your legs open and watched himself as he slid out and pushed back into you slowly.
You whimpered and arched your back, desperate for more. Geralt repeated the action but upon re-entry, snapped his hips forward, making you scream.
Geralt groaned and started a furious pace, your head spinning and the breath leaving your lungs faster than it entered.
"Geralt! Oh fuck," you gasped, gulping for air as his hot cock filled you over and over.
"You like that? You like feeling me stretch your pretty little cunt?"
You cried out and nodded, "yes! Oh fuck, Geralt, your huge cock feels so good."
Geralt continued to pound into you, his stamina impressing you, as you were barely clinging to consciousness.
Your head spun and you dug your nails into Geralt's biceps, getting a grunt of approval.
In a blink, Geralt was pulling away from you and grabbing you, positioning you on all fours and entering you from behind before you could take another breath.
You cried out as Gerat’s cock filled you again and his large hands grabbed your ass, spreading you apart so he could watch himself.
You heard Jaskier whimper and Geralt grunted in disapproval. Geralt grabbed your hips and in one swift motion he was on his back with you on top of him. You gasped, sinking down onto him completely, arching your back and rocking your hips. You leaned over and grabbed Geralt’s legs, slamming yourself down on his cock and giving him a nice view.
You looked up to see Jaskier, his mouth open as he panted, his hand moving quickly beneath his trousers. You licked your lips and winked at him and he moaned.
“Jaskier if you want to use your mouth I can tell you what to do with it,” Geralt grunted, fucking up into you.
“W-what…” Jaskier couldn’t help but ask.
“Up, mage,” Geralt said, squeezing your hips.
You sat up and Geralt’s hands slid up your sides and grasped your breasts, laying you down against his chest. You moaned as Geralt thrust up into you, his hand sliding between your legs.
“Bard, mouth, here,” he huffed.
You heard Jaskier scramble to your feet and he settled between your legs, his hot breath on your thighs. You looked down to see his wide eyes as his mouth surrounded your clit, his tongue lapping slowly.
“Oh fuck!” you cried, your hips writhing as Geralt’s cock filled you and Jaskier’s tongue pushed you closer to your climax.
“Mmm, be still,” Geralt said in your ear, holding your hips down as he thrust up into you.
You whined as he restrained you; you would never admit to him what his strength did to you. Geralt grunted as your pussy clenched on his cock and your back arched off of his chest.
“Fuck! Oh fuck!” you sobbed, your orgasm crashing over you.
Your legs tensed and Jaskiers hands held your thighs to prevent you from smothering him as his tongue swirled on your throbbing clit. When you relaxed, Jaskier fell back, now bare from the waist down, grasping his cock and stroking himself furiously as he watched you writhe on top of Geralt as he dragged out your release with his fingers.
“Mmm, face me,” Geralt said, nuzzling your neck.
You spun yourself around and sank back down onto Geralt, leaning over and kissing him. He growled and threw an arm around your waist, thrusting up into you at an inhuman pace, making you breathless. Geralt grunted and cried out, holding you onto him firmly as his cock swelled and he spilled into you.
You laid on top of the sweaty, panting Witcher, trying to catch your breath as his arms held you tight. You kissed his chest and his fingers traced up and down your spine while you basked in the silent afterglow of your shared ecstasy.
So, from your list...I feel like 25 and 60 would go well together. I would like some Geralt, please, and throw some Jaskier in there because I immediately thought of him when I saw 25 😂 Make it dirty like you do, my friend 😉 I love you and congratulations 👏
25.Did you leave him unattended?
60. You don't intimidate me.
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"I swear if you leave me out of one more fight, I will fight you," you huffed, storming up to Geralt who was trying Roach to a tree.
"You'll get in the way," Geralt said flatly.
"How many times have I saved your ass?"
"That was luck."
"My MAGIC isn't LUCK, Geralt! Why can't you get that through your thick skull?"
"And why can't you get through yours that I am trying to keep you out of harm's way?"
Before you could respond, Geralt looked around quickly, "did you leave him unattended?"
Knowing Geralt was referring to the bard, you rolled your eyes, "Jaskier is fine. He's back at the camp, napping."
"You should join him," Geralt said.
"You are unbelievable!"
"And you are reckless!" Geralt snapped, pointing a finger in your face, his yellow eyes locked on yours.
"You don't intimidate me," you said, crossing your arms.
"Because you've got something wrong with your head, you don't fear things that are dangerous."
"No, I just don't fear things I can handle."
"Oh, you think you can handle me, do you?"
"In more ways than one, Witcher."
Geralt raised a curious brow at you.
"Now let's get back to camp and make that potion," you said, turning around.
"If you think I'm letting you find that thing yourself…"
You reached into your bag and held up the ekimmara heart for Geralt to see as you walked away. Geralt dropped everything and lunged after you.
"This whole time? You had that THIS WHOLE TIME?" He grabbed your wrist to inspect the organ.
"I told you I can handle myself in a fight, Geralt, but you refuse to believe it. Now unhand me and let's go."
"You infuriate me, mage," Geralt grumbled, climbing up onto Roach.
"I'll meet you back at camp," you said, stepping through the small portal you opened.
-----------
When Geralt returned, you had already set up the ingredients needed for the potion and let Geralt grumpily take over. He was silent the entire time he made the potion, and when he finished, he put the vial in his belt and went inside the tent you set up for yourself, the Witcher and the bard.
You rolled your eyes and followed him, walking into him taking off his armor.
“I thought you said Jaskier was napping,” he said.
“He awoke when I returned and decided to go look for berries, he had a craving,” you replied.
Geralt grunted.
“You know you’re going to have to get over this,” you said.
“Get over what?” he asked, turning to you.
“Whatever problem you have with me that makes you think I’m so frail human that needs your protection.”
“I don’t-” Geralt cut himself off and grunted again, “fuck.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“Are you going to make me say it?” he practically growled.
“Say what, Geralt?”
He huffed and stalked over to you, grabbing your face. Before you could react, his lips were pressed to yours, his hands holding you tenderly. You immediately returned his kiss, quickly holding his head, not wanting the dream to end.
When you finally parted, Geralt studied your face.
“Say what, Geralt,” you breathed, a small smile playing your lips.
Geralt picked you up and threw you over his shoulder; you squealed and laughed as he tossed you onto the makeshift bed on the ground. He stood over you and undressed completely, watching you slowly do the same.
He knelt at your side as you laid back, completely bare, his hands running up and down your soft skin, studying every curve and imperfection.
Your hands did the same, tracing all of his scars and muscles, your fingers following your eyes to his incomprehensible cock. You exhaled slowly as you wrapped a hand around him; he was nearly as thick as your wrist. You gave him a squeeze and Geralt hummed, suddenly moving to kneel between your legs and leaning over nip and suck at your breasts.
You sighed as his hot skin met yours, his broad chest pressed to yours as he kissed you urgently.
You grabbed his shoulders and made him roll with you so you were on top of him, straddling his firm stomach.
Geralt grunted and tried to reach out and touch you again.
"Ah ah," you said, flicking your hand and watching his arms fly up over his head, his wrists suddenly bound with rope.
"You can't be serious," Geralt said, tugging at the restraints and breaking them as quickly as they were on him.
"Mmm I was. I just wanted to see you do that," you said, sliding down to trap his cock against his stomach with your slick cunt.
Geralt groaned and grabbed your hips, sliding you up and down the length of his cock. You cried out as his swollen head nudged your clit over and over, your legs twitching.
"I could probably make you scream without even entering you, hmm?" Geralt said almost to himself, watching you writhe in pleasure atop him.
"Yes!" You cried, gyrating your hips, pushing into him harder.
"Fuck," Geralt spat, his hips bucking as you moved faster.
He reached up to your breasts and tugged at your nipples, then brought one hand up to your neck. He squeezed your throat gently and you screamed his name as you tumbled over the edge, your body shuddering as you came.
Geralt clenched his jaw and cursed, his hips bucking up as you slowed down your movements, your clit circling the crown of his cock. Geralt grabbed your hips again and held you down firmly, his cock pulsing and swelling as he growled. Thick white ribbons of cum painted his heaving chest as you watched; your cunt throbbed and you were desperate to feel him inside you.
"Fuck that was unexpected," Geralt grunted, grabbing a cloth and wiping his chest clean.
You pouted and Geralt chuckled at you, quickly flipping your positions so you were on your back beneath him.
"Does it seem like I'm finished with you, pet?"
You saw his cock still rock hard and you shook your head, squeezing your legs together. Geralt took your legs and spread them wide, diving between them immediately.
You cried out and grabbed his head as he devoured you, his tongue expertly bringing you to your second climax within minutes.
Breathless and sweaty, Geralt knelt between your legs, running his hands up and down your trembling thighs.
"You ready for me, sweet mage?" He asked, running his fingers over your breasts, circling your nipples.
"Please, yes," you whispered.
Geralt wrapped a hand around his cock and rubbed it up and down your dripping cunt, your entire body jumping as he circled your sensitive bud. Geralt hummed and slid down to your entrance, pushing into you slowly.
Your mouth fell open as he filled you and your hands grabbed his forearms.
"Oh fuck, Geralt," you sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut as your body accommodated his generous size.
You heard a groan. It wasn't Geralt.
Your eyes shot open and you looked at each other, then to the tent opening to see Jaskier clutching a berry-stained white cloth. The berries presumably scattered about his feet.
"Please… don't stop on my account?" Jaskier barely got out.
Geralt looked back to you with a cocked eyebrow and you grinned. Geralt smirked and bucked his hips, making you cry out and arch your back.
"Fuck…" Jaskier whispered.
"Keep your mouth shut and sit down, bard, else you lose viewing privileges," Geralt said to an instantly seated Jaskier who already had his hand down his silk trousers.
Geralt held your legs open and watched himself as he slid out and pushed back into you slowly.
You whimpered and arched your back, desperate for more. Geralt repeated the action but upon re-entry, snapped his hips forward, making you scream.
Geralt groaned and started a furious pace, your head spinning and the breath leaving your lungs faster than it entered.
"Geralt! Oh fuck," you gasped, gulping for air as his hot cock filled you over and over.
"You like that? You like feeling me stretch your pretty little cunt?"
You cried out and nodded, "yes! Oh fuck, Geralt, your huge cock feels so good."
Geralt continued to pound into you, his stamina impressing you, as you were barely clinging to consciousness.
Your head spun and you dug your nails into Geralt's biceps, getting a grunt of approval.
In a blink, Geralt was pulling away from you and grabbing you, positioning you on all fours and entering you from behind before you could take another breath.
You cried out as Gerat’s cock filled you again and his large hands grabbed your ass, spreading you apart so he could watch himself.
You heard Jaskier whimper and Geralt grunted in disapproval. Geralt grabbed your hips and in one swift motion he was on his back with you on top of him. You gasped, sinking down onto him completely, arching your back and rocking your hips. You leaned over and grabbed Geralt’s legs, slamming yourself down on his cock and giving him a nice view.
You looked up to see Jaskier, his mouth open as he panted, his hand moving quickly beneath his trousers. You licked your lips and winked at him and he moaned.
“Jaskier if you want to use your mouth I can tell you what to do with it,” Geralt grunted, fucking up into you.
“W-what…” Jaskier couldn’t help but ask.
“Up, mage,” Geralt said, squeezing your hips.
You sat up and Geralt’s hands slid up your sides and grasped your breasts, laying you down against his chest. You moaned as Geralt thrust up into you, his hand sliding between your legs.
“Bard, mouth, here,” he huffed.
You heard Jaskier scramble to your feet and he settled between your legs, his hot breath on your thighs. You looked down to see his wide eyes as his mouth surrounded your clit, his tongue lapping slowly.
“Oh fuck!” you cried, your hips writhing as Geralt’s cock filled you and Jaskier’s tongue pushed you closer to your climax.
“Mmm, be still,” Geralt said in your ear, holding your hips down as he thrust up into you.
You whined as he restrained you; you would never admit to him what his strength did to you. Geralt grunted as your pussy clenched on his cock and your back arched off of his chest.
“Fuck! Oh fuck!” you sobbed, your orgasm crashing over you.
Your legs tensed and Jaskiers hands held your thighs to prevent you from smothering him as his tongue swirled on your throbbing clit. When you relaxed, Jaskier fell back, now bare from the waist down, grasping his cock and stroking himself furiously as he watched you writhe on top of Geralt as he dragged out your release with his fingers.
“Mmm, face me,” Geralt said, nuzzling your neck.
You spun yourself around and sank back down onto Geralt, leaning over and kissing him. He growled and threw an arm around your waist, thrusting up into you at an inhuman pace, making you breathless. Geralt grunted and cried out, holding you onto him firmly as his cock swelled and he spilled into you.
You laid on top of the sweaty, panting Witcher, trying to catch your breath as his arms held you tight. You kissed his chest and his fingers traced up and down your spine while you basked in the silent afterglow of your shared ecstasy.
This was everything I needed it to be. And more. Geralt does not intimidate me honestly...that man could do all the dirty things to me (in Henry or Geralt form...shit, in any form lmao). And my poor Jaskier and his berries.
I love you @plumfondler . Thank you for this. You make my dreams come true lol.
17, 38, 55? With Napoleon Solo, smut or fluff or both?
17. “I told you this was a bad idea.” “NO YOU DIDN'T.”
38. I'm a little frightened but also very aroused.
55. Why do you have a shoebox full of expired condoms?
I’m considering doing a second part to this?? Should I?
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You fell into Solo's dark apartment as soon as he turned the knob, not realizing how heavily you had been leaning on the door.
"I told you this was a bad idea," he laughed.
"No you didn't!" You huffed, picking yourself up off the floor.
"You're right, I just told you to let me carry you, and you yelled at me."
"Listen, since it's your fault I got this drunk, I'm sleeping in your bed, you take the couch," you said, kicking off your shoes.
"You should feel honored I took you home, this is the first time I've not taken home a celebratory one night stand after a successful mission," Solo said, loosening his tie and turning on a lamp by the door.
"You're so charming, I can't imagine why you struck out tonight."
"I did not strike out! I made the decision to not pick anyone up as a courtesy to my partner!"
"Oh so now you call me your partner? After weeks of refusing and complaining about working with me…" you trailed off, falling onto his couch.
Solo sighed, "I'm sorry I complained so much, I was an asshole, and I'm truly sorry," he said, suddenly standing over you with a glass of water, "Please, drink this, you'll feel better in the morning."
You silently took the glass and side eyed Solo, he was being nice-hell, he was being downright sweet.
"Do you need me to carry you to the bed?" Solo smirked as you fell back onto the soft couch after attempting to stand.
"Why do you keep trying to carry me places?! I'm fully capable! Don't make me fight you! You know I could drop you in five seconds. Probably less."
"I'm a little frightened, but also very aroused."
"You better not be touching yourself on this couch while I'm in your bed!"
"I wouldn't dream of it, darling."
You pulled yourself to your feet and stumbled to Solo’s bedroom, turning the light on and suddenly feeling warm as you looked at the cozy room. The carpet was plush under your feet and the bedding looked like a mountain of clouds; you couldn’t wait to fall into it.
You wandered into the bathroom connected to the room and found an unopened toothbrush in the cabinet where Solo had told you it would be.
As you brushed your teeth, you wandered through his walk in closet marveled at how many dress shoes a man could own. You saw a box above all of the stored shoes and curiously reached for it. Fortunately for you, it wasn’t shoes, so when it hit you in the head as it fell, it didn’t hurt. Unfortunately for you, you now had to pick up about 50 loose condoms off the floor.
"Why do you have a shoebox full of expired condoms?" You asked, box in hand as you walked into the living room.
Solo's eyes widened as he stood and you froze momentarily as you saw his tight undershirt and boxers and nothing else.
"I uh… wow there really isn't a good lie for this one."
"Is the truth that horrifying?"
"Well, long ago, on my eighteenth birthday, it was a joke gift from my friends…"
"Did they do something to them? Why didn't you just use them?"
"They, uh, they're," Solo cleared his throat, "too small."
You glanced back into the box to see if they were small joke condoms, but no, just the regular size normal ones. You looked back to a now-blushing Solo with wide eyes.
"Oh," was all you could say, glancing down at his boxers and back up to his face.
"Well this is awkward," he said, "I'm going to go brush my teeth."
You heard Solo brushing his teeth and you went back into the closet to put the shoe box in its place.
“Sorry I was snooping, I saw all your shoes and was curious why you had a pair in a box.”
“It’s, er, it’s fine, I’ve not many secrets or things to hide here, it’s just a small piece of my past I like to hang on to,” he said, sipping a handful of water and spitting in the sink.
“You sentimental softie,” you grinned, leaning against the doorframe.
“Now that is something I’ve never been accused of,” he said, rinsing off his toothbrush and putting it in it’s holder.
“Well it’s definitely endearing, partner,” you said, turning around and heading toward the cloud mountain that was calling your name.
“Can I get you anything before you become unconscious?” he smiled, leaning against the bedpost as you pushed the hose down from under your dress.
“Unzip me?” you asked, turning away from him.
Solo put a gentle hand on your shoulder and slowly unzipped your dress; you shivered when his knuckles brushed against your bare skin.
Instead of holding it up, you let your dress fall to the floor; you turned around and Solo swallowed audibly.
“Can I lend you a shirt to sleep in?” He asked, turning quickly to his dresser.
“That would be very nice of you,” you said, shamelessly standing in your slip, pushing the straps of your bra down your arms.
Solo handed you a shirt and you slipped it on, reaching underneath to unhook your bra and drop it to the floor between you.
“You should… I should get some sleep, sweet dreams,” he said, quickly turning and leaving, closing the door behind him.
You sighed and climbed into his bed after taking off the rest of your undergarments. You nuzzled your face into the soft pillows and sighed, the lingering scent of Solo wrapping around you as you burrowed into the bed, drifting off as soon as you closed your eyes.
