mero @merolv01 - Tumblr Blog

“You know what time it is.”

Level 80 Machinist. Stephanivien, please stop trying to be sneaky. Those women are cannier than you, your lordship.

I still say this looks similar to Ashe’s outfit in Overwatch, but that’s OK. This gear is tempting me to keep shooting things with guns instead of bows. The /visor command puts the goggles over one’s eyes, or up on the brim of the hat.

At least it’s shorts and not a skirt for the bottoms; thigh-highs with shorts is sorta my Thing–though I likely will swap out for actual pants as I think it works better with this get-up, if I wear it in the future.

gahdamnpunk

THIS

tranquilhawke-2

this was in the netherlands and there were also two at my local bus stop, its been the poster ive seen replaced the fastest :/

cuteandbrammatical

What’s funny is that the Netherlands is known as a super progressive and pro LGBTQ country (they were the first country to legalize gay marriage, pride here is a huge deal, and many of my friends deem it safe to be out), but even in my friend’s ultra-leftist neighborhood these posters were vandalized. It makes me so mad when people say “you don’t need more rights//you can marry, what else do you want//what oppression lol everyone is equal in the West :))))” because it’s so fucking ignorant and false.

nope-not-straight

Exactly this.

spacemonkeyg78

This is why if you call any LGB groups “hate groups” because they formed SPECIFIALLY to address homophobic oppression in all forms then I don’t trust you.

lethalnihilism

Statistics on Women in Prison 2018:

In a study conducted by NPR and The Chicago Reporter, there are startling numbers on the way women are treated in prison. They studied women’s and men’s prisons in 15 states across the country and here’s what they found:

women get disciplined a 2-3 times the rate of male prisoners, often for minor infractions such as "disrespect”: in Rhode Island, women received three times the amount of tickets for being “disruptive”. In California women received two times the amount of tickets for “disrespect”. In Vermont, women received two times the amount of tickets for “derogatory comments”. The list goes on

The consequences of these infractions are more severe: women are given solitary confinement at higher rates than men for similar infractions, and other punishments like getting their telephone rights taken away. Confining their movement within the prison, including being restricted to their cells, is given as a punishment to women 60% of the time in Massachusets prisons, while men receive these types of punishments at half the rate

Prison rules were originally designed to discipline men who’ve committed violent crimes and not women, who more often commit drug and property crimes. According to a former prison warden, “women are disciplined based on emotion rather than safety”, but are punished as if they were a safety concern

80-90% of women in prison have experienced sexual or physical violence, which may provoke an emotional reaction to male corrections officers. In Illinois prisons for example, 98% of women prisoners have experienced physical abuse pre-arrest, and 75% of women have experienced sexual abuse pre-arrest, according to a 2010 report

The population of women prisoners has risen 800% in the past 30 years, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, and is thought to be due to mandatory minimum sentencing for drug-related offenses

partialbirthabortion

The fact that a wealthy, white mother-of-two in California with access to excellent prenatal and birth care, acting as a surrogate for another family in the safest, cleanest, least coercive of all possible surrogacy arrangements, died this week while giving birth really underscores the surrogacy thoughts I've been having recently. Should you be ethically willing or legally able to compel another woman to risk death at worst and major lifetime health consequences at best just so you can have a child that is biologically related to you?

heringstuff

Here’s an article about it.

She died of an amniotic fluid embolism, which is rare but very deadly.

This post gives another example of a surrogate dying and includes this disturbing information:

An article online incorrectly states “the risks of being a surrogate mother are the same as for every pregnancy.” This is not true. Recent studies have shown that surrogate pregnancies are different and are high-risk. Studies show that women pregnant with donor eggs (as in gestational surrogacy) have a more than three-fold risk of developing pregnancy induced hypertension and pre-eclampsia.

transwomanexclusionary-deactiva

bUt WhAt If ItS hEr ChOiCe

We don't give a shit about choice when this happens

yonicstar

I seriously don’t understand the cognitive dissonance and mental gymnastics progressive people do to defend porn. Like, the big majority of them will fully recognize the affect media has on society. If you say something like “the lack of fat women on TV creates unrealistic expectations on women”, most will nod along. If you say “always portraying gay people dying by the end of a show will factor in the isolating feeling of lesbians and gays”, they’ll agree. But if you say “porn makes society see women as sex objects that exist exclusively for male pleasure” suddenly it doesn’t make sense? Suddenly porn is something completely apart and separated from consumed media and somehow impossible of influencing anyone? The same logic can not be applied because… what? 🤔

mantoniospam

I want to eat healthy food, but not, like, what pop-culture tells us healthy food is.

I want to eat healthy food like the food in Monster Hunter.

YOU GOT YOUR PROTEIN. YOU GOT YOUR FIBRE. YOU GOT YOUR FRUIT AND VEG. YOU GOT A LITTLE BIT OF FAT FOR SATIETY. FIBRE OUT THE ASS. ALL NATURAL. ALL COOKED FRESH. MAXIMUM GAINS. SUPLEX A DINOSAUR.

facts-about-bisexuality

Fact: It’s not true that “everyone is a little bi.” There are lots of lesbian and gay people out there who have fought hard to understand their identity, and they know for a fact they’re not bi.

Plus, society certainly doesn’t treat bisexual people like we are the norm. The fact that we are treated differently matters, and saying that “everyone is a little bi” delegitimizes our experiences of oppression, our journeys to self-discovery, and our sense of community and identity.

terencedrawsstuff

Some Slay the Spire fanart. The Ironclad is too busy flexing to fight properly, and this has our poor bird cultists rather confused.

This game has been pretty good for me, because since it’s turn-based I can just step away from the PC whenever it’s needed, and I don’t screw over other players by doing so (which would happen if I played multiplayer stuff). It’s pretty clear to me that it deserves more fanart, so expect more!

kawarayane

Doodle

I’m looking forward the new character.

pro-uterus-agenda

Furthermore, 16 of those villages have not recorded female births since the beginning of the year, according to the district magistrate

A recent Indian government report shows that none of the 216 births recorded in 132 villages from a northern Indian district are girls, leading local officials to suspect female foeticide.

Furthermore, 16 of those villages have not recorded a single female birth since the beginning of the year, according to the district’s magistrate Ashish Chauhan.

Officials in the district of Uttarkashi, Uttarkhand state have marked 82 villages as “red zones” to closely investigate local data and have asked local health workers to stay on alert.

Female foeticide has been banned in India since 1994, but still continues in areas where communities place a higher value on boys than girls.

“It is shocking to have a zero girl child birth rate in 132 village of the district, as we have rarely heard of (or) seen any incident of female foeticide in the hills,” said legislative assembly member Gopal Rawat, as quoted by The Independent.

According to TNN news agency, Chauhan said that any parents found to be guilty will face legal action.

Last year, police discovered 19 aborted female fetuses near a hospital in Maharashtra, while investigating the death of women who had undergone an illegal abortion.

A 2018 report stated that 63 million women were statistically “missing” from the country’s population.

Kalpana Thakur, a social worker, claimed that the lack of female births clearly points to a prevalence of female foeticide. “No girl child was born for three months in these villages. It cannot just be a coincidence,” she said, as quoted by NDTV, an Indian news broadcast agency. This clearly indicated female foeticide is taking place in the district. The government and the administration are not doing anything.”

Under Prime Minister Narendra Modi, the Indian government launched a campaign four years ago, aimed at saving and educating girls.

India’s patriarchal society has historically valued male children as family breadwinners and female children as a drain on the family funds. Parents with daughters are still often expected to pay dowries when they marry, even though the practice was outlawed in 1961.

sapphicflower

Uh, so what do the people who claim bio sex doesn’t exist say about this? I mean really, how do they explain this away? 🤨

pro-uterus-agenda

Lol they don’t bother because it affects brown girls in Asia instead of white men in the west. They don’t care. Too busy protecting white males like Jessica Yaniv from being misgendered.

taramaclaywasaterf

The fact that this is going to lead to yet another generation of men kidnapping women and girls from other areas to be their “wives” because they feel that goddamn entitled to women’s bodies and labor is beyond heartbreaking and makes me so fucking sick and upset. Another generation of women and girls have been stolen from us, and another will be forced to suffer, all because of men. I’m so, so tired.

celtyradfem

But a man wanted to feel valid

cecaeliawitch

brensey

If only those babies had been able to vocalize and tell their parents that they “identified as boys”! Surely that would have saved them!!

Also, I don’t see how this is possible in India since, according to Tumblr, Brown People can’t recognize biological sex unless a White man is there to help them figure it out.

lesbian-lizards

according to tumblr india is super woke for having a third gender

90905791

what infuriated me about the caster semenya situation is that this is all public. the whole world knows she has an intersex disorder now, and she’ll have to face the stigma of it as a celebrity. she didn’t ask for this. she grew up and was socialized as female, and her relationship with her wife already faces considerable stigma. it seems like people are putting more scrutiny on a woman with an intersex disorder than non-intersex males who pretend to be women

Yeah it pissed me off a lot too. You know, she probably didn’t even know she had the condition until she was screened for it. So she was probably going through her own struggle with the diagnosis as soon as they found out, and they went and topped it off by broadcasting it around the world. That’s heinous. It costs zero cents to be a respectable employer (manager, franchise, whatever you call the people in charge of Olympic athletes) and privately discuss such a thing with your athlete instead of running to news sources who don’t care how she’s taking the diagnosis and instead are going to put out headlines like “Olympic Woman is Actually Man with Disease,” and now all she’s known for and talked about surrounds this condition she just found out about. This isn’t like Ray Rice where the public was informed that their sports role model was actually a horrible abusive person they should not be celebrating, this is just a woman who has a rare genetic condition. It’s personal and not morally reprehensible.

90905791

hi, can you list some basic facts about intersex-people?

For sure!

An intersex person’s body is the result of a genetic condition that may negatively affect health, but the way the body looks is not harmful to that person and should respectfully be left alone. For example, I have 21-hydroxylase deficiency, a type of Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia, and as such have adrenal insufficiency like someone who has Addison’s disease. With CAH, this means that the enzyme that converts progesterone to cortisol is malfunctioned, so instead the progesterone is turned into androgens, giving me my intersex body. My actual medical condition is the lack of cortisol/adrenal insufficiency, not the way my body looks because of extra testosterone. The way our bodies look rarely ever affects our health and this is why we protest unnecessary genital surgeries on intersex children–called Intersex Genital Mutilation (IGM).

Most intersex people with what is called “sex reversal” are AFAB. We all know how the male reproductive system develops: A fetus inherits the Y Chromosome which contains the SRY coding region among other important switches, which causes Mullerian structures’ (uterus, ovaries) base tissues to instead develop into Wolffian structures (testes, prostate, etc.), and other portions of the Y blueprint the other changes from female to male like androgen receptor density and placement and skeletal proportions. With this, we know it requires a lot of genetic coding key points to fully develop the male reproductive system. It’s a lot harder to switch XX coding to develop the male phenotype than it is to have XY coding and develop the female phenotype, as we all start out as fetuses with a “female default” body type. This can be due to things as simple as not enough androgens (5-alpha reductase deficiency, 17-alpha hydroxylase deficiency, lipoid CAH), insensitivity to androgens (AIS), or genes mutated that prevent SRY from converting Mullerian to Wolffian (Swyer Syndrome).

The most common health issues associated with being intersex are bone and heart issues. Sex hormone levels are important in bone and heart health, and it’s especially important that they are healthy levels for your genetic sex. Intersex people have extremely different hormone levels than others of our genetic sex. Bone and heart development is also a part of sexual development because males have different skeletal proportions and heart sizes/heart rates than females. When you have a difference in sexual development like intersex people do, you come into problems with bone and heart health.

In cases of AFAB diagnosis (XY with a female phenotype), it is not uncommon for medical staff to help the person meet with a psychiatrist/psychologist. A lot of times with AFABs the condition does not go diagnosed until puberty when they don’t start having periods like their classmates. The diagnosis can be very hard for them and so meeting with a professional who can help that mental struggle can be important. Psychiatrist/psychologist work with young intersex people has brought us many behavioral and mental health studies.

Even our own organizations campaign against us. In one example, there is the CARES Foundation–the biggest name in CAH organizations. CARES is fighting so that when the IGM ban passes, girls with CAH can still be genitally mutilated. It’s very hard to combat the lobbying big names like CARES do because not only are they a wealthy and well-known organization, they also claim to speak for us and be one with us.

Intersex bodies aren’t limitless in that you can have anything goes like hitting “randomize” on a character creation. The different types of intersex bodies are specific to certain conditions. People with AIS will always have internal testes, no uterus, and an external female phenotype. People with De La Chapelle Syndrome will always have a penis and smaller external testes. It’s all directly tied to which gene is mutated and how that affects development.

All types of intersex can be tied back to a form of genetic mutation. Klinefelter and Turner Syndrome are caused by meiotic nondisjunction. CAH is caused by mutations in genes that code for enzymes that convert precursors into cortisol and aldosterone. AIS is caused by mutations in the androgen receptor gene. There are thousands of genes that either directly or indirectly affect our sexual development. When someone is born having a notable difference in sexual development that isn’t known to be caused by environmental exposure, it can be traced back by screening genes that when mutated would create a sexual development like the baby’s.

Intersex people need more screening for gonadal and reproductive health than non-intersex people. Extreme hormonal differences are tied to gonadal tissue issues like development of ovarian cysts without precursory PCOS, testicular tumors, testicular adrenal rests tumors (TARTs) in boys with CAH, and people with internal testes or streak gonads having higher rates of gonadal cancer. These things can all be prevented or overseen by annual screenings.

It is safer, easier, and more respectful to diagnose intersex people with ultrasounds, blood testing, and genetic sequencing than it is to ever look at their genitals. It’s very invasive for doctors to want to closely examine someone’s genitals to determine if they’re intersex when there are far more respectable options. It is best to always start with an ultrasound that will determine internal reproductive structure and health, then using those findings narrow down to certain conditions, perform a blood panel to see if the endocrine profile matches any of those conditions, and then do a genetic screening for that condition if the blood panel matches. I.e., a young girl comes in with stomach cramping but has never had periods despite being 17. Her doctors suppose AIS. Instead of recommending her to a gyno, they could do an ultrasound. If she has AIS, they will find she has internal testes and her cramping is caused by inguinal hernia. To further the diagnosis, they’ll ask for a blood panel with a baseline and then a comparison after stimulation with synthetic gonadotropin. If she has AIS, her baseline with have extremely high levels of gonadotropin and her post-stimulation will have extremely high levels of tesosterone instead of estrogen. They’ll confirm diagnosis of AIS by having a geneticist sequence her AR gene for any mutations and by confirming an XY karyotype. In this process, she is not dehumanized by having her sexual body prodded and examined in an unnecessary way.

It is important that if you have an intersex child, you need to find a respectful and caring medical staff and never accept less. Your child will need to see doctors their whole life, moreso than other kids. Intersex children also experience higher rates of medical abuse than the rest of the population. It’s important that they have positive experiences with medical staff as young children so they do not avoid screenings for their health as an adult and feel comfortable voicing medical concerns. Setting your child up with good care providers from an early age means that they won’t have to go hunting through trial-and-error when their healthcare is inherited into their own hands as an adult.

Hope these are good! I tried to go with less-commonly thought of things because I often just state medical/genetic facts that sound as if they’re copy-pasted from OMIM and that can get bland.

newdoges

urban-cryptid

Damn this one cuts deep huh? Where are y'all extracting these memories from??

90905791

hi! just read the telegraph article titled "Man born with a womb prepares for hysterectomy" which is about a guy finding he has PMDS. It says the guy had both "a normal sex life" which i suppose means a functioning penis and a functioning uterus with menstrual cycIes and possibility of pregnancy. Is that really possible that the guy had functioning organs of both sex ?

Hey, anon!

First off thanks for bringing this to my inbox–it’s one of those intersex conditions that’s rarely ever talked about or understood, plus I got some extra genetics and endocrinology knowledge from reading up on it to give you a good answer!

This is Persistent Mullerian Duct Syndrome, just like you say. Men with PMDS don’t look any different than men without it save for occasional undescended testes or hypospadias, and the uterus usually is only discovered by doctors who are doing an operation or ultrasound for some other issue. I’ll give an overview on PMDS and how it works before I answer the rest of your ask to fill in some info that may be relevant!

PMDS is an intersex disorder that only occurs in males (XY) and is due to misshapen molecules of anti-Mullerian hormone or misshapen anti-Mullerian hormone receptors that prevent the hormone from binding to the receptor. Normally, everyone starts out in the womb with a Mullerian duct. On that Mullerian duct, we all have (or are supposed to) anti-Mullerian hormone receptors regardless of sex. That’s because the anti-Mullerian hormone receptor is coded autosomally–separate from a sex chromosome. The gene for anti-Mullerian hormone receptors is AMHR2. You can find it on Chromosome 12. The gene for anti-Mullerian hormone is also autosomal, called AMH, and is located on Chromosome 19.

Sometimes genes that are heavily involved in sexual development aren’t located on the sex chromosomes, as with AMHR2 and AMH. Our genome does things like this as a fail safe. For example, there’s a cluster of enzymes involved in making adrenal steroids and they’re all spread out across the chromosomes. If they were all lined up together, and you have a mutation or deletion that affects the number of codons in those sequences, you may have a completely defunct organ or organ system whereas if you separate them there’s less room for total damage.

So how do anti-Mullerian hormone and its receptor work in men?

Anti-Mullerian hormone (I’ll abbreviate as AMH) is produced by the Sertoli cells of the testes after they’ve developed. Anti-Mullerian hormone will then bind to the receptors on the Mullerian duct and cause apoptosis, the breakdown of the Mullerian cells. Pretty much healthily “dissolving” what would become the uterus. This isn’t signalled for in female fetuses, so the “dissolving” of the Mullerian duct doesn’t happen in them except in the case of the intersex disorder Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser Syndrome (MRKH), which can be caused by mutations of autosomal genes that further uterine development or by accidental signalling of AMH (possibly by over amplification of the AMH gene or some other precursory gene that is involved in AMH’s development and release). In males, if the Mullerian duct does not under go apoptosis the baby gets PMDS and a uterus will develop.

We know that PMDS is caused by mutations in both the AMH and AMHR2 genes, but there are some cases where a genetic cause cannot be found. These can be environmentally caused. Certain chemicals act as agonists to hormone receptors (think taking saw palmetto as a DHT blocker) by “plugging” binding areas of the receptor so the hormone cannot dock. Other times, a chemical exposure may prevent the testes’ Sertoli cells from releasing anti-Mullerian hormone.

PMDS is similar to Swyer Syndrome, 46, XY Complete Gonadal Dysgensesis, but it is not the same thing. The difference between the two is that PMDS is a disorder of anti-Mullerian hormone production or binding, whereas Swyer Syndrome is prevention of the testes to form, which would then prevent anti-Mullerian hormone from being released and bound. Swyer Syndrome is a knockout of the first step of male development–the differentiation of testes–and PMDS is a knockout of just anti-Mullerian development in males, right after the testes form.

On to the rest of your ask!

The man would have had a normal sex life, for sure. The rest of his reproductive system developed just as planned and he’d have the testosterone levels, penis, and testes to be able to have sex just like any other Joe.

As for menstruation, that can only occur in very specific and well-timed hormonal environments. Whacked out menstrual cycles are very common in women because even the slightest hormonal imbalance makes the whole system cranky. Men with PMDS produce normal male levels of hormones, which aren’t a habitable environment to start up a cycle.

On the topic of that, if he ever were to get into a severe hormonal imbalance or take certain drugs it is very possible for that uterus to start shedding lining. The worry there is that it has no where to go–he wouldn’t have female external genitalia for it to exit from. The expelled tissues would be left dangerously in the body cavity.

In any scenario, he’d also not have the ability to get pregnant as that requires the production of eggs–done in the ovaries while he has testes.

Hysterectomies are performed in men with PMDS almost invariably because of the danger of the endometrial buildup with the lack of a shedding cycle, and potentially because the uterus is untethered to any other organs in the body. That last part is more of a guess on my part because I can’t find much information on it, but without a vagina it has nothing externally to connect to, and I’m not sure if there’s a sort of tissue matrix that stabilizes the uterus or if in males with PMDS that matrix would still be there. I would think they’d be worried over the possibility of a lose abdominal organ if that’s the case.

90905791

Heyho Here in German there was a law passed that allows parents of intersex babies, or intersex people, to register themselves as a third sex on official documents. I think it is supposed to prevent forced surgeries... What do you think about that?

Creating a third class on identification isn’t going to do much of anything to stop doctors from performing cosmetic operations. And come to think of it, there’s not many times I’ve even seen my own legal and medical documents with sex markers, so it’s rather hallow in that it’s not something that really matters what’s written down. The last time I saw my birth certificate was when I enlisted in the Marines half a decade ago, and my driver’s license hasn’t been looked at in so long I just found out it expired in November, for reference in how irrelevant those documents can be in our daily lives.

In the case of medical situations, it can become dangerous due to the need to know the sex of the individual for proper treatment and care. Due to the different levels, density, placements, and potency of hormone rececptors between males and females as coded for in our sex chromosomes, we metabolize different medications differently and can show different symptoms for the same thing. So it’s important to know what sex someone is for those kinds of situations instead of writing someone off as a third sex. For example, despite my excessively high androgen levels, I’m still coded XX so my reception to androgens is less than males’ and I will also display female heart attack symptoms and female drug metabolism.

There’s also the issue of different people have different intersex conditions so conglomerating us all into one name on medical and legal documents isn’t helpful. A man with De La Chapelle Syndrome and I are going to be perceived a whole lot different legally and socially, but need the same care medicinally, while a woman with PAIS and I will be perceived the same legally and socially but need different care medicinally, so why legally and medicinally categorize us all the same?

I also don’t think I’d like to be branded with my disability on public documents. Like having to explain why there’s an X on my diver’s license when I get pulled over and having a million and one uncomfortable questions.

A bit back, another couple of intersex women were talking about the same topic so I’ll link their thoughts here.

90905791

Yesterday I met for the first time with a new primary care physician since I’m moving my whole life closer to my job and school. It’s not a big town. He shouldn’t see too many patients. He does get some from Decatur and Mattoon, but his office is a subset of those located in the small town where I work.

My medical records and the paperwork I filled out specified that I have 21-OH-LOCAH. My reason for appointment was pre-slotted as “hormonal health,” because I wanted some general up-keep on my CAH as well as I’m getting past the point of damn tired with the agony of what periods I am able to have and may have endometriosis, on top of which I developed very painful breast and armpit lymph nodes the size of grapes with a family history of breast cancer and predisposition to it from CAH. So to keep things sweet: Hormonal health.

He’s got results of several prior blood tests that were to help track my CAH. He must’ve seen them or at least skimmed them while I was going through my intake. But when he came in to ask me why I was here for hormonal health and was seeking help for irregular, short, and painful periods and possible endometriosis, I told him I have excessive hyperandrogenism.

“And what makes you think you have that?”

Bro, I have CAH. It is right there, in my documents. All of my blood test results are in your hands. You can read the T vals right there. I assumed he did know that, so I started to point out certain things about me: I have very oily skin and a blisteringly red face with cystic acne, very muscular body type, underdeveloped breasts, I am at least half a foot shorter than all of my family members, periods are very off-tune, short, and painful, I’m hirsute, etc.

“Sometimes we just assume things to try to make an understanding of what’s going on with ourselves,” he tells me. I get motioned up to the exam bed for the general stuff: looking in my ears, stethoscoping my lungs.

And he gets to feeling the lymph nodes under my jaw. And just. He takes on this look of encountering an issue and his hands stop. Then he puts his hands around my jaw and starts circling his thumbs over my lower facial skin.

“Has anyone ever told you you have very prominent rosacea, and it feels like you have a substantial amount of terminal hair growth budding in this area?”

“Yeah, I shaved this morning. I do every morning. The skin may look clear but feels rough by the end of the day.”

After the short general exam, I go back to the chair and he goes out of the room to look at my paperwork for a minute. He comes back in and sits down next to me looking like he’s about to diagnose me with cancer or some shit.

“Ma’am I don’t want you to be afraid but there are some anomalies in your recent blood tests.”

I give him this unamused “yeah” because it’s like, we should know what this is by now my man. The name of this disorder is written right there in all of the paperwork.

He goes on to explain that the gonads produce most of the body’s sex steroid, but the adrenal glands produce about 10-15%, and asks me, “Do you know what adrenal glands are?” Then starts telling me about the different layers.

I just flat out interrupted him. “21-hydroxylase deficiency. That’s what you’re leading up to.”

He says yes, then continues to describe cortisol and testosterone and low cortisol can blah blah blah.

“CAH. Adrenal hyperplasia.” I keep flatly fucking repeating this shit because at this point it’s just. You have a limited time with me. Don’t sit here and diagnose me with something that was diagnosed years ago. I am here seeking new answers for new problems.

He catches on at some point that I’m saying, yeah I know, I have that, and he turns tones. He goes on about how we can’t self-diagnose anything and we need actual solid numbers–despite having my blood tests and medical history with the diagnosis–and I will need to go see a specialist. I insisted I’ve already been diagnosed, it’s in the papers, the numbers are in the blood tests, I’m here for something entirely different, can we move on?

He asks me if I’m trans.

What? The fuck?

“Do you identify with something other than your ‘assigned’ sex, or whatever you would call it? It says in your intake that you were on testosterone for five years.”

I just. Fucking. It came out harshly like, I’m a biological female with 46, XX chromosomes, a female phenotype, a normal ass GNC homosexual woman who was transitioned at 13 to 18 because of what other people forced into my self-hatred over being homosexual, GNC, and having CAH.

And this dude’s world fucking changed. He looked like he was going to goddamn cry and profusely apologized about how sorry he was to have assumed and brought up the scars of that transition that was put on me.

This dude thought that because I look like a gender-trender I was some intersex-larping trans person and that mooted the diagnosis in my paperwork and the physical exam that he felt my facial stubble in because he’d seen so many time and time before that he was used to them trying to force CAH diagnoses and thought I may have actually managed to force a diagnosis for my own validation. This doctor who has only ever worked in this small area of central Illinois has somehow seen enough trans intersex fakers going off the damn wall trying to screech their way into validating a self-diagnosis that my real diagnosis was fucking ignored.

He says he’s never met a patient with CAH and has only ever read about it in infants while in medical school, and is so sorry for having made this first interaction with one based around other people’s lies about my disability.

Thanks to the sheer number of intersex fakers and how asswild you pieces of shit get in your larping, it’s hard as hell for us actual intersex people to find doctors. I’m trying to set down roots for my life in a new place and immediately my relationship with a new doctor caused us both to go home feeling horrible and having a depressing first interaction because he’d seen so many of you fakers before that he just expected more and more to come. I had to put down a copay for an appointment that didn’t even turn out to accomplish what I wanted to be seen for because the entire time was spent on this shit and he’d run far past the time for the next person to be seen.

This guy is genuinely caring, I know it. He’s not the bad guy here. I just want you people to fucking think about it before you go claiming to be intersex for fucking Valid Cool Freak Points on the internet or in your school groups or at the doctor’s office because your lies make it harder for me to find answers and safety for my truth.

draco-omega

I appreciate the coincidental appropriateness of killing Awakened One with a hand full of cards whose current (beta) art is punching Awakened One in the head.

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