Messhias

Random shit. I love movies.

[loregasmic-deactivated20140814]

[rydenarmani]

women are taught “don’t send nudes if you don’t want them to get leaked”

men are never taught “if a woman feels comfortable enough to send you a nude photo, keep it to yourself. leaking it could put her in danger.”

if you don’t see the issue here, you’re a fucking moron.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[messhias]

This is one of my favorite posts because that cat’s fucking name is fucking meatloaf

Is this Christopher? Yes, I have a delivery for you.

[messhias]

I'd let you bounce on my dock any day *wink*

Ellen's technical support

[messhias]

I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.

[aggressica]

This is important. Stop big cat hunting. This literally is making me cry. 

The way the lion tries to shut out the light…

:Why would you shoot it?

[allthingshyper]

I cannot think of any reason to kill a Lion. You don’t eat it. It’s a waste.

[penispanda]

KITTY NO

[neuralhandshake]

This post actually really changed my perception of lions for the better.

[messhias]

Transeksuell. Fant denne nå, laget den på fylla for et par uker siden uten å huske det. I mappen "vær så snill ikje spørr". Å folk lure på kaffør man drekk!? #møllers #tran #transseksuell (Taken with Instagram)

[messhias]

5 år gammel søster = Universal unnskyldning for å kunne se barnefilmer. #garfield (Taken with Instagram)

[messhias]

Taken with Instagram

[messhias]

Name the movie. Best wallet ever. (Taken with Instagram)

[messhias]

Léon

Léon: I took a hit. I need a hand now. I know she's young, but she learns fast. Kids need to be shaped into something right?

Tony: Yeah, I know. I taught you that. But ain't there an age limit?

Léon: She's 18.

Tony: Oh, really?

[messhias]

2010: Moby Dick

I don't read much, but I try to get the classics down for the sake of argument. I wasn't a big fella when i read Moby-Dick, the classic tale of Ishmael on his voyage on Captain Ahab's Pequod where they hunt the huge white sperm whale Moby Dick. Ahab's lusts for revenge on this whale after it crushed his ship and part of his leg many years ago.

It is a wonderful story with great characters and original twists. And I can absolutely see movies coming out of this, as it did originally did 79 years after the book was dropped in 1851. The 1930 story of Moby Dick in motion picture is a hard commody to find. But I am told the 1956 remake is really the "one". And it was. It made the nostalgic part of me scream in joy. It might not be for everyone (Black & White) but it is a wonderful piece of film. And then, this shit came out...

2010: Moby Dick is a B-movie based on the book, but even with that B in it, it is a total abomination. It was so bad I would rather fuck my way through a herd of buffalo's. The "special" effects are, well let's just call them special. The whale continuously changes size, a scene where the submarine has to emergency surface- followed by the boat shooting tens of meters in the air like a frickin' projectile. The shit is so far beyond "So bad it's good!" that I can't explain it.

But the fact that it wreaks of bad acting, thin plot and bad CGI isn't the worst. This movie is trying to go big. It's trying to be serious. If you see this movie on the shelf, it'll look good because 50% of the movies budget must have been used on the cover itself. It is somewhat a "2012" style cover with all the art done right. And basically that is the only good thing about this movie.

I'm not going to give this movie any more of my calories, as it is definitely not worth it. Keep away from it unless you REALLY love the books, need to sleep or find yourself on a lone island with a tv and this movie only.

[messhias]

I can’t wait. With the wonderful actorlist (Jena Marlone from Contact!) and original plot, this one will get it’s prime time on my television! Emily Browning from Lemony Snickets is one of my all time favourites. She's not looking too shabby now after a few years. I'm a sucker for superawesome teens with fucked up minds, so if they did it right, this one should be up my alley.

[messhias]

Tangled

The latter years the number of high-profile animation movies have been astonishing. Disney showing it's 7,4 billion dollar investment in Pixar a wonderful addition to the world of fictional characters, evil geniuses and raining food. After the acquisition of Pixar, Disney used their fantastic repertoire of characters for a insane amount of movies including remakes. Only the last three years we've seen Alice In Wonderland, Toy Story, TRON, Tinker Bell, A Christmas Carol ++ in brand spankin' new CGI.

But if you count Pixar out of the picture. It is a LONG time since I've seen something pure Disney, something unpolluted.

I like this trend of massive amounts of animated movies. And I will until someone uses up the concept of evil villains turning good, but that's for another review. On another note, I've recently seen a brand new princess-movie-release from Disney: Tangled.

Tangled is based on the well known story of Rapunzel. The princess with the magical hair trapped in the tower by her evil "step-mom". The unlikely mix up of this beautiful 18-year old with the bandit "Flynn Rider" and the inevitable happy ending.

First I gotta say, the voice acting by Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi was surprisingly good. I caught myself slapping myself for doubting Disney's choice as I was skeptical with Mandy voicing (Bad mojo after watching A Walk to Remember and The Princess Diaries, the latter I can never forgive Disney for personally.) But as I got a bit through the movie (Screamy singing thing) I couldn't think of better voices for any characters!

But The Princess and The Bandit wasn't the characters stealing the show in this movie! No, it was a Chameleon named Pascal and a Horse named Maximus. These two, with no dialogue what so ever, stole the show completely. Through emotions and questionable actions these two animals, brought to life in true Disney style made me laugh at every scene they were involved in.

This movie got it all: Tear dropping moments followed by spot on humor making my mood change like a menstrual grandmother. Tho at times a bit too "weepy" for my taste, but I do understand the please-everyone try and it is successful indeed. I love the little details, like we never get to see Rapunzels full hair in one frame (I can't imagine how much work must have gone in to that.) Also the light rendering is truly amazing. I love the glow blur effect on everything shiny, like Rapunzels hair when it's glowing. Also lovable was the face of Flynn when he sees her magical hair for the first time, kind of reminded me of myself when i first discovered IMDB.

This is a movie hard to not like, a perfect movie for the whole family or the lone marathoner. They don't make many princess movies anymore, and when they do it most probably have the name "Barbie" in it wich by itself disqualifies itself from the genre.

[messhias]

Tunnel Vision

There was a time when I could sit down and just type. The time has, after a few too many essays about boring stuff, passed. But I never did get the blog syndrome. Even after a numerous amount of websites I've built, I stop after a month. A then good idea started with the force of god leashed upon it, fallen to dust just as fast to be forgotten.

But that's me. I've come as far as to realize how a fool I am taking on shit bigger than a mountain, wich it seems a blog is. People have always given me wrong advice: Aim high and reach for gold. And therefore I always catch myself being way ambitious.

It is never the fact that I can't do it. It is the fact that I can never keep doing it. See this site? There's a pathetic post every 3 months, just to remind myself of the fact that I pay for the frickin domain!

Enough rambling.

Have also been thinking about a career change. I was fascinated by this Jaime Rascone, who apparently works as Q&A in a rather questionable occupation. As the article I read he is basicly a whoretester. Hillareously as it sounds, this DJ-dude-thingy tests prostitutes in Chile as his 2nd job. Primarily it seems he is a DJ who had a hard time making the ends meet. He makes it look like an art, taking notes and even testing these vermin girls' psyche. I wonder what kind of education these poor chiquitas need to pass his test. Or if there's maybe a prostitute-final exam.

[messhias]

I seem to have misplaced my website. Oh no wait, here it was!

[messhias]