Metaphysical Enthusiast Blogz

Providing enthusiasm, hope and honesty to those who seek it 💜👾🦄☪️🎤

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

It’s been a minute since I did a full face and at every attempt, I gave up due to depression but today I found my old iPod, hooked it up to my Bluetooth and went with the flow. I’m proud of myself for finally taking the initiative 💜. This is only the beginning. Can’t wait to see what I do next. Check back here tomorrow to see how I achieved this look. #metaphysicalenthusiast #beautycommunity #fentybeauty #notsponsored https://www.instagram.com/p/CjWDhTcP7fl/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

Good morning 🌞 #saturdaymorningvibes #familytime https://www.instagram.com/p/Cim2bBTLv1C/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[incidentalcomics]

Vicious Cycle

https://linktr.ee/grantdraws

[surqrised]

“I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here.”

— Laurie Halse Anderson

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

Mom Guilt

I became a mom at 22 years old. Thought I was going to marry the love of my life then. Thought I had my life figured out then. Got laid off just as I got pregnant but he seemed to have it all figured out then. I'm 33 now and what I thought was a dream come true, what I thought I wanted my life to be like, was only a lie I continued to tell myself realizing over time, it was for him, not me. I'm about to have an 11 year old, that's 11 years of being a mom, 11 years of worry and concern that may never fade, becomes part of me because isn't that how a mom is supposed to be? But my concerns aren't like most...or so that's how I feel; sensing the judgement of others because she lives with him and not her mother. Yea, it may not seem right, her living with him instead of me, but she's safe, isn't she? What matters most, her happiness or her safety? Shouldn't they both matter equally? You would think that would be a simple yes, but sometimes what makes her happy isn't always safe and what makes her safe doesn't always keep her happy...what an annoying conundrum, right? And I guess that's the ongoing cycle of what my mom guilt is, never being sure what is truly right for her and the decisions I've made for her, hoping she's grateful and an upstanding citizen in the end. Another mom guilt; the lack of communication between her and I. Every other weekend is the only time I see and speak to her, but every time we see each other it's as if no time has passed and she never hesitates to vocalize how much she loves her mommy. So, was it fear of her forgetting me my mom guilt, or is it my fear of judgement by other moms who communicate with their child daily? It could be the latter or it could be both, but I learned that my relationship with her is like no other and although it doesn't fit what's considered "normal" in momhood, I need to remind myself: I became a mom at 22 and within those 10 years I struggled. Now she is in a better environment than she was before, whereas it’s no longer a struggle to maintain my sanity to make ends meet while pretending everything is okay. I no longer need to yell and scream when I’m stressed when it was never her fault to began with, and even if, she doesn’t deserve that part of me. It’s been a little over a year since she’s been under his care. I’ve had my doubts and concerns prior but now that time has passed and have been able to witness her life on the other side, my only struggle is returning back to me. It’s a daily journey, some good days and some bad, but it’s a journey that brings me closer to my self healing.

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

Quick morning walk chill break ☀️#goodmorning #riseandgrind #dogmom https://www.instagram.com/p/Cf_e2csrHah/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

Phone Booth in 2022 #raresighting #retrovibes (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cf7Kj_cPHsk/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[blackloveeeee]

Black Celebrity Couples 🤎 via Twitter

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

#TBT @angthealien 💜💜💜 https://www.instagram.com/p/CfuyYoar8Oj/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[honeyjaxx]

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

Job vs. Career

It's hard for me to pick either or. I enjoy working for myself but I also like working for others. So, I guess the real question is, can I do both? I quit my job because it felt necessary at the time. Now, with the times we are currently in and where the economy seems to be headed, going back to work seems like the safest bet, at least until I can get somewhere with the brand I'm trying to build because these bills don't pay themselves and if I can find a reasonable job, that'll give me the income I need without being over worked and underpaid for my services, that would be a great start. No lie, I'm still a bit nervous about going back into the office, so I'm not sure if going back to a 9-5 is for me anymore. But I also need an income to take care of myself and the needs of my baby girl, so here lies the dilemma. At this point I am relying on the universe to guide me wherever I need to go...

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

I made 🧋 and put it in my 🧋 cup 🥰💜🫶🏽 #boba4life #tapioca #obsessed https://www.instagram.com/p/CfP-D64LARL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

Happy Friday ☺️ #streetstyle #summervibes #selfie https://www.instagram.com/p/CfMwZo5JaQI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

My protector ☺️🐾💜 #dogmom (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CfCUj5hLbuC/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

The only man I call Dad til this day. He already knows how I feel but I want the world to know how much I love this man. He is the reason I got my first job. He is the reason I’m a spoiled brat lol. He may not be my “real dad” but he will always be MY dad because he treated me how I feel a daughter should be treated. I love you Dad and I wish you a beautiful Father’s Day 💜 https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce-4q4POFQe/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[gay-fae]

hey shout out of recognition and validation to all the queer people who didn’t exhibit many queer behaviors or have queer many experiences when they were young!! shout out to trans women and trans men who didn’t feel bad about or uncomfortable with their AGAB when they were younger and didn’t gravitate toward the “opposite side of things”. shout out to nonbinary and genderfluid ppl who felt content with their AGAB all of their childhood or even teen years. shout out to lesbians who didn’t have any crushes on girls growing up and liked traditionally feminine things and shout out to gay men who didn’t have any crushes on boys growing up and liked traditionally masculine things. shout out to bi and pan and omni people who only had hetero attractions growing up. shout out to aros and aces who thought they experienced crushes or attraction or whatever while growing up and didn’t feel excluded by being surrounded by allo people. shout out to literally any queer people who didn’t “show the signs” growing up because that can make you feel invalidated or worried that you’re faking it and you shouldn’t feel worried about that! When we say that everyone’s journey and experience is different, that includes you!! Happy pride month <3

[metaphysicalenthusiast]

Love Does Not Equal War

A man calling a woman a bitch in a heated discussion should never be warranted or taken lightly. We can always agree to disagree but if a man feels the need to call any woman a bitch and insecure due to difference of opinions, that's telling more about your character than the women you are having a discussion or argument with. Men and women can have a difference of opinions and perspectives without getting out right disrespectful but a man calling a woman a bitch is a choice. Creating a narrative that a woman is attacking you or your character, therefore giving you reason to call her a bitch, simply because she has her own opinion is immature. Men who still feel the need to verbally attack women based on having a difference of opinion should take a look in the mirror because all it does is show us women your insecurities and how much you despise the opposite sex, internally. It shows your lack of compassion towards women's emotional needs because deep down you believe your emotional needs are more important. Men, as you get older, you have a choice in how you communicate with the women you claim are important in your life. If calling a woman a bitch in a heated discussion is "how you communicate", can you honestly say you respect women? Love is not disrespect. By making a choice to verbally disrespect the woman you love, hurts the relationship more than it hurts the woman herself because despite how much a woman may love you and continuously choose you, your choice to consistently disrespect her, whether it be verbal or physical, gives her reason to either make a choice to hate you, love herself more and eventually make the choice to be on her own. Not every woman who chooses to be independent is out to destroy men, neither do we want to be like y'all nor hate y'all. We simply want to share a deeper connection with you. Isn't that what all people want at the end of the day?