The Agony and the Metsasy

on the exquisite torture of being a Mets fan

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June 5, 2018 Os 2 - Mets 1

You can’t give a good team extra outs. The Mets, on the other hand, you can give ‘em anything and they won’t take advantage--walks, errors, wild pitches. All those can be squashed with a few timely popups and DPs. I’m looking at you Gonzo and Asdrubel.

Agony Index: Such a relief to watch the bullpen NOT blow a lead. Easier to do when you never have a lead, but still. I’ll give it only 2 outta 5 Rey Ordonez, largely because I missed the first two innings so what I saw was Mets 1 - Os 0. Seriously though Gonzo, with nobody out you have GOT to get the runner to 3rd. Bautista’s sac fly--yes, the only Mets highlight was a sac fly--should’ve scored the tying run not the only run. I just got pissed off thinking about it. Just earned another Ordonez. Look at that power!

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no one’s testing for this sh*t right?

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May 30, 2018 Mets 4 - Larrys 1

Am I supposed to feel encouraged? Because, what, Vargas has turned a corner? Because Tim Peterson only giving up 1 home run makes him Randy McDowell? Am I supposed to believe the double play that saved Familia’s ass is sustainable defense? Today’s 3-4-5 hitters are all hitting in the .220s. deGrom has 7 no decisions in his last 9 starts despite a 1 and a half ERA. We’ve seen this show before. It doesn’t end well. The only joy in watching this team is named Brandon Nimmo. 

For a normal team today’s win would be worth celebrating. Clutch hitting, strong pitching, timely defense. But this team isn’t normal. Forget it Jake, it’s the Mets. 

Agony Index: Even the wins are painful when you spend the whole game waiting for the bullpen to implode. 4 outta 5 (pre-roid) Jennrys

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exquisite no, torture yes

I can’t even do recaps for this series. they’re breaking my heart. finding new and inventive ways to lose, as well as the old standys--cough--bullpen implosion, crap defense, untimely hitting. just win, baby. otherwise, I can’t bear to watch anymore.

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May 23, 2018 Fish 2 - Mets 1

This game speaks for itself. Brilliant DeGrom undone by another night of pathetic offense and Familia winner the mayor’s race for Choke City. Just. Effing. Awful.

Agony Index: 5 outta 5 John Francos.

note, unlike this one, tonight’s game does no have happy ending.

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May 23, 2018 Fish 5 - Mets 1

I wonder if (new CIA Director) Gina Haspel would renounce having Mets fans watch 2018 Jose Reyes. Because it is absolute torture, I mean enhanced interrogation, actually no I mean torture. Wheeler fought and deserved better. This was a game until Reyes threw it away, literally. Ramos didn’t help, but imagine if we weren’t losing all night because Jose can’t get the ball all the way to first on a fly. Please make it stop. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Just MAKE IT STOP. No mas, begging here, no mas Reyes.

Agony Index: 4 outta 5 Lucas Duda Outfield Experiments

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May 21 2018 Mets 2 - Fish 0

Vargas gets a win, words I never thought would pass my lips. Can we give a hockey assist to Jeter for assembling this Rookie Ball lineup? There’s young and good--see Philly, Atlanta--and young and ugly. Half those Miami guppies should still be swinging aluminum bats. Still, Vargas’ changeup command was on point and on target. Cabbie and Wilmer Came Clutch again. And Amed’s athleticism dazzled both ways, on the basepaths first to home in 10 seconds, at short with a sweet play in the hole and a laser throw to first for the final out.

Agony Index: Blue squeezes Sewald and Blevins back to back in the 6th to load the bases, gets crossed up (along with Mesoraco) and misses another strike on Ramos’ first pitch. But AJ rallies from a 2-0 count to and drops a nasty hook at 2-2 for the K. Rest of the way was smooth sailing to a 4th straight W. Offense is doing just enough to sneak by some struggling lineups these last two series. Probably not sustainable long haul, but enjoying it while it lasts. I’ll give it 2 outta 5 Monteros for Mickey bringing in a pitcher with control problems with the bases loaded in a 1 run game.

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May 20th, 2018 Mets 4 - Backs 1

You don’t have to watch Cobra Kai on YouTube Red to see a sweep baby, not with Bruce gunning down a runner at the plate, Rosario beating up on the left field M&M’s like they owe him money, Cabrera’s pinch-hit-7-pitch-2-run-how-’bout-a-4th-win-for-a-very-deserving-Thor dinger, and Gsellman’s first career save—with extra credit for 5 outs and striking out the side in the 9th! Something’s wrong, I’m starting to believe.

Even Ball Boy “Brooks” (Robinson) got in on the action, which Keith loved almost as much as Nimmo’s massive feet. Sorry Keith, “gunboats.” Shades of Rex Ryan.

Ecstasy Index: 2 outta 2 Balling Bowed Baby Boy Blevins

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May 19, 2018 Mets 5 - Snakes 4

Mickey pinch hit for Matz in the 4th--THE 4TH!--in a 2 run game. And the sad thing is, it was almost certainly the right decision, after an old yankees backup catcher beat him FOR THE SECOND TIME WITH TWO OUTS AND THE PITCHER ON DECK in the top of the inning. Yet which double-barreled failure was more painful, that or Mesoraco and Reyes popping out with bases just sagging with teammates in the 6th? But unlike Reyes--who it’s become straight-up painful to watch--all was not lost for Mesoraco. 2 run tying touch-em-all in the 8th. Best thing Harvey’s done all year. Then Nimmo nearly wins it by himself in the 9th. Gets help from a gorgeous against-the-shift lay one down by Cabrera. Cabby, please teach everyone how to do this. How come no one hitting UNDER .300 ever pulls this off? And “Walk Off Wilmer” for the Win.

Agony Index: surprisingly high for such a stirring victory. 3 outta 5 Big Baby Flexens, because that’s about where my Matz confidence level’s sitting. 

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May 18, 2018 Mets 3 - Snakes 1

Agony Index: Ecstasy! Score early, never trail, cash first 2 runs on 1 hit. DeGrom fans 13. Familia whiffs the side for the save. Conforto busts out with a 4-4, hitting 3 the other way so Keith has to change his shorts. I give it 9 outta 10 Dr. Ks. 1985 Dr. Ks.

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May 15, 2018 Mets 12 - Jays 2 May 16, 2018 Jays 12 - Mets 1

If I had told you we’d outscore the opposition by 10 runs in the opener of an abbreviated two-game set, and still end up with a -1 run differential, you would have said, “yeah, that sounds about right.” What a perfect encapsulation of this beyond frustrating team. Team can’t string two good games together. Does two even count as a “string?” It’s definitely not a streak. Neither Wheeler nor Matz can string together two good starts. I missed both these games, yet feel I missed nothing. 

Agony Index: It’s a wash. I give it 1 outta 1 this guy:

2000 playoffs. Start 1: Complete Game Shutout. Start 2: 6 runs, chased after 4 innings. And to cement his mediocrity, Start 3: 5 innings, 3 runs. Postseason ERA 4.50

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May 13, 2018

To quote my friend Frank:

“41 years. They haven’t killed me yet. But they try.”

Agony Index: eased by watching with super fans, raised by the first 9 hits yielding 1 run.

3 out of 5 Bonillas

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Looking the Fool!

CONFORTO! MESORACO! BACK TO BACK, BABY! 

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