it hurts at first, but, it gets better | maggie + jazz
Maggie had puffy eyes, a snotty nose, and a dog who was too restless to cuddle her anymore. It didn't take very long before he edged away from her and jumped off the bed to eat, or beg someone to take him out because she wasn't in any state to do so. Upon initially texting Jasper, she did want to ask him to come over, and there was a part of her that was extremely happy that she didn't even have to ask for him to offer. He was always a good friend of hers. Even when they just first started speaking, there was a connection there that just clicked and it didn't matter if they haven't talked for what seemed like forever; they'd be there for each other. A lazy hand grabbed for a(nother) tissue, rubbing at the already red nose and blowing it before wiping at stray tears that seemed to still fall down her face. It was when she dropped the paper into the trash bin did she hear the door opening more and steps stopping inside of her room. Her head picked up to stop staring at the wall and looked at her friend, not moving for a moment as she observed his hand and his face before she was picking herself up to scoot over on the bed and rubbing at the bed for him to join her. "What the fuck happened to you?" Chain smoking, not talking, and crying did fucking wonders for her vocal chords, her voice coming out scratchy and cracked.
Jasper broke into a grin even though it hurt, even though everything hurt, at Maggie's sharp demand. He shrugged. "Fightin'," he gave by way of explanation, pushing off the doorframe to drop down heavily on the bed next to her, slinging an arm around her shoulders and then dropping back, bringing her down with him. "Hittin' anyone I think..." he trailed off in a sigh, turning his head to press it into the crook of her neck and then rolling them both over, pulling Maggie's back up against his torso. He held tight around her waist and pulled them up the bed somewhat, then pressed his nose back to run a line over the back of her neck. "Hit a wall. On lots of painkillers," he informed her, bringing his hand back to rub his fingers in against the hard muscle of her shoulder. "Sound like your vocal chords were ripped out by wolves,"
Maggie didn't have the energy to roll her eyes, instead settling on amused scoff as he approached her. Eyebrows furrowed together, initially thinking he meant that he was hitting anyone and about to scold him on that. Until she realized he trailed off and her lips instantly pressed into a thin line before she was looking between them and sniffling. She had seen the sketch they put up a day or two ago, because sometimes she watched the news only to see if they had caught him. They hadn't, apparently. Maggie didn't fight it when Jasper was turning the two around and his chest was to her back. Spooning was her preferred way of cuddling when she was sad, anyway. "Want to give me some?" she forced out a chuckle, half teasing but also half knowing she wouldn't mind a high. Especially a loopy one. "Fucking feels like it, too," she murmured, clearing her throat afterwards and shutting her eyes as she relaxed under his touch. "Better than looking like you were attacked by 'em."
Jasper "Nah, you gotta make sure I don't start thinkin' I can fly and try to leap out the window," Jasper rebuffed, nuzzling her neck again. There was a part of him, a very loud part of him, that was protesting vehemently to the idea of helping Maggie get stoned, or drunk, or anything - sure, she was an adult, technically, but she was still a kid in his head in some ways and the need to protect her was ridiculously overwhelming; most importantly, the need to protect her from herself. "Quit smokin'," he ordered, obviously teasing, then let out a sigh. "I look sexy," he protested softly, moving his hand to run his knuckles against the base of her jaw. "You sound sexy," he added, then dropped his hand back to her waist, running his thumb against it. "And sad,"
Maggie "I wouldn't let you do that before putting on tights first," she sniffled instead of laughed, but, the corners of her lips quirked up in the slightest at the picture of Jasper in tights. Henry Cavill would have nothing on him. "Quit getting into fights," she ordered/teased right back, almost positive that there was a hint of seriousness in both of their demands. It's not like Maggie was the queen of staying out of trouble, but, she didn't normally get into fights. Ones that weren't verbal, anyway. Excluding the camp week. His touch moved to her jaw causing her to move her head and opening her eyes to look behind her to peer at him. "I am," she admitted with a nod of her head, turning in his arms and moving her face to dig into his shoulder as she sniffed hard. "You look sad, too," she murmured, face moving to rest her cheek a moment later. Seeing the bruises and cuts up close, actually observing them; they made her stomach churn. "If you get yourself killed, I'm never going to fucking forgive you," she got choked up halfway through the sentence, turning her head away and averting her gaze. "You're stupid looking for trouble like that, oh my god." It seemingly only hit her then how dangerous it was. How dangerous this place was.
Jasper laughed out in a snort, rolling onto his back a moment to stare up at the ceiling. "My dick would tear a hole in 'em," he insisted childishly, and rolled back over to her, draping his arm once more over her body. "You know that ain't gonna happen," he argued - it was one thing he wouldn't budge on; generally Jasper could accede to logic, especially from those he knew were smarter than him, but fighting was all he had; something he understood explicitly. Especially in situations like this one. He shifted as she rolled over, tightening his grip around her. "I know," he mumbled into her hair, pressing his lips to it and making a sound of agreement in the back of his throat. "I am sad," he echoed, setting his head back to look down at her. "Hey, hey, no," he insisted as soon as her voice broke, moving to press his lips to her forehead and run a hand over the back of her head. "I ain't gonna die, Mags. I ain't ever gonna leave ya, not so long as you don't want me too," he shifted back again, meeting her gaze and pressing his fingers to either side of her jaw and tilting her head back to look at him. "We're gonna be okay,"
Maggie didn't exactly find comfort in what he said, but, she figured she wouldn't be finding comfort anytime soon nonetheless. The streets would feel more dangerous to her than they did when Isaac got stabbed. She'd remember to stick her hand in her purse again and clench onto the pepper spray Mateo got for her because walking alone would make her feel uneasy. Lips pressed into a thin line, an involuntary whine then whimper leaving her before she just nodded. They were going to be okay, according to Jasper. And, she guessed he wasn't wrong. How could he be? People died every day. The loved ones in their lives grieved, and then moved on. But, it didn't feel like it was going to be okay. "He was a good guy, Jazz." She didn't know what else to say, her fingers moving to curl into his shirt, tightening the hold as she let out a deep breath as she did allow herself to look back at him. "I mean, there are actual shit people who live to be a hundred and fucking four but he's not even twenty yet and he--" It was a cliche realization. Cliche speech. But, it's not until someone experiences something like this do they know how heavy the words are.
Jasper furrowed his brow in concentration as he listened to Maggie speak, moving his hand to cover hers over his shirt and giving a nod. "I know, Mags," he said softly, nodding again with the following sentence and sucking his own breath in as she cut herself off. He considered a moment, eyes flicking between hers, then reached out to brush her hair behind her ear before speaking. "My ma used to say that we're here as long as need to be," he said, soft in it and trying to reconcile the values he'd been raised with with the near homicidal urges pulsing every time he considered Marek's death. "Learn what we gotta learn in this soul. This mind," he moved his hand to point at her chest, tip of his finger pressing carefully to her collarbone. "Cause we got more than one. Our souls decide what life they wanna live. What lessons they gotta learn; they pick your family for ya. S'why you gotta keep on when everything is bad; it's bad for a reason, you're s'posed to be learnin' somethin'," he shrugged, one shouldered and feeling terribly clumsy and uncomfortable in it. "Maybe he learned all he'd planned on learnin'. Maybe that's how it was s'posed to go," he wrapped an arm back around her, holding her against him and letting out a shuddering sigh. "Don't make it hurt less, I know,"
Maggie could only nod as Jasper spoke, not really wrapping her mind around what was being said. Once she did register the words, she didn't agree with them. Not one bit. But, if that was Jasper's way of looking at things, to make them easier for him-- she wasn't going to spit on that. Sometimes she was able to have a filter, and she was glad this ended up being one of those times. "It doesn't," she sniffled and could feel the headache she was facing before come back. Crying really shouldn't be this physically painful. It was like kicking someone when they were already down to add headaches on top of everything else. Instead of saying anything, she just shook her head and nuzzled her face into Jasper's chest. Perhaps she'd apologize later for probably leaving his shirt damp and snotty, but, right now-- she didn't really care. She just wanted to be held, and fall asleep, and wake up to feel at least a little better than she did right now.
Jasper ran his hand back over the back of his head, pressing his lips to the top of it and then lying back down properly. He wasn't sure anything he had said meant anything to her, but if she just wanted to sleep that was fine. He should probably sleep, too, with swimming vision and aching everything. "D'you want me to call anyone, Mags?" he asked, unsure if he was really what she needed right now, but wrapped his arms tighter around her nonetheless.
Maggie "No," she answered, her fingers tightening around his shirt as a way to keep him there. There were others she was closer to; Lily, Mateo, Mimi. But, right now she wanted Jasper. It would feel like a burden to have anyone else see her like this right now, however, it didn't feel that way with Jasper. She wasn't quite sure why, though, she wasn't questioning it. "Stay."
Jasper let out a sigh despite himself at the single syllable, more relieved in it than anything, and tightened his arms around her body in response. He closed his eyes, setting his chin against the top of his head, and made a small sound of recognition in the back of his throat. "Always," he promised softly, moving a hand down to hold her by the waist, hand spanned out wide against her back and settling to stay the night.