Assorted Middle School Memories Pt. 1
*This is a first-ditch effort at using the Internet for things other than reading hyperbolically dramatic posts on Buzzfeed, "keeping in touch" with people on Facebook, and well, pretty much wasting a bunch of time on Instagram. It's been so long since I've actually posted on this, I don't even know if anyone's going to read anything I post anymore. But screw it, you gotta do things for yourself first and foremost, right? Otherwise, what's the point?
Often, I find myself thinking back on the past, just trying to remember things both good and bad. A few months ago, I tried logging onto my old Xanga account to read back on all of my old embarassing posts. To my horror, I found out that the site was massively overhauled into Xanga 2.0. And my posts were all archived, but were pretty much unretrievable. So, now I have to reminisce the hard way. I know I'm rambling quite a bit and beating around the bush to get to the point, but as much as I want to look back and reflect, it's hard to really just roll up my sleeves and dive on in. Elementary school was a rosy crapshoot of memories that while certainly pleasant and fond, aren't really the meat of what I'm trying to pull out of my brain. So, we're going to skip on ahead to middle school! It's hard to believe that 10 years ago, I was 13 years old, confused, prone to random fits of anger, watched way too much TV/movies, and constantly searching for a way to related to the world around him. Now, I'm 23 and more or less the same. I guess in doing this, I just want to try and remember where I came from, and look at where I'm going with a sense of hope, humor and optimism.
To be quite honest, I was kind of a dork in 6th grade. Well, I'm still a dork right now, but that's besides the point. What I'm trying to say is I certainly didn't think of myself as "cool". I was still chubby, still chewed the crap out of my fingernails, and was pretty much awkwardly adjusting to a new school, and a ton of new people. Up until that point, I'd never seen so many other Filipino kids on a daily basis in my life. I remember the only times I really felt cool that year was once a month, during the dances at the community center. That was probably just because it was dark and my friends and I could ogle girls (both the ones we knew and the ones we didn't) and commend each other for "freaking" on the ladies. Sweet Jesus, what a horrible time...
Back in 7th grade, everything just seemed so... important. Including the things that really didn't mean shit. Wait, I take that back - ESPECIALLY the things that didn't really mean shit. But I went to extremely great lengths to preserve my sense of self and (oh God, I can't believe I'm actually using this word) my "image". I cursed like a sailor, dropping F-bombs like it was Hiro-fucking-shima and whenever Tiffany would visit from HIGH SCHOOL, she never hesitated to call me on it and tell me that I should stop swearing so much. Needless to say, the advice never quite sunk in.
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