Michelle Goes To Madagascar

Since high school I've had a huge desire to go to Africa, the summer of 2011 I had the fantastic opportunity of spending two months in Madagascar. I had the joy of witnessing the gospel being preached, and lasting relationships being built. This opportunity led to another opportunity to go back to Madagascar, but for 2.5 years. This blog will serve the purpose of updating you and providing a taste of Malagasy life.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

It's official. The team is done. #wemadeit

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A Story of Pursuit

A week ago I said goodbye to one of the sweetest girls I’ve ever met. She was a wonderful friend, and recently became a sister in Christ. As I said goodbye, with tears in my eyes I told her that I believed our friendship was one of the reasons God brought me to Madagascar. A year and a half ago I wrote a song about her, and how I clearly saw God pursuing her. A couple months ago, I saw her realize that. I heard her commit to following on Christ’s path. As I was leaving, Alexis (one of the new Christians) said that we could have come to any village, but God brought us to Bemanondrohely. And I believe that whole-heartedly. He brought us to Bemanondrohely, and He put Angela in my path as my language helper. I said to Angela that our friendship was part of my purpose in being here, but what is my purpose in going back to Canada? I told her that there may be many reasons- but one is to share her story and to ask people to pray for her. Angela is a beautiful 21 year old girl. She is almost 8 months pregnant, and has 2 other beautiful (and really silly) children, and one who passed away. She lives with her husband in Bemanondrohely, but she told me shortly before I left that she is saving money to build her own house. Her husband is a drunk, and is abusive. She clearly loves him, and has been with him for 7 years, but she is fed up- and is tired of being scared. This means that she is leaving the village where a Sakalava church is being planted. She has told me that she still plans on coming to the church and to the Bible study- but it will now be about a 40 minute walk each way. Her prayer is that she would “tsy mimpody afara” which means to not turn back. She knows it’s going to be difficult, and she gives a big thanks for all the prayers that are being said for her. Leaving Nosy Be, knowing all this is difficult. I want to be there to encourage her to keep coming out. I want to make sure someone is visiting her, loving on her, and teaching her. But here is what I know. I was given a beautiful gift of being a vessel of God’s pursuit of Angela. I was not pursuing her. It was not my words, or my actions, or gifts or anything that brought her to Christ. It was God’s pursuit. And He can, and will continue that without me. I am not much different than Angela (aside from being a little behind in the child-bearing situation). I too need prayer to “tsy mimpody afara” (not turn back). My tendency is to forget about the grace God gives me. I forget who is is. I forget what matters. So many times in my life I have fallen short. I’ve lost sight of Christ, I’ve decided what I want is more important, I’ve walked away from the cross and into sin. And still, God has used so many different people, and situations to show me grace, and to make His pursuit known to me. I’ve been given forgiveness so undeserved, love so relentless, grace so abounding. Just as God has continued to pursue me in my ugliness, and sinfulness- He will continue to pursue Angela, no matter where she turns. Angela may fall, she may stop coming to the gatherings, she may marry another guy that I wish she’d stay away from. But that doesn’t change who God is. It doesn’t change that God is a God of pursuit. He will keep calling her. He will keep loving her. He will keep pursuing her. Yesterday, I had the wonderful privilege of attending a Bible Study in Swahili (which I understood none of- but had a friend translating parts). They read and talked about John 10:1-15. Verses 3-4 made me think of Angela. “The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice.” God will go before Angela, wherever she goes, and that brings more comfort to me than it would if I were right there beside her. Pray with me for Angela, a girl who’s walk with Christ is about to get so much harder, but a girl that has been given such strength and so much grace and who has committed to following Christ, no matter the difficulties.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

Waking up at this villa has become commonplace. Each month we were recommended to take a ‘weekend away’ and because our team leader, Rosina owns this villa we were able to get a great price on it. Most weekends away were here. And although it has become commonplace, as I look over the ocean at the mountains and the beautiful pastel colours across the sky- I am still in awe of its beauty.

I’m sitting on the balcony with the cool winter breeze and the soft lighting of the sky, as the sun is still hidden behind the hills. Looking out at the beach I can see the remnants of our fire from last night. We gathered around a fire for a time of worship and reflection of what God has done.

And He has been so good.

There is so much to praise God for, from protection while my hut was broken into, for unending grace for our mistakes and failures, for friendships formed, for the incredible blessing of seeing fruit of this ministry we’ve been blessed to be a part of, and the list goes on.

As I sit and reflect on these things with the sound of the waves sweeping the shore, I can’t help but be sad that this is the end of an incredibly blessed two+ years. It hasn’t always been ‘good’ and it definitely hasn’t always been easy but it has been blessed.

Nosy Be has become home. The ocean, the mountain views, the beautiful hikes, the animals, the plants, but most importantly; the people.

Two years ago I stood in front of my church in tears and thanked you for making Ontario such a hard place to leave. It was hard to leave home, it was hard to leave family and friends. But I wrote in a post that the difficulty in leaving only alluded to immense blessing. It was hard because of the friendships and support and amazing life God had given me in Chatham.

So, what seems like a whole other life later, here I am- thankful that this place is so hard to leave. I’m two weeks away from getting on a plane, and from saying goodbye to this home.

And although that is sad, and there is sure to be many tears- I can’t help but be thankful.

God has relentlessly pursued, protected and provided.

As a request for prayer, I’ll just add some dates of where I will be in the upcoming weeks/months. Pray as I travel, transition and say goodbyes.

August 15th- Flying out of Nosy Be to the capital city for a debrief August 18th- Flying to Tanzania

Aug. 18-Sept 6- Part of the TIMO curriculum is to observe another ministry for a month. I will be with a missionary I met in Kenya who has a ministry working with preschool kids. 

Sept 6-30 is another week of observing a ministry, and some vacation time. I will be visiting friends of friends of mine and going to the TIMO headquarters to stay until the team joins on...

Oct 1-9- debrief with TIMO and goodbyes to the team.

October 10- arrive in London, England to visit with my brother for a week.

October 16th (3:55pm)- Fly into the Toronto airport.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

An Official Announcement!

39 is an incredibly small number. And when I think about it’s significance it seems insufficient. In 39 days I leave the place I’ve called home for the past 2+ years.

Right now, my team has six short-termers staying with us for a month. One of them asked me how my time here has been. I said that was a difficult question because some days I would have said it was incredible, and other days seemed to drag on and on. The first few months flew by, some time in the middle made two years seem like an eternity but these last six months are a blur. It’s like I blinked and they were over.

In just over a month I will say goodbye to the friends I have made and the home that God has made for me here. This has been a big weight on my shoulders these last few weeks. I have heard many stories/articles/books/etc about how transitioning back to your home culture as a missionary is incredibly difficult. It can be lonely, and confusing and frustrating. I also know how much my heart is invested in the people on Nosy Be and in the ministry God has at work here.

In many ways, I feel like staying here would be the easier option. (Of course, life is still extremely hard here, and I don’t mean to downplay cross-cultural living). However, I do not feel that God is calling me to another term here in Madagascar.

Several months ago I emailed the Canadian AIM office and asked for some information on mobilizing (the position of helping/recruiting others get to the mission field). I’m not really sure why I did that. At that point I still thought I would be right back in Mada for another term. I also thought that what I thought the position entailed might be a little romanticized and that there was no way a position would be available.

However, the response I got confirmed that what I envisioned mobilizing being, was right. I was also told that the Ontario office had been praying for another mobilizer.

God continued to open doors, and close others. And I am happy to announce that after a home assignment from October-sometime early in 2016, I will begin a new position as a mobilizer with AIM. This means that I will be living in Chatham, and I also plan to be very involved in ministries at Emmanuel Baptist Church.

God, in His perfect timing has given me a beautiful gift in having the team of short-termers here with us. Part of our job as hosts to these short-termers is to debrief them about their experiences here, and also to encourage them in what their role in missions is, and especially to challenge them that even if long term missions isn’t for them- we are all called to be involved in global missions to some extent whether it’s actually being on the field or supporting financially or prayerfully.

Having these six people here has been wonderful. It has reminded me how amazing it is to hear about people who want to know more about missions, who are willing to sacrifice their time and money to go and share the good news. It is a blessing to encourage and challenge people in that and it has made me really excited for this new position that I will have with AIM.

Over the next fews weeks I would love prayer for transitioning out, peace through goodbyes, confidence that God will continue to build His church here, and safety as I will be travelling through six different countries over the next three months.

Thank you so much for your continued support, love and prayers.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

Pedis, hot chocolate, popcorn, psalm 139, and lots of laughs make for a great morning.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

Seeds to Fruit

14,497 kms away from Ontario is the Island of Madagascar. 15km off the shore is an island called Nosy Be. Just under an hours walk into the jungle is a tiny village, called Bemanandrohely comprised mostly of one family.

This village is surrounded by trees, rice fields, a small creek and a few gardens. There is no school, no shops, and no church.

The people of this village live off of their rice fields, some leaves they can grow in their gardens, a root called cassava, and they are abe to make charcoal to cook with and to sell for some extra money.

Their traditions and values are deeply rooted in ancestor worship.

God has hand picked this tiny village to be where myself and another family on my team would be stationed for two and a half years. Since before I knew this village existed, God has been working in their hearts, and pulling this together.

The very first house walking into the village is the home of Alexis and Mbotizara. (Mbotizara is one of the two women that makes the headbands with me.) They have six boys and one daughter. Alexander, Nono, Zoelle, Derick, Rodrick, Ronaldo, and Alexandrine.

About a month ago, my team leader, Rosina offered to the village that if they ever wanted us to come into their homes to share more about what we have talked about during the gatherings that we would love to. No one spoke up.

Then, on Friday, after a hard week in the village, Claudio’s death, and many people sick with fevers we had another gathering. We told the story of Jesus death. We told them why it was important. We told them that Jesus is the only way to God.

And to be honest we were a little discouraged because the kids were extra loud and people seemed to be distracted. We didn’t know how much they were listening.

But that night, the team got a text from Rosina saying that Alexis has asked us to come into his home with stories from the Bible.

We were so excited! On Sunday, we planned what we would do. We decided to tell the story of Zacchaeus. It would be read twice, and then we would ask them to repeat it. We would ask some questions and then pray.

We got together on Tuesday, before we had arranged to go to Alexis’ house. We reviewed the plan, and prayed together. “May the seeds that have been planted turn to fruit”.

We were not prepared for what we were about to hear. We arrived at their hut, and after the typical greetings, Alexis said that he wanted to explain why he has asked us to come into his home. He said, I know that there has been sickness, but that just goes with life, this is something more. I know that I have big sins, and I need help. I want God to rescue me from that.

Then Mbotizara spoke up and said that she wanted God to make her heart soft. She confessed that she gets angry if she hears gossip about her, and that she has broken friendships. She asked for God to help make her heart ‘clean’.

We told the story of Zacchaeus, and noticed that there were many similarities with his story and theirs. They were both inviting Jesus into their homes. And Alexis noted that like Zacchaeus, there might be people that grumble about him having Jesus in his home, but that he would not be embarrassed because he knows that Jesus is the only way.

After we were done with the story and with questions about it- we prayed, and Alexis and Mbotizara prayed out loud with us. What an amazing experience.

After we were done, I sat down with Mbotizara and Angela to sew and I asked Mboti if she remembered the story. She said she did, and I said Angela would like to hear it. She was able to tell the whole story, and at the end Angela said that it was similar to the stories we had shared at other gatherings.

God is pursuing my friends here in Nosy Be. He is changing hearts.

There is a song that I have been learning to play on guitar and after hearing that Alexis invited us into his home, I played it and the words seemed to describe exactly what God is doing here.

“Your love is like a sunrise; shattering the dark of night… You’re filling all the world with light. You’re making every wrong thing right. You’re waking up the dead to life in Your love. God you’re always breaking through the dark, breaking into lives and healing hearts… Your love is making all things new.”

Please join me in praying for this village. God is at work and the devil is not going to be happy about it. Pray for strength for Alexis especially as he leads his family. Pray that they would have confidence when others might laugh or gossip about them. Pray that God would continue to teach and disciple them. Pray for continuing radial change in this village! And praise God that no boundaries hold him back from His people.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

There is no earthly reason that can justify a child’s death. It makes us sick to our stomach to hear of children who never got the chance to grow up. It breaks our hearts. And it should. Such innocence, such joy, shouldn’t be taken from us.

It is a heart-breaking reminder that we live in a broken world. We live in an unfair, fallen place where sickness and death steal our loved ones.

Sakalava tradition says that the body is walked from the village to the burial site. People walk alongside, some leaving after a few steps, some about halfway, and people who are able, and usually close to the family will stay until the body is buried.

They took a difficult trail, one that led up hill after hill (or so it seemed). Many people asked “Anao afaka?” which means, are you able (to make it up this hill). We continued on, and the men dug the grave until it got dark.

Sakalava culture is very different from our North American ways. Men were drinking and laughing and having fun while digging the hole, while I stood there quietly, trying to hold back tears for this little life that was taken too soon. It was hard not to be angry with how lightly they seemed to be taking it. I had to continually remind myself that it is a different culture and my way is not the ‘right’ way. It’s just the only thing I know.

Crying is not as commonplace here, instead, they wail. When you meet the immediate family for the first time, you approach them wailing.

The day I found out about Claudio’s death, I sat with Angela most of the day as people came in and out of the hut. When I entered, she cried “my son is gone”. I cried with her, and said very little, because what words would comfort a mother who lost her son? I brought her some brownies, and a gift of money (this is customary in Sakalava tradition to help pay for everything needed for the funeral).

Angela also asked me if she could have the money she made from sewing. Because of the headbands, she was able to have a large amount of money (by Sakalava standards) to help her with the funeral costs. God provides.

The sound of my friend, wailing as the body of her son left the village is etched in my memory. No mother should have to face that kind of pain.

Today, the day after the funeral we went forth with the gathering we had planned. We asked the family if they wanted us to postpone, because of the funeral, or go ahead with it as a way to comfort the family. They asked us to go ahead with it.

I opened the gathering, saying that our hearts are heavy, and that the days ahead are sure to be difficult, but the Bible says that God wants to comfort us. Rosina and a couple of my teammates shared the story of the cross. God sent His only son to die for us so that we could have life.

I sat beside Angela, with her other son, Silvano in my lap. As I looked over at her, she was singing along with each of the songs. Silvano, clapping along, until he fell asleep.

After the gathering was finished, my team leader gave Angela a hug, and she began to cry. She quickly went to her house after that.

After a few minutes, I felt the need to check on her. I went up to her house and sat with her. There was silence for a few minutes as I sat with my hand on her knee. And then she asked “Kabaro?” Which means what brings you here.

I told her that I saw she was sad, and wanted to be with her. We talked for a bit, she told me that the songs brought her comfort. And I told her I liked seeing her singing.

She said she asks God that He will make her well. And I said I did too. I said I was going back to my house and she said, “Thank you, you love me big”. I replied, “Marigny” (True).

Before I left, my mum wrote me a note that said I love people “big” and that it can get me hurt, but that God will use that. Hearing Angela say those words reaffirmed my purpose here. I don’t always see it, and sometimes it’s hard to see the effect we are making here (if any). There are days when it seems like there is no fruit. We wonder if people are really hearing what we’re saying at the gatherings. If they really know there is something different about our God and theirs. With the language barrier, friendships are hard. It’s hard to cross into the emotional stuff and not just the surface level laughs and jokes.

Hearing Angela say that she knew I loved her “big”, was proof that God is in this friendship. All the awkward silences, all the fumbling over words, the tears, the laughs, the language blunders, the sewing. God has formed all that into a friendship.

Before Angela, I had two language helpers that left the village. I was discouraged, and finally decided to ask Angela. That was the beginning of our friendship and I believe that God is pursuing her, and is using me (the broken vessel that I am) to comfort her and to point her in His direction, especially as she is suffering now.

My God loves big.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves were comforted by God.”   2 Corinthians 1:3-4

[michellegoestomadagascar]

The other day I was telling a friend that a lizard fell from my ceiling she said "cherish these moments"- which was possibly sarcastic- but in reality I'm living an amazing adventure. Lizards, chameleons and frogs have become commonplace. Today was a fairly normal, uneventful day- but soon I'll be looking back, remembering it as an amazing adventure. "Today, as most days, I woke up to the sound of chickens clucking, dogs barking and children yelling. I got my 'long-life milk' (yuck!) from the cooler (where I found all my ice had melted) and I poured myself a bowl of 'honey cheerios'. While I ate I read about how God turns wastelands to beauty. I was challenged to make the most of 'desert times' - not to just wait for God to bring me out of them. God has me where I am for a purpose so be there fully until the end. When I finished breakfast + devotions I opened up my windows and set my solar stuff out for the day. I was visited by my friend (14 yrs) Ziliata. She came to wash some floor mats and brush my deck with half a coconut. Then I went down to the creek to wash some clothes on the rocks (with Arlain and his mum) when I was finished I got a phone call saying my passport photos were needed in town for a new visa. I closed up the hut and set off for town. I took a short cut that led me through cobwebs, steep hills and lots of plants. I saw many butterflies, lizards and a long snake. I ran the rest of the way to the main road where I grabbed a tuk-tuk. I dropped off my pictures and after the expected complications with the visas it was time for lunch. I went to my favourite restaurant 'papillon' and got duck breast with a side of cheesy cauliflower. Then I grabbed a taxi with only four other people (normally there are about 7/8) I stopped for a quick visit at a teammates house and picked up a couple packages (one for me!) that another teammate had gotten from the post. I took two short cuts to take me to the main trail back to my village 'bemanandrohely' I saw a French man who spoke to me and I used the one thing I remember from French class 'je ne comprend pas francais'. He then used simple French and...

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Standard of Beauty

“When you get back to Canada everyone is going to be shocked at how big you’ve gotten.” I would consider myself a fairly grounded person in the looks department. Obviously I have my areas of insecurity, but I am able to go out without makeup, or without to much effort to my hair. I’d rather enjoy life (read:eating) then be super concerned about my weight. I try to treat my body well, exercise, get enough veggies and what not, but I’m not going to deprive myself of chocolate or Arbys, or large bowls of sugary cereal just so I can look a certain way. That being said, coming into a culture where it is good to be “large” but everyone is tiny, my perspective has changed a bit. Being “bigger” here is a sign of wealth- it means you have enough to eat. In Canada, no one would call me “big”. Partly because in our culture that’s rude, and partly because in the comparison game in Canada, I’m not. But here, it is a compliment, and in the comparison game, I am. So I am often told how big I am, or how I’ve gotten bigger. My closest friends will point out when my arms or stomach “jiggle” when I’m working in the garden. I mean, part of me doesn’t even want to write that- because it’s so engrained in me that its bad. I shouldn’t “jiggle”. I don’t want people to know about the embarrassing things that were said to me. I want to be mad at my friends for making me feel bad. But I can’t. Because they were being nice. They were genuinely complimenting me. It is an honour to be big. I am blessed to have more than enough to eat. I’m blessed to be healthy. I know that my friends think I am beautiful. So how can I take their words and turn them into something ugly? Just because in Canada/US we are taught that skinny is best, doesn’t mean it’s right. Don’t get me wrong, I’m probably still going to work out and try to get a little more in shape- but my point is that a little jiggle is not a bad thing. We are privileged to have strong, healthy bodies. We are privileged to have enough on our plates. Don’t turn something beautiful into something ugly.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

May Prayer Requests

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These are a Few of my Favourite Things

Two years ago, I stood in front of my church; Emmanuel, and thanked them for making Chatham such a hard place to leave. Two days after that I got on a plane, and two days later I arrived in Madagascar. It’s hard to believe that it’s already been two years, and that in 4 short months I will be leaving Nosy Be. These two years have not been without challenges, mistakes or tears.

However, these have been two of the most amazing years of my life. So many amazing experiences, lessons learned, and re-learned, people met, sights seen, etc etc. And today that’s what I want to focus on. So because I just turned 24 I thought I would make a list of 24 of my favourite things from the past two years. This list is not exhaustive, and is in no particular order.

1. My outhouse: There is nothing worse than when the house is all locked up, you’re all tucked into bed, (with the mozzy net down) and having to go to the bathroom; which is not only outside, but upstairs. However, there have been many nights that I close up the house without going outside and if it wasn’t for needing to use the bathroom- I would miss out on the stars. 2. The Christmas Gathering: This side of Heaven, I’m not sure if there is anything more beautiful than looking out and seeing a village that lives bound by the rules of their ancestors, singing at the top of their lungs “Oh Holy Night, this is the night of our dear Saviour’s birth”. 3. Sewing: The ministry I’ve started with women making headbands has been so great for relationship building. It gives me an opportunity to sit on their porch, or have them on mine and just sit with friends. 4. Florisha’s hugs: This girl was born while we were here, and she is the most smiley little thing. She’ll waddle over to me and just grab me by the legs with both of her arms. 5. Packages: Getting news that there is a package at the post is one of the most exciting things. A little bit of home goes a long way in lifting my spirits. I am SO grateful to all of you who have sent me a little love from Canada (or England). 6. Parental Visit: Being able to share Madagascar with my Mum and Dad was amazing. It was perfect, God timing - it worked out with Tori being away to have them stay in the house with me, and it was after the break in so they were able to replace missing items. It was so refreshing to get a hug from my mom and to play yahtzee with my dad. 7. Chicken fingers @ Zeburger: About a year ago one of our favourite restaurants on the island got a new menu and they added chicken fingers. They are amazing. 8. Meeting other missionaries: In October 2013 we went to an orientation in Kenya, where I met some of the sweetest missionaries. I have been blessed these past two years hearing about their teams and lives on the missions field. AIM Madagascar has a unit retreat each year- and there I was able to reconnect with two families that I met while in Madagascar on short term, and made new friends (see point 12) 9. God’s Relentless Pursuit to love me: I could write a whole blog on this- but I will sum it up by saying, every time I wander, God pursues with relentless love. 10. Having a lemur on my head/Holding a large boa 11. Archery: On my most recent weekend away, I had the opportunity to stay at a fancy resort (with a huge discount), and at this resort- they had an archery station, and it was wonderful.   12. Strawberry Cheesecake with other missionaries my age: We went out for thai food, we went back to the guest house and ate strawberry cheesecake. It was the most normal hang out with more than one person in their 20’s I’ve had this whole time in Madagascar. It was magical. 13. Lessons learned: Again, so much could be said but I’ll summarize: Challenges and struggles cause growth. 14. Making sushi in the hut: shrimp from the ocean. mangos from the jungle. avocado from the market. 15. Singing over Ancestor Worship: Our God is greater, Our God is stronger. God you are higher than any other. 16. New Years events: New Years is THE holiday here. Music, food, dancing, games. More food, lots of deep fried dough. 17. Coming home to a clean house after it was broken into: Feeling protected and cared for by my friends and neighbours was an awesome step forward in knowing them better and sharing life with them. 18. Looking at my neighbour, Lorette from across a crowd and making weird faces at each other. 19. Going to Ethiopia for vacation: I got to see my family, go to a movie theatre, get my hair braided, and go to Lalibela. Amazing. 20. Being able to go snorkelling for a weekend away: Swimming with turtles is fantastic. 21. Still feeling like a part of my church, youth group and friends lives because you have been intentional in supporting me. 22. Being pushed to see the ugliest parts of myself so that i can attempt to hand them over to God to be redeemed: “Maybe knowing your weakness means you know God more intimately. Maybe living overseas means becoming the person God created you to be” -Trotter 23. When i finally realize that what I’m feeling is thirst for God and quench that thirst with music or devotions. 24. My bed: It may not be in a room with good wifi, or electricity or even much needed air conditioning. It may not be the most comfortable. But coming home after a holiday or just a long day in town- this bed, this safe space under my mosquito net has become one of my favourite things. Once I zip up my net I’m safe from the bugs and mice and whatever else outside. My feet are up, and I can relax- free from all the days stresses. There isn’t a big cozy comforter, but somehow even when it’s too hot to use a thin sheet, it still seems cozy.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

[michellegoestomadagascar]

Blessing upon Blessing

(I actually wrote this a week ago, but had to wait before I could post the news that is at the end!) Coming to Madagascar and living somewhat simply, I’ve realized a few things that I too easily take for granted in Canada. Great medical care, being surrounded by friends and family, a church, dishwashers, certain restaurants, and the assurance that there isn’t a lizard in my ‘toilet’. However, today I was reminded I so often take for granted one of the greatest blessings in my life right now. I have been given the AMAZING privilege of being in Madagascar, to talk about and share the greatest love of my life. There are days when I look toward October and think it can’t come soon enough. Some days I’m just ready to be home. There are hard days, there are hard months, but being here is a gift. Yesterday was one of those hard days, I felt ready to be home, ready for the next thing God has for me, and then my favourite (shh, don’t tell the others) little girl came waddling up to me, wrapped both her arms around my legs and just stood there hugging me. Maybe this hasn’t been the easiest time in my life, and maybe some days Canada seems a little more appealing, but I wouldn’t trade a single day. I am so thankful to have been given this opportunity, and to be supported by so many people. I’m so excited about what God is doing here, and really I’m writing this blog to remind myself that I have no reason to complain. I’ve been given grace upon grace, and one of the biggest is that I’ve been allowed to be entrusted with the gospel. Maybe we haven’t seen anyone stand up and make a radical decision, but so many people are hearing for the first time about a God that is so personal and that loves them so much. It will be insanely great to one day get to Heaven and to hear about how God used this team, and the words that each of us fumbled over as we learned a new language, to plant seeds and to see how far He brought it. To hear the stories of Sakalava people who came to know Jesus. I mean, really. THAT is what this is about. So, yes. I have hard days. And yes, some nights I click my heels together three times and hope, like Dorothy, I’ll get home. But I have been given an amazing gift, and I would do well not to take these last 5 months here for granted. And now for a piece of news that makes me want to shout, and dance and sing. Around five years ago, I met a crazy girl. I was a youth leader, and she was in the youth group. She was funny, loud, ridiculous, and frankly, a lot like me. I knew that she loved Jesus, but she didn’t talk about it too much. Over the past five-ish years, I have had the amazing blessing of becoming this girls friend. Many weird hang outs later (involving a cap’n crunch cutout, two plastic rabbits, and all the Tim Hortons drive thrus in one night), I saw this girl become a strong, honest, bold and zealous person. She supported me when I came to Mada on a short term assignment, and she made a road trip to Chatham to support me when I was fund raising to come this time around. I have been immeasurably blessed to watch her grow and mature, and to see her go from a silly youth kid who was fun to be around, to a friend who challenges and encourages me (and is still ridiculous). If I could choose one person to share my love for Madagascar, and for missions, it would be this girl. And in a few months- that is exactly what is going to happen. Ladies and Gentlemen, Megan Kools is coming to Madagascar in July. There is a short-term program called TIMO quest, it’s purpose is to observe a TIMO team to get a feel for long term missions to know how to better pray for and support long term missionaries, or to see if it’s something that you feel called to. A team of 7-8 people will be coming, and I am thrilled that Megan is going to be one of those people. Please pray for Megan as she raises her support, and works through a giant check list of things to do before she arrives. :)

[michellegoestomadagascar]

Rats Ate My Underwear

Halfway through a science class in grade nine, I found a dead mouse in the bottom of my binder. It was burrowed between the ring and the zipper, and it was awful. Ever since then, my fear of mice/rats has been amplified.

Coming to Madagascar to live in a hut, I knew the reality that I would be sharing my home with many other creatures, and that occasionally that would mean living with mice and rats. Well now that I’m here, it is a reality in my life. The reality is that I wake up most mornings to mouse or rat poop on top of my mosquito net, on my kitchen table and beside my toothbrush. Rats have chewed everything from my favourite spatula, to the screens on my windows, to EIGHT pairs of my underwear. (Yes, I just wrote about my underwear in a blog).

I used to think that when you face your fears, you stop being afraid of them, but I have realized, at least in this case, that is just not true. I face my fear of mice and rats on a daily basis lately- and if anything, I’ve become more scared of them. Some nights have been downright traumatizing. I know logically that it’s really not going to hurt me. My biggest fear is it scampering across my feet. But why is that scary? I have no idea. Because they are gross. Maybe it’s irrational, but that’s how it is.

And honestly, I will continue to be scared every time I hear a random commotion above my bed, or see a little  (or not so little) head pop up from the wall, or when I hear the rustling of a sticky pad that has trapped a mouse. “Is he stuck enough” “Can he get loose” “Should I go look”. Yes, I have done things I never would have done before, and have perhaps become a little more useful. I am able to do more than just stand on the table now, but that is not for lack of fear, it is out of pure necessity.

So maybe facing our fears isn’t about overcoming them, but about figuring out what’s more important than our fear. I hate these rats. I hate hearing them at night. I hate cleaning up their poop. I hate that they ruin everything I own. But what’s more important to me is how God has used these past couple years to teach me lessons I couldn’t have learned in Canada. It’s more important to have the friendships I have with the people in my village. It’s more important to be used in some small way in God’s plan for Mada. I am afraid of mice, big or small, but there are things much more important than that irrational fear.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

home

Language is a funny thing; some words translate directly, some concepts translate, some don’t. Some words don’t exist at all in other languages. In Sakalava there is a word for the bond between a family (not necessarily by blood). It is a concept and a word that doesn’t translate to english. “Havagna” is the strongest bond there is, but it’s not something we english speakers understand in the same way.

“Home” is no different. There is a Sakalava word for ‘house’ but not ‘home'. But for us english speakers that is a huge part of who we are. “Home is where the heart is”. You know that feeling you get after being away for a while. You walk into your house and fall onto the couch or your bed. Total peace, total relaxation. You are home. You belong.

I can’t wait for that moment, and probably, series of moments when I return to Canada. Even before, when I meet my brother in the airport in London, then my parents in Toronto, then again at my parents house, again when I see my friends, when I go to the Breakfast Club with my parents and grandparents, again when I go to my church for the first time, in Chatham and in Cambridge. I will be home and it will feel amazing.

After being in Tana (the capital city) for three weeks with teammates as they had their fourth child (a beautiful healthy baby boy) we returned last night to Nosy Be.

As we were in the taxi driving back to our villages, smelling the ylang ylang, and seeing the beautiful tree cover, and hearing a dialect of Malagasy that I can understand again; I was home.  

And what an amazing feeling that is. I am so thankful that even though it has not been an easy time here, I feel a huge sense of belonging, and Nosy Be pride. I am Canadian; through and through, but I have a home in Nosy Be. Not a home in the sense of a building but a home in the sense of a place and a people that I have given my heart to. (Cheesy, but true).

I may not fully understand “havagna”, and my friends here may not fully understand “home”, but I think through the huge cultural differences, the feelings boil down to almost the same. A feeling of love, and a feeling of belonging. The people in Bemanandrohely are my “havagna”, and this is my home.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

Goodbye land of good food, relatively fast internet and electricity. Ready to be back in my village, can't believe there are only 5.5 months left there.

[michellegoestomadagascar]

Be Mine?

There is one thing that Valentines day makes really clear (other than how much most women love chocolate and flowers). And it’s that we were made to be loved and to love. Valentines day has gotten rather controversial in the past few years- it’s too commercial, it’s too lonely, movies like 50 Shades of Grey come out, etc. etc. And those are all valid points. It’s not about the money, or the flowers, or the chocolate (okay, maybe a little about the chocolate), it can be a painful day for those who are ‘alone’ whether that’s due to being widowed, or divorced, or just not with someone, and I’m not going to get into my opinions of the movies that are released..

But, when you look at it, isn’t it kind of nice, with all the awful things happening around us that society puts aside a day for love. I mean, it’s something we got right. And yes, it gets distorted, and it’s not a perfect day- but with everything that’s on the news these days, a reminder to send a little extra love is just what we need.

The fact that people feel lonely, or the need to have someone ‘special’, or be surrounded with people who love them and that they love, just proves that this is what we were made for.

The only way we will ever be truly satisfied is to be loved in every way possible. To be understood entirely, and still deeply loved. And Jesus has offered us just that. God has seen every weird quirk, every outburst of anger, every snot-filled tear fest, every temper tantrum, and still loved us to the point of making the biggest sacrifice. Allowing Jesus to give His life for us.

We were made to be loved. And were were made to love in return. 1 John says that we love because He first loved us. Without the love He gave, we wouldn’t be here to love one another and to love God.

Being made in His image means being made to love and to be loved.

On Nosy Be, we don’t celebrate Valentines Day, and love looks very different. Hollywood hasn’t taught my neighbours about romantic first kisses, giving flowers, holding hands, dancing under the stars, or finding your soulmate.

Husbands and wives (which are really just people living together as there is rarely a ceremony or paperwork or anything anymore) don’t spend a lot of time together, they are not affectionate in public, and there are definitely no flower deliveries today!

And yet, my Sakalava friends were also made for love and to love. It is very clear that marriage is very different here, and sometimes, because of how much my view of love is wrapped up in my Canadian culture, I see it as a lack of love, but that is not the case. On Nosy Be, (and in much of Africa) community is very important, and the bond of family is so strong that there is not an English word suitable to describe it.

My friends and neighbours here have a longing to be known, understood and loved.

Love looks very different across the world. Love looks different in different kinds of relationships. But at the end of the day, it’s love that we seek, and seek to give.

So, whatever your thoughts of this day are, smile, because one thing that our world has not lost is our ability to love and to be loved. And not only is it not lost, it is celebrated. So, go and be loved. Go and love.