Inspire me. @michonce - Tumblr Blog

2020 decade reflection

2010 - the year of heartbreak. my boyfriend of 3 years and i broke up. it was the longest, most serious relationship i ever had. but it was also toxic because we'd hang out every day and only with each other.

2011 - the year i stayed single for the first time in a long time. i always had a boyfriend, one after another. but this was the year i wanted to focus on myself and my core friend group.

2012 - the year i went off to college. the year i felt the love of Jesus for the first time. the year i met my future husband. the year i switched my major to photojournalism.

2013 - the year i struggled with mental health: low self-esteem, major insecurities, trust issues, neediness, negative thoughts, imposter syndrome, crying episodes, anxiety, guilt, and shame.

2014 - the year i decided to give Christianity a try for myself.

2015 - the year i got baptized! the year i studied abroad in London and traveled to other parts of Europe. the year i got salty with God because He didn't give me a summer internship. the year i begrudgingly went to my first local mission trip in Syracuse but God changed my heart and perspective through it. the year i made plans on becoming a wedding photographer.

2016 - the year i graduated without a job lined up for me. the year i no longer wanted to be a wedding photographer and asked God what career path i should do... and He said VIDEO. the year i found a home church. the year my mom told me she wants to learn more about Jesus.

2017 - the year i got a full-time job as a video producer. the year i learned that my job doesn’t define my worth or identity. the year i went on an instagram fast for a month and realized i wanted to use the platform to share God's love and Word. the year i went on missions to Japan and learned how to view work as a mission field. the year i became jaded by the bad reality of media... or work in general (layoffs and bad management).

2018 - the year i solidified friendships at work. the year i unexpectedly switched jobs - His will over mine. the year i learned patience!!!

2019 - the year of major highs and lows. the year i focused on taking care of my family and friends. the year i got engaged. the year i got laser eye surgery. the year that i got to take my family back to China after 20 years. the year i got a promotion. the year my friends came to church. the year my mom battled her sickness. the year i got 2 allergic reactions that shook me. the year i felt spiritually dry. the year i witnessed 8 beautiful weddings.

2020 - the year i learn to be a wife. the year i learn how to cook. the year of hospitality. the year i learn to give more grace but also be firm. the year i do things out of faith and love, instead of guilt and duty. the year I fear God and not man. the year i learn how to rest.

#personal

michonce

Update: My relationship with God

October 14, 2012 - I met Jesus for the first time during my freshmen year of college at a Friday praise and prayer night.

June 1, 2014 - Heard a message from Pastor Erwin McManus about silencing the voices of Satan and listening to the Words of God, preached from Genesis 3, and my years of crying episodes were healed. They stopped completely. I was taken out of a really dark place.

January 16, 2015 - Heard a message from Pastor Issac about how unbelief can paralyze you, preached from Luke 5:17-32. For the first time, I prayed with faith for my unbelieving family members and friends. God gave me a vision about my family - we were all sitting at our dinner table, holding hands and smiling at each other, and I offered to pray for the meal. God told me to hold onto this promise.

January 17, 2015 - I decided I wanted to commit myself to Jesus for the rest of my life, get baptized, and proclaim it to everyone. The next baptism at KCS was in April.

February 25, 2015 - Started doing bible studies/discipleship with some girls from ICC. Long story short, I was beginning to not be like myself and almost converted into this cult-like community that twisted the truth of the Bible.

April 5, 2015 - Got baptized. Very grateful that my best friend Kassia, my brother, Stanley, photo friend Drew, and my church fam were all there to share this experience with me.

June 2015 - I was bitter, confused, and drifted away from God because He took away “the perfect” internship from me.

July 3-10, 2015 - Forced myself to go up to Syracuse and serve at Lodi Summer Camp because God closed every door except this one. This was my first (local) missions trip. Long story short, my faith was renewed and I realized my life is about God and others before me.

August 2015-January 2016 - Studied abroad in London and fell far, far away from God.

January 22, 2016 - Attended my last college winter retreat and after listening to the way Pastor James Choi preached, my heart finally understood the importance of reading the Bible every day. So I began to read the Bible every day starting with Genesis.

May 2016-July 2016 - FUNEMPLOYMENT… and anxiety

July 10, 2016 - Pastor Josh preached a message about truly surrendering everything to God and humbly seeking where God wants you to serve. I read my bible and wholeheartedly prayed, lifting my future up to God.

July 12, 2016 - I get an email from Time Out New York for my first freelance photo shoot. God provides.

August 18, 2016 - God provided a video internship at Spoon University. By the looks of this, it seems like God has opened up the food world.

September 27, 2016 - Mom told me she believes in Jesus and only Jesus and took down the Chinese idols. God is answering my prayers from a year ago.

October 17, 2016 - God provided a paid video internship opportunity at Tasting Table. God’s been teaching me about timing.

October 30, 2016 - My brother told me he prayed to God for strength, perseverance, and guidance. He did not pray for a good grade or to ace an interview or to get lots of money, etc. He asked me to pray for him too. And he also decided to give prayer another try because he remembered I told him that God will always be there when there’s no one else there for you… <3 God is moving in my family, so quickly and powerfully. I am so humbled and full of tears. He is softening their hearts and I experienced a whole new level of goodness by God. He is so good. And this is what life is all about - seeing death turning into life through the gospel… this is why I am here.

October 30, 2016 - Life is good. God has blessed me with a loving family, a home, food to eat, an amazing boyfriend and friends, and a family of Christ that is so gospel-centered. God has also given me so many opportunities to immerse myself in the food world via freelance/internship. Although finance is (always) a struggle, He is still good and I know I can rely on Him. I think I have finally built my foundation on Jesus, my rock. Life’s good. In Him, it is well.

michonce

January 21, 2018 - Randomly checked my tumblr again. It’s been over a year. Update: God is still good.

Employed as a FT video producer at a digital media company, many conversations about God come up with my coworkers, shared the gospel with one, will continue to be a light at work.

Became a member at TIGBC, serving as a Sunday School teacher for our children’s ministry, in discipleship, rejoicing with my sister in Christ Shirley for getting baptized and wanting to become a member here too.

Mom has been coming to church on Sunday after work to speak to CMO and other members of my church. Dad and bro still a bit hesitant. Convos about God have been brought up to my extended family and friends for the first time. Hoping to share the gospel with them soon.

Stanley and I have been together for 5 years, still going strong, thank You Lord. We’re trying to use our Saturdates to serve others.

Been trying to read the Bible every day. Currently on Job. Struggling to pray every day but I’m working on it. Trying to spend less money on clothes and give more to others.

Trying to use my Instagram as an outlet to talk about God, share some of my personal life, and post food pics 😋

And that should be it for now! Stay tuned.

michonce

April 3, 2019 - Randomly checked Tumblr once again. It’s been over a year. Much has happened. But let me recap the last few months in 2018.

September 2018 - Slowly making moves to start discipling two new sisters in Christ with another sister in Christ.

October 2, 2018 - My last day at Mashable. I was struggling so hard to leave bc I love my coworkers so much. I didn’t want to leave but God kept opening the door to this new opportunity at a different media company. And so I obeyed.

October 8, 2018 - First day at Insider. Remember June 2015 where I fell away from God bc He took away the “perfect” internship from me? This was the same company It’s so funny to me bc 4 years ago, I wanted to work here so badly. But this time around, I was struggling to leave my previous job. Over these 4 years, God has taught me that my job doesn’t define my worth. My job isn’t my identity. Now, I look at my job as a mission field that God has placed me in. I’m excited to see how He will use me in this new workplace.

December 2018 - Got sick before Christmas. My coworker whom I shared the gospel with in the beginning of 2018 said he’ll come to church with me! I wasn’t sure if I could get out of bed to go to church. I was struggling with a fever and bad cold a few days prior. But God gave me strength. I’m so glad he came to church. He said he had fun. It was a true Christmas miracle! Praying that the seeds have been planted and that I’ll have more opportunities to water them and be there for him as a friend.

February 16, 2019 - Got sick again... sick during winter retreat sucks but it’s a humbling experience. God was forcing me to humble myself and surrender. This retreat also helped me be honest with God about my feelings instead of bottling it all in and pretending everything is okay and that I’m perfect. I once again realized how weak I am and how it’s okay to not be perfect, just keep going back to God.

February 20, 2019 - Still pretty sick... but I knew I needed to be at work and cover this Samsung event Prayed so hard for God to sustain me. Covering these live events are so stressful. But God came through! 9 million views on that video!!! What a humbling feeling.

March 2, 2019 - Stanley proposed to me!!! And I said yes. My dad kinda spilled the beans a few weeks earlier bc he told me that Stanley stopped by with some tea leaves and also showed him *something*. So I knew Stanley was going to do it soon, but didn’t know when. I had a suspicion that it was going to be that weekend, but Stanley will tell you that I’m just saying that in hindsight I’m blessed that my friends were all there to witness and celebrate this moment with us. Knowing myself, my ideal proposal would’ve been super extra, like Stanley proposing at a lantern fest and have that Tangled moment with a beautiful speech and a professional photographer capturing an amazing, breathtaking photo. But I’m so glad that my heart was pleased with the actual proposal. There was snow all over the floor. It was a bit cold. We were wearing our winter jackets. We didn’t have a professional photographer. Stanley forgot everything he wanted to say and I was shocked that I didn’t hear anything he said until he asked if I would marry him. But despite all that, I enjoyed the moment. And that’s something I’m still learning to do. Living in that Instagram age, we want moments to be perfect and instagrammable. But it’s not genuine. I miss genuine, in-the-moment moments. Hoping I can experience more of that this year.

And I guess that leads to today... April 3, 2019. Stanley and I booked our venue today! A part of me is still in disbelief at how quickly we found and booked the venue. It seems too good to be true. It was within our budget. It’s gorgeous! It’s not too far from the city. And it had the date we wanted. Too good to be true right? But I guess that’s how amazing God is... Praying that this wedding planning process will bring others to know Christ and feel His love.

Day 1: Talk about the best day of your life.

The best day of my life yet would be this past Friday. Although it started off with me waking up at 7 in the morning and working until 3:30 in the afternoon, my Friday ended up pretty well.

So, immediately after work I was suppose to go to a photography workshop but I couldn’t make it in time. That meant I had nothing to do for the rest of my Friday. So my roommate suggested that I should go to church with her.

Now, I consider myself agnostic, skeptical about the existence (or nonexistence) of God but opened to observing and, to my surprise on Friday, indulging in the praise and worship. (For the record, I’ve gone to praise and worship for about 3 times in my entire life.)

And I would feel the same way every time. I’d smile when I see a few people getting really into it, I’d get sudden chills when I hear the angelic voices around me, I’d eventually sing along to the easy-to-follow songs, and I’d question but end up putting my head down and folding my hands when it was time for worship. Superficial stuff.

But for some mystical reason, I was completely indulged on Friday.

When I was worshipping, my throat became a bit dry, causing me to cough uncontrollably and my left eye to become watery. So I wiped my eye and then sniffed (because I had a stuffy nose). And I thought to myself, “Haha, it seems like I’m crying but I’m not.” After that was over, I closed my eyes and began to wait.

And your senses become stronger when one isn’t in use, right? So, I listened intently to the beautiful tune coming from the piano and the voices of the praise team and entire congregation. It was just too perfect.

And I think that was what sparked my tears; the amount of emotion and beauty in it all was overwhelming. My mind kept spinning, my tears kept rushing down and my nose got stuffier.

“God will always be there… He loves you so much.” That made me cry, too. I guess I felt extremely thankful to know that there is “someone” who will always show me unconditional support and compassion and forgiveness. I wasn’t really wondering whether God exists or not. The most important thing to me, in this moment, was that this connection made me feel something I’ve never felt before. It made me feel loved, fearless, and reassured. It made me want to be a better person. It made me want to share His amount of love for me to everyone else around me.

My roommate also placed her head next to mine and held my hand, and started to say prayers concerning me. I felt like I didn’t deserve it and I felt thankful for her, too. All of this made me cry so much.

I still don’t fully understand why I cried, but I do know it was a good thing. And it is definitely the best day of my life yet.

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