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Brendon Burton

#willow tree #nature #water

borderlinereminders

People don’t owe you their downtime! And I don’t mean this in a harsh way, but in a “quit breaking your own heart” way.

It’s so easy to see a friend “active” and reblogging on tumblr, or maybe making a status update on Facebook and feel hurt they haven’t replied to our messages.

Different things take different energy. And someone being “online” but not actively talking to you does not mean they no longer love or care about you.

inkzbat

I agree with this but they can communicate that they need time to themselves or time alone and just wanna post things and have alone time instead of ignoring, communication is important.

lechatelierite

I think expecting people to actively take the effort to communicate to every single person they regularly talk to, every single time they need a break, is honestly putting a lot on that person and defeats the whole point of having a break. If I had the energy to text 30 people that I’m tired and need a break, I would probably have the energy to just respond to them.

Wanting to post things and chill out is a really normal human need and should not need to be communicated every time. People need to consider why they feel so entitled to other people’s time. Nobody owes you a response for any reason and I hate how modern technology has made it such that people are constantly expected to respond and that not texting back when you’re doing something is considered “ignoring”. It’s not ignoring, it’s being busy, and people should assume that by default instead of needing it spelled out/communicated.

borderlinereminders

Sharing this response because I keep getting comments and asks and people tagging about this and how “well you should at least communicate that you’re tired”.

And I think this response nails what I wanted to say in response really well.

borderlinereminders

Friendly reminder that in this post, I’m not saying it’s okay for your loved ones to ignore you for months on end or only message when they need something. I’m also not saying you guys shouldn’t try and find a compromise of some sort. I’m not saying someone is valid to ghost you when you had plans together.

All I’m saying is that you aren’t owed instant 24/7 access to someone. People are allowed to just be existing on their phone without talking to you.

I used to think different. I used to think my FP at the time should be messaging me every minute when I knew he was “free”. (Not at work or hanging out with someone). And I’ve grown and realized how entitled that thinking was and my spirals when he didn’t answer were exhausting for him and are likely why our friendship ended. And I’m telling you, I feel so much lighter now that I understand.

In other words, please stop sending me hate asks about this post. I’m being called ableist, insensitive, uncaring and cold in regards to this post. Me saying you aren’t entitled to someone’s time 24/7 is not the same as me saying you don’t deserve friends who put in effort or that you aren’t worth the effort.