Hope

✶ Christian ✶ (Pentecostal -> Messianic Judaism) ✶ 34 ✶ Pro-Life ✶ Bibliophile ✶ Single Pringle praying to mingle ✶

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

Looking to expand my library - got any recommendations??

[woodsandhearth]

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

Situation: a younger male friend approaches the dms, saying, "I'm sorry about the hurtful things I said in the group conversation yesterday." After wracking my brain for any clues as to what he was talking about, nothing came to mind. I even asked him, "What hurtful things? I for real can't recall," and he responded with, "Nevermind then."

Well....no, not nevermind. You brought it up first - it was clearly bothering your conscience enough to reach out and make a vague apology. What exactly are you apologizing for? If I had remembered, would you still be apologetic? Or are you taking advantage of a memory lapse to ease your guilt?

I dared to ask him: "So, now that you know I don't remember what you said...are you still apologetic for it, or are you not?"

His response: "Man, I hate questions like this."

Oh? Why's that? Because you know me well enough that I have zero interest in "entrapping" you - I just want honesty above all else.

I say, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to," (because free will exists for us all).

His final response, "I don't want to."

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

Update: He approached later that day (on his own accord) and vocalized what he was avoiding. The day before in a group call, he stayed that "everyone is ugly, except my girlfriend" [paraphrased]. I didn't think anything of it, because he jokes like that a lot; but someone else later confronted him on it, and he was apologizing to us.

Nothing nefarious - just human nature not wanting to admit wrongdoing to other flawed humans.

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

Situation: a younger male friend approaches the dms, saying, "I'm sorry about the hurtful things I said in the group conversation yesterday." After wracking my brain for any clues as to what he was talking about, nothing came to mind. I even asked him, "What hurtful things? I for real can't recall," and he responded with, "Nevermind then."

Well....no, not nevermind. You brought it up first - it was clearly bothering your conscience enough to reach out and make a vague apology. What exactly are you apologizing for? If I had remembered, would you still be apologetic? Or are you taking advantage of a memory lapse to ease your guilt?

I dared to ask him: "So, now that you know I don't remember what you said...are you still apologetic for it, or are you not?"

His response: "Man, I hate questions like this."

Oh? Why's that? Because you know me well enough that I have zero interest in "entrapping" you - I just want honesty above all else.

I say, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to," (because free will exists for us all).

His final response, "I don't want to."

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

The more I talk with guys who are single and want to be married, the stronger I feel that men and women need to be talking to each other about their lives more.

"Most women see a guy trying to be nice as 'creepy'. So a guy can't even be nice to a girl without feeling misjudged for it."

Those are valid points, Sir; and have you also considered some of those women have had bad experiences with "nice" guys (who turned out to be creeps) in the past, and she's going off a trauma response and recognizing patterns? Or maybe she witnessed someone very close to her go through that Nice->Creep transformation, and she doesn't want to go through similar troubles. Or perhaps, she might not have a decent older male figure in her life (father, grandfather, uncle, etc.) who acts as a protector, so she has to protect herself the best she can.

[On the flip side]:

"There just aren't any good men who take initiative anymore. They don't pursue and aren't chivalrous."

Those are valid points, Ma'am; and have you also considered he has been hurt in the past when he took initiative, and now he associates taking initiative as rejection? Or maybe he's still working through a heartbreak, and he doesn't want to risk be taken back to square 1 with healing. Or maybe he has other people in his life he's responsible in caring for, and he doesn't advertise it.

Can we just go back to having civil conversations with each other and remember that men and women were designed by God to be different? Instead of making generalized statements (i.e. "most men-", "most women-"), can we just learn about the person in front of us?

[requiem-on-water]

Meteor Shower, oil on panel by Mia Bergeron

[classicalcanvas]

Tempest on the sea at night (1849) by Ivan Aivazovsky

[illustratus]

Sweethearts and Wives by Samuel Edmund Waller

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

[Me turning on any source of light]

[My girl brain]: "AZIZ, LIGHT!!"

[retroscifiart]

Art by Bob Layzell (Born 1940) known for his many book covers and work in the Terran Trade Authority series

[retroscifiart]

Another sci-fi art legend leaves us. Goodbye Bob Layzell, Terran Trade Authority titan 04/05/1940-29/01/2026

[redlipstickresurrected]

Olof Thunman aka Jacob Olof Magnus Thunman (Swedish, 1879-1944, b. Västra Ågatan, Uppsala, Sweden, d. Knivsta, Sweden) - Solnedgång vid Kusten (Sunset on the Coast), 1926, Paintings: Oil on Canvas

[faustique]

i am disgustingly self aware there's nothing you can tell me that i haven't spent weeks reflecting on

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

.

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

[mama-qwerty]

I have been tagged by too many people and that other post was getting too long so . . .

EAT SNOWBALLS LOSERS*!!

@ficsinhistory @lucidheart3 @niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian @sayurime @nights-nonsensical-ramblings @multiisketch @quazart @kogarashi-art @skimmingthesurfaces @pupdoc0916 @charleecat-bat @chiropter36 @livingthewritelife-things @appendingfic @wnacn @star-stages @doomfox @aphantimes @aggie-on-main @nightfurylover31

and @ everyone else who needs a smack of positivity this time of year

*Disclaimer: 'losers' in this instance is used affectionately as I love you all and each snowball is full of positive vibes and hugs

[kogarashi-art]

[Affectionate snow-throwing]

@handsignals, @himluv, @grand-crow, @sorcerousadventurer, @dags-over-caravans, @bronzeagelove, @chaosherald, @serialsforbellara, @serstolas, @sandcastlekings, @redheadsramblings, @sapphireangelbunny, @jadeandroses, @genjyoandgojyoandhakkai, @wolfsong-the-bloody-beast, @hedwigoprah, @redaresss and anyone else I may have missed.

Using my go-to tag list for this. If you want on (or off), check the post here.

[bronzieinthedas]

THE AUDACITY!!

@therivercrow @davrinsleftpectoral @blackwall-my-tiny-husband @justskipit @fadetouchedlurker @forlornmelody @comfortabletextiles @pixiedurango @nerdierholler @nathleeng @biowaredisasterbisexual @cute-ellyna @jukkaricity @mageofquandrix @waxlyricalmoon @in-the-drowning-deep!!

May the snowy mayhem begin!!

[nathleeng]

@aidenreblogsthings @helila @reylokisses @bulba-sara @giantkillerjack @cloudcoveronclearnights

[reylokisses]

Thanks, @nathleeng! 🥰

@junkyardghost @palettesofrenaissance @thegirlwholovesallthingsdisney @welsharcher @sweetheart-weeb-33 @reylo-of-light-blog @reyloaddict55 and many more!

[welsharcher]

@originalluv @randomfoggytiger @oh-great-authoress @mel-loves-all @mrszimmerman24

[mel-loves-all]

@welsharcher @memcjo @andjustforthismoment @hope-for-olicity @mizjoely @elennemigo @simplyshelbs16xoxo @writingwife-83 @austencello @thedeviousdo @sarangkstars @incandescentflower @dangermousie @theresnosafeharbor4myships @4ngelc0res 🎄

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

@secluded-fr0g @midnight-reader-morning-sleeper @emotional-context @empress-of-snark @franfinesheffield @sugarskullzd

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

@becauseismellgood @colormipretty @sunheart @its-me-satine

[transfemininomenon]

today’s date is the 3rd? what’s next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift? 

[sagekjs21]

Strictly for music lovers. 😊 

[midnight-reader-morning-sleeper]

Probably in that point of my cycle where my emotions are being taken over by hormone fluctuations, because I just heard someone chewing and I wanted to crawl out of my skin. [*That quirk only happens a short time before the period starts.]

But that still doesn't explain why I've been feeling emotionally disconnected for a month. It's like.....i feel like the only thing I want is Jesus, and I don't want anything else in life. I don't want a husband, I don't want kids, I don't want stuff. And everytime I talk to my boyfriend, I feel like I'm being dishonest because I say "I love you" when I don't feel it.