are you a dreamer?

just a simple blog about music, movies, photography, art, and my life.

[the-loveliest]

carne griffith

[midnightdrearycs-blog]

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.- E.A.P

I haven't blogged in a long time...I'm obviously not good at being consistent in my endeavors. I'm sitting on an awful bed in a lonely city. Well, the I'm lonely in this city...Sacramento. I never wanted to move her. How did this happen? I'm only here to visit before the big move and I'm already deeply saddened. I don't want to explore Nor Cal by myself. I'm so scared of ending up all alone. I must be grateful that I have a  job, and a good one at that,but it is shrouded in my sadness. I have one month until I'm back here...in this flat, ocean less, hot town.

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The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.

Three things that I'm grateful for:

dancing

a hot shower

genuine kisses

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The sleep of reason produces monsters-Francisco de Goya

I love this painting. It speaks to me. I totally understand how the artist feels.

Three things Im grateful for (I'm trying to make this a habit):

3307, because they are so much fun.

beets...particularly for juicing

the color red

[vogue]

Nicki Minaj Photographed by Steven Klein for the March Issue of Vogue

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reminds me of my halloween costume where i was the blue girl in Beetlejuice

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whatever

Very sad tonight.

not going to focus on it though,instead here are the three things I'm grateful for:

opportunity to interview for jobs, even an unexpected second interview

Lucidity festival with my girlfriends and without cell service and the fun experiences had there 

champagne

[midnightdrearycs-blog]

Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.

Feeling very alone tonight. I don't like this feeling (obviously). I know I need to overcome it and be happy with being with myself. I shouldn't always need someone else around....but its so comforting having someone to confide in, cuddle with, or even simply read next to in bed. I'm very scared of being alone...or maybe I just mean that scared of never being loved. 

think positive. think positive. think positive.

3 things that I'm grateful for:

1.getting my first job interview offer-how exciting!!

2.my new camera,which i will take care of! (no dropping,no gum on lens, no water submersion!)

3. a new musical and spiritual experience this weekend at Lucidity Festival (making sure i have good vibes about this)

Writing is a great form of release....I feel a little better. I know no one reads this, but it kind of feels like I have someone to talk to. This is why i need a dog- to listen to me and unconditionally love me.

[midnightdrearycs-blog]

Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.-Joesph Campbell

I wish I could take the advice that this quote offers...I believe it to be true...but I'm terrified of the future.Im trying so hard to be hopeful and excited about the positive things to come but Im failing. I'm scared to move and be alone...to be forgotten and unloved....to not be missed or thought about. 

I'm trying to make a good decision about my future...but i don't know what to choose. i don't know what to think or do. I'm so lost.i wish i had a sign or some epiphany to guide me.  

I know i'm going to hurt myself in the end.Because I cared too much....

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/karrah_kobus/6049202454/sizes/m/in/photostream/

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With the right person we find our feet in two ponds, both heaven and hell.

Feeling a little low tonight and started reading something a friend posted. I found it quite interesting and want to relay some of the quotes that stuck out.

"This is true love, but to relate to the situation in this way requires us facing the obstacles that hinder direct and simple honesty. Relationships push us into our own darkness. So, relationships cultivate courage and selflessness — a willingness to face the things that scare you for the sake of someone else."

"By relating to our reference points I mean, trying to stake off our partner as though they were some static idea that belonged to us. Instead of seeing them as a living organism, we try to embalm them— keep them in a cage constructed out of our fears and expectations. We utilize various forms of emotional terrorism to keep them in these cages, but since staying in a cage means denying their very being this is a destructive behavior. It will never work"

"We do not have to control the situation. We do not have to set up all these boundaries that define the relationship. If the relationship is truly based on love, it is intelligent. We need to trust this intelligence."  all quotes are from web of enlightenment

Some days I just need to read and realize that I'm overreacting....that I'm reading too much into a situation...that I do not know both sides of the story....that I need to take a deep breath and think about why I am upset,digest the information and understand it.

"Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." tinybuddha.com

Three things that I am grateful for:

The sun and its warmth

deep calming breaths/inhalations

my Kindle (did I say that one already??)

That is all from me tonight.

positive thinking,positive thinking.positive thinking.positive thinking. repeat repeat repeat!

[photojojo]

Baby orphan owls find a home and ARE ADORABLE.

Baby Orphan Owls Have a Photoshoot

Photos via Yahoo/BNPS; via NotCot

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oh good lord, this may be the cutest picture ever!!!!

[welovephoneography]

Beautiful rainbow-hued photos of British Columbia by Instagramer Matt French.

Edited using a mix of these iPhone apps: Lens Flare, Snapseed, Picfx, & Instagram.

[photojojo]

Reuben Wu’s landscape photographs reminds us of something captured by a interstellar space rover. 

Reuben shoots on discontinued Aerochrome Infrared film on a Mamiya RZ67.

Infrared Landscape Photos by Reuben Wu

[midnightdrearycs-blog]

To be upset over what you don’t have is to waste what you do have.

I haven't blogged in awhile. I haven't been writing down what I'm grateful for either. Shame shame. I know it'll help me see the world in a better,new light if I turn this into a habit....it only takes 21 days! So, let me begin my blog with these three things that I'm grateful for today:

Having an enjoyable (and practically free) trip to Las Vegas last weekend: free gambling, cheap drinks, free hotel with hot tub, free and delicious food, and all with my best friend/manfriend.

My group projects members: they've kept me sane and been wonderful partners to work on this project...can't wait until it's done. SO CLOSE!

Tea and its joyous calming effects. I love the variety of flavors and how it warms me right up. Im so happy to have fallen in love with it and make it part of my daily regime. I'm currently drinking a vanilla cinnamon tea for TJs- YUM!

I can't believe my last spring break is coming up and my last quarter ever! It's a strange feeling. I'm excited to start a new chapter in my life but terrified as well...but I shouldn't let negative thoughts take over. I know that what is meant to happen, will happen. I'm intrigued to see what job I get and in what city. I'm hitting the job search hard next week!

In other news, I bought a Kindle Fire. I splurged. Its not a necessity but I wanted it...so I bought it, well a refurbished one! I have booked stacked up to read butttt now I'll have even more at my disposal. I'm a spoiled brat,but...its not like I bought an iPad (my justification).

I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real" And I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd

-Postal Service

I'm listening to The Shin's new album. I hold a special place of band in my heart because: 1) they're band name, duh 2) i discovered them, no Coachella or AP magazine necessary 3) they're a really unique,weird indie band

But they reminded me of Postal Service and my favorite song lyric, written above. I do want love! I want someone to endearingly look at me, to say something nice to me randomly, and kiss me passionately. That's really all that I desire. No gifts. No flowers. I just want to receive as much love as I give. Anyhoo...that'll come someday.

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Too Close. Alex Clare.  I heard this song on a new Internet Explorer commercial and was totally digging it, at least the chorus. There's a sick electro beat behind it. 

You know I’m not one to break promises I don’t want to hurt you but I need to breathe At the end of it all, you’re still my best friend But there’s something inside that I need to release Which way is right, which way is wrong How do I say that I need to move on You know we have is separate way And it feels like I am just too close to love you There’s nothing I can really say I can’t lie no more, I can’t hide no more Got to be true to myself And it feels like I am just too close to love you So I’ll be on my way

You gave me more that I can return Yet there’s so much that you deserve Nothing to say, nothing to do, I’ve nothing to give I must leave without you You know we have is separate way And it feels like I am just too close to love you There’s nothing I can really say I can’t lie no more, I can’t hide no more Got to be true to myself And it feels like I am just too close to love you So I’ll be on my way So I’ll be on my way And it feels like I am just too close to love you There’s nothing that I can really say I can’t lie no more, I can’t hide no more Got to be true to myself And it feels like I am just too close to love you So I’ll be on my way So I’ll be on my way So I’ll be on my way

[midnightdrearycs-blog]

All is fair in love and war??

I'm not in the mood to blog tonight BUT I do want to continue with my commitment of acknowledging 3 things that I'm grateful for every day:

chocolate...but seriously, it is amazing and I can always rely on it to make me happy, even if it's a fleeting emotion

alarm clocks, which I do not own. Being dependent on my phone is no longer working for me. its time to revert back to the "old" days

sunshine. it both literally and figuratively brightens my dad when the sun is shining and theres not a cloud in the sky.

goodnight world. 

[midnightdrearycs-blog]

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.- Denis Waitley

Three things I'm grateful for today:

1. Exercising and feeling strong

2. My freedom, especially today because I had so many hours to do what I wanted!

3. Music and musical festivals