My neighbor, Robin, had a silly routine I must have heard a million times since we were 10. She'd take the end of her ponytail and hold it under her nose, and (pretending to be Snidley Whiplash, I guess), say "Into the woods…."
(Taking the ponytail away, higher voice) "I'll scream!"
"How loud can you scream?," Snidley would ask.
"Eek!" (In a very tiny voice.)
Then she'd crack up. So did I, first time I heard it. She was flirting with me, of course; she flirted with all the guys in school. Looked the part too: long blonde hair, blue eyes, a real knockout. As we got older, she dated a lot, but never had a steady boyfriend. I knew; she lived next door, and by the time we were seniors in high school, I'd had a crush on her for years.
One day we were goofing around in the back yard, and she did her "Into the woods" bit for about the fifth time in an hour. It really annoyed me, and without thinking about it, I said "Listen, Robin, you keep that up and I'll take you into the woods…and tan your hide." Then I looked away, embarrassed; I didn't usually say things like that to her.
"I'd scream," she whispered.
We locked eyes. "How loud would you scream?"
"Eek!" It was barely audible, a throaty whisper. She blushed, and dropped her eyes.
"Yeah, right," I laughed, and the moment passed.
From then on, though, something had changed. There was electricity between us, when we walked to school, or met in the hallway. One morning on the way to school, she held her ponytail under her nose, and I pointed at her, scowling, before she said a word. I grabbed her by the wrist, and said "Not one word out of you, young lady, or you won't sit down for a week."
She blushed bright red, dropped her eyes, and held my hand tight. We walked to school holding hands, and never said a word. From then on, she had a steady boyfriend: me.
We were crazy about each other, certain we were the only two people ever to have experienced True Love. We spent hours, days, exploring each other's minds, and hearts, and, ultimately, bodies.
One warm summer evening, we walked through the town park. Robin stopped and held a bit of her hair under her nose. This time, I said it: "Into the woods!" and grabbed her wrist, and led her into the stand of woods that bordered the pond. When I came to a fallen log, I sat down, grabbed her wrist and pulled her across my knees. I flipped up her skirt, and began to rub her bottom.
"Robin, I've wanted to do this for a long time."
"Yes…. I want you to. Even if I scream"
So, I did. And she wiggled, and cried…and screamed, into the woods.
