Youâre In Love With Him But He Likes Your Best Friend: Part 2
A/N: This is a filler chapter. Meaning, this is much shorter than part 1. Do not feel dishearted, there will be a longer, more detailed part 3.Â
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âAre you ever going to speak to me?â
Y/n freezes as she hears Harryâs voice ask her the question sheâs been dreading to answer.
Itâs been two weeks since sheâs heard that voice. It may sound rougher now, more stern and harsh than it normally is as it growls behind her at the counter of Lexiâs bar, but itâs still the first time sheâs heard it in two weeks.
After her sober confessions to a very tipsy, slumberous Harry, Y/n had to understand what it truly meant to move on.
At first, she thought she would still be able to be around him as she searched for ways to rid her feelings. She distracted herself, mostly. She would interact more with Savannah than she would Harry and even started picking up new habits whenever she felt her emotions creeping in. Anything that reminded her of Harry was disregarded entirely so that the only time he was able to consume her thoughts was whenever he was near her.
For the first couple weeks, she was holding up quite well, considering the circumstances. She was able to contain her emotions and take her mind off of the raging heartache that kept burning in her chest.
But it wasnât much long after that night when Savannah and Harry finally became official, and if Y/n wasnât anguished before, she surely was then. She was forced to witness the transition of their relationship in hindsight. What was once casual flirting and innocent touches turned into secretive giggles and loving hand gestures.
It was as if her heart broke all over again. What seemed to be almost completely mended was destructed all at once. The chase between Harry and Savannah was over, and reality set in that Harry was happy and in love with someone that isnât Y/n.
Watching them together was Y/nâs most devastating nightmare, and the thought of that alone meant she couldnât mentally handle being alone anymore. With all of the emotions built up inside of her, being alone for Y/n meant enduring the pain and suffering she didnât want to feel anymore. She just wanted it all to end, everything.
The earliest hours of the morning wrecked her the most. With only the moon illuminating the room and the radio silence throughout her house gave Y/n no choice but to be alone with her thoughts. She wasnât loved, and no matter how many nights sheâs tried to convince herself that this wasnât the end, it was.
She had to let Harry go, completely this time. She gave up on him entirely because she couldnât keep loving him when he didnât love her. Not anymore, not like that.
âItâs Thursday, I see,â Harry grumbles before letting her answer, jaw locked as his fingers grip harshly around a stray, unfinished glass of alcohol. âYou never work Thursdays. âS this where your Friday shifts went?â
Thereâs an unpleasantly rough tone in his voice that makes Y/nâs breath hitch in her throat. Sheâs never witnessed this side of him, filled with anger and exasperation. Heâs always been so soft and gentle, never having the heart to speak down to someone. But here he is, eyes dark with anger and words spewing venomously from his lips.
And as much she hates to admit it, she canât blame him for being so angry with her. She knows she means the most to himâeven if itâs not in a romantic senseâsheâs become such an important part of his life. Ever since they met, she took in the truth about his past, understood the feelings and thoughts heâs carried all through his years, and was able to provide him with anything she was able to when he needed her most. She was one of the very few people he trusted and felt most comfortable with. She was irreplaceable, heâd always tell her, nobody could compare to her.
And then, she left him. She distanced herself so far away from him until it was as if she was never apart of his life. She ignored him and all his attempts to reach out to her again. It hurt her tremendously, knowing that what they had together was completely and utterly helpless, but she never questioned how Harry felt about it. She did what was easiest for her and never thought about it twice. She left him so that he can be happy, but as he stands so tensely and confused before her, she canât help but blame herself whatâs happened between them lately.
She nods her head softly, still refusing to look up at him as she gathers all the used glasses in front of her, making herself seem distracted so she doesnât have to make much effort into speaking to him.
âIâuh, yeah. Friday nights were getting hectic and I couldnât keep up with the late hours. I thought Savannah told you.â
Itâs a lie, and they both know it is. Of course, Y/n switched her Friday night shift. She felt as if she had no choice, she couldnât bare to look at him with Savannah another goddamn second. And the thought of spending Friday nights with Harry without being alone with him and going to the 24-hour movie theater together was enough to make her sick to her stomach.
âShe did,â he clicks his tongue, eyes narrowing as he watches her scramble around the bar, âdidnât have to, though. I knew she was lying.â
Y/nâs actions halt for a moment, a feeling of dread flowing in her veins before she goes back to cleaning off the bar, disregarded his statement completely.
Harry knows Y/nâs been avoiding him, she hasnât exactly made it as subtle as she thought. Their entire friendship changed, and Harry knows he wasnât the one ruining it.
The morning after Y/n drove Harry back from the bar, all he could really remember clearly was falling asleep with Y/n. There were other bits he remembered, but that was really the only moment that came to him when he woke up. And he was confused when he woke up alone because, in all honesty, he was looking forward to waking up next to her. It was all his drunk mind thought of, and that terrified him.
When Y/n started distancing herself from him, Harry kept wondering what he had done wrong. She was fine with Savannah, keeping up with their lives as usual. But she was different with Harryâclosed off, in a way, and it made him feel something heâs never felt in his life before.
He was confused, to say the least. Because when he was kissing down the bare chest of the woman of his dreams, he couldnât stop daydreaming about Y/n, and how he hasnât heard her voice and how he hasnât felt her in so long.
He had Savannah wrapped around his finger, yet he still felt as if everything about it was wrong. He changed when Y/n left him, because even when he was around the most loving company, he felt alone.
He was helpless. As much as he tried to love Savannah, Y/n was in the back of his head. She was there, all the time, trapped in his mind with no escape route.Â
At first, he was confusedâupset and lost without Y/n. He didnât know life without Y/n would feel so lonely, so empty and incomplete. Then, he was angryâangry because as many times as he tried to get her to speak to him again, she never came back. She was gone, forever.
Now, heâs hurt. So damaged by her leaving his life, so incomplete and destroyed without her with him anymore. His heart is heavy with sadness and he couldnât let himself feel this way anymore.Â
âSo you gonna tell me why youâve been avoiding me, or am I gonna have to force it out of you?â he seethes, nose flaring as he tries to steady his uneven breath.
Y/n shakes her head ignorantly, but she damn knows well what heâs talking about, and her oblivion drives him crazy.
âI donâtâI donât know what youâre talking abââ
âOh, fuck off with it!â Harry spits, slamming his closed fist down on the wooden counter.
He doesnât seem to care about how sudden the bar falls silent, or the glisten of fear in Y/nâs eyes when she finally looks up at him. All he can seem to care about is how much pain he feels, all over. All he can think about is how now, after the last two weeks of not being able to understand why he cares so goddamn much about her, heâs finally able to feel some sense of sanity being in front of her now.
âYou know what youâre doing to me, Y/n! You know damn fucking well what youâre fucking doing andââ
âHarry, please.â Y/n whispers and she isnât sure as to whether or not sheâs begging him to lower his voice or begging for him to understand.
âAnd itâs not fair!â he cries out, tears of frustration overflowing from his eyes as he grips tightly onto his hair.
His breaking point is approaching, he feels it. He feels it with every breath he takes and every word that emits from his mouth. His heart twists and breaks as he expresses every feeling thatâs been consuming him for the past two weeks. He needs her to know what sheâs doing to him, needs her to know how he feels.
âI did nothing to you and you keep pushing me away and thatâs not fair because I donât know how to live without you. Isnât that something?! I donât know what to do without you, and you know that!â
Suddenly, his head falls in his hands as he begins to sob. Complete heart-wrenching sobs, making his chest tight and breathing shallow.
Y/n reaches her hand out for him, her fingers clasping harshly around his wrist. Her own eyes start to brim with tears as she watches him sob below her, his body shaking with undying cries. She swallows harshly when he grabs ahold of her hand in his, bringing her palm against his forehead. he brings his lips softly to her wrist, kissing it quickly.
âI donât know why it hurts this much, Y/n,â He cries, his eyes squeezing shut as he inhales sharply, âIâve never been more confused in my life.â
She nods her head softly, her free hand reaching up to rake her fingers through his hair.
He frowns, his heart thumping in his chest. He looks into her eyes, filled with concern and sanity as she maps his features.
âItâs been ever since me and Savannah got together.â He mumbles, eyes watching her face as it pales slightly at his words.âYou havenât spoken to me since.â
Her eyes flutter shut as he speaks, finding it completely pointless to try and make him believe otherwise. He deserves to know, one way or another, and even if itâs now, she feels like sheâs already lost him. There isnât much sheâd be losing now, anyways.
âPlease leave, Harry.â She whispers, shaking her head as she backs away from him.
Her touch leaving him was like a gunshot to his chest. Itâs a feeling heâs felt all too much that he canât bare to feel again.Â
His heart breaks as he watches her begin to cry, her usual glistening eyes now filled with tears of sorrow. He shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he tentatively takes a step closer to her.
Heâs desperate, and he doesnât care how weak he seems. Heâs desperate to see where heâs missed it all along, to know how long heâs been making her feel this way. Heâll never forgive himself for all the pain heâs caused her, for all her nights alone when all she wanted was to be with him.
He could have done so much to change this. If he had just listened to his heart from the beginning, this would all be different now. If he hadnât been so blind, they would both be happy right now.
âDonât.â she whispers, her voice cracking as she speaks, âPlease, donât.â
She isnât exactly sure what sheâs sayingâisnât quite sure what sheâs begging him not to do. Maybe itâs the nickname heâs always called her that makes he stomach twist a bit more, or how heâs trying to make her feel better that makes her eyes sting with a fresh new wave of tears, or how he looks at her now the way he never did before that makes her throat tighten around a sob. Whatever it is that makes her beg, she canât  handle it anymore.
âIâm trying, Y/n,â He whispers, âplease.â
âPlease justââ her eyes flutter shut as she speaks, âjust leave me alone.â
Harry lets out an unsteady breath, his green eyes brimmed with red as he watches her begin to sob.Â
He nods, because he canât let himself keep doing this to her. If he keeps trying with her in her current state of mind, she wonât be able to think properly. Sheâll be a wreck, more so than she is now, and he canât find it in his heart to do that. Even if it means fighting for her.
âItâs not worth it, you know.â He whispers, his eyes staring lovingly into hers, âBeing with her, itâs not worth it if it means losing you.â
