〝 With rhythm there is rhyme,
With you, there always can be. 〞
˖᯽ ݁─ Toph Beifong x Fem!Reader
synopsis: Toph is always ranting to you about her on and off situationship, Kanto, running to you whenever they were off again or whenever she missed you. You keep hoping that maybe one day, she’ll finally choose you in a room full of people.
warnings: angst, hurt/little to no comfort, swearing, no use of y/n, might be a bit ooc, swearing, yearning, pining, not proofread
a/n: kinda based on my own experience that almost sent me into psychosis
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“So when’re you gonna cut him off for good?” you asked blunty, pushing around the noodles that were floating around in the soup with your chopsticks.
It was both a blessing and a curse that Toph couldn’t see the annoyed look on your face.
She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “You always ask that—it’s not like I can schedule shit like that.”
You frowned. “And you always respond with that.”
“What else am I supposed to say? That I’m gonna end things with him on Tuesday next week?”
“What I’m saying is—” I can be better. I can treat you better.
“Give him an ultimatum or something, tell him to pack his shit and leave you alone for Agni’s sake if he isn’t serious about you.” you were used to this, being your friends’ shoulder to cry on when they faced boy problems, giving advice that they only listened to thirty percent of the time.
But being Toph’s one call away whenever she had problems with Kanto was different. Difficult.
“…You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” you whispered, Toph’s ears barely catching on to it.
She huffed, her milky eyes staring off in the distance. “…Whatever.”
You groaned, running a hand through your hair. She was as stubborn as the boulders she bent. “You always come running back to me when things aren’t okay with him,”
“Yet you never follow my advice.”
“I didn’t ask for your advice.”
“Then what do you want me to say? To keep telling you what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear?”
“I didn’t—ugh!” she groaned, palms clasped over her face before she pulled them away, sending a glare to the wall over your shoulder. “I just need you to listen.”
“And I need you to listen. He isn’t good for you.” a bitter laugh left your lips. It was a fact she was blind physically, but romantically? Her blindness was like she wasn’t on solid land.
“Toph,” you took her hands into yours, squeezing. “You’re an amazing person—you’re beautiful—” you bit your tongue for a second too long as you said that. You rarely called anyone beautiful even if it was as clear as day they were.
But even if she couldn’t see it herself, she was. Inside and out.
“You created metalbending for crying out loud!” you squeezed her hand again, hoping your point would get across. “You deserve someone who’ll give you the world.”
“…I wanted to be his world.”
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A knock on your apartment door suddenly pulled you out of the novel your were currently engrossed in.
You already knew who it was.
You opened the door, only to be met with the same pearly eyes.
“I missed you.” she wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you into a tight hug despite still being in your doorway.
You huffed, hoping she wouldn’t feel your racing heart despite her seismic sense and her chest pressed against yours, heart to heart.
But you knew she did; and you knew neither of you would say anything about it.
Did you miss me or was he just not around?
You sighed, wrapping your arm loosely around her as you pulled her inside, closing the door behind you. You stood there with her for a moment, her calloused hands rubbing against yours skin.
“What happened this time?” you asked, finally pulling away from her as you led her to your couch despite her having memorized your apartment layout ages ago. You headed to the fridge, taking out two bottles of beer and heading back, handing out the cold bottle to her.
She took it, popping it open with ease before she did the same with yours. “Nothing.”
“I don’t need your seismic sense to know you’re lying.” you took a sip from your beer, grimacing slightly at the taste and coldness.
“We just—“ she huffed, her bangs flying up slightly. “…It just isn’t working out.”
You couldn’t hep the spark inside you and weight lifted off your shoulders when she said that. Maybe she was finally realizing the guy was no good for her—that what she needed was right here in front of her.
“Is this for good?” you inquired.
She didn’t answer your question, instead, taking a big chug from her beer as if that and her silence would substitute for words.
“…Seriously?” you blurted out, annoyance and frustration rising inside you. “Are you actually being serious right now?”
“What?” she raised an eyebrow, caught off guard by your outburst.
“Seriously, Toph? After everything he’s done?” you scoffed bitterly. “What’s so special about him?”
“What the hell are you going on about—“
“I’m going on about this. Us.”
“Us?” she echoed. “Yes, Toph, us.”
You shifted in your seat, properly facing her now. You licked your lips, resisting the urge to pick at the dry skin. “What are we?”
You weren’t just friends, that’s for sure.
There was no way you imagined everything—the lingering touches, how you showed each other vulnerability; sides that almost no one else saw except for you two. The laughter, the fun, the tears. From the playful and loud banter to the quiet and intimate nights spent in each other’s bed and each other’s arms, bringing warmth to the otherwise cold night.
She pressed her lips together, a pensive look as she knitted her eyebrows together. “…I don’t know.”
The weight that had originally lifted on your shoulders a few moments ago was suddenly back, and ten times heavier than before.
You could handle rejection. You could handle her saying that you were just friends—that she truly loved Kanto. Certainty. You could handle certainty.
But this? This…undefined answer? this uncertainty? You didn’t know what to do with it.
You didn’t know whether to keep holding onto that hope that Toph will finally return your feelings, or maybe if you should stop looking for hope to hold onto; there being nothing there to hold in the first place.
“So…this whole time,” you scoffed, everything coming onto you too fast. “I was the only one thinking that maybe you loved me too?”
Toph’s jaw twitched at that. You could see it—you could read her all too well. This wasn’t from her wanting to reject you, but how conflicted she was.
“You’re stupid for thinking that.”
The words felt like a rock hitting your chest, over and over.
Hot tears blurred your vision, slamming the bottle of beer on the coffee table, your breath coming out in heavy pants. “Maybe I am. Maybe I am so pathetically stupid for you.”
You stood up, not bearing to be sitting beside her now. Your bare feet padded at the floor as you paced, feeling as if you wanted to pull all your hair out.
“You drive me insane, you know that?” you turned to face her, her knuckles turning white around the body of the bottle.
“Do you know how it feels to not know what to do with my feelings every time you come running back to me about your problems with him?”
She stood up abruptly, placing down the beer bottle on the coffee table next to yours as se moved to stand in front of you. “I never asked you to stay.”
The words stung more than you wanted to admit. She was right, but you also weren’t trying to use that against her.
“I know.” you whispered, a tear trickling down your skin. “But Agni forbid if I lie about how seeing you like that made my heart hurt in so many ways knowing you don’t deserve that—that I can be better.”
“I don’t…I don’t know what you want me to do.”
The air went thick, the tension close to snapping, for better or for worse.
“I don’t want to be your fucking friend. I want you.” you repeated, voice laced thick with the pent up emotions you’ve been keeping for months.
“You altered my brain chemistry, Toph. You changed the way I look at love, you made me want to be gentler with the world.”
Your lip quivered. “I need you to need me back.” you quickly wiped away the wetness on your cheeks, even though it was pointless.
“I can’t be what you need.” her voice was more solemn than it should be. More solemn than any rejection should be.
The sound of your front door slamming shut echoed in your ears as your gaze stayed fixed on the ground, tears dripped, one by one.
You let her leave, but your door would never be fully closed for her.
You’d welcome her back if she’d need you.
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a/n: do u guys want a pt.2 w/ like toph’s perspective or more toph fics
i lit have so many toph x reader fic prompts pending in my notes app
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