a man always rock 'n' rolls!

drake / 20+

[milaza]

hi i'm pretty much off social media these days so if you want to see what i'm up to art/writing-wise, please join my mailing list \o/ i just send out 1 email per month with links to recent blog posts/art and any big updates!

and a bit more context on how i've been in general: i posted before about how i wasn't sure about existing online as an artist to begin with and that has been exacerbated by some triggering incident IRL. basically, japanese naked gay muscle bars are scary even if you go with a friend.

but i'm taking antidepressants and going through therapy so i am doing quite a bit better now. i've been able to write again for the first time in months, and currently aim to share 3-4 posts per month.

i've also been able to draw again for the first time in forever. i'm just focusing on photo study at the moment. i don't think i'll go back to posting much fanart or on socmed anytime soon, but i'd like to tackle some bigger projects come 2026 (including returning to a project i had to put on hold due to depression).

so if you want to keep in touch please do join the mailing list! it is mostly for people who don't use RSS to follow my blog, but i'll also include christmas card notices and the like through it. thanks!

[milaza]

hi i'm pretty much off social media these days so if you want to see what i'm up to art/writing-wise, please join my mailing list \o/ i just send out 1 email per month with links to recent blog posts/art and any big updates!

and a bit more context on how i've been in general: i posted before about how i wasn't sure about existing online as an artist to begin with and that has been exacerbated by some triggering incident IRL. basically, japanese naked gay muscle bars are scary even if you go with a friend.

but i'm taking antidepressants and going through therapy so i am doing quite a bit better now. i've been able to write again for the first time in months, and currently aim to share 3-4 posts per month.

i've also been able to draw again for the first time in forever. i'm just focusing on photo study at the moment. i don't think i'll go back to posting much fanart or on socmed anytime soon, but i'd like to tackle some bigger projects come 2026 (including returning to a project i had to put on hold due to depression).

so if you want to keep in touch please do join the mailing list! it is mostly for people who don't use RSS to follow my blog, but i'll also include christmas card notices and the like through it. thanks!

[milaza]

hi i'm pretty much off social media these days so if you want to see what i'm up to art/writing-wise, please join my mailing list \o/ i just send out 1 email per month with links to recent blog posts/art and any big updates!

and a bit more context on how i've been in general: i posted before about how i wasn't sure about existing online as an artist to begin with and that has been exacerbated by some triggering incident IRL. basically, japanese naked gay muscle bars are scary even if you go with a friend.

but i'm taking antidepressants and going through therapy so i am doing quite a bit better now. i've been able to write again for the first time in months, and currently aim to share 3-4 posts per month.

i've also been able to draw again for the first time in forever. i'm just focusing on photo study at the moment. i don't think i'll go back to posting much fanart or on socmed anytime soon, but i'd like to tackle some bigger projects come 2026 (including returning to a project i had to put on hold due to depression).

so if you want to keep in touch please do join the mailing list! it is mostly for people who don't use RSS to follow my blog, but i'll also include christmas card notices and the like through it. thanks!

[milaza]

preview of my enjin/shinsoku illustration for @idolmasterzine. orders open until the end of may, go check it out!

[idolmasterzine]

THE iDOLM@STER 20th anniversary zine, YE@RBOOK, is now up for order until May 31 23:59 PT! This fanbook features the artwork of 250+ artists and all 300+ iM@S characters from every branch in yearbook-style portraits and photos.

We're also reprinting the SideM 10th anniversary zine from 2024!

✨ A5 / Full-color 68P / $20 USD 📖 Preorder here!

[milaza]

idk what to do with my art anymore ngl

basically i'm not as mentally ill as i used to be thanks to my medication. as a result i can go outside without feeling suicidal and realized i enjoy living IRL and interacting with humans more than i enjoy browsing social media and drawing fanart

i really like my current writing job so i've made no attempt to work in art since 2023. at this point i'm not sure if i'm even aiming for an art industry job— much of it was wanting to create art in a largely anonymous "behind-the-scenes" way but now that i'm not constantly wanting to die i think i could pursue other things

but i'm stuck on where to focus my time and energy. although i have skills i don't have anything to show for it outside of fanart and given how limited my time is idk what i should do!

rn i'm just focused on improving my physical health and IRL social skills but if i want some art-related work in the future i need to lock in in the second half of 2025 -_-

i may or may not remake my account sometime. i'll talk to a career counselor or such to figure out what i want to do with original art but yeah i'm pretty much over posting fanart (outside of uploading stuff i've already drawn)

plugging my blog because i post writing once every three months

[milaza]

Do you take commissions?

i have a vgen here! due to work i'm super slow on stuff tho, like 1~3 month turnaround

[milaza]

been touching grass a lot lately

[milaza]

lately i've been wanting to change my art name but milaza is really too perfect... i don't draw anything embarrassing i think it's more my writing that pisses me off rn. tbh i wouldn't be so bothered if my irl coworker didn't have my website bookmarked like girl delete that shit $*(#&(@*$

[pcholkachai]

art trade with @milaza! it's nice to draw a different breed of yaoi sometimes

[milaza]

asking for art trades is super awkward but now i'm like fuck it i just want to go down my discord list and beg everyone to trade art with me (please stop me from doing this) (btw mutuals art trade with me please)

[milaza]

i just remembered when i went to japan i visited capcom cafe and i saw artwork by THE original tosaka trio guy (the japanese fan who came up with the knightley/atmey/wellington combo to begin with) in person

[milaza]

banana bastards

[milaza]

i just realized i never posted a photo of my little keyes baggie!

[milaza]

piece of cake 🍰

[idolmasterzine]

Introducing YE@RBOOK!

We're making a physical fanbook for THE iDOLM@STER's 20th anniversary! All 300+ idols included, every signup accepted! Fill out the interest check by November 10th if you're interested in drawing for it or buying a copy. Reblogs appreciated, thank you!

✨ Interest check / Carrd / Twitter

The format will be split into two parts: Yearbook Portraits and Photos. Basically, you can sign up to draw single character headshots and/or full background illustrations. It's up to you!

[milaza]

i really like doing pieces with complex compositions but there's always like a million things i only notice after posting that i want to fix...