No Braincells, Only Cool Rocks @milf-corporate - Tumblr Blog

don't go on indeed dot com at 2am they start showing you the job listings for gnomes and talking squirrels

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

torchichate

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

dorian-they

sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog

there's literally nothing more radical in 2026 than believing that humanity can become good news for each other and the only world we'll ever share.

liminalbeauty

Saving the tags.

depsidase

assiraphales

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

god-offical

I have realized that most of my posts on this blog are no longer religious jokes

To make up for this, I will be making a new rainbow, composed of 3 new colors never before seen: Djiuf, Bobbleboob, and Vietnam

Those are the three new colors that’ll be released soon, stay tuned

god-offical

To all those wondering what happened to our new colors, we decided to test them on a random person at a random point in time and their head kind of exploded. We here at Heaven would like to profusely apologize to Mr. Kennedy and his family.

beardedmrbean

ishowdespair-deactivated2026012

thememedaddy

mezool

my understanding is that euphoria is evil riverdale. which is weird, because riverdale is already evil riverdale

timberwind

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

juicydangler

theconcealedweapon

maarvarq

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

theconcealedweapon

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

tiny-space-whale

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.