Silent, No More
I am the victim of bullying within the community. So I'm going to weigh in here, in December, I stepped up, competed in Indiana and won a regional title to represent Midwest Bearpack as a title holding ambassador to build bridges and promote positive things about the Bear community. In February, I went to North American Bear where I competed for a title from them. At the start of the contest, I became aware that one of my potential judges would have had a conflict with me because of his relationship status with his partner who does not like me. I raised this concern privately with the NAB producer who reassured me he would handle it. On night two of the contest, I was told that I was spending too much time in the masculine side of the pool and that I needed to reconnect with the community. I knew based on that comment, that I was not going to place, but I put on a brave face and finished the competition and supported the rest of the contestants. During the contest there was a contestant who was high on meth and this was reported also, yet he was allowed to finish the competition, in violation of established rules. There were also many other negative things about that event, but, I am only reflecting on the relevant issues. I placed 16th out of 17 contestants, one place above the drug user. I was upset with the contest and the outcome, but I refused to go public with it because I didn't want to hurt the charities that were supported by the event, so being the guy I am, I fell on my sword. In August, a new event, World Bear was inaugurated and I was quietly asked not to attend, not that I wanted to attend anyway, but silencing me was the order of the day. I supported one of the contestants who went and they confided in me about someone who was stating that their contests are rigged. I encouraged the contestant to follow through with the contest and simply be themselves and represent. Now, I find this photo being posted publicly by three of the five title winners of North American Bear along with one of the judges of that contest. How do I know that I'm the target of this particular brand of hatred and exclusion? I submit the following:
1) The T-shirt design is done with a shield. At NAB, I represented myself as a police officer and brought an interpretation of Captain America to the stage. I was the only one with a shield.
2) The gentleman wearing the mesh shirt, offered to coach me personally to potentially win a future title, the caveat being I was to tell no one. #ihavethereceipts. Being the cop that I am, I saved that conversation.
3) Two of the three title winners represent prior relationships with judges. This became common knowledge and thus during the contest a disclaimer was put out about the fairness of the event.
4) One of the title holders had a sexual relationship with one of the judges plus a contest coordinator during the event.
5) Finally, if this is not directed at me, then why the hard push to declare the contest was fair, when publicly, I never stated anything to the contrary until today and now. By doing this photo, this only leads me to believe that this was done in an effort to bully me personally to keep me silent. I will remain silent no more. I'm used to being hated on because I'm a cop, but to hate on me because of my stature as a masculine male is beyond the pale. I make no apologies for not being feminine, but that is just not who I am. I am simply a guy who stood up to build bridges and help repair those fractures between cops and the LGBTQ community. I stood up to lead and to be a light. As you can see, sadly, there is nothing more than the promotion of hatred, exclusion, and a bully culture. Some of you may now hate me or call me divisive because I am speaking the truth. I just ask that you have an open mind when you look at my side and look at it objectively. I'm not asking for anyone to unfriend people or flame people because of this. I just want the hypocrisy and double standards known and how hurtful people are, especially when they claim to be better than most by wearing a title. Thank you for listening.
#iwillnotbesilent, #noroomforbullies, #timeforrealchange, #stoptheabuse, #noh8
