Content: 'Slursagi' trends on twitter
The first time you found out about ‘slursagi’ was on your third date. The two of you had decided to take a walk down one of his favorite streets, a simple and peaceful activity he often enjoyed. You’d quickly learned how much he appreciated these strolls, finding relaxation in the hum of natural life around him.
As the walk stretched on, hunger crept up on both of you, and the nearest option happened to be a small street vendor selling taiyaki. The smell of the warm, sweet treats made your stomach rumble, so you both decided to stop. While you waited in line, Isagi fumbled with his wallet, muttering something about having too many receipts stuffed into it.
Out of nowhere, a random guy walked up behind you and grabbed your ass. You yelped, startled and horrified. Unfortunately, incidents like this weren’t unheard of in the rougher areas of town, where random creeps thought they could get away with anything.
But before you could even process what had happened, Isagi was already moving. It was as if he had some kind of metavision. You couldn’t help but briefly wonder if he was secretly a vampire like Edward Cullen with how fast he processed it.
Without hesitation, Isagi spun around and delivered a punch square to the guy’s face, the impact so forceful it sent the creep stumbling backward. And then he said it. Words you never thought you’d hear from the soft-spoken and polite Yoichi Isagi.
“If you ever touch another girl again, especially my girl, I’ll cut your dick off and force-feed it down your throat, you scummy, fucking, monkey-brained filthy roach.” The sheer venom in his tone left you stunned. It was such a stark contrast to the sweet, dorky guy you knew. Isagi wasn’t just a soft-spoken boy with a love for soccer, snacks, his parents, and you. He was fiercely protective of the people he cared about.
The creep quickly fled, muttering something unintelligible under his breath, but Isagi didn’t look away until he was sure the guy was gone. Then, turning back to you, he immediately softened, his hands reaching out to make sure you were okay.
“Are you alright, Y/n-chan?” he asked, his voice returning to its usual gentle tone.
You nodded, still slightly in shock but feeling a newfound appreciation for the man standing in front of you.
That day, you learned two things about Isagi Yoichi. One: he cursed like a sailor when the situation called for it. And two: he would go to war to protect you.
The peaceful stillness of the morning was shattered by the relentless buzzing of Isagi’s phone. It felt like the world was ending with the sheer number of notifications lighting up the screen. Ever since he’d shot to fame and made friends in Blue Lock, you’d been telling that little idiot to put his phone on “Do Not Disturb” before bed, but he never listened. To make matters worse, he was a heavy sleeper, so naturally, you were the one stuck dealing with it.
You were currently trapped in a bear lock, his strong arms securely wrapped around you, holding you in place. To make things more inconvenient, his phone was on the opposite side of the bed, meaning you’d have to climb over him to turn it off. You wiggled in his grasp, trying to break free, but his firm biceps made it difficult.
“Yoichi…” you mumbled groggily, your voice still heavy with sleep. No response. You tried again, wriggling harder, and after what felt like an eternity, you managed to slip out of his hold. He remained sound asleep, drooling on his pillow like the idiot he was—an idiot you couldn’t help but find adorable.
Carefully climbing over him, you reached for his phone, ready to put an end to the constant notifications. But as your eyes landed on the screen, curiosity got the better of you. The group chat he shared with some of the Blue Lock members was blowing up. You hesitated for a moment before sneaking a peek at the messages.
You quickly switched to Twitter. The entire internet was in an uproar over a clip of Isagi absolutely roasting Kaiser. The video had apparently been clipped from the background of a Facebook Live that Chris Prince was hosting to promote his water brand. In the back, Isagi had lost his patience with Kaiser’s bullshit, calling him a “Sausage-creating, Hansel-and-Gretel-watching, sauerkraut-munching, monkey” among other… colorful insults.
Memes and jokes were everywhere. You couldn’t decide whether to laugh or scold Isagi for the potential PR disaster. Some were happy Isagi put Kaiser in his place, others found his choice of words hilarious. You snickered, flopping back onto your side of the bed, phone in hand. Then, turning toward your sleeping boyfriend, you shook him awake.
“Huh? Wha—? Yes! I’d still love you if you were a worm!” he mumbled, scrambling awake and spouting nonsense.
“What?” you asked, blinking at him in disbelief.
“Oh… uh… good morning, love.” He gave you a sleepy smile, but his eyes noticed his phone in your hand, then back to your not-so-amused expression.
“What’d I do this time?” he asked, pouting and puffing out his cheeks like a kid caught sneaking candy. You couldn’t hold back your laughter at his expression.
“Here, look,” you said, squishing his cheeks playfully as you handed him the phone.
He scrolled through the notifications, his face slowly turning red as he read the messages. On the field, Isagi was harsh and determined, but off the field? He was a bundle of shy awkwardness, and the contrast was always entertaining.
“Fuck,” was all he managed to say after reading everything. He shot off a quick message to his friends before tossing the phone onto the nightstand.
“You think anyone would believe me if I said it was a fake AI-generated video?” he asked, his tone hopeful.
“No, baby. I don’t think so.”
“Well at least they’re mostly just laughing. That’s good, right? No one seems mad.” he stuck his tongue out like a sad cat.
“Yeah, because it was funny as hell,” you replied with a grin.
“The root of all my problems is that braindead clown fucker.” Isagi rolled his eyes before trying to settle back comfortably again in bed.
“You kiss your mother with that mouth, Isagi?” You messed with him.
“Yeah, and I kiss my girlfriend with it too,” He leaned in, attempting to kiss you, but you pulled away, and his face twisted into a look of betrayal. He looked at you as if you had just stabbed him and stole his wallet.
“Bruh,” he said, his voice laced with indignation.
“I’m not kissing that filthy mouth,” you teased, shaking your head.
“As if your language is any cleaner!” he shot back. Ugh, so sassy.
"How do you think your parents would feel? Do you have any shame?" you teased, sighing dramatically as if you were truly scandalized. Isagi rolled his eyes at your exaggerated attempt to mock him, already accustomed to your antics. He thought girlfriends were supposed to be sweet and supportive, not relentless little trolls.
"Good thing they have no idea how to operate the internet," he mumbled, his voice groggy. His eyes were still half-closed, and it was obvious he was debating whether to stay awake or fall back asleep. The way your fingers intertwined with his and your gentle touch playing with his hair wasn’t helping his case for staying conscious. It was too soothing.
"Slursagi," you snickered, a soft laugh escaping as you tried not to wake him fully.
"Mmmhnf, don’t call me that," he whined, dragging out the words in a sleepy, childlike complaint.
"My," you said, leaning down to place a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. "Foul," you added, kissing the other corner. "Mouthed," another kiss. "Boyfriend," one more.
By now, he was grumbling, brows furrowed in mild irritation. "Just kiss me already," he muttered, clearly unimpressed by the teasing. He wanted a real kiss, not these fleeting corner-of-the-lip ones you were so smugly doling out.
"Make me, Slursagi," you teased, the name rolling off your tongue with a mischievous smirk.
"I said stop calling me that, brat," he grumbled, his voice low and laced with annoyance.
Oh? That tone caught your attention.
"Or what?" you challenged.
Isagi cracked one eye open to glare at you, his face a mix of sleepiness and displeasure. It was clear he wasn’t going to let you off the hook so easily this time. His expression practically screamed, keep testing me, and you’ll find out.
You decided to back off, realizing you weren’t ready to deal with feral Isagi this early in the morning. As tempting as it was to keep teasing him, you knew you’d be the one paying the price if you pushed him too far. Nope, not today.
Instead, you just chuckled to yourself, leaning back against the pillows as Isagi snuggled closer, clearly surrendering to sleep again. His breathing grew softer, and soon, he was fully asleep, his face buried comfortably against your shoulder.
Meanwhile, you scrolled through Twitter, quietly laughing at all the memes people had already whipped up about him. They ranged from clever wordplay to ridiculous photoshops of Isagi. One particularly hilarious edit had Isagi wielding a soccer ball like Thor’s hammer, with the caption: 'Isagi Yoichi: Destroyer of Egos.'
You had to stifle your laughter to avoid waking him. As chaotic as the morning had been, you couldn’t help but feel a little proud and deeply amused by the man that was your boyfriend. Your ‘slursagi’