Am I the only one who reads hockey romance on Kindle Unlimited and immediately cringes when there’s a typo? The worst is when a character’s name is misspelled. 🤦🏻♀️
I am so nostalgic for a period of my life circa two years ago when I started watching Daredevil. Falling in love with Hell’s Kitchen, and Matt’s world for the first time was a peak core memory. Those late night binge sessions made grueling summer days worthwhile. I’m afraid nothing will compare to that feeling ever again.
The blue Illyrian training ribbon wrapped around his wrists was enchanted to withstand Illyrian strength, and Gwyn had tied it with elegant precision, as if she’d spent weeks preparing for this.
He strained once, just to test it.
It didn’t budge.
A low, guttural sound rumbled in his chest.
Gods help him.
He was naked.
Powerless.
Stretched out beneath her with his arms bound and his shadows slinking out of reach, banished to the far corners of the room.
She sat at the foot of the bed first, legs crossed, as if pondering how to break him.
And he let her. Eagerly.
The lace she wore—Mother above. Sheer white, soft and clinging, so delicate it looked like it might dissolve under his breath.
The bodice hugged her breasts, the fabric cut high between her legs, just enough to tease, to tempt.
She wasn’t shy. Not anymore.
Gwyn had grown into fire and steel and the kind of quiet confidence that came from surviving something, then owning it.
She met his gaze head-on as she crawled over him, her copper waves tumbling over her shoulders.
When she straddled his chest, Azriel’s heart damn near stopped.
“You wore that for me,” he rasped, voice already hoarse.
Gwyn tilted her head. “I did.” Her eyes sparkled. “You going to earn it?”
“I’ll worship you.” It left him without thought. Without shame.
She smiled—soft, almost fond—then lifted herself and slid forward.
Azriel stopped breathing.
Her thighs braced on either side of his face, warm and soft and trembling ever so slightly.
And then, with devastating calm, she lowered herself onto his mouth.
His groan was immediate.
Deep.
Desperate.
He angled his head just right, gripped the sheets beneath him with bound hands, and tasted her.
She was soaked.
His tongue licked a long, slow stroke through her folds, savoring every part of her.
He circled her clit with practiced precision, then pressed his mouth there, sucking—gently at first—then firmer as her hips twitched.
Gwyn gasped, her thighs tightening, one hand flying to the headboard for balance, the other fisting in his hair.
She ground down, slowly, riding his mouth in little movements that made his cock throb painfully against his stomach.
Azriel moaned into her, the vibration pulling another sharp gasp from her lips.
She was so responsive, so alive. Every shift of her hips dragged a sinful, wet sound from between them, every slick roll of her body sent his blood roaring in his ears.
He groaned at the heady taste of her—slick and hot on his tongue—and drank her in like a man parched.
“Az,” she breathed, high and sharp, hips stuttering forward. “Gods—Azriel—”
He only answered with a groan and another sweep of his tongue, circling, flicking, then pressing just the way he knew she liked.
She whimpered and moved faster, chasing her pleasure with reckless grace.
Her lace rubbed against his cheeks, damp and fragrant, and her scent filled his lungs, his mouth, his soul.
He was utterly at her mercy—the ribbon digging into his skin as he strained to touch her, hold her, anchor her.
But she held the power.
“Don’t stop,” she panted, her voice breaking. “Don’t you dare—”
He didn’t.
Couldn’t.
Wouldn’t.
Everything else vanished—there was only the desperate roll of her hips, the breathless moans she couldn’t hold back, and the slick, intoxicating heat of her as she came apart against his mouth.
A gasp, strangled and helpless, tore from her as her release crashed through her, thighs locking around his face. She kept moving—little, jerking rolls of her hips as his tongue coaxed every last wave from her.
He moaned against her again, swallowing it all, worshipping every tremble.
And when she finally lifted off, her legs shaky and face flushed, she stared down at him like he was her own personal ruin.
Azriel panted beneath her, lips wet with her, chest heaving.
“Gwyn,” he whispered, voice rough and low, eyes heavy with need and something softer—something almost like awe. “You’ll be the death of me.”
Her fingers curled gently against his jaw, warm and steady. “Then let me be the last thing you ever see.”
She pressed a lingering kiss to his temple—just a touch—before pulling back, eyes locked on his.
Notes: Going to try my hand at something a little darker. No plans for what's going to happen next, so it might be a hot minute before the next part. 🖤
Also high-key for my Ghost girlies 🤭
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Thursday, October 31st
The city streets are crowded for the holiday, and Azriel’s there, too.
He must choose his target carefully, but he’s had one picked out since the first time he saw her strolling down the rainy streets one evening, all alone with no protection, head buried in her phone.
And that target is you.
He keeps his head dipped low as not to call attention to himself. The dark hood of his sweatshirt curls over his head, concealing his features. All attempts at blending in are futile, because he isn’t dressed as a cinematic axe murderer or a gimmicky super hero. He’s clothed as he always is; black hoodie and matching jeans, paired with thick-soled, military grade boots.
It doesn’t matter, anyway, because you haven’t noticed him in the forty-three days, sixteen hours, fifteen minutes, and twenty-one…twenty-two seconds that he’s been following you.
Azriel can recount how you live your days by heart. He doesn’t need to, because you haven’t left his line of sight since he’d set his focus on you. At five-thirty, you wake up. In the gym at the top floor of your apartment complex by six. You run on the treadmill Mondays and Fridays, attempt the Stairmaster on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with sporadic weight-lifting in between. It hurts to watch, and there have been a handful of times Azriel has wanted to give up his position, make himself known in your life, and show you proper form in and outside of the gym. Wednesday is your rest day. After that it’s back to your apartment to get ready for your day. Protein shake, shower, blow-dry your hair, followed by breakfast, dressing in whatever you wear to your office, though he thinks he might even have your outfits memorized because there are only so many options in your tiny closet.
Tonight, you’re dressed as a scantily clad little red riding hood, which only makes him feel even more like the big, bad wolf that he is. He has much too patience, too much time, and has too much interest invested in you.
It’s dark, which is his home. He’s always sought comfort in the black of night, has had to with the household her grew up in, where he was often locked in the closet for bad behavior that was in no way his own doing. He would stay in there for so long his parents forgot, that time lost all meaning. Inside of that closet, he learned that he could fear the dark or thrive in it, and Azriel chose the latter.
Azriel slides off of the bus stop bench, trailing you and your friend. His eyes are sharp, calculating as he drinks in the surroundings. He is always on alert, even though the streets are filled with joyous laughter and squealing children that make the constant ringing in his ears sound like symbols clashing, reverberating his eardrums in the most annoying sense.
He shakes his head clear and refocuses on his target.
You’re with a friend. Morrigan. She’s the one that always has you rolling your eyes when you take her phone calls. Azriel knows this because he screens them. He doesn’t like her one bit, thinks that there are better options in your friend group that you should hang out with more, like Feyre or Tarquin. If Azriel really thought that he could pull it off, Mor would be gone from your life for good.
Okay, he knows that he can pull something exactly like that off. He didn’t train for a decade as a Night Stalker in the Army to not know how to murder quickly and quietly. Years of training has turned Azriel into a nocturnal animal. Always watching, always waiting for the right moment to strike.
You stumble over the curb when you cross the street and Azriel’s fists tighten in his pockets. You’re not paying any attention to your surroundings. There could people out here who want to bring harm upon you, and you’re too unaware, much too focused on the story Mor is telling you, her voice so loud that Azriel can hear her nasally pitch over the crowd of teens he shoves his way through.
“Hey!” A girl in a skeleton shirt snaps. Azriel deigns her a microsecond of a look. Cheap skeleton mask pushed up into her hair. Black circles painted around her eyes. Much too old to be trick-or-treating. “Watch it!”
Azriel’s only response is to snatch the mask off of her head and keep walking.
The teen calls out after him, outraged, but her friends circle in on her, making sure that she doesn’t start something that they can’t finish. She’s shouting something about getting him on video and that she’s calling her father, who she claims is the chief of police in this corrupt city.
She really shouldn’t be flaunting that information.
He doesn’t have to look up at you to know where you and Mor are headed, but he does because he’s meticulous in his work, and a simple double-triple-even quadruple check is not out of the ordinary for him.
Azriel hates and loves the platform red heels you’re wearing. Hates them because you’ve tripped once already, and they’re not good for running should you run into trouble. That is, trouble that isn’t him, because when he comes for you, there will be no getting away.
He loves them because they look incredibly sexy on you, make your legs look miles tall, and he wants them hooked around his shoulders while he devours you.
Your heels are tall. You look like a fawn standing for the first time. Azriel could blame it on the two drinks and three shots you had at your apartment prior to moseying throughout the city to find a club that doesn’t have a line around the corner to party in for the night, but he’s seen you trip over less. Clumsy would be your middle name if he didn’t already know what it is.
The dress you’re wearing isn’t even a dress at all. The hem hits you just below your crotch, and he knows you’re not wearing any shorts beneath it because he’s caught sight of the little red bow on the waistband of your panties already. His jaw flexes where it’s locked together as the breeze lifts the cheap fabric.
You laugh, brushing down your skirts. He’s caught two father’s drinking you in like bloodhounds. There are women who stare, also, and more than a handful of teenagers. Azriel has to shove the violent thoughts from his mind. He should have made his move weeks ago, because you would never leave the house in something like this if he had anything to say about it.
The bodice of your top—if it can be considered a top at all—is tight, accentuating your curves and pushing your breasts to your chin. It’s raunchy. It’s seductive. You look like an escort, one who is paid top dollar for the services you’d offer.
The crimson cape you’re wearing is the most modest piece of clothing you have on. It’s pulled over your curled hair, blocking your peripherals. If he were to stalk closer to you, you’d never see him coming. Not that you would anyway, not until he’s ready for you to see him.
His cock twitches in his pants, and he rips his gaze from your legs, traveling upward until all he’s looking at is your matching red cloak that currently conceals the rest of your body from how you’ve wrapped it around yourself in a makeshift coat. It’s brisk this time in October, and Azriel would happily give you the clothes off his back if you’re cold, or to cover you up.
Azriel examines the mask he tore from the teens head. It’s a skull poorly sewn to a balaclava, and it makes him think of previous recon missions he’s been on where he’s had to wear a mask of his own. It trudges up a feeling in his gut like he’s been stabbed with a hot knife again, but he shoves it over his head anyway, and readjusts his hood.
You and Mor come to a stop at the crosswalk. There’s a group of people waiting at the light, so Azriel slips closer. He’s not worried about you seeing him. If you did, it wouldn’t matter anyway, because you have no idea who he is, that he knows you, has been following you. You are blissfully unaware, and that gives Azriel an uneasy edge.
You smell sweet, like candy and cherries. It’s his favorite of your perfumes. Intoxicating, delicious. He wants to crane down and press his nose into the crook of your neck, lick it off of you until you’re a whimpering mess with your hands buried deep in his hair and your back arched against him, begging him for more.
Mor’s voice pulls him back into the present. She talks about a man that she had a one-night stand with and is rating him on how well he pleasured her in bed. Not well, it sounds like, and Azriel knows that he’d had no trouble working you to orgasm because of the good girl you’d be for him.
Soon.
“And when do you suppose you’re getting laid again?” Morrigan scoffs when you tease her about her horribly lay. The walk sign lights up and the two of you begin to cross the street. Mor crosses her arms over her chest, and all the action does is push her breasts higher into the sky. A man Azriel passes curses low under his breath, eyes glued to her chest. Azriel checks him with his shoulder as he passes, causing the man to grunt and spit that same curse at him, this time sounding irritated instead of like a man cursed to have the beauty of a young woman flaunted in his face.
Azriel keeps walking, lengthening his strides as you turn a corner, nearly at the bar.
You sigh, long and lonely. It makes Azriel’s cock jump as he imagines you making that noise when he pulls his cock from your mouth only to allow you to swallow down a desperate breath before he’s shoving himself back down your throat. He’s heard you make that noise aplenty: while you’re dreaming sinful dreams and he’s standing in the darkness of your room, watching you.
He imagines the noises you might make with his fingers in your cunt or bouncing on his cock. With a plug nestled in that tight little ass and your hands tied to the headboard. With clamps around your nipples and his face buried between your legs. Moan, maybe, beg, scream, cry, thrash, writhe, plead beneath his touch.
The number of things he’d like to do to you is endless. He’s had over forty-three days to think about exactly what he’s going to do to you.
“I don’t know,” you respond. Azriel knows. “Whenever I find the right one, I guess.”
Mor laughs, and Azriel doesn’t fail to notice the way that your shoulders stiffen at the shrill sound. Another strike against the blonde. “See, that’s your problem! You’re all ‘I need to find the right man,’ but you’re never actually testing them out! It’s not like the man of your dreams is going to drop out of the sky—” Azriel could. He’s trained in that. “And sweep you off your feet. You have to try!”
The streets are busier in the heart of town. The demographic has changed from toddlers and children dressed in silly costumes to adults dressed in even less. The bars that line the street are all packed to the brim, and Azriel’s never been a fan of places with this many people, but he’s used to confined spaces, and being pressed up against a wall in a dark bar while watching you let loose for once won’t be the worst night of his life by far.
He knows which bar you’re going to. Rita’s, the dirtiest, diviest bar on the block. It’s been a staple in Velaris for years, and only the locals, but they play the best music. You and your friends have been going here since before it was legal. You hope that they’re here because Feyre mentioned she and Rhys were in the Uber, but you know that they tend to get sidetracked in each other more often than not.
Maybe Cassian or Tarquin will be there.
“I try!” you defend, but it weak. You hate being on dating apps, and the conversations with the guys that you do match with are drier than the Sahara. And within days they always unmatch you. “It’s not my fault that I’m looking for more interesting conversation than a ‘hey, how was your day,’ or ‘sorry I didn’t respond, I fell asleep.’” You’re not boring, you refuse to believe that you’re the problem in these situations. These men can be so boring sometimes, and your life is already mundane enough, you don’t need entertain a man who is going to pussy out on you before the first date or only wants you to put out.
You and Mor get into the short line. Attor is working the door tonight. He’s a. large, brooding security guard that’s been working for Rita’s forever. He’s known you and Mor since the first night you came here, when you were juniors in high school and Cassian convinced you all to come here after the team won the homecoming game. He’s allowed you in all these years, but never lets you cut the line.
Mor leans against the brick wall of the building, shooting you an offended look. You make a face because you’ve seen more people out here crouched and puking their guts up against these very walls. You’ve seen people fondling each other against it, too, and you’re fifty percent sure that Cassian slept propped up against it one night when he got a little too drunk to coordinate a ride home.
“You just have to get past that part,” she says, and you bite your lip to refrain from mentioning that none of the guys that she’s met online have stuck around. Maybe you should be thankful for that, because she’s the only other single girl in your friend group. It can’t just be you and Cassian as the single ones, because that would ruin your chances even further.
Azriel doesn’t follow you into the line. He notices the smoking area is a waist-high gate and wants to laugh at the security of this place. He bums a cigarette off of a guy who keeps eyeing him, and while the guard at the front door converses shortly with you and Mor, he lifts a leg and hooks it over the fence, easily making his way into the bar.
He slides through the plethora of people, quickly and with the stealth of a lethal predator. He’s been here before on multiple accounts, thanks to you, so he’s familiar with the terrain and knows that you and Mor are headed straight for the bar to order drinks before scoping out the place for your friends.
It’s muggy, musty. The air smells like body odor and alcohol. Everything’s made of wood: the bar, the floors, the walls. There’s a tiny disco ball over a stick floor where the tables have been pushed aside for a makeshift dancefloor that no one uses until two hours before closing when there’s more booze than blood in their veins.
Azriel slides in next to you at the bar, but keeps his back turned away from you. It’s not time yet, but he loves the warmth of your body beside his. Goosebumps break out across his skin when you accidentally brush up against him.
He tilts his head, listening.
“Well…there might be this one guy,” you trail off, and Azriel’s fingers curl into fists.
He doesn’t like the man you’re bringing up one bit. Has dug well into his life, and even if he hadn’t, Azriel would have been able to tell upon first glance that this man is not going to give you the relationship nor the orgasms you deserve.
“Bitch! Tell me now!” Mor shouts, and Azriel can picture the grin curving her red lips. When you open your mouth to speak, your friend quickly cuts you off. “Wait, wait, wait! We need drinks first.” She waves over Rita herself, the older woman greeting the both of you with warm smiles. She waves in your direction, beginning to make your drinks without even asking.
“You know, the world doesn’t revolve around relationships and how many people you’ve slept with,” you huff, and Azriel agrees. It’s not his world, because in his head, his world revolves around you and only you, but he’d support anything that came out of your mouth, especially if it’s in regards to the other men in your life.
“Okay,” Mor snorts again. The both of you thank Rita for your drinks and head away from the bar, thankfully saving Azriel from having to hear about this new conquest that isn’t even a conquest at all if he has anything to do about it.
So. Bring back on my hockey romance bullshit has been hella weird. I’ve developed a couple of crushes on real NHL players born the year I graduated high school 🥴🫠.
I don’t even have the capacity to delve into the way my maladaptive daydreaming crashes into my reality and it makes me feel very bad about myself.
It was so much easier to have crushes on fictional characters like Matt Murdock or Azriel Shadowsinger. They’re traumatized, broken men and you just know they’d love you for who you are.
Ugh, not feeling like I’m in great place mentally rn. So yeah.
So while I too liked the messiness of this scene despite the fact I am not a Karedevil shipper…
I think Matt was disoriented from being shot, meds, etc, but could sense Karen’s presence in the city. I think he would have preferred her presence at his bedside opposed to Heather’s.
I think the finale is potentially setting up Heather to be a villain next season.
DDBA Spoiler and my Catholic yapping below the cut.
The scene in episode five when Matt volunteers to stay behind in the bank so the husband and wife could get out together…. That’s the story of St. Maximilian Kolbe in a nutshell. Such a powerful story of love of neighbor. It made my Catholic heart SO SO SO incredibly happy.
John 15:13 says: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
This is the very essence of Matthew Michael Murdock, my fictional beloved.
I scoffed when Heather questioned Matt about his praying. She… doesn’t get it. She also told the Fisks that the greatest act of love is forgiveness. While that is important, I would argue sacrifice is the greatest act of love. Without sacrifice, there isn’t love.
I read spoilers because I’m unbothered by that sort of thing. That being said: I’m really excited to watch DDBA episodes 5 & 6 tonight. Last night I couldn’t be bothered to stay up past nine to watch an episode. Hoping these episodes are the moment I say: “we are so back!”
Some of you know I lost my Matt crush as I’ve entered my ✨romantasy era✨, but fingers crossed it will return again!
I found myself having such a hard time getting back into him in episodes 1-4, he didn’t seem like himself to me. The hollow apartment, nice suits, upgraded office, the new girlfriend who he doesn’t seem to have any chemistry with… I need the skrunkly depressed Catholic flirty lawyer with the bomb budget apartment, cheap wine, and the black mask DIY vigilante fit.
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