me because i b!nge at every small inconvenience in my life
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Peter Solarz

Kaledo Art

if i look back, i am lost
No title available
dirt enthusiast
noise dept.
Misplaced Lens Cap
Today's Document
I'd rather be in outer space đž

shark vs the universe
Three Goblin Art
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
NASA

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation

JVL

izzy's playlists!
Acquired Stardust

oozey mess
RMH
seen from United States

seen from TĂŒrkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from France

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Singapore

seen from Uruguay
seen from Brazil
seen from United Kingdom

seen from South Africa
seen from TĂŒrkiye
seen from United States

seen from Poland
seen from Netherlands

seen from Singapore

seen from TĂŒrkiye
seen from France

seen from United States
@mimi936
me because i b!nge at every small inconvenience in my life
I kinda miss my mom rn
I feel so dirty rn
how it feels waiting for the blood to fill up over the white in a styro
I lowkey want to respawn
I was dirty, so very dirty,
so I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed again. I bled,
so I scrubbed even harder. I scrubbed for so long that the water turned cold.
I was little, I didnât understand that this dirt was stuck to my skin. I thought that if I scratched hard enough,
it would come off.
That if I asked this dirt nicely, maybe it would stop clinging to me.
I know itâs hard for you to leave me behind
I kinda needed you to pull me closer every time I pulled away.
I promise you, in another world, I would love you the way you deserve.
But not in this one, Iâm sorry.
I love you too much for what you are.
I give you too much, and I expect the same in return.
I give you every part of my soul
so you wonât leave,
so you wonât abandon me,
so I wonât end up alone with myself.
alone with my thoughts
Because if I donât want to think,
itâs because I donât want to face these problems.
I want to ignore them,
to wait until they kill me,
instead of having to kill them myself.
One day, I realized that I loved to suffer.
I needed to feel pain to feel real.
Whether in my mind or on my body,
I needed to be hurt to know that Iâm here.
That I exist.
But everything is so fleeting.
Iâm aware of the world around me,
but I reject it.
I want to live again in another world,
a world created from nothing,
a world where I could find joy in my suffering
without being seen as strange
I will be a respectable adult.
I wonât be like my mother,
blaming the world for my own mistakes,
slipping until I become a waste of society.
I wonât be like my father,
living for the eyes of others,
pouring my anger onto the innocent.
I will be a respectable adult.
But like my mother,
I canât face the world when it becomes too hard.
I hide under my sheets,
I wait, A day, a month, a year.
This world is too heavy for me.
And like my father,
I am cold to others.
People exhaust me,
I have an aversion to their feelings.
Why should I understand them
when I donât even understand myself?
In the end,
I am just a failed teenager
who will probably become a failed adult.
But in my greatest dreams,
I am a respectable adult
I attach too fast and it hurts like hell
I was hungry, and I didnât realize it.
I couldnât notice I was asleep.
One day, I woke up.
So I ate, and ate, and ate.
My stomach hurt, but I kept going.
Then I wanted to fall asleep again,
but shame consumed me.
I couldnât go back to sleep,
so I let it all out.
all the roads lead back to the loneliness ive felt ever since i was a child
Am I the only one making scenarios about me committing? I lay in bed thinking about all the details and sit there and cry. I feel so guilty about it.