safety PSA for littles looking for a caregiver!!!
hey littles!!! 🧸💜 i wanna say this super gently but super clearly: you deserve softness AND safety. and if you’re looking for a caregiver (CG), especially if you’re a minor, safety has to be the main thing!!! 💗
a real caregiver will never rush you, pressure you, or make you feel scared. they’ll want you to be safe even if that means “no” or “slow.”
especially if you’re a minor (under 18)
i’m gonna be blunt because i care:
don’t look for an adult caregiver online. a random adult wanting to “caregive” a minor is a massive danger sign.
if anyone sexualizes your regression / calls it “k!nk” / asks for pics / flirts / talks about “rules” that involve your body: that’s not caregiving. that’s grooming. block + report immediately.
safest options for minors are usually: a trusted adult already in your life (parent/guardian, older sibling, trusted relative), a counselor/therapist, or moderated, minor-safe community spaces that don’t allow adult-minor “caregiving” dynamics.
red flags to look out for
they want to move to private DMs immediately (“don’t tell anyone about us,” “mods are annoying”)
they push for secrecy, exclusivity, or dependence (“i’m all you need,” “you don’t need friends”)
they ignore your boundaries even once (or argue with your “no”)
they pressure you to call them mom/dad/cg right away
they ask for your age/location/school, or try to “verify” you with pics
they guilt-trip you (“after all i’ve done for you…”, “you’re hurting me”)
they get jealous, controlling, or set punishments
they try to isolate you from trusted people or make you feel “bad” for checking in with friends
they make everything about them (their needs, their attention, their “authority”)
they’re okay going slow and letting trust build over time
they respect “no” the first time, every time
they encourage you to have a support system (friends, mods, trusted adults)
they’re comfortable with public conversation first (server chats, moderated spaces)
they talk about boundaries, consent, and safety like it’s normal (because it is)
they don’t need access to your personal info to be kind to you
keep it public at first (group chats / moderated servers > DMs)
tell a trusted person you’re talking to someone (and if you’re a minor, tell a trusted adult)
set boundaries in writing (what’s okay / not okay / hard no’s)
use separate accounts (don’t connect your little space to your personal identity)
protect your info: no full name, school, workplace, address, phone number, city landmarks, schedules
trust your body feelings: if you feel dread, pressure, confusion, or “uh-oh”, that’s info!
have an exit plan: you don’t owe a goodbye. block is a full sentence.
don’t send photos you wouldn’t want saved forever (even “innocent” ones)
don’t share your location, routine, or “i’m home alone” type info
don’t meet up with someone from the internet (and minors: don’t meet at all)
don’t let anyone convince you that boundaries are “mean” or “dramatic”
don’t accept “tests,” “punishments,” or “rules” from a stranger
if you’re little and reading this: you’re not “difficult” for needing safety. you’re wise! 💜🧸 and you deserve caretaking that feels like warm tea and a blanket!!!
