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Realization and Fears

July 14, 2019

It's getting better, my broken heart. It shattered into so many pieces and it's patching itself up, one emotion at a time.

Grief comes in so many forms. Losing my maternal granddad, cousin and then a bad break-up all in a year. And then losing my paternal grandmother not even a year after. My heart continued to shatter into smaller pieces. I was once again lost and broken. This was the second time, the first time was terrible. But it made me stronger although I retreated deeper into myself.

A new friend introduced me to BTS, my mom encouraged me to go back to church and I did. The music of BTS and time spent praying gave me the strength to pick up the shattered pieces of myself. It made my stand-still world move once again. I began to spread my wings and today I find myself a better version of myself.

A better version of myself? Yes. Afraid? Definitely. To love again? I'm terrified. To open my heart, to expose myself to another after finding and losing a person who I thought was my other half. Should I let fear hold me back? The answer? No. I’ll take it one step at a time. In my pace and in his time.