~writer

hi y'all, this is my blog for my inspiration for my creative writing. I've had writer's block for the past few years but I'm trying to get back in to it 💞

[minamotwilight]

Our stories are important

Because we believe in each other's stories

And as we write them down we realize

We are all writers

[minamotwilight]

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is

Fuck you

You mirror in the straight hall...rigid and suffocating

I look at MY mirror that I keep stowed away in my heart

But that's not the point is it?

The point is that a mirror is something is external from my heart

And it can't see my beauty

Mirror nothing

Mi or nothing

I choose

Me and love

[minamotwilight]

Him: I needed some time to know how I feel, and I want to be open and honest with you.

Me(in my head): 😔😔😔

Him: I really liked getting to know you and you are a very sweet guy. I don't think I'm feeling anything romantic, so I didn't want to lead you on.

Me(in my head): please don't be nice to me. Please just make me want to hate you. Why can't I hate you like all of the others and move on? If I don't resent you like the others how can I choose to

Him: Being friends is still possible, but I just wanted you to know how I feel.

Me(in my head): if we are friends will I notice the empty space that will no longer be occupied by our hands clasped togethor? Or by our interlocking gazes? What about when you give me that stoic look filled with emotion that makes my heart tremble with joy?

Me: Oh ok! That's fair. Thank you so much for telling me 😊 I really appreciate your thought and honesty 🙂

• • •

I need to catch myself. Why do I keep getting attached? Why do I break down my walls?

You were so nice to me and didn't want to hurt me, but sadly it was because you didn't want to hurt me that there is now a pain in me that I'm trying to fight off.

This deep connection that my heart made...what will become of it?

[dangerouslysqeamish]

me

Can i not just be

me

Can i not be happy with

me

Can i no longer grow numb

Every time i wake its just

me and myself

Trying to live

Trying to be

Trying to feel my heart

Are you there?

Can you help me?

I’m trying to find my self

The fog is thick and suffocating

I don’t see a way out

My…

[minamotwilight]

Chantal Akerman "NOW"

At Museum of Contemporary Art

This is the exhibit that that really moved me the most out of all the installations I viewed. Not only did it move me, but it left a lasting impression in my memory.

My first impression of the front of the eoom wass really that of complete audible and visual chaos. I first did not know where to start to process the sensory information. As I went through the room however, and came upon the different layers of sound, I in turn began to understand more of the situation.

I'm not sure if this was intentional on the artist's part, but it seems to create this metaphor for the way we consume media and how our perceptions of happenings sort of miss so many other "layers" of the story we miss. From the front of the room the viewer is literally faced with multiple screens and so are unable to make out the different visual layers. We're also exposed to all the sounds at once and so unable to make out the auditory layers. But once we get behind that initial "surface" perception, we start to uncover the hidden images. The sounds are more discernible and we know that this initial thing we conceptualized as chaos now is being unraveled into it's individual components, including the human component.

I think it raises some provocative questions about how we understand the world. In a lot of ways we are just understanding much of the world through device screens, but more broadly are there things that we sometimes draw conclusions about what something (or someone) is on without seeing the different layers that make up that thing? (Or person)?

[minamotwilight]

Crying

Lately ive been thinking to myself

I dont want to fade away

I dont want to leave myself

I dont want all my tears to be dried up

Society is stripping me from myself

Taking away my

/Thoughts/

/Feeling/

/Smiles/

/Tears/

But

i want to remain part of who i am and not become somebody else

these thoughts that freely flow through my mind like a pleasant stream, the feelings that bloom in me like a multitude of floral sensations

a garden can't survive without water

just as i need my tears to help my heart flourish

[zandraart]

forest of wires

[minamotwilight]

Xuomo. Straight Male. Non-Cybernetic

He couldn’t believe what kind of city he dreamt of that night. That city in which people were people. There were no ID cards. There were no crimes for having feelings. 

The next day he decided to go to the MetroLux mall to clear his head. Xuomo always had come here to imagine what would be. He knew it was against the law but after such a provocative dream, he couldn’t bear to not imagine what it might look for him to be truly comfortable with seeing himself in the mirror. Having other people see him and the image he wanted to portray to them. Female? Maybe some days but maybe some days he would want to be -

What am I talking about now? Do I even know what I’m talking about? Going against my identification?

He decided to stop thinking about it too much. Walking up to a transport pod, he tapped his ID card on sensor glowing neon blue and typed in “MetroLux Mall” onto the holographic keypad that was projected and pressed the enter key. Immediately another holograph lit up above the keypad. 

Would you like to be transported to Women’s/girl’s or men’s/boy’s?

His heart immediately skipped a beat, as if he had been punched so hard and lost his breath for a few seconds. this was it. How could he bring himself to go to the women’s section? Would he get caught by the authorities? Did he really want this? Would he survive? 

“Excuse me, can you make your selection for transport? Some of us have places to be” 

Xuomo jumped at the abrupt comment from the person behind him. “U-m y-es...sorry about that” he replied, too nervous to even look behind him to acknowledge the individual. The question he saw on the display...he felt to be intrusive. Panicking even more now, he chose to randomly select an option and see where he would end up.

Transported. He now was in the women’s section. so many emotions became swelling up in his chest and throat. Excitement. Fear. Longing. 

He felt at peace but also extremely judged. This was his chance to be in his own image; to reclaim himself. So many articles of clothing with floral etchings and images of flowers. He loved flowers. Especially blossoms. Cherry and plum blossoms. He loved the beautiful aura they excluded and how much the bright colour popped. Sometimes on his VR phone app, which was of course pirated to avoid being caught by the authorities, he would imagine himself in a land filled with just plum and cherry blossom trees. He would sport an outfit of the same mesmerizing pink colour of the blossoms, and wearing an even deeper pink colour of lip gloss and eyeshadow. Maybe for just one moment, he could feel that same bliss if he were to just-

“Excuse me sir, are you lost?” Xuomo turned to see a cyborg store attendant staring at him.  

Shit “Oh no no, not at all...I’m just-” 

“leaving” replied the cyborg bluntly. “this store is not for your identification. I have scanned your ID card and based on my analysis of your heart beat and respiratory response to my presence, you don’t belong here. Please exit immediately or I will have to report you to the Sekura drones stationed in the mall.

Accepting the outcome, he slowly walked towards the transport pod to exit the store, wondering when he would be able to feel the bliss of his own image.

That night, he dreamt more about the city where people could be people. He felt the bliss of being himself. 

[minamotwilight]

Spaces

So many

Spaces

I keep travelling back a forth between home and home

Why do they feel like

Spaces

An d no t places?

This bus I live on takes me back and forth

As I

Watch the world go

By e very fast-paced

Vehicle. Person. Tree. Bird. Lake. Light. Star.

And here I am

In a space

Sleeping

[minamotwilight]

My(self)

Something I've felt recently is that I'm incapable of saying my(self) the way it's supposed to be said. The "self" is being blocked by the world. My otherself is heckling me

You will never suceed. You will forever be lonely. You will never be able to achieve your purpose. You will always be met with despair. You will

Stop

You don't own me

I am ME

I will follow ME

You don't scare me

I am free

So to everyone who can't say myself,

Reclaim yourself.

Find yourself buried under your otherself.

And take back

who you are.

[minamotwilight]

Weakness

Why do you think I'm weak?

Because I have no body fat? Because I don't have the hardened face of a man?

They used to call me weak

But they were

The ones who attacked me in groups

They used to strike me down

But I was

The one who was

Strong

Weakness is not femininity nor empathy

In fact, the weakness of the world is that

The men who run this world

Have neither

[minamotwilight]

Clothing. Thing.

I had always believed that my identity of self had to be an extension of those around me. I had to have a tag with a label that told everyone who interacted with me what exactly I was, as if I was an article of clothing

Clothing. Thing.

1. I once bought a bomber jacket with my two friends. We would talk about how we would create an inseparable bond if were to all buy the same jacket. It gleamed a bright pink sheen and embroidered with flowers. As I stared entranced at the flowers

I saw myself.

All the clothing that tagged me all my life did not have this luster. Could it free me? Would I find my...

You look like an old lady

My mom rolled her eyes and went on her way.

The thing was beautiful.

But the only thing I didn't have was a tag that read

"MEN's"

A thing. That thing transposed on the clothing of my body. The label sliced through me.

All for nothing

[deviantart]

“Female Lancer” by aditya777: http://bit.ly/2wguvJc   

The fiery background of the painting mirrors the intensity and fighting spirit of this warrior.  

[fantasyartfinds]

Art by sketchboook

[fantasyartfinds]

Art by zhong wenhao

[artmagine]

By su jian

[tincek-marincek]

I guess I need to post something so that you won’t think that I’m dead lol. I’m just super busy X’D Since I keep posting flower-themed arts lately here you have two of my works which I did last year… they are actually designs done for stickers… and of course, featuring my Ash and Leia. I draw her so rarely, but I just had to draw her so that she’d go along with Ash’s piece. I just wish that I didn’t have to rush these so much ha ha ;__; Enjoy.

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