A story about a girl who likes movies more than she likes people, a boy who holds the world in the palm of his hands, three cities that hold a piece of them captive in the cracks of the pavement, and fourteen years of always being just close enough, but never nearly there.
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YOU GOT, YOU GOTâŚâŚâŚI BRING THE POPâŚ..YOU POPâŚâŚ.YOU GOT, YOU GOTâŚâŚâŚI BRING THE POPâŚâŚâŚ..YOU GOT, YOU GOT THE CINEMAâŚâŚâŚI BRING THE POP TO THE CINEMA, YOU POPâŚâŚ..YOU GOT, YOU GOT THE CINEMA YOU GOT, YOU GOT THE CINEMA I BRING THE POP TO THE CINEMA YOU POP WHEN WE GET INTIMATE
When your little sister convinced you to chaperone her class field trip to the zoo, you hesitated, but finally gave in knowing a day outside in the fresh air wouldnât be such a bad idea. And when you rolled up to see every chaperone appearing to be over the age of 55 except one, you couldnât help but look.
He was standing off to the side, shoulders slouched and hip popped, sipping from the small paper cup of coffee in his hand. If the endearing clip in his hair didnât intrigue you, the tiny tattoos on his tanned knees and the red hearts painted on his nails piqued your curiosity instantly. You were unsure if you should voluntarily walk over and say hello, but realizing you were both in the most awkward social setting on the planet, you went with it. Burying the fluttering feeling in your belly, you planted your feet on the same square of concrete as him and stretched out your hand. With a warm, dimpled smile and the faintest scent of coffee on his breath, he shook your hand and introduced himself as âJimmyâs older brotherâ.
Once inside the zoo, you joined groups because why not? You found yourself constantly walking in step next to each other, easily maneuvering your way around like an all star team. He was a gentleman for sure, always letting you walk through entryways before him, yet also making sure you were never too far behind in the group. He enthusiastically pointed out every animal to you, mumbling some bizarre fact about it with a sheepish grin. And when your hands brushed the moment you were forced to walk through a narrow walkway, you kept your head down to hide the expression on your face due to the warmth swiftly rising to your cheeks. However all efforts were squelched when you took a glance his way to see his lips lifted in a blushing grin. Noticing you had spent most of the day squinting from the sun, he offered you his sunglasses. When you responded with a âoh no I couldnâtâ, he insisted, pulling them down the bridge of his nose to reveal the most stunning shade of green you had ever seen. And instead of handing them to you, he lifted the black sunnies to your face and slid them over your eyes, lingering a moment to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.
After that, you spent the rest of the morning convincing yourself you were reading too much into the chemistry you felt and instead focused on just being grateful for his company. But when it was time to say your farewells, you were undeniably bummed. And after a casual goodbye wave, you parted ways, trying not to pitifully drag your feet as you walked back to your car. To your surprise, it only took a few seconds before hearing your name shouted from behind, turning to see Jimmyâs older brother jogging in your footsteps with a coy smirk and a bold request for your number on his lips.
"I miss all my friends, all the time, constantly" Last Part.
Fredrik Backman, Us Against You // Ross Gay, âCatalog of Unabashed Gratitudeâ // @werenotreallystrangers // Karen Finley, "Black Sheep" // Eileen Myles, "Bone" // Chelsea Fagan, How We Let People Go // @adampvrrish // Michael Dumontier and Neil Farber, Stamp Collection // The National - "Perfect Song" // unknown source
you donât have to go home - a fade in, fade out drabble
Hi all! Itâs truly been some time since Iâve last posted, but inspiration strikes in mysterious ways! Iâm happy to announce that Iâve been chipping away at the long-awaited Fade finale, but in the meantime, I decided to write a little drabble about our main man Harry. This takes place after the last part of Fade, and exists just before the beginning of the final chapter. I hope you enjoy! x
1,700 words
fade masterlist // my works // read below:
***
December 2019
Sometimes Harry felt sadness so deep he wondered if it was inherited.
It makes him chuckle now, flicking through the years of his privileged life and realizing that while he had everything he could have possibly ever wanted at an armâs length away, he still felt a soul-shuddering emptiness from deep within.
He wonders why it took him nearly thirty years to realize this. Wonders why he let life pass him by in a state of self-imposed misery. Wonders why the only things that really make him feel alive are paperback books filled with words written from people he can only aspire to be, with the spine bent out of shape and the papers browning from sitting in the sun too long; are long sips of room temperature whiskey after a long day, or refreshing gulps of Greco di Tufo after its been sitting on ice and heâs been working tirelessly under the Tuscan sun.
Or his most favorite thing in the world that Harry wishes he could somehow store permanently underneath his eyelids, so that every time he took reprieve from the world around him, he could escape into one of his ownâeyes so blue that they were nearly grey, hidden underneath thick, tangled lashes. Eyes that felt like mirrors most of the time, that never allowed for true emotions to stay concealed. Eyes that always searched for him, wondering if he had changed, wondering why he never told the truth, wondering when heâll finally be the person he should have been all along.
Harryâs not an artist by any means, but he swears that he could paint Nora Priestleyâs eyes by memory alone.
Story Masterlist // Story Authorâs Note // Words: 6k
â˘â˘â˘
September 2021
âHarry?âÂ
He was fairly certain he imagined the whisper, the faint noise surely a figment of his imagination. He was in a world of his own - a deep daydream - with a melody running through his head and his eyes fixed in front of him, watching his pointer finger chip away at the yellow polish on his thumbnail.Â
If I was a bluebird⌠I would flyâŚ
The words had been taunting him for days. But when nothing else came, he sang them to the same melody over and over again. The lyric felt light⌠hopeful⌠but it was almost as if he was stuck, like gravity was holding him back from adding anything else. And somehow the weight that constantly pressed down on his shoulders got heavier.
âHarry?âÂ
The whisper came again, this time tickling his ear as he felt a literal weight against his forearm.Â
Brown eyes whipped him back into the present - the white walled room of a hotelâs ninth floor executive lounge with his managers, Jeffrey and Tommy, sat beside him. It took Harry a beat to remember what city he was in before noticing âNashvilleâ engraved into the fancy pen resting on top of the table.
âYou good?â Jeffrey asked quietly, obvious concern painted in the creases between his brows as he moved his hand away from his tattooed arm.
Harryâs cheeks heated with embarrassment, realizing he had tuned out everything around him, including the large screen on the wall displaying every member of his management and public relations team on Zoom. Thankfully everyone was engaged in conversation and seemingly hadnât noticed his mental absence.
Clearing his throat quietly, Harry subtly waved his hand, brushing off Jeffreyâs worry as well as the lyrics running through his head.Â
âMâfine, sorry,â he mumbled, shifting his weight, feeling the numbness that had set into his bum from sitting for what had to have been hours.Â
âAlright, so onto US tour talkâŚâ Greg, Harryâs faithful London based public relations manager pulled in everyoneâs attention before taking a sip from what was his morning coffee and continuing. âJefe, give us a rundown on how things are going so far?â
Letting out a weighted exhale, Jeffrey sat forward and dragged a hand over his face, debating where to start. And when he picked Vegas, tour stop number one, Harry leaned backwards, slouching deeper into his seat.
He sighed in his head, taking note of the late hour - the empty plastic cups from multiple refills of cold brew and a demolished charcuterie board scattered across the table serving as proof.
Harryâs private plane from Chicago had only been touched down on the Nashville tarmac just long enough for him to sift through the mixture of clean and dirty clothes in his suitcase and change before dragging his feet to his reserved floorâs executive lounge. Despite the rush, he knew the meeting was important, having been delayed for weeks due to the busyness of tour prep. And now that everyone was in the swing of things, miraculously pulling off the first twelve shows of his long awaited US leg of Love on Tour, Harry accepted his fate.Â
Because the truth was⌠after an entire eighteen months of one pandemic-influenced postponement to the next, Harry was certain heâd never turn down an opportunity to pursue work again.Â
Between rescheduled tours, his rapidly growing acting career, a cosmetic company launch, his third album, coordinating schedules and appearances and so on and so forth, he embraced the chaos. Even with the anxiety of it all lingering in his belly, he ignored it - wanting to be able to do anything other than sitting around and waiting for his world to return back to normal.
On his left, Jeffrey continued his debrief - from Philly to DC to Detroit, he humbly flexed about the 100% negative covid tests and zero emergencies thus far. Meanwhile, the relentless lyrics floated back into Harryâs mind.
I would flyâŚ
His glazed over gaze shifted to the pink tinge that was swallowing up the blue sky as the sun set outside the floor to ceiling windows.Â
Unsure what else was left on the agenda, Harry hoped the meeting was close to wrapping up. He was eager to get back to his room and send a voice note with the relentless lyric to his longtime producer and friend TylerâŚ
FuckâŚÂ
The expletive quietly slipped from his lips with a short breath as his eyes darted to the clock on the wall.Â
8:14 pm.
It was the week prior when Tyler texted Harry inviting him to a lowkey show at a local Nashville bar. â9pm at the Listen Room - reserved the balcony with a private entrance for you and your crew!â  And even though Covid protocols were supposed to be locked tight on the tour, Tyler assured Harry that this was the only venue in town that required proof of vax and masks. Running it by Jeffrey first, Harry was thrilled to be in Nashville to see his friend play⌠the tiniest resemblance of an old life where going to a small gig wasnât faux-pas. In fact it would be his first show (that wasnât his own) since lockdown.
âNow, Harryââ The deep voice snapped him out of his thoughts in time to catch Greg lean in closer to his laptop camera as he read from whatever was in front of him. âMy Policeman has you scheduled to film reshoots immediately after tour. And then Marvel needs you all the way up to the week of Christmas.â
Harry blinked down to the melting pieces of ice at the bottom of his plastic cup and numbly nodded while Greg continued without a second of hesitation.Â
He needed to get out of there or heâd be late to the show.
But something inside nagged at him to stay put because, well, his team was also eager to be working again. With the shackles of quarantine slightly loosened, Harry realized they were all antsy to get going and he would never want to stand in the way of that. It had been a tough year for everyone.
The sky turned from pink to a light grey and at some point after bullet point âMarvelâ and before bullet point âPleasingâ, Harry casually leaned back in a stretch to look at the clock on the wall again.Â
And as talk of nail polish names began, Harry decided it was finally time to sneak out, trusting that Molly, his Creative Director who was tuned in from Los Angeles with a sleeping newborn in her arms, was more than capable of covering the topic of their cosmetic line.Â
Raising from his seat slowly, his lanky body unfolding as he stood to his full height, he cleared his throat and shot his managers that look. They knew that look well, both immediately offering a subtle eye roll in return as he moved toward the door. Harry did his best to hide the coy smirk on his face, the one revealing that he owed them big time, by quickly situating a black KN95 mask over his ears and across his face. He mumbled his apologies and gratitude and something about a stomach ache to everyone on Zoom while simultaneously backing out of the room.Â
His smirk grew into a pleased smile as a sense of relief washed over his body the moment he stepped into the hallway. With the stiff tension already lifting from his shoulders, he jetted directly to the elevator with a skip in his step. He slid his phone from his hoodie pocket and pressed it to his ear, making a quick call to his driver to meet him in the hotelâs parking garage. After using his elbow to poke the elevator button that would take him to the basement level, he shot off a quick text to Tyler, letting him know he was slowly but surely on his way.Â
And after nearly twenty minutes of weaving through the city streets, Harry stepped out from the blacked-out SUVâs backseat and found himself standing in an empty alley behind The Listening Room Cafe - a Nashville hot spot for singer-songwriters to showcase their music.Â
The evening air was crisp in comparison to the dayâs warmth, a stark contrast that Nashvillians waited for all summer long. Pulling the hood of his pink sweatshirt up over his blue hat, Harry revelled in the cool temperature for a minute while glancing at his phone to see a text from Tyler on his lock screen.Â
Tyler Johnson: Get over here when you can! Canât wait to see you!
Taking note of the time (miraculously only a few minutes late), his gaze followed the muffled noise spilling out from the barâs back entrance - the one with a neon sign hung over the door and a very tall, very broad security guard allowing people inside. Pushing his shoulders back and taking a step up onto the curb, Harry felt his phone buzz. With a quick flip in his hand, his eyes refocused from the bright lights onto the screen.Â
Zoe Montgomery: Babe! Need you to like my most recent post please! See you on Friday. Kisses.
Letting out a weighted sigh, Harry zeroed in on the text, rereading it again while blindly taking a step in the direction of the doorway. He attempted to maneuver from his lock screen to instagram, but his mask made it nearly impossible to easily unlock his phone. His shoulders slumped forward as he moved, continuing his pursuit inside before someone could spot him.
But he was so intensely zeroed in on his phone, retapping his passcode over and over, that the moment he finally entered the correct four numbers, he took another blind step only to slam directly into another body. With a huff from the impact, his head snapped up to see the victim of his distracted collision⌠a young woman stumbling to find her balance.
âOh my godâ Iâm so sorry!â She exhaled her apology underneath her black and white striped cloth mask. Her attention stayed fixed on making sure her two feet were steady underneath her, while her hands lifted on either side to help her balance - one of them empty and the other with a vice grip on her own cell phone.
Completely caught off guard, Harryâs voice hitched in his throat, finding himself somewhat thankful when she continued her flustered explanation.
âI really shouldnât be scrolling and walking,â she confessed with a breathy laugh as her gaze rose from the ground to meet Harry's stare. He noticed the way her eyes widened the slightest amount when they met his - something he was used to whenever a stranger realized who he was. But the color, hazel with gold flecks illuminated by the neon light, captured him. They were soft and sincere, yet mysterious in a way he didnât know how to explain.Â
âSânot a problem,â he mumbled awkwardly, keeping his voice low while adjusting his mask higher on the bridge of his nose. With a quick clearing of his throat, he parted his lips to offer his own apologies when she took a step backwards and stole his moment.
âUhââ âŚtwo steps further away... âEnjoy the show!âÂ
He watched crinkles gather around her eyes right before she raised her hand in a wave and turned to walk away - the sway of her long wavy hair brushing across the back of her jacket and the click of her boots on the pavement leaving him swallowing his words.Â
âSure nice out tonight, Rog,â Harry heard her exclaim while gently patting the shoulder of the security guard standing at the barâs back door and then disappearing inside without a second glance his way.
Harry was flabbergasted, completely taken back by the womanâs quick departure. Normally he would have an ample amount of time to assess the situation - were they a fan? Would they want a photo? Would he have to ask them to keep the appropriate distance? Was he foolish not to bring security with him? Would he hold up a peace sign or a thumbs up for the photo heâd eventually give into taking?
But the mystery woman didnât allow any time for him to run through those questions before she was gone.Â
The sounds of people approaching from behind had Harry pulling on the brim of his hat, lowering it for anonymityâs sake⌠like that ever helped. Moving forward, he did his best to brush off the strange interaction, but couldnât help wondering if theyâd cross paths again inside.
âProof of vaxx?â
The authoritative tone of the security guard took him by surprise, yanking him out of his thoughts and causing him to abruptly stop in his tracks.
âOhâ uh,â Harry stuttered, patting the pockets of his jeans even though he knew exactly where his vaccination card was - on top of the bedside dresser in his hotel room, right next to the negative covid test he had taken earlier that day.
âYou canât enter the bar without proof of vaccination, sir.â
Feeling heat rise up the back of his neck, Harry struggled to find an appropriate response.Â
âUm. But Iâmââ
âDonât give a fuck who you are, sir,â the security guard deadpanned, folding his arms across his chest and shifting his gaze over the top of Harryâs head.
âGive him a break, Rog.â
The familiar voice filtering into the tense air felt like a weight lifted off Harryâs shoulders. And when Tyler stepped outside, a smile grew wide under his mask.
 âOur pretty boy here is headlining Bridgestone tomorrow,â Tyler teased, making his way around the security guard and firmly placing his hand on Harryâs shoulder.
âYouâre really gonna vouch for him, boss?â A skeptical Rog questioned Tyler with a much softer tone.
âYeah,â Tylerâs face lifted, his light colored mask slipping under his nose as he smiled. âHeâs one of my best mates.â
With a relieved, breathy laugh, Harry let Tyler pull him into a massive bear hug. They hummed their elated hellos into each otherâs shoulders, both men giving multiple pats on the back before even thinking about letting go. It had been well over a year since theyâd seen each other, back when the world wasnât a complete mess and they were celebrating the release of Harryâs sophomore album.Â
âCarry your vaxx card next time,â Rog issued Harry a valid warning when he leaned away from Tyler. âWeâre all trying to get the fuck out of this pandemic.â
Walking by Rog with his arm still around Tylerâs shoulder, Harry held his free hand out to accentuate his apology.Â
âAbsolutely, will do. Sorry, sir.â
Continuing inside and down a narrow hallway, Tyler whacked his hand against Harryâs middle, forcing a puff of air from his chest.
âWere you trying to stay under the radar?â Tyler teased. âCause youâre picking fights with bouncers whilst wearing a highlighter pink hoodie.â
Harry couldnât help but laugh, adjusting his shoulders and nudging the hood off the top of his head. âFuck offââ he bantered back, certain a blush as pink as his hoodie was poking out from the sides of his mask.
âItâs so good to see you,â Tyler reciprocated his laugh as they slowed, stopping at the end of the hallway, giving Harry a glimpse of the main area of the bar. Two of the roomâs walls were glass garage doors, opened wide, letting the nightâs fresh air inside while people were gathered in every nook and cranny.Â
Harry subconsciously let out a slow stream of air, feeling a heavy pit settle in his stomach - a stark contrast from the light breeze brushing across his skin. Regardless of the twelve shows he had played in full arenas over the past month, there was something about crowded rooms that still made him anxious.
âUm, yeah,â he stuttered, blinking away the nerves stirring inside and refocusing on Tylerâs bright, comforting eyes. âMissed you, man. Is Abby here?â
âNah,â Tyler lifted his hand and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. âSheâs at home with the baby⌠havenât ventured out with her much, you know⌠germs and all that.â
Harry nodded with understanding, a smile stretching across his face at the thought of his friend being a brand new dad to a three month old baby girl.
âWeâd love for you to meet her! Iâ uhâŚâ Tyler paused reluctantly, ââŚI just donât know what all you can do with the tour protocol and allâŚâ
âOhâ yeah, I donât know, we could see, maybeâŚâ Harry hesitantly babbled, unsure himself if heâd be able to sneak away again with how tight of a ship Jeffrey was trying to portray.
Tyler caught the obvious uneasiness in his answer and moved on.
âIs Zoe here?â His eyebrows lifted with his question.
Harry felt his stomach flip. He had never told his friend about the girl heâd been spending time with for the last year. The one who became his girlfriend in the public eye before it ever crossed his mind to make things official. But he supposed that didnât matter when photos of them were always in the tabloids. And who was he to argue when, for all intents and purposes, she was the one who kept his bed warm through the pandemic.
âUh, she flies in on Friday, I guess,â he awkwardly answered.
Tyler huffed a laugh. âYou guess? Trouble in paradise?â
Harry glanced over at the main room as heat continued to swallow him whole.Â
âNoâŚâ he laughed quietly and smiled, even though the sentiment was hidden under his mask, âweâre good...âÂ
Just then the static of mic feedback and the buzz of a guitar being plugged into an amp came from the small stage against the back wall - a welcomed interruption.
âAlright, Iâve gotta get up there!â Tyler clapped his hand on Harryâs shoulder. âYour crew is upstairs on the balcony!â He pointed to a roped off spiral staircase that led to a small platform overlooking the room.Â
Harry sent him off with a fist bump and a cheeky pat to his ass. And while the crowdâs attention was fixed on the now bustling stage, Harry paused a second to curb his anxiety by taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. But when it didnât help in the slightest, he attempted to make himself look small, pulling his hood up over his hat and ducking out of the narrow hallway to gingerly tiptoe up the spiral steps.
And in the same moment he took his final two steps to the top, his feet fell in time to the womp of a funky bass riff. The beat that shook the room flooded his senses, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
That feeling⌠that sensation⌠felt like fireworks every single time.
Harry was instantly grinning, pausing on the top step to savor the twang of the live instruments. As the momentum of the song built, he easily recognized the tune of Rufusâ âTell Me Something Goodâ - a song he knew was one of Tylerâs all time favorites.
Bobbing his head to the beat, Harry peered across the balcony. He spotted the familiar faces of his band - Pauli, Niji, Elin, Ny and Sarah (sans Mitch who likely stayed back at the hotel with their baby), along with a small handful of his crew. Everyoneâs gazes were focused on the stage, happily dancing and vibing - a sight for sore eyes. In a normal world, he wouldâve joined them straight away, squeezing in to enjoy the show together. But in a Covid world, he hesitated, staying toward the back and out of sight to simply take in the moment.
And he relished in it⌠the energy bouncing between the walls of the room was addictive. A pure high. That sweet shot of serotonin now pulsing through his veins lifted his spirits without even trying. And just like that his anxiety seeped into the cracks of his subconscious and all he could feel was joy.Â
You ainât got no kind of feeling insideâŚ
Harryâs goosebumps multiplied. That voice⌠an unknown voice that was as smooth as silk in its lower register⌠sent chills down his spine. Curiosity had him straightening his posture to get a better look.Â
I got something that'll sho' 'nuff set your stuff on fireâŚ
Realizing it wasnât Tyler singing had him two steps off the back wall.
You refuse to put anything before your prideâŚ
A few more steps and he was on his tiptoes, peeking over the shoulder of his tallest band member, Niji.
What I got will knock all your pride asideâŚ
On the stage below, Tyler sat towards the left with his faithful Gibson in hand. Behind him was a younger guy playing a turquoise colored bass, then a woman with rose gold hair sat behind a keyboard, and in the very center of them all wasâŚ
Her.
The mysterious girl from the alleyway was comfortably perched on top of a tall stool. She had swept her long brown locks back into a braid and exchanged her jacket for a jet black vintage acoustic Martin - the dark wooden color complimenting the intricate floral tattoos etched into her upper arm. And with her mask gone, her smile practically lit up the entire room as she sang - eyes closed, completely devoured by the moment.
Tell me something good! Tell me that you love meâŚ
The crowd enthusiastically belted the chorus along with her, including his bandmates and friends. And it was Pauli, leaning back with the beat, who finally noticed the pink hoodie lurking behind them. Still dancing along to the song, they shouted out an enthusiastic âaye!â and greeted Harry, drawing everyone elseâs attention away from the stage. More welcoming hoots and hollers came next with fist bumps and high fives.
Forfeiting his pandemic induced worry, Harry joined them, settling between Elin and Niji with a perfect birds-eye view of the stage.
âSheâs brilliant, eh?â Niji shouted behind his mask while effortlessly rocking his shoulders to the song.
Harry nodded and gave him a thumbs up, his eyes then darting back to the stage. Like a moth to a flame, he was entranced, studying the way his best mate and the mystery girl complimented each other as they played. With smiles stretched wide, it was obvious that they werenât necessarily performing, but just enjoying themselves - completely unbothered by anything except the feeling of their instruments under their fingertips.
All too soon, cheers and applause filled the room when the song came to an end. Without thinking, Harry tugged his mask under his chin and brought his fingers to his mouth - a loud whistle piercing from where he stood, bringing a few eyes to the balcony. Harry dropped his head with a laugh and quickly pulled up his mask. And when he glanced up again, with cheeks warm to the touch, he caught Tyler and the girl subtly grinning in his direction.
An amused Tyler tucked his hair behind his ears before leaning into the microphone.Â
âWow. Thank yâall so much for coming out. Itâs incredible to be here performing again. Itâs been a long fucking year.â
The crowd agreed with muffled hums of agreement.
âUm, Iâd like to introduce you to the star of tonightâs showâŚâ
Tyler tilted his upper body toward the center of the stage as he spoke. Harry could instantly tell he was playfully teasing the girl behind the Martin with the way he was giving her his signature smirk. And even though the lights shining down on the stage were bright, he swore he see warmth radiating from her cheeks.Â
âThis is Nashville's newest resident, and my cousin, Cleo Beck. Please give her a warm welcome.â
The room happily applauded again, and after a stunned beat, Harry joined them. He had no idea Tyler had a cousin living in Nashville. But with a squint, he supposed he could see the slight resemblance as she leaned forward with a laugh and a smile and spoke into the mic.Â
âThank you, thanks.â
Tyler coughed a laugh into his hand as she dropped her chin and shook her head.
âCleo moved here from Seattle back toward the beginning of the pandemic,â Tyler continued. âItâs a bit different over here, eh?â
She lifted her head and agreed with a nod. âIt is! I love it.â
âSo, we stole her away from the west coast to come live with us during lockdown. Weâre very lucky to have her. Sheâs an incredible songwriter, musician, and human⌠so please put your hands together so sheâll stay forever.â
And as the room cheered and Tyler went on to introduce the others on stage, Harry's lips intuitively lifted into a grin, warmed by the interaction between Tyler and Cleo. He was endeared by the way she had just owned the room with her talent, yet fell coy when Tyler zeroed in on her. It was so pure. Innocent. Something Harry didnât get the opportunity to see much in the industry anymore.
âAnyway, enough talking,â Tyler shifted his focus toward the crowd. âShould we play some more tunes?â
And without waiting another second, the keyboardist counted in the next song.
âGlad youâre here, Boss,â Ny reached over and nudged Harryâs forearm.
âYeah, itâs so fun to see you out!â Sarah chimed in. âMitch will be gutted knowing you were here and he wasnât.â
Harry let out a breathy laugh, unsure what to say. He wasnât ignorant to the fact that he had distanced himself from his band off stage - writing it off as âprotocolâ⌠an easy excuse to say the least.
âThe vibes are immaculate!â Pauli shouted, swaying along to the soulful beat, letting their hand land on Harryâs shoulder and swaying him along as well.
Grateful for the distraction, he fell in step with his percussionist and everyone happily turned their attention back to the stage.
From one song to the next, Harry let himself become completely consumed. Uptempo to mellow and back again - acoustic, ad libbed, acapella. A Joni Mitchell cover and an Anderson .Paak sample. Every beat, every note, every lyric filled him to the brim. It had been so long since heâd felt that magic - the simplicity of four people just⌠playing music.Â
Harry had been to hundreds of concerts in his twenty-seven years of life. Heâd seen the greats, performed alongside them even. Heâd experienced nearly every massive venue in the entire world. But where he was at that moment - whether the energy in that lowkey Nashville bar was attributed to the absence of live music in his life or if it was simply because they were that fucking good - that had him wasted on adrenaline alone.
And it was no secret to anyone that he adored Tylerâs talent⌠but it was Cleo that consistently held his focus. From the glimmer in her eye when she finished a heartfelt lyric to the way her smile stretched wide if she subtly fumbled a note. With every word that left her mouth, it was clear as day that the music put her heart on her sleeve. And Harry was mesmerized by the way she effortlessly shined under all the lights.
Unfortunately, in a matter of seconds, his moment of being lost in the music came to an abrupt end when the glare of a camera flash came from somewhere in the crowd.Â
All at once, he was yanked out of the moment.Â
The burdensome feeling of people watching him from below made him swallow hard, attempting to gulp down the mixture of frustration and annoyance brewing inside. And even though he could tell their set was coming to an end, Harry knew it was his time to go.
Without a word, he quietly backed away from his spot along the railing, staying focused on his two feet underneath him as he moved - blindly making his way down the spiral stairs and out the back door where his driver would be waiting. Just when the nightâs cool air filled his lungs, he heard footsteps trailing behind him and he absentmindedly picked up his pace.
âHarry!â
Instinctively letting out a sigh of relief, he whirled around, knowing it was Tyler calling after him. And thankfully it was - his friend jogging from the bar and into the alley, struggling to loop his mask over his ears.
Once Tyler was close enough, Harry clapped his hand to his and pulled him into a hug. âThat was⌠fuck, that was incredible man!â
Tyler thanked him with a wide smile before finally situating his mask where it needed to be and then glancing over his shoulder at Harryâs waiting car.
âYou have to jet?â
Harry ran his hand down the back of his neck. âYeahâŚthe crowd, uhââ he stuttered, hoping Tyler would catch his drift without him having to explain. âI just need to get back, you know how it goes.â
Tyler shook his head reassuringly and brushed off Harryâs uneasiness by changing the subject.Â
âYou still good if we come early tomorrow?âÂ
Harry paused, watching a couple walk through the back door of the bar⌠questioning whether or not they would be the type to put him in an awkward position. But the tension in his shoulders lessened when they turned and walked the opposite direction.
âUh,â Tyler continued when Harry didnât respond, âAbby isnât gonna make it, but do you mind if I bring Cleo? Sheâs never been to BridgestoneâŚâ
Hearing Cleoâs name, Harry froze. And suddenly he was anxious at the thought of the tables being turned and having Cleo, the musician he had been so mesmerized by, coming to his show to watch him perform. Would she feel the same way about his music that he felt about hers? Would she enjoy herself as much as Harry just had?Â
âWe, umââ Tyler interrupted his thoughts, âuh, we both had negative covid tests earlier this week, but we could test again if youââ
âNo, no!â Harry blurted, snapping out of his weird state. âOf course you can come. Tommy sent you passes, right?â
Tyler nodded while Harry laughed off his awkwardness and then took two steps backwards towards his car.
âHeyâŚâ Tyler spoke up, stopping Harry in his tracks. He paused for a beat and then lowered his voice. âYou good man?â
Harry knew from his friendâs tone that his question was meant to be deeper than just those two words. And he was well aware that he couldnât hide his anxiety away from the people who knew him the best. But when a crowd of people emerged from the back door of the bar and into the alley, Harry knew it wasnât the time or the place.
âYeah man,â he forced a wide smile under his mask, crinkles gathering around his eyes as he held his hand out for Tylerâs. âIâm fine. Tonight was a lot of fun.â
And with one last high five and a hug, they said goodbye.
â˘â˘â˘
Harry rested the rim of his paper cup of green tea to his bottom lip, blowing subtly every few seconds to make the steam waft up over the tip of his nose. He never drank it, but simply let the calming scent overtake his senses. And with his blue and white checkered vans propped up on the arena seat in front of him, he relaxed, sinking deeper into the navy plastic underneath him.
Bridgestone Arena felt massive from where he sat in row T at the very top of the 300 level. It was a pre-show habit of sorts, if Harry could swing it. After soundcheck he would disappear on his own down the venueâs back corridor and take the service elevator up to the top floor. It was always humbling, sitting in the farthest seat from the stage, knowing someone paid to be there, just to experience the show in any way they could.Â
Down on the floor below was his hard working crew, the ones who had waited so long to be back on the road. All of them had been going the extra mile with Covid precautions just so Harry could get up on stage and play his music. He could only hope they all knew how grateful he was for them.
âI seriously donât know how you still manage to sneak up here without being seen.âÂ
The familiar voice came from his left. Harry slowly blew at his tea again before turning to see Jeffrey maneuvering through the seats towards him. He didnât say anything else when he stopped in the same row, but instead mirrored Harryâs gaze and watched the work happening below.Â
After a few seconds, Harry realized Jeffrey was anxiously spinning his wedding ring with his thumb. Furrowing his brow, he huffed a laugh, causing steam to billow upward.
âAlright? Youâre all⌠fidgetyâŚâ
Jeffrey didnât respond, but instead kept his intense gaze locked on the floor. With piqued curiosity, Harry lowered his tea and sat forward.
âWhatâs up Jeffrey?â
His manager let out a heavy sigh before plopping down a few seats away.Â
âSo⌠slight change of plansâŚâ
Harry sensed his tone, the slightly panicked one his manager was doing his best to mask - he had heard it a million times before, and Harry deadpanned.
âOkayâŚâ Jeffrey rolled his eyes, giving up the stoic act, ââŚa massive change of plans. Something happened and Jennyâs sister is in the hospital back in Nevada.â
Harryâs eyes widened. âOh god, is she okay?â
Jeffrey quirked his lips to the side and pulled his black hat from his head. âI donât actually know,â he sighed. âBut Jenny caught the first flight out this morning.â
Harry blinked, doing his best to process everything as it sunk in. âOhâŚ. fuck,â he muttered under his breath. âI mean. Of course she had to go.â
Jeffrey nodded in agreement. âIâll make sure to get some flowers sent her way.â
And then it was quiet, only the distant sounds echoing through the arena from below. It took a long moment for either one of them to break the silence, but as panic started to set in, Harry cleared his throat.
âSo⌠what do we do?â
Jeffrey blew out a breath. âI mean, surely thereâs someone here in Nashville? Kacey?â
Harry shook his head. âSheâs in LA.â
Letting out another heavy sigh, Jeffrey sunk deeper into his seat. âOkay. Well, I worked up a list of last resorts on the way over.â
His manager continued rattling off his frenzied plan B for a new opener when Harry's attention drifted to excited yelps and hollers down near the stage. The familiar figures of his bandmates - Niji, Pauli, Elin and Ny - were easy to make out, and with a squint he saw that it was Tyler and Cleo they were giving high fives and hugs to. Harry watched from his aerial view, seeing the way his crew embraced the two and ushered them toward the center of the room.
âH? Did you catch any of that?â Jeffâs words were irritated as if he had already repeated himself.
Still distracted, Harry swallowed thickly. âYeah, sorry, umâŚâÂ
But his focus stayed on everyone walking up the steps and onto the stage. From so far away, he could see them all making their way around at the same time. But just like the night before, it was Cleo that his eyes were fixed on - her presence so alluring he could feel it drawing him in all the way from the nosebleeds. She walked across the stage with ease, finding herself stopping and planting her feet behind the microphone closest to the side of the arena where Harry was hiding. She ran her palm all the way down the metal stand while tilting her head upward toward the ceiling, as if she was taking in the energy of the venue. He didnât need to see her mask-covered mouth to know she was smiling from ear to ear, her elation beyond evident in the way she stood.Â
And thatâs when it clicked.
âHarry?â Jeffâs tone had become increasingly annoyed by his silence.Â
And with a lick of his lips and a shift of his weight in his seat, Harry finally responded.
âActually⌠I think I have an idea.â
â˘â˘â˘
A/N: Well here we go! Thank you so much for reading. Iâd love to hear what you thought so far. Are we feeling as anxious as Harry? Thank you to my girls @for-fucks-sake-h  and @andwhenshesays for always supporting me. And thanks to all of you for reading and sharing. Xx