teddy’s heart seized in his chest the moment minnie stepped around him to go back inside. was this her answer? silence? avoidance? teddy couldn’t exactly blame her, but it was a bitter pill to swallow. rejection was always hard to swallow for him. there wasn’t anything worse than not being wanted, and while that might not have been the case here ( because if anything, all of this was his fault ), teddy still couldn’t help the screaming in his brain that was telling him this was the case here. he waited outside in the cold with bated breath. teddy was sure he would have stood out here for hours waiting for her, rain or snow, if it meant that she would come with him.
he guessed someone out there answered his prayers, because he had never felt so relieved before–just seeing her walk back out the door with her purse in hand. it meant that teddy had a chance…a chance to at least explain. that’s all he wanted anyway. ( and if anything more came from that, then he’d consider himself a lucky arse ).
“thank you–” he breathed, unsure of what to do with himself, where to put his hands. if he was being honest, all teddy wanted to do was wrap minerva in his arms, bury his face in her hair and pretend like none of this ever happened. it was wishful thinking, of course, this couldn’t be solved with a hug–but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to touch her any less. cursing internally, teddy berated himself. it wasn’t like they were dating…were they? he would have liked them to, yes, but that didn’t mean they were. it wasn’t unusual for teddy to feel strongly. he always did, even as a child…but it was a little unusual for him to feel strongly about a woman he still didn’t know ( very much at least. what was her favorite color? her favorite song? what was her fucking middle name? ). he wanted to get to know her, though. teddy wanted that chance. he wanted to know everything about her. what made her tic, what made her happy. could he have been one of those things that did?
he was scared he’d never get the chance to know.
the silence between them was deafening. teddy hated silence–it was one of the reasons why he talked so much. silence meant being inside yourself, and that was a place teddy didn’t like to be very often. it was a mess in there, feelings he had yet to really dig into, even with his therapy appointments every week. it was a place he was scared of, not sure what kind of person he’d be once he did figure everything out. not sure of what kind of person he was. but he allowed himself to follow minnie to the tea kettle, careful not to crowd her space, but close enough for him to know that she was really there. she was there, in front of him, a sight he had missed the whole fucking time he was away. she was there in front of him and she was going to listen, a luxury teddy didn’t get very often. he closed his eyes tightly at her words, that deep rooted feeling of pain making it’s home in between his rib cage, vines curling around his heart. “me too, bird…me too.”
the warmth of the tea kettle was almost too warm when they finally made their way to the table, and teddy quickly rid himself of his jacket. he was already a shaky mess, but he didn’t want to become a sweaty one too. a deep breath left his chest as minnie finally broke the silence once more, teddy being too much of a coward to do it himself. he really didn’t want to get into this, the only people who knew were the sweet couple who took care of him after all that time in foster, but minnie deserved to know what happened…teddy wanted her to know. he swallowed thickly, hands curling into fists on the table in front of them in a small attempt to keep them from shaking. “when…when i was younger, i basically grew up in foster.” he snorted softly, though there was no humor in the tone. “uh, my mum gave me up when i was really young, that’s all i really knew. that’s all i was really told.” he paused, licking his lips, attempting to bring the words into his mouth. “so i did, you know, what a lot of us kids do in foster. i bounced around, a lot, almost graduated out until a nice older couple all but adopted me at sixteen.”
his eyebrows furrowed, and teddy had to drop his gaze from minnie’s face and onto the table before them. his eyes were burning, but the last thing he wanted to do was fucking cry in public. he wasn’t going to cry. god, he barely started. “i got a call, from my nan–the woman who took me in–, and she told me she had an idea of where my mother could be. it felt as though everything around me stopped. it was words i’ve wanted to hear for so fucking long, bird. so i dropped everything. i quit my job, got someone to watch my cat, and i left apple peak…i left you.” he swallowed once more, finally working up the courage to look her in the face once more. “it…didn’t end well, though. i suppose that’s karma, for being a total arsehole, i mean.”
--- as he began to speak, minnie’s ears perked up, her attention being grabbed almost immediately. her stomach was still a mess of twists and knots at even being near him. she was still worried it was a trick. perhaps it really was him but he was playing her ? wanting to make up a sad story to reel her back in and make her forgive him when really he had disappeared for no reason at all. she hated that it was what she assumed, but her past relationships (including this one) had made her wary. wary of the way people could make up perfect explanations for their mistakes that were almost too believable. wary of the way that a pair of bright blue eyes could pull you in like the ocean and then drown you moments later. she wanted to believe whatever was going to come out of his mouth, but felt as though that wouldn’t be the case.
--- the more he explained, though, the more she began to actually pay attention. the more she began to think it wasn’t a rouse at all and that maybe, just maybe, he was being honest. the way his voice shook --- threatening tears at any moment --- made her entire body feel like it was frozen, save for the obvious shaking of her hands and quiet but laboured breaths. her anger towards him that she had been harbouring for so long now began to melt like ice in spring. she began to melt. he sounded so sincere, so hurt, and it made her angry. angry at the woman who had cast him aside so easily, angry that despite his willingness to leave his entire life behind it just didn’t work out. she was no longer angry with him (if anything she wanted to leap over the table and hug him as tightly as she could, not caring who was watching) but angry with his situation, and with the fact that it had lead them to this. she didn’t want this. she wanted to be waking up to him and listening to him talk about his day while they laid together on the couch. she wanted to go grocery shopping with him. she wanted to kiss him on the cheek before he left for work. she wanted him, not this terror of a circumstance they were now caught in.
--- maybe there was still some chance. was it possible he still wanted her after the emotional roller coaster he had just been riding on ? she had no idea what that kind of pain could do to a person. and while it was a selfish thought, it was all she could think about as she stared at his eyes, now brimming with tears that she wanted to put an immediate end to, as she could feel them starting in her own eyes. this made her world feel like it was about to stop turning. it wasn’t nearly as severe a thing as his had been, but still. and when he said that this was all his fault she couldn’t help the slight opening of her mouth.
--- “ teddy, ” she said his name so softly it would have been a miracle if he had even heard it. she slowly slid her arm across the table, hand outstretched until it rested on his arm (a familiar electricity. the feeling that came along with being anywhere near him). she wanted to say something that would help make him hurt less. anything to stop the sadness she could tell he was feeling. the look on his face was making her ache throughout her entire being. “ dear ... that’s ridiculous. ”
--- wise words courtesy of minnie meeska. she wanted to punch herself. he made her a stuttering puddle enough as it was when their conversations weren’t this emotionally charged. “ if i had known that ... i-i could never, ever be upset with you for doing that. ” her hand was still shaking as her fingers gripped his arm, gentle but still firm enough that she hoped he could tell how serious she was. “ you deserved so much better ... ” he was too good for this. too good to be feeling how he was feeling. he deserved the world. she felt a tear she didn’t know was even forming trickle down her cheek and quickly wiped it away with her free hand. “ i’m so sorry, teddy. ”
