[weepyemperor]

Going no contact with yourself

[baddogmari]

when you feel like you’re starting to get better and suddenly the impending doom sets in again and you know the cycle is about to repeat

[rottingorchid]

why does it feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest

[maybeshehasbpd]

it gets worse before it gets way worse

[d-i-d]

sometimes suffering is just suffering it doesn’t make you stronger it just hurts

[mind-over-antimatter]

i am absolutely nothing

a void

a lack

a black hole that drains everything around me

i might appear to be something, sometimes

but i know it’s a mirage

just a vacant hope trying to materialize itself

i am nothing at all

[mind-over-antimatter]

everything is cold and made of metal

i breathe iron shavings and they stain my insides crimson

the ground beneath me is icy, steel, unyielding

everything’s frozen, yet nothing melts

everything i touch starts to rust

a frigid, metallic world where everything is real except for me

please let me out

please fucking let me out

[reinstarnation]

when when i hit my biweekly "oh shit I have never known who I am because I hardly experience myself" 30 minutes of absolute bewilderment

btw can anyone tell me anything about myself i genuinely have no idea what I'm like

[almach748-evil]

sitting in the nosebleed seats of my own life and booing raucously

[mind-over-antimatter]

sometimes it feels like i’m choking on blood

[mentallyillmiku]

me when my problem is small: oh this problem is small I don't need to get others for this!

me when my problem is big: oh this problem is too big for other people to handle with me, I shouldn't get others for this!

[mind-over-antimatter]

there’s a depth of pain and panic

that is difficult to convey to the outside observer

that comes from watching yourself slip

away from sanity and into hell

knowing that it’s getting worse

knowing that your mind is getting worse

knowing that it will hurt more and more

knowing that you’re going to keep slipping

but not knowing how bad it’ll get

not knowing the depths you’ll reach

not knowing what it will take from you

and worst of all,

not knowing how to make it stop

[mind-over-antimatter]

living shouldn’t hurt this much.

i can make it tolerable, sometimes.

for a while.

it usually takes something external.

a substance, a person, a challenge,

a focused pain, a forced numbness.

it helps if i drift away from it,

in any direction,

inwards, outwards, into another.

dissolving away from conscious thought

into something else, or someone else.

but sometimes i do wonder

if it’s a sign

that the raw unfiltered life i live

seems to be so unendurable.

it’s not inherent in the life itself.

i think that my life is fine.

it seems fine.

it’s something deeply rooted

within my brain, in my neural pathways.

it seems that i was corrupted

before i ever really truly began.

it’s hard to come to terms with

the reality of the problem

since the problem seems so separate

from my day to day life.

i live, i work, i love.

it doesn’t seem to matter in the end,

because a wicked, invisible magnetism

seems to drag me down regardless.

i don’t really believe in destiny

but i do recognize causality,

and it seems that my past

has preordained a future for me

that i can’t quite bear to imagine.

one that doesn’t hold much kindness

for me or for those i love.

it seems so final.

so settled.

is there anything i can truly do?

or is the cycle of cause and effect

the only real constant i can hope to find?

[lonelyisthesworld-deactivated20]

I feel like my own brain is eating me alive

[that-house]

Fuck yes i just responded like a normal human

[ojibwa]

[dumbandy]

i have this constant feeling of wanting to leave all the time, i don't know when, i don't know where, but i only know that i want to leave