Mind of a Natural Disaster @mindofanaturaldisaster - Tumblr Blog

Its evening and I’ve recollected stories stored in my head

Their dates originating from near a decade ago

I pull the vinyl memories from their sleeves

Gently ready them to be played

The memories dance

Each scene enhanced by the soundtrack from their time

An afternoon car ride with the speakers blaring A mobile performance wind bellows through the open windows the sun kissing our skin I glance your direction elated

I’ve never felt like the cool kid but I do in these moments I have the girl of my dreams pucked from the confines of fake scenarios I acted out with my bratz. A fully realized person not just with me but laughing with me singing with me occasionally rocking my car back and forth with the sheer force of dancing. Choosing to LiVE life with me

Our siren songs varied from jealousy in all its forms, a screech about a Saturday evening, and the death of a bachelor.

Are this addictions or something akin to a rare vintage

I am unsure but I make sure to care for each record periodically taking them out inspecting for warps and playability

I put a lot of care into my possessions like this collection

Timeless classics

~The Dirge of April~

The abyss calls me, whispering in the voice of a long-lost love. A sudden jolt then darkness. The waters close in, a suffocating embrace, pulling me into the depths. I see your eyes, hollow and distant, a mirage of warmth in this frozen tide. I reach, fingers grasping at the void, desperate do not let me drown.

A wound festers where my heart once beat, a cavity of sorrow devouring itself. I am riddled with chasms, gaping, endless like tombs where joy was once entombed. The world craves the gentle kiss of sunlight, the bloom of tender petals, yet I am but the storm, the shadow, the ceaseless weeping of the heavens.

But you… you danced in my tempest, found rhythm in the chaos of my thunder. You traced constellations in my clouds, and where others saw ruin, you called it art. I asked, Why do you linger where no warmth remains?

And with a voice softer than the breath of ghosts, you answered, Because even in ruin, your rain births the most brilliant rainbows.

Ours was a love carved into the bones of tragedy, a Roman valentine sealed in fate’s cruel ink. And still, in my wretched hope, I reached for you.

But your back was turned.

Please do not leave me!

Yet onward you walk, down a path lined with roses never meant for me. I am bound to this abyss. The earth cracks beneath me, the waters rise, and I do not resist. For what is left of me? Drowning in love undone, while you vanish into a future where I am but a shadow forgotten, nameless, swallowed by the tide of April.

~Melancholy in April~

A sudden jolt back, and now I am going under. Feeling the water rush past me, pulling me deeper. I see your eyes like a mirage so close yet untouchable. I reach for you. Please, don’t let me drown.

I walk around with gaping holes in my chest, a collection of the saddest moments caving inward my own personal sinkholes. People love sunshine and flowers. But me? I’m more like dark days and rain showers. Yet, you took naps in my shade and played in my puddles. You found music in my thunder and art in my clouds. It’s not like people to stay when there is no good weather to be found.

I once asked, Why do you like it here so much?

You smiled and said, Because you have the best rainbows around.

Ours was a Roman valentine. I knew this, but I was hopeless, and still, I begged please don’t let me drown. I reached for your hand, but you turned away.

Please don’t leave me!

I am wrapped in denial while you walk the other way down the aisle.

You broke my heart again.

~Stitched deep~

You take me with you everyone you go

But you don’t know it do you?

A piece of me stitched to your soul

You follow me and think I don’t know it

Pop up in my Pinterest

But outwardly you say “I’m not interested”

My darling girl you can’t help but breathe me

Even the day you wed you will keep me forever

With the date tied to me

I am happy me dear

Because I see through your illusion

I know dreams star me via brain intrusion

Dark babe it’s me you crave

So you’ve tried some copies

And the closes dupe is where you’ve stopped in

With the unity created in my font

The dark wedding I’ve bookmarked

Down to the engagement photos

Not to mention the ring

The mask is off

The picture is clear

You love me but I am no longer near

~Boulder~

You still live in my lungs.

I breathe you in like a ghost,

like winter air sharp enough to cut

I choke on the weight of it.

It’s been years,

but time don’t work like they said it would.

You are still pressed into my ribs,

still laced through my veins,

still the ache I wake up with.

I do not own you now,

not this version of you,

not the one who has learned to love someone else.

But tell me

where do I put all this love

that still belongs to you?

I’ve tried drowning it in distance,

tried burying it in new arms,

but it keeps finding air,

keeps clawing its way back to the surface.

Some loves don’t fade

they just settle in the bones,

heavy, quiet, aching.

I walk through the world with you still in my chest,

a weight that shifts but never lifts.

Some days, it’s a whisper,

a shadow of laughter slipping through the cracks.

Other days, it’s a landslide,

knocking the breath from my body,

pinning me beneath everything I thought I let go.

You are the weight I carry,

the stone I cannot shake,

the boulder pressed to my heart,

too big to hold,

too deep to leave behind.

And yet, I keep walking.

#my writing #mywords #poem #love

If you have to ask do you know me at all?

If you have to ask if I love you

I never stopped

My heart is a funny thing and from the moment I saw you big smile and big curls

My heart sang for you

And as never stopped

You don’t have to ask at all

It’s has and will be yours

Tucked away in a room with all our memories

Can you meet me where my trauma goes to hide

In the depth of whimsy and naivety

In a place where i lived be it brief

I try to go when I can

It’s getting harder

The days get me stuck like a mouse on a trap

Wasting away in the rat race of life

Meet me where we make forts out of blankets

And my crush on you feels like I swallowed a hot pepper

Mouth too hot to speak when I see you

Face so red I’d give bashful a run for the role

The days feel like the view of the road from inside a car

Fast moving but the same

With sprinkles of disasters that make my heart sink but the trip continues

I want to stop the ride but they say that means I’m not assimilating like I should

Which is why I value this place

It’s different or the same depending on who you ask

And some people never visit again

Meet me where our accents can be from where we want them to be govna

Meet me where laugher can come from whatever and we can be free to laugh ugly

I used to be so scared to go there I’d take an alternate route

It would take a little rolling me up or a cartoon under my tongue just to be there for a moment

When there was an easier way one I found when I stopped being scared

So can you come with me?

We can play house make mistakes & messes and make memories

Join me in the labyrinth between innocence & experience