WHAT DO YOU SAY TO TAKING CHANCES?

Although I know it is customary to share our respective 'glist' points on our personal blogs, I am currently boycotting this arcane and grossly misjudged system. Instead I will be operating under my own superior scoring system, in which I have a grand total of 97 Million star quality points; coincidentally the number of albums my idol, and the great, Barbra Streisand has sold. Welcome to the page of one Rachel Barbra Berry! The often imitated but irreplaceable future star of Broadway. I am sure many of you will pretend you stumbled upon this page accidentally but one does not simply stumble onto the page of such an up and coming starlet and therefore I encourage you to embrace the meticulously detailed and perfectly laid out blog before you. I have recently been informed that there are some poor and unfortunate souls who are unaware of my existence and so I have decided to illuminate you with a short, yet informative life history of one Rachel Barbra Berry. I was born on the 18th of December 1998 to two wonderful fathers, Leroy and Hiram Berry, who had made me out of pure love. To this day I do not know who my true biological father is as they had both of their sperm artificially inseminated into a surrogate, selected from a vast pool of women as she was deemed most compatible based on height and beauty to produce their future star. I do not at this time have any contact with my surrogate nor do I have any means of reaching her or knowing who she is. Questions regarding her will not be tolerated, unless, of course, you are Patti Lupone herself here to claim kinship with her beloved and long lost daughter. Growing up my fathers fostered in my a love of all things music related, with me winning my first dance competition at the tender age of only three months. My fathers have always provided the best of the best for me and therefore I grew up on singing, dancing and acting classes. My fathers particularly fostered a love of Barbra Streisand in me, clearly an idol of theirs considering my middle name, and I consider her to be a symbol of what I hope to achieve in my own life. Whenever I am down I find great comfort in singing something from her expansive collection of work and reminding myself that one day I will have her success. Following on from my detour to spread my love of one Barbra Streisand I grew up and reside in, Lima, Ohio. The home of many a Lima Loser and hell on earth for anyone who is as driven or as talented as me. I attend the infamous William McKinley High School, home to many of the Neanderthals and future Lima Losers of our town, and the basis of much of the bullying. As stated above, I am absolutely against basing worth on points, especially with such a base and demoralising system, and so I will not be indulging in any sort of Glist based discussion within my sacred description. This does not stop me, however, from engaging in a thriving school life. I am currently a member of 18 extracurricular clubs and societies as you can see from my many school yearbook photographs, and these include Kwanza club and Medieval Reenactment Society. I am wholly dedicated to my stardom, and I can only achieve such greatness through a diverse portfolio and as much red carpet practise as possible. My year book photos are glimpses into my future, and I personally believe all of my clubs are very lucky to have me! Having said that, mmy main extracurricular is Show Choir, namely the New Directions, for whom I am Captain, the female lead and generally their inspiration, leader and the most talented person in that room. For the first year of my school career this club was in shambles under the shocking favouritism of one ex-teacher at this school. Although I deny all accusations that I was the one to get Mr Ryerson fired, and I will sue for defamation if those rumours circulate again, I maintain that this school is far better place without him. Mr Schue, a more mature Justin Timberlake with the rather unfortunate habit of taking away solos that were rightfully mine and a bizarre love of 80s rock, has proved to be a more than capable leader to our small band of talent, when he uses my frequent guidance and advice. While I still have to work on the lacklustre dance moves, and pitchy vocals of my peers, I'm confident that with my immense talent, dedication and star quality, this will be the year that the McKinley High New Directions become National champions. That trophy is mine and I will let nothing stand in my way on the pursuit of the title, and what it represents; stardom. You must now know that I am destined for the bright lights of Broadway, where I will live out my days as a treasured, multiple Tony winner in beautiful Midtown New York. Playbill collecting and crafting could never be enough to occupy my immense creativity, after all. My dreams are big, and following my four years at the prestigious and highly exclusive NYADA, I will be spreading my wings and treading the boards of every theatre on the Great White Way. I intend to perform the role of three iconic musical heroines; Laurey from Oklahoma, the eponymous Evita, and Barbra's career making Fanny from Funny Girl. I just know that it is my destiny to bring the characters I connect so well with to life, as well as creating brand new characters for the stunning young ingenues after me to aspire to play. As a future EGOT winner, I can assure you that the star you see before you today is only a small portion of who I will one day be. On that note, don’t be alarmed if I start blogging as Barbra spontaneously, it is all part of my preparations to become a star and she more than helps me get into whatever role I shall be playing. WWBSD. It’s a way of life, dear fans, and one I truly do advocate. I know many of you will now be wondering about my love life, and where all the men are who want to ‘tap’ this. I am going to have to let you down, unfortunately, as I have wholly dedicated myself to my career and therefore simply have no time to keep a man emotionally and physically satisfied. I do hope none of my fans are too involved with my love life at the expense of valuing my talents and successes or you are going to spend more than a few years disappointed. Regardless, I bid you a final welcome to my blog and remind you, as always. fanmail is welcome at all times. Lots of love and stardust, Rachel Barbra Berry ★ var ref = (''+document.referrer+''); var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; document.write('