Trust
Trust is a slippery concept, and it's even more slippery when you've grown up around people that regularly hurt or betrayed you (sometimes out of true necessity; a toddler isn't going to feel non-betrayed when their parents poke them with needles regardless of whether they know that it's medically necessary). We didn't really understand how to trust people until very recently, and it's still an ongoing process for us to learn what trust means.
For fellow "do I even know what trust is, let alone how to feel it?" people, the actual, formal definition of "trust" is
"Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something."
In other words, you know what someone is like and can rely on them to act a certain way. You can look away and have a reasonable amount of confidence that things will turn out a certain way. In context of a system, that can mean letting go and allowing others to run the ship for a little if they'd like to (because you know they won't burn the house down), believing someone when they say they need something or will get something done, and working together as a team because you know it'll be okay if you're not the sole person in control of your life.
We haven't trusted each other for most of our existence. Sure, we'd say that we trusted someone to do something, but then we'd act as though we expected them not to follow through. If you didn't put yourself first, then no one else was going to look out for you.
Every creature for themselves! Sabotage! Steal! Lie and betray! Do whatever you have to do to survive, even if it means strangling everyone else to get what you need!
This didn't do much to inspire actual trust between us.
Your relationship with the rest of your system doesn't have to be a chain of constant betrayals and injuries. Trust is a skill, and you can learn it at any time. The first step is to admit that you don't trust each other as much as you wish you could. The second step is to try.
Find patience for each other where you can, be honest about your needs, be vulnerable sometimes, and listen to your system when they ask you to stop or need you to do something. Listening to each other and respecting each other's needs and limits can make a huge difference in how much you trust each other, especially in the long term.
Image ID in alt text and below the cut.
