Dreamer

Sometimes the language you don't speak, is the one that speaks to you.

[minitaurusworld]

On some days I feel so empty, it feels like I am vanishing into nothing.

My limbs are getting heavier and heavier.

My head starts spinning around more and more.

And the only cure there seem to is for my foolish soul is you.

A lie in form of poison, hidden inside a beautiful glas bottle of Dreams.

[minitaurusworld]

Many people are asking me: are you fine? Are you okay?

Always my answer is yes. Then they Look at me with raised eyebrows: really? They ask.

But what do you expect? How could I tell you the truth, if not even I myself understand.

No, I am not fine. And no I am not okay.

Just because I smile, it doesn‘t mean I am happy.

Every day I long to be somewhere else, with someone else, being a other Person.

But that is not the Point. Inside of me there is this lingering agonizing pain.

It comes from all corners. It‘s eating, beating, tearing me up.

It‘s like a dark shadow, laying over everything.

It‘s scaring me.

It‘s hurting and destroying me.

It‘s the enemy I can‘t escape, I can‘t destroy.

Somedays it‘s small, barely noticing it.

But then there a days it‘s so unbelievable big I can‘t help but only cry.

But only at night, when I am alone, laying in my room, not surrounded by people.

Cause crying makes you weak.

Cause crying makes me look like something is wrong with me.

I have to be strong for everybody.

Tears aren‘t a symbol of strength.

But I can‘t help myself, continuing every day after day, the same routine.

Looking for an outway But stuck in the same Place.

So please I wish you would stop asking me if I am okay.

Cause the truth to all those people asking is: I am not fine. I am not okay.

I am only searching for a way of getting out, of this hell.

-life

[minitaurusworld]

Break my heart

Put in into pieces

Let me feel the pain

The pain of losing you

The pain of realizing that you have never loved me and never will.

Shoot the last bullet in my body, killing the last bit of hope I had.

There is nothing saving me from the dark empty feeling covering my soul.

I am falling.

In the grave I have made myself,

foolishly believing there would be a time I could be enough for you.

See the strong woman you have got to known,

you broke her little by little,

unable to Save herself,

unable to fix herself.

Just lying on the floors tears covering my hands glittering like diamonds in the dark,

wishing I could have lived this lie a little longer.

[minitaurusworld]

And then you meet somebody.

That somebody doesn‘t know about the broken shards that once where your heart.

Slowly the pieces start to move.

With every laughter and every tear cried of joy you are repairing yourself.

And as the pieces move back into a howl, as you get to know that somebody better and better...all there little weird habits, they way their eyebrow Jumps up when they are excited, they way their eyes are shining when they are talking about something they love, the way they Touch your hand you Start to love that.

It is like their fingers are the healing magic to your broken and damaged soul.

And as time flies by, their kisses getting sweeter and sweeter...

And your Heart starts to function again, your Head is filling with dreams again, forgetting those long lonely nights you cried through feeling like the only Person in your own missery.

The scars will be there, but they will shine in gold and silver linings, making you more beautiful than ever.

As a japanese wise man once said: Imperfections just make you more pretty.

You will Tell your story and your Heart will be there, to give love again to that Special somebody, who showed you the world again.

So even if it ends badly and you will be broken again...take that hand. Cause the more love you give the brighter your light will shine and I promise you: everything will Fall just into the right place.

My own story

[minitaurusworld]

[minitaurusworld]

Have you ever felt like being totaly out of place?

Like you are just an outstander watching the scenario of life going by your eyes?

A life that ain‘t yours.

A life that is supposed to be yours.

But it is a life which doesn‘t fullfill your inner dreams.

It makes you feel caged, bounded, traped.

You try to understand that restless empty feeling inside your soul.

You think to yourself you should be grateful, you should do this and that, because everybody tells you so, because it seems to be so fucking right.

But it ain‘t right.

You can just keep on standing there and going with everbodys words.

But it won‘t make you happy.

You can fake that smile, but this won‘t be a moment you feel like you are really living.

They can say I am crazy.

Let them talk, while I am catching those precious moments, while I am catching my dream.

But I while promise you:

After all those struggles are overcome, I will be happy. And I will be sad again. But I won‘t be empty.

It is your choice if you are the outstander, the watcher of the film.

Or if you are the actor taking the script in your own hands.

Me

[minitaurusworld]

Truth is, I‘m crazy for you. And everyone can see that except you.

[minitaurusworld]

Why is it so hard to let somebody love you, without expecting anything back? I am not loving you for the things you could give me. I am not giving you my time and attention in need for you to love me back. I want you to be selfish. I want you to be free. My love isn‘t there to put you in a cage, my love is there for giving you hold and being the source of your happy feelings. That my dear is true love for me. To risk it all for somebody without expecting anything back. The only thing I ask from you is to accept this love of mine and to respect it. So you are scared of hurting me? I am not. Because it doesn‘t matter to me as long I See you worthy as for giving you all of my love. Because giving you my love is a choice out of trust which I myself decided to do.

[minitaurusworld]

„Girl you are perfekt. You always worth it. You deserve this. You know you earned this.“

[minitaurusworld]

[minitaurusworld]

What if I never forget you? What if, all my life, when I meet someone new, I can never fall for them because they aren't you?

[minitaurusworld]

And in the heat of the moment, the less appealing facets of love - responsibilities, a fear of commitment, or an uncertain future - are ignored. We'd rather believe a moment lasts forever.

-

[minitaurusworld]

[minitaurusworld]

Truth is...I'd like if it was just me. Up until now and from here on out...even though that's impossible.

-

[minitaurusworld]

You've never hesitated around me, instead of that, you acknowledged me.

Paramour

[minitaurusworld]

[minitaurusworld]

“To love someone...is like...creating a part of yourself with the softest an thinnest skin. Just a simple touch could make my temperatur go up. If they sink their claws in a bit, they can easily tear me up. And if they intentionally squeeze my hand tightly, that would be fatal for me.

♠