just logging back in to actually announce a hiatus :( I'm not sure how long it'll last but probably quite a while! I need a bit more time to sort out private matters before I can enjoy writing anything again im sorry to the anons still in my inbox but thank you all again for being patient <3 I know I'm a very small blog and majority of you probably aren't that bothered but I just thought an update would be nice so it doesn't look like I've died
Themes + Warnings: insomnia, profanity, very very brief mention of drugs, uni au, sexual innuendos, likely to be more in future
Genre: angst/fluff
Summary: Several nights of torturous insomnia drives you to great lengths for a moment's peace. Unbeknownst to you, the solution is very simple and very close. (is that cringe I can't tell)
A/N: Severe lack of renjun content on this website. i started writing this in may and intended for it to be a oneshot but I stalled for months because i’m never inspired and always busy so I decided to make it into somewhat of a series? I can't promise more parts will be out any time soon as I'm still on hiatus but I do have hope!
Word Count: 2.8k
-
Six hundred sheep.
Six hundred sheep had hopped over that tiny little fence in your head, and yet here you were staring into a blank ceiling for the nth night in a row.
You had tried everything the internet recommended; meditation, yoga, exercise, essential oils that smelled nothing like the labels - but none of them had helped, Obviously.
You weren’t sure when this constant wake had started, but it was long enough ago that you knew the only sleep you would be getting tonight was in your eyes. Again.
You sprung yourself upright, paused for a second, then threw yourself back down as hard as you could into bed in a desperate attempt to knock yourself out on your pillow (which absorbed almost all the impact) and clamped your eyes shut.
A few achingly long minutes passed before you accepted that it, like everything else, had not worked and you were unfortunately still awake and alert. To be fair, you knew that never succeeded, but it was worth a shot at least.
You internally cursed your body for damning you to an eternity of sleepless nights before groaning and grabbing your phone from the bedside table next to you. You squinted at the glowing screen, reading 4:05 AM. You had to be up at 8:30, so a four and a half hour head-start sounded about right.
Yeah, probably not.
Deciding to try and have someone talk you to sleep instead, you opened the messenger app and started typing. You knew damn well your roommate was still up in his room playing games, so you selected him as your probably-most-willing candidate to either knock you out or bore you into a coma. If he didn’t answer you’d just have to put a hole through his monitor. It would be what he deserved.
you: are u up
About thirty silent seconds passed before the three little dots appeared next to his name to indicate he was replying.
lil pudu: ya why
you: i cant sleep
lil pudu: again??
you: yes. now come knock me out
lil pudu: cant. in the middle of an overwatch stream.
you: pls
lil pudu: idk ask the sandman or smth ok luv u bye x
you: ur useless.
You made a mental note to pour water on his keyboard when you got up.
As much as you despised the sandman joke after reading it for the millionth time, you did wish that he could just snap his fingers and make you fall asleep. Entertaining the idea to soothe your nearing insanity, you whispered into the darkness of your room and shut your eyes once again,
“Mr sandman, bring me a dream.”
-
Warmth enveloped you.
You heard gentle waves lapping back and forth beside your feet, and the quiet cry of a seagull or two echoing overhead. Your hair lifted slightly in a soft, passing breeze before lowering perfectly back into place. The air was salty as you inhaled, but it was welcoming.
A mild heat rested on your closed eyelids, inviting you to open them.
You squinted as your eyes adjusted to the warm light, gingerly opening one at a time. This was not your bedroom.
Now fully open, you were able to take in the beauty of this unfamiliar place. The sky was painted in gorgeous pink and orange hues, complemented by the drifting candy-floss clouds. The symphony of colours reflected in the vast ocean was illuminated by the glowing sun in the horizon. Your gaze shifted downwards towards the sand you were standing on. It was pink too. You noticed intricate looking white shells lined in two rows up and down the beach in what appeared to be a pathway - as if someone had placed them there.
“Is this a dream?” You asked yourself, reaching down and taking a handful of the balmy sand, letting it fall through your fingers. It felt real. “No way did that Sandman bullshit actually work.”
Your gaze shifted back towards the shells. They felt as though they were beckoning you to follow them. You leaned down and picked one up, examining its delicate design in the fading sunlight. It looked too perfect to be real. Each swirl and divot looked intentionally symmetrical and much too smooth to be the workings of mother nature. Why was there so many? And why were they setting a path for you? No matter which way you looked at it, it seemed peculiar.
You’d have no problem obeying their silent call if this were a dream - you could always wake up in the case of danger. But you didn’t know. It had been so long since your last actual dream that the lines between them and reality were incredibly blurred.
You pinched the skin on your arm, hard enough to leave a reddening mark. If it didn’t hurt, you’d follow the path. If it did hurt, you’d leave the beach and try to find the nearest phone because this was definitely not your room and you did not remember driving here.
It didn’t hurt.
You stood up, dusted off your jeans - you also didn’t remember going to bed in jeans - and set off down the pathway towards the great unknown.
It was probably just more sand.
-
You didn’t know how long you had been walking, but it was long enough that the sun should have set. You looked at it, still illuminating the serene water in the exact same position as it had been when you first opened your eyes. The seagulls had stopped now, the sound of your footsteps in the sand the only accompaniment to the muted waves. Being a university student without a gym membership, this amount of walking should have tired you out. It should have made you a sweaty, panting mess. But you were in perfect condition. In fact, you felt better. Your legs didn’t burn whatsoever despite the non-stop cardio. You wished real life exercise was this easy.
Patting your armpits to find out if you really weren’t sweating, your eyes caught a figure in the distance.
It was undoubtedly human, and they were standing still with their back towards you, but you couldn’t make out much else from where you were now.
It felt like a few hours of walking with no sign of intelligent life in sight, so it was refreshing to finally interact with a human being - real or not.
You broke into a brisk jog to catch up to where the figure was stood. Assuming they wouldn’t be startled by a stranger suddenly running at them in a secluded area, you called out with your hands cupped around your mouth in a makeshift megaphone,
“Hey! What are you-“
Your gaze met the ceiling once again.
You looked around. No sand. No sun. No sea.
Just the blank dimness of your room.
Your phone was still in your hand. You raised it towards your face and stared into the big white numbers in the centre. 8:29 AM. You blinked as the screen faded and you saw nothing but your own reflection of disbelief. Had you actually slept for more than 5 minutes? Did the Sandman really grant you a dream just because you asked? Did Haechan secretly just force you into a coma? A million questions raced through your mind before the familiar blare of your alarm rang through your ears, prompting you to get up. You’d been woken exactly a minute before your alarm.
What the hell, Sandman.
-
“I’m telling you it actually worked!” You pointed your plastic fork accusingly at Mark, who was raising his hands in pretend defense, “As soon as I said the Sandman thing I fell asleep!”
“I’m not saying you didn’t,” He started, gently lowering the weapon in your grasp, “I’m just saying there’s no way the Sandman brought you a dream. He’s a mythical being.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, raising the fork again, “I’ll stab you.”
“Why are you threatening Mark again?” Haechan asked as he approached, taking a seat beside you and opening his bag to look for his probably-forgotten lunch.
“Y/N thinks the Sandman is real.” Mark rolled his eyes. You wished you could roll them into a busy road at the moment with the amount of sass he was giving you.
Haechan looked up, hand stilling in his bag, a lazy grin spreading across his face.
You rolled your eyes back at Mark in mockery, “I never said I thought he was real-“
“You actually took my shitty advice?” Haechan nudged you, winking theatrically and pursing his lips, “awh, you do love me.” He blew a kiss and shut his eyes - only to immediately reopen them when you flicked his mouth.
“I did it as a joke.” You argued, wiping your fingers on the sleeve of his jacket. “But I actually had a dream last night.”
“A wet dream?”
You elbowed him in the ribs, “No, you fucking weirdo.”
He clutched his side in a dramatic show of betrayal and wiped an invisible tear from the corner of his eye, “What happened then?”
You recounted to the pair as much as you could remember from last night - this morning? - about the shell path leading to a mysterious figure, and how you had pants on for some reason, and how you didn’t sweat despite a shocking amount of cardio, and how the sun didn’t move even though it felt like hours passed. You looked at them expectantly, finishing your semi detailed retelling in an exasperated sigh.
They looked at each other with matching expressions of confusion, then back at you. Silence remained as you awaited a response. Mark was the first to speak.
“Are you on drugs?” He feigned concern, eyebrows creased mockingly, as Haechan snickered beside you.
“Shut up,” You poked your fork into his hand, leaving tiny dotted indents, “your dreams are so much worse than that.”
“Oh yeah,” Haechan’s face lit up at his newfound victim, swiftly moving on from your ridicule, “remember when you dreamt about Jaemin making you-“
Mark lunged over the table to clasp a hand over Haechan’s mouth, his face flushing a deep red colour that rivalled the watermelon cubes on his plate. “Don’t say another word.” he threatened, cheeks still glowing.
Haechan made a muffled “blegh” sound, presumably licking Mark’s hand. He pulled it away and shook it limply, removing the excess Haechan saliva.
“What’s wrong with you.”
-
You knew you were right.
You were going to prove it, you just had to have another dream. That’d show you weren’t insane. Probably.
If it worked, Mark had agreed to let you cut his bangs - you were praying on being successful because you had a shiny new pair of zig-zag craft scissors that you were waiting for an opportunity to use.
You took one final glance at your phone, reading 11:27 PM, then let the screen turn to black. It fell to your side as you shut your eyes. You opened your mouth, repeating the faint plea from the previous night,
“Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.”
Your sight adjusted once again to the light emanating from the sun hanging low in the pink dusted sky. You looked down. You were stood on a soft, uneven surface. Aged white shells lined a wide path on either side of you, speckled in sand. Sand.
It had worked.
You clenched your fist shut and pumped it in triumph, a smile forming on your lips. You cackled to yourself, knowing Mark would be donning a hat for the next few months.
As you gathered the rest of your somewhat familiar surroundings, your eyes landed on a figure. It was the same figure from last night; still facing away from you, still unaware of your presence.
You didn’t run this time. You walked briskly but leisurely, basking in the radiant warmth and admiring the calm waters. You were enjoying the glory of being right.
More details became visible as you followed the path further.
The figure was that of a young man, probably no older than you. He was sat cross-legged on a piece of white fabric splayed out in front of the sea. His hair, like the sand and sky, was a faded chalky pink, tickling his neck with a hint of his natural dark roots peaking out from atop his head. He almost blended in. He sported a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and his wrists were decorated in an assortment of beaded and leather bracelets.
He had one hand behind him, resting his weight on it. His other hand twirled a pencil back and forth between his fingers. A small black sketchbook lay in his lap, white pages partially obscured behind his body. You couldn’t see his face yet, but the sunlight reflecting against his exposed skin was enough to convince you he was utterly beautiful. The glow illuminated him, a weak halo hovering on the outline of his frame and highlighting his elegant features to anyone fortunate enough to bear witness to them. He almost reminded you of an angel.
He turned his head as you approached, wide eyes meeting your gaze. You saw yourself ever so slightly reflected in the lenses of the glasses resting loosely on his nose. You looked brighter, more vibrant to match the atmosphere, and your natural palette somehow complemented the surrounding scenery - and the boy - perfectly. It felt like where you belonged in that moment.
You continued to stare at each other in startled silence until his lips parted and he spoke, barely enough to even be audible,
“You’re here.”
He hastily rose to his feet, stumbling towards you and brushing sand grains off his legs. The sketchbook on his lap fell to the floor, revealing it’s contents. A half-drawn seashell lay face up, closely resembling the ones you had followed the past two nights. But this one was broken. The intricate detailing had been illustrated with cracks and shatters adorning the carvings. You felt like you recognised it.
You’d never met him, you were sure of it, but his art was so familiar to you. It must have been the dreamland taking inspiration from a real person. It wasn’t like he had a forgettable face by any means, distinctly soft features still gleaming in the sunlight.
He stuck out his hand, awaiting your greeting with an expectant smile. He seemed to recognise you, too. Was this your dream-buddy? Did your new dreams have lore...? Whatever he was, you still had no idea who he was.
You took his hand, relishing in the comforting tenderness, “So,” you shook it gently, opening your mouth to joke, “are you the Sandman or something?”
His lips were still curled into a mellow smile, slight falter undetected by you, but his eyes flashed a whisper of a melancholy memory as he looked into yours, the soft glaze reflecting muffled heartache. As quickly as it had appeared, the somber flicker faded back into a sheer wall of secrecy. You wanted to find out what those eyes were concealing - what stories lay behind such solemnity.
He exhaled, softer than the clouds circling above you, before opening his mouth to respond,
“You can call me that for now, I guess.”
He smiled again, eyes creasing ever so slightly at your jest. You smiled back. It was almost contagious. “Do you have a real name?”
He grimaced slightly, brows creasing,
“Renjun.”
He held a face of disgust at the mere mention of his own name, his dulcet expression replaced with muffled loathing, “You don’t have to call me that though.”
“Cool.” You didn’t have the means to question his repulse, nothing else made sense here and you frankly didn’t feel an urge to pry, instead moving on to the thought at the front of your mind, “Are you the one that does all that magic sleep stuff to me?” You asked, still shaking his hand.
He stopped for a moment, pouting his lips to indicate he was thinking.
“In a way?” He tilted his head, “it’s complicated.”
You stopped shaking, but your grasp on his hand remained, “Complicated how?”
Another moment of thought passed in peaceful silence before he gathered the words to elaborate,
“Well,” he started, gently letting go of your palm, “I can’t actually control any of it unless I put all my energy into it.”
You stared at him blankly, wordlessly commanding him to explain further,
“I can’t really wake you up at will, that’s all you and what your mind wants,” he gestured with his hands, assuming it would help to make more sense, “and I can only put you to sleep if you directly ask me to like you did tonight,”
You nodded your head in understanding, comprehending this as well as you could,
“but unless I put every last bit of my energy into waking you up when I want to, I can’t do it.” he shrugged.
“What happens if you use every last bit of your energy then?” You asked, curiosity getting the better of you.
He shrugged again, lifting his hands with his shoulders, “No idea. I’ve never done it before.”
(finally a post i’m so sorry for the wait aaah!!!)
i had to google this bc i didn’t know it was a thing 😭 cr to @/snk-warriors
EDIT: I ACTUALLY CANT BELIEVE I JUST COMPLETELY MISREAD HAECHAN IM SO SORRY ILL TRY TO GET AN ACTUAL HAECHAN VERSION OUT AS SOON AS I CAN
fluff alphabet with jaemin! (gn reader)
A ctivities - jaemin likes to spend most of his time with you indoors lazing around - watching movies, sleeping, playing games together etc just being soft and cozy.
B eauty - he thinks everything about you is perfect. literally everything.
C omfort - i think he would try his best to offer you words of comfort and gentle touches, probably trying not to overwhelm you
D reams - you’re his everything so he wants to grow old with you and a cat. he’s already got his pension planned out im sure he can picture you in his future
E qual - jaemin can be whatever you need in a relationship. if you’re more dominant he’ll be more passive, if you’re more passive he can be more dominant. (i don’t really know what this one means)
F ight - any and all fights with jaemin are resolved in the same day. he hates being mad at you and hates when you’re mad at him.
G ratitude - he’ll thank you for everything you do, no matter how small. he’ll make a big show of thanking you for something like making him a cup of coffee or brushing his hair. he appreciates you so much and needs you to know it.
H onesty - he’s completely honest and transparent with you but sometimes it’s hard for you to tell what’s the actual truth and what’s a joke.
I nspiration - you both made each other better people. that’s all
J ealousy - he doesn’t get jealous easily but when he does you’ll know it. he’ll be extra clingy and pouty unless you show him he’s your one and only
K iss - jaemin is a good kisser i just know it. he can be sweet and gentle or passionate and intimate, a versatile kisser if you will
L ove Confession - he never actually confessed to you, you both just started being lovey dovey and went with it
M arriage - he definitely wants to marry you someday, but he’ll wait a million years if you’re not ready yet
N icknames - i think he would call you things like “sweetheart” and “darling” ironically to make you cringe, but he actually mostly calls you “babe”
O n Cloud Nine - he’s clingy and touchy with everyone so it was a little hard for others to realise you two were dating at first, but the long gazes and smiles while your back was turned gave it away. he’s not especially romantic but he does a lot of little things that he wouldn’t do for his friends behind closed doors. he’s smitten with you even if you can’t tell.
P DA - he doesn’t really care too much to brag about you or show you off, but he likes to embarrass you by kissing your cheek or your neck in front of your friends. he also always has to have his hand somewhere on you just to make himself feel comfortable.
Q uirk - jaemin has some kind of sixth sense that always knows when you’re hungry. as soon as you even think about eating, he’s coming out of the kitchen with food or picking up his keys to take you out
R omance - i don’t think he’d do anything super cringey like spelling your name in rose petals (he’s not mark) but he definitely makes an effort to show you how much he loves you
S upport - he will literally always support you no matter what you choose to do with your life
T hrill - jaemin prefers the safety of familiarity, he’s not too keen on constantly spicing things up
U nderstanding - he probably knows you better than you know yourself, and he always hears you out when you have a defence
V alue - you’re the most important thing in his life. end of.
W ild Card - he impulsively buys every cute thing he sees that reminds him of you. he’s running out of space to put them all.
X OXO - jaemin LOVES kissing you and cuddling you. he can’t go a day without holding you and refuses to go to sleep if you’re not in his arms
Y earning - if he’s away for a while he’ll message you every day to make sure you’re eating, call you every night to tell you he loves you, and send you “i miss you” texts every morning. the poor man can’t cope without you.
Z eal - he would put his life and aspirations on hold for you if he needed to.
not at the moment for full fics because i’m not much of a seasoned writer (awful wording) but i guess i could accept them for shorter things like drabbles? i cant promise i’ll fully deliver though i’m not at all confident in my skills ^^;
i’m going on holiday in a couple days for about a month ish so i won’t be as active!!! i’m sorry to the requests i still haven’t answered i’ll try get one or two out before i go :) thank you all for being patient
also!!! to the anons still fermenting in my inbox i’m so so sorry it’s taking so long 💀 one of them is really long though so i’m hoping that’ll make up for it 😭😭
