You die and you meet God.
She looks at you with her Aspen eyes. Her thousand-edged cutting eyes.
She says HELLO. HELLO AGAIN.
She says THAT WAS QUITE A RIDE THIS TIME, HUH?
She says YOUR EYES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. THEY ARE ALWAYS SO BEAUTIFUL.
She says WELL? DID YOU DO IT? DID YOU FIGURE IT OUT?
You don’t reply. You are trying to figure out why you are falling and falling and staying still. You are trying to remember how long you have been falling here. You are trying to remember where here even is.
You say what happened, where am I?
You say my eyes are beautiful? But your eyes… they are so lovely too.
She looks again at you with her chimera mountain Aspen eyes.
She turns ThunderBird. Wings a trillion volts of lightning.
You are turned without from within, cells shattering with the pulse of storms.
ThunderBird says electric YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU GOT HERE?
ThunderBird says galvanic YOUR DEATH WAS BLESSED, AS THEY ALL ARE.
ThunderBird says voltaic NOW YOU ARE HERE. AT THE END OF YOUR LIFE.
You spin and spin apart. There is only this static in your mouth. You think this is what terror truly tastes like. This thought is soothing to you somehow. You are completely still in this empty void. You are surrounded, thrashing in this cramped filled-to-the-brim space.
You scream but I was so young.
You scream how could I have known to enjoy it more?
You scream but I lived a full life.
ThunderBird cradles you in their voltage feathers.
Your breathing leaves you. You wonder if you were breathing this whole time, in this space.
You wonder if you miss it. You cannot remember.
ThunderBird shifts Coyote, yellowed grin all flashing teeth and writhing tongue.
Coyote says laughing IT'S ALL JUST CHAOS ANYWAY.
Coyote says cackling IT'S ALL JUST LIGHT AND DARK AND THE IN BETWEEN.
Coyote says shrieking IT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. WE LIVE. WE DIE. POOF. NO MORE.
You say yes, well, of course, but how am I -
HERE TALKING TO ME? WELL, ISN'T THAT SOMETHING THEN.
Coyote winks into stars, surrounding, spiraling into a thousand heads of The Divine.
You screech and groan and roar and crawl and writhe and slither and claw and gnash and lash a thousand tails.
Shamash says with the voice of the sun YOU'RE ALMOST DUE. ANY MORE QUESTIONS?
You struggle to remember anything besides this endless aching everywhere.
You gasp my life! What was the point of my life?
You say almost due? Due where?
You say when does this stop?
Bastet says with silken sleek drawl IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO ASK? IS IT ALL ABOUT YOU?
You don't remember your name.
Rudra says with obsidian teeth WHAT WAS THE POINT. WELL, I SUPPOSE YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGURE THAT OUT.
You scream a silent scream I don't understand anything!
Prometheus says with flaming song REGARDLESS, THIS IS YOUR STOP.
The Stars that are not quite Stars incandescently chorus SEE YOU SOON.
You blink one last time. Your vision Kaleidoscopes, bends into a thousand ways.
You become Mountain, Fertile Plain, Forest of Evergreen, Desert, The Sea.
You speak to yourself now. There is only yourself.
There has only ever been you in all this soft darkness, all this blinding light.
Here in the Beginning. Here at the end.
The ice and snow wail, melting. GO
The birds call THE POINT OF IT ALL IS TO CARE
The wilderness whispers CARE ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN YOURSELF.
The Wolves howl I WILL ASK YOU NEXT TIME
The playful Dolphin and innocent Dodo and gentle Elephant and loyal Passenger Pigeon and Ivory-billed Woodpecker and the graceful, forgiving Thylacine moans IF YOU WERE ABLE TO DO IT. IF YOU WERE ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT.
You understand. There are uncountable tears. This is all you are. Water salted from the source. You close your eyes.
You awake, in a body small and gasping for breath, screaming a wordless sound.
