a man chooses. @mintnewtons-blog - Tumblr Blog

> Andi: ...stay calm

Right, she wasn’t hallucinating. Well, at least, she was pretty certain her subconscious wouldn’t come up with the term “bing-bongs." Though she wasn’t sure if she would prefer a hallucination. Andi was torn between blushing like crazy and throwing a fit, which left her in a sort of stunned silence.

mintnewtons-blog

Haha, man, this was going better than she could have ever imagined.

Bobi stretched out her leg luxuriously, staring at Andi full in the face as she took a slow bite out of a cookie. "I decided to pop in for a visit, dipshit. And I'll sit where I want doing what I want, thanks. You should be grateful that you have someone willing to deal with your ass in person, you know. Doing you a favor, that's what this is."

She chewed slowly, making sure her actions were assuredly deliberate. Andi might have been one to make snap-decisions and close and open a door five million times as if she were a frantic cheating housewife who had just been caught in a room with her boyfriend, but Bobi was a different sort. A very different sort. You know, the sort of person who seemed to have a grasp on their own motor functions. (haha, wait, shit, this isn't one of those nasty lines you type on the internet, Bobi. you can't just treat people like--) (oh, wait, no, yes you can. carry on.)

"Barbaric? Me? For your information, these were how they came, and I wasn't going to start going through your shit." -- Another bite, and then a sidelong glance -- "Or wait, no, I get you. You wanted me to look through your shit, you exhibitionist freak. First piss, and now this? Jesus christ, Andi -- do you have fucking issues or what?"

She finished the cookie, trying to keep eye contact with the other girl and making a large show out of not blinking. In her heart of hearts, she hoped it was deeply unnerving.

The news of the imp didn't shake her, and instead of leaping up or squealing or whatever else she was supposed to do, she merely took out her wrench with a sort of lazy air. "Well, looks like someone's gonna have to teach that fucker a lesson about sharing. Namely, that I don't do it. Do you want the honors, or should I?"

She tossed the wrench from one hand to the other as she swung her legs over to the edge of the bed.

"Chop chop, Andi. Come on, after this don't you wanna hear how I got here? My exploits? Nothing? Or are you just going to stand there like the waste of oxygen you are. Let's not dick around here."

#para #act 1 #andi

10, 15, 26, 27, 42?

10. pirates or ninjas? why?

who the fuck cares they both fucking suck. people who actually get up in arms about this kind of shitty ass question are pissing baby autists who literally shouldnt be allowed within ten feet of a stable internet connection.

but if i had to choose probably ninjas even tho theyre for weeaboo hot topic freaks. mostly because theyre better than shit for horny hot topic johnny depp freaks.

but just barely.

15. what is your favorite part of your personality?

everything im just so great all around that there is no point isolating variables here. all of me. all of my personality. all of it.

26. what was your favorite cartoon growing up?

i dont fucking know probably the powerpuff girls. this is before i discovered anime and shit, ofc.grunkle and i used to watch the ppg as a reward for when i did shit right in the workroom. you know, built viable inventions and followed directions for blueprints well and whatnot. he called it a reward but i was allowed to watch it literally every time it came on if i wanted to, so maybe it wasnt really but?? the old man has to appear to be hard on some shit.

i fucking loved bubbles tho she was my GIRL.

27. if you had to have a cow or a pig, which one would you take? why?

like what to eat or s/t?? or to keep as a pet? because i would not keep a fucking cow as a pet do you even know how much an animal like that shits? thats a lot of shit. at least pigs, while shitting assholes, are mostly clean. and trainable.

so probably a pig.

but if i had to take one to EAT id pick a cow hands down steak is fucking delicious.

42. do you swear in front of your parents?

well i dont have those but assuming you mean "guardian" in general, my grunkles got this thing called "tv time is family time," so whenever i use the tv he is liable to sit down and just watch.

i use the tv to play multiplayer games through consoles. ie, xbox live.

i hope that answers your question.

HOW FAR CAN YOU THROW THE BALL OF BASES? ALL THESE QUESTIONS ARE INANE, I CANNOT COMPREHEND WHAT SIGNIFICANCE THEY WOULD SERVE.

im assuming you mean baseball and i dont even know what number that is on the list, but i guess its a question and i should answer it.

i have no fucking clue how far i can throw a baseball. i think what really matter is how fucking fast you can get it. which is pretty fast, last time i checked. like 70mph.

not that i play sports i just have goodass arms.

and these questions are supposed to be inane and stupid thats kind of the fucking point. if i dont allow people to vent out their stupidity on my terms, i have to do it on theirs -- so these are mine. see? simple shit.

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

500 chihaya.

#ask shit #ic blogging

dare you.

1: What eye color do you find sexiest?

2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?

3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?

4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?

5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)

6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?

7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?

8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?

9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?

10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?

11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?

12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?

13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?

14: What's your most favorite part of your body?

15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?

16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?

17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?

18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?

19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?

20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?

21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)

22: Which continents have you been on?

23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?

24: Backpacks or satchels?

25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?

26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?

28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?

29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?

30: The latest you've ever slept?

31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?

32: Do you pick at scabs?

33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?

34: How far can you throw a baseball?

35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?

36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?

37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?

38: A relationship with love or one with sex?

39: Do you eat enough vegetables?

40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?

41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?

42: Do you swear in front of your parents?

43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?

44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?

45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?

46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.

47: City or nature person?

48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)

49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?

50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!

#ic blogging #ask memes

incisivemiscreant-deactivated20

Bobi: Make An Ass of Yourself

An exasperated sigh left her as she closed out of her pesters. Somehow talking to Bobi and Hank at the same time was more exhausting than climbing up the mountain. Right now all she could think about was getting some nice, hot chili, maybe even so hot cocoa, to warm her up. Bobi could probably wait a few extra on whatever she needed to do on the computer.

mintnewtons-blog

It was the moment of truth.

Honestly, she had been hoping that she would have been able to make her grand entrance a little more, well, memorable. Swooping down at Andi from her own roof had been the initial plan, but even the best laid schemes get put off due to poor weather. It had only taken Bobi a minute to realize that she, in fact, did not want to sit up in the freezing cold in order greet some stupid girl, and would much rather be left in the warmth of the house.

Under some blankets, preferably.

Goddamnit it was cold.

Of course, just because she was in the house didn't mean that she had to behave like a proper guest. What were manners? As grunckle always said, if someone allows you in their room, it is no longer your job to pick up after yourself. Or show common courtesy. Or take off your shoes before getting on the furniture. They should have had the good sense not to invite you anyway. (Not that she'd been properly invited, of course, but Bobi knew that she was welcome. They were comrades, weren't they? (lol))

Cookie crumbs on the blankets and dirty fists on the pillows made her feel adequately potentially infuriating, and though she considered making some kind of fool of herself (maybe a cat mask? writing out "what are we going to do on the bed" in sharpie above the wall? -- both classic, but alas, alas), there was simply no time. She could hear the stomping of frozen footsteps, and a questionable voice cooing to some fox or another -- clearly, her time was up.

Now all she could was slip herself just-so on the bed, position the cookies in the most obvious of positions, and wait for the--

Haha, yes, hello there, princess.

The leaving thing was definitely unexpected, but Bobi assumed that the best attempts took a minute to soak in.

Once Andi mustered up the willpower to open her door again, Bobi struck an unnecessarily stupid pose, lounging luxuriously and wrapping her legs in the sheets. "Well yeah you're probably dehydrated. I mean, anyone looking at this bod would get pretty thirsty, hahahaha."

She pulled her torso straight, and propped herself up by her elbows.

"'Sup though, faggot. Happy to see me? You would not believe the trip I had to take to get here. I had to brave an entire portal, and then your nasty cold-ass land."

After a moment's consideration, she added,

"You wouldn't happen to have a spare coat or some shit lying around, would you? I'm freezing my bing-bongs off here."

#andi #para #medium #act 1

Bobi: get him to call you a dumb name

-- bombasticBrave [BB] began pestering mintNewtons [MN] at 21:37 --

BB: Yo Panty! Pannnty!

MN: lmao youre actually going with that.

BB: Yep!

MN: thats alright it makes me feel pretty fucking good about myself.

MN: what do you ned, bud?

MN: *need

BB: I have something for you!

MN: better be something good.

MN: (you better not say something nasty.)

BB: 984COK1

BB: You enter that code

BB: and You'll get cookies!

BB: I baked them myself uvu

MN: fucking.

MN: what kind of cookies we talking here.

BB: Chocolate chip O: that's all I had

MN: you drive a hard deal there hank.

MN: im kind of off planet but the nice chance i get

MN: lmao who am i kidding ill just use andis punch shit i want these cookies pretty damn bad.

BB: Oh good!

BB: I thought you didn't like chocolate chip

BB: I was gonna be so sad XD

BB: Oh

BB: shit

BB: none of that

BB: that didn't happen

MN: youre fine you made me cookies.

MN: i will

MN: ease off of you

MN: for now.

BB: Thank you Panty!

MN: youre welcome, suga momma (lol).

MN: you better be a good baker tho i could just die for something decent rn.

MN: i mean i guess i could try to duplicate chips ahoy but its just not the same.

BB: You called me Suga Momma!

BB: Hahahaha! Thank you! ehhehehehe

BB: I think my cooking skills are good though!

MN: for the record i like snickerdoodles and those minty chocolate cookies the best but i dont think we have the resources here.

MN: which is a real shame.

MN: why the fuck couldnt this game happen during girlscout season.

BB: Oh man I feel your pain right there

BB: when girlscout season is around

MN: what i wouldnt give for a fucking thin mint right now.

BB: I make it rain mint chocolate cookies in my room

MN: youre literally speaking my language right now.

MN: swoonami.

MN: (lol.)

MN: but seriously fuck this game i dont think i have any way to make my favorite sweets rn and its pissing me off but. B\

MN: what you gonna do.

MN: anyway let me load these up on the punch thingie real quick.

BB: Um I have a cake if you want to use the code for that

MN: you beautiful man.

MN: what kinda cake is it dont leave me in suspense.

BB: It's chocolate!

BB: I made it for Rita, cause she likes chocolate

BB: but I don't think she minds if I share it

MN: well how would she know.

MN: but right is that uh

MN: cc then? B\

BB: CC yeah!

MN: i heard she hates america.

MN: for fucking shame.

BB: Yeah unu

BB: but we're still friends! 8D

MN: when i catch her online either we will have a fight or we will bond over mutual love of chocolate cake.

MN: lay that shit on me, brother.

BB: 837CAK2

MN: gods fucking bless you hank.

MN: time god

MN: bless you.

MN: (best god.)

BB: Welcome !

MN: alright i fired up the cookies and they are fucking delicious.

BB: You really think so?!

MN: yeah lmao i wouldnt say so if i didnt.

MN: seriously thanks im saving the SHIT out of this code.

BB: I have some chili too if you want that!

MN: nah im more of a sweets kind of girl.

BB: Kaaay!

MN: but if you ever make any other baked goods hmu.

BB: I'll try! But the imps kinda raid and made a mess of my food

BB: so that was it

MN: wait shit like do you ned any more foodstuffs? B\

MN: the imps dont touch my house.

MN: *need

MN: i have some that i can share around if you need variety.

BB: Nah! It's fine I can do without. You might need it later!

BB: I'm gonna head out soon to explore my land anyways

MN: its just codes, bud.

MN: but as you like i guess.

MN: dont be a stranger if you need anything.

MN: but ok good.

MN: RIGHT THOUGH theres a thought.

MN: i heard you had a run in with an ogre. B\

MN: care to explain yourself.

BB: Okay

BB: So like awesome story time!

BB: I jumped out the window cause I needed to get more grist!

BB: And out in the ran I found these imps right?

BB: Easy things to bring down

BB: Then there was this giant of a motherfucker coming up

BB: And I was going to give him my super special Miraculous Bomber attack right?

BB: Then it punch me

BB: And then I was sent flying and crashing and rolling down a mountain!

BB: But the ogre didn't know that my body flows with infinite energy!

MN: are

MN: you

MN: hurt.

BB: Oh huh

BB: my head was hurting a lot

BB: Got a busted lip

MN: h a n k .

BB: few scratches and junk

BB: but that's okay

BB: it was probably the glass

BB: I ran back upa nd kicked its ass though!

MN: are they hard to kill.

MN: i ran into a pack of them earlier but i didnt want to test my luck.

BB: Kiiinda?

BB: I wouldn't want to face two of them at once

MN: christ.

BB: but I think I can still whoop their butts :3

MN: yeah then i was right to turn tail, then.

MN: i think i counted four it was scary shit.

MN: not that i was scared but you know.

BB: I wonder if I'll find four of em

MN: lets hope not.

BB: Andi doesn't think I can handle them

MN: well, are you ok?

MN: and obviously you can handle the one.

BB: Course!

BB: I am after all

BB: immortal !

MN: the fact of the matter is that injuries are a matter of course in--

MN: no.

MN: no no no no.

MN: dont fucking say that.

MN: dont get cocky.

MN: youre mortal

MN: you can die very easily.

MN: be

MN: fucking

MN: careful.

MN: i dont want to have to kiss two dead stupid faggots.

BB: I'm always careful!

BB: And besides

BB: I already promised I won't die

MN: NO YOU ARE NOT.

BB: soooo I won't die!

MN: hank.

MN: youve done

MN: enough for today.

MN: how about you

MN: stay home

MN: and get some rest

MN: until tomorrow.

BB: I can't D:

MN: w h y .

BB: Because

BB: Adventure!

MN: no.

MN: no you are

MN: STAYING

MN: INSIDE.

MN: or if you do step outside.

BB: I'll be fineeee

MN: you are

MN: wearing

MN: a helmet.

MN: putting my fucking foot down here.

BB: I don't need one!

MN: yes you do.

BB: No I refuse!

MN: mr busted lip and cut up arm and a whole other mess of shit.

MN: put on the fucking helmet hank i swear to god.

BB: No I can't

BB: I really can't

MN: yes you can and you will.

BB: But the helmet I have isn't mine, it belongs to my dad I don't got permission to borrow it

MN: oh.

MN: i dont actually own any or i would give you mine.

MN: well shit.

BB: Don't worry about it

MN: just be careful then, alright? B\

MN: and message me if you fuck up.

BB: Promiseeeee~~

MN: dont

MN: fucking

MN: squiggle

MN: at me.

MN: hank i swear.

BB: hehehe okay!

BB: but don't worry I can beat up anything that comes in my way

MN: as long as it comes one at a time, right? B\

MN: just be fucking careful.

BB: If I get ganged up I'll beat them up too!

MN: these ogres seem like theyre bad news.

MN: and dont be so confident.

MN: one of the best lessons you can learn is knowing when to turn tail and run, you know.

BB: Right! That is true. Then I'll defeat some and take the grists and run 8D

MN: no then you just run.

MN: dont worry about it.

MN: remember, if there is even a CHANCE that you could lose, just RUN.

BB: But we neeed the grists!

MN: yes well you can make more grist alive than you can while dead.

MN: B\

BB: Then I'll just stay alive then right??

MN: yes but you cant dictate that.

MN: just be

MN: careful.

MN: ok.

MN: i dont want you dead or really injured. B\

MN: but dont let me keep you from exploring.

MN: thats probably more productive in the long run but.

MN: just come home quickly and get some rest.

MN: i think youve made enough stupid ass mistakes for one day.

BB: Right! If I am too damaged I'll go right back home and just rest up!

BB: But I won't try and get hurt in general

MN: i know you wont TRY but it might just HAPPEN. B\

BB: You think so ??? I don't think my luck isn't that bad!

MN: ITS

MN: BEEN

MN: HAPPENING.

MN: EVERY TIME I TALK TO YOU

MN: YOU LITERALLY HAVE

MN: SOME NEW FUCKING INJURY.

BB: Wow now that I think about it

BB: your kinda right!

BB: I'll try to be more careful then~~

MN: no squiggles.

MN: but yes PLEASE BE MORE CAREFUL.

MN: if/when i get to your land i am inspecting you and making sure youre alright and if youre not i swear im making you sleep for the rest of the night im not even fucking around here.

BB: L-like a mom? o.o

MN: no like an onee-san.

BB: So your my sis O:

BB: Oh wow can I call you onee-san

MN: yes this is acceptable.

BB: Wow?! Really! Thank you Onee-san!

BB: I always wanted to have a sister!

MN: dont get too excited i could revoke it at any time.

BB: Oh please don't! I'll do good! I promise

MN: alright good.

MN: but ok ill let you go then.

MN: be careful kid.

BB: Thank you Onee-san!

BB: I will >w<

MN: dont upset me the next time we talk.

BB: Roger!

MN: later, hank.

BB: Seeya!

MN: now be a good boy and x out of this for me would you.

BB: Of course Onee-san!

-- bombasticBrave [BB] ceased pestering mintNewtons [MN] at 22:49 --

#hank #medium #act 1 #pesterlog

Bobi: Pester some poor asshole

sorry andi.

#andi #pc #medium #act 1

bombasticbrave

===> Hank: Pester Bobi

Bobi: Achieve Liddof

==> *liftof, dumbass. *liftien *ifght *oh forget it (*liftoff) (got it, lol.)

You've done it. Somehow, by the grace of the gods, you have succeeded in getting 50 feet off the ground (emergency parachute in tow -- no, you're not fucking stupid), and slowly inching towards your portal. It is within your reach. You can almost taste it.

Or that's what you would say if you were a weird asshole or something.

15mph is even slower than it sounds in the air, but you near the portal and pop on through.

==>

JESUS FUCK NO.

NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.

You mash the button for acceleration frantically, which makes the machine overheat but reach the astonishing top speed of 25mph, and get the FUCK out of there.

Jesus christ.

You've got to tell somebody.

Bobi: Pester some poor asshole.

#act one #medium #monologue #frame

bobi asks glacis a question and then it slowly spirals out of control.

-- mintNewtons [MN] began pestering dauntlessTracker [DT] at 19:15 --

MN: glacis you got a second.

MN: youre a hunter right.

DT: --)- yes to the first, yes to the second

DT: --)- why

MN: do you

MN: by chance

MN: keep any parts

MN: of the animals you kill.

DT: --)- sure

DT: --)- not like mounted heads

DT: --)- but bones and shit

MN: that might work.

MN: do you

MN: by total chance

MN: have any bird or bat wings

MN: just

MN: laying around.

MN: you know.

DT: --)- you mean like with the feathers on

MN: chillin out relaxing feeling all cool.

MN: either or.

MN: im not picky i just ned the bone structure and design.

MN: *ned

MN: *neede

MN: *nende

MN: *ndned

MN: (nDed

DT: --)- I get it

MN: *need

DT: --)- you can stop now

MN: no you dont understand.

MN: you might get it but i have to correct it. B\

MN: im not going to not fix my mistakes.

MN: but anyway do you got the goods.

DT: --)- I'm pretty sure I've got at least one specimen

MN: hell fucking yes.

DT: --)- do they need to be a certain size

MN: uh probably not but the bigger the better.

MN: whatever you got is going to be ok though.

MN: i just need it for the alchemy shit.

DT: --)- you're going to duplicate some bones

DT: --)- why

MN: not duplicate.

DT: --)- what

MN: that was the second thing i wanted to mention.

MN: you can make new objects by combining unrelated objects.

MN: so what im going to do is combine these bird wings

DT: --)- seriously

MN: with a flying machine

MN: in the hopes that i get something that can allow me to fly. B\

MN: yeah seriously.

DT: --)- oh that's right

MN: theres two ways to do it.

DT: --)- andi said you wouldn' let her build shit for you

DT: --)- what's that all about

MN: ok first of all i dont trust her

MN: with my house.

MN: pure and simple there.

MN: but also.

MN: im not sure how these gates work.

MN: or portals.

MN: or whatever theyre called.

MN: what if what happens is that you can only go to the land next in the series to yours.

MN: so id be going to andis.

MN: but andi doesnt have her house built up properly.

MN: so i cant move on to the rest.

MN: its needless.

MN: wastes time.

MN: and i dont want to take the risk.

DT: --)- fair enough

DT: --)- right, because otherwise you might fall and kill yourself

MN: what, with the wings or without people building their shit properly.

MN: because if its with the wings ill be fucking careful.

DT: --)- with the house building, not the flying machine

MN: yeah thats true.

DT: --)- although that seems like a possibility too

MN: like i dont?? know where?? itll drop me off??

MN: better to be safe than sorry.

MN: and i trust myself more than others in this regard.

MN: no offense.

DT: --)- well if and when you get through

DT: --)- tell other people where you end up

MN: i will.

DT: --)- good

MN: ill keep you guys updated.

DT: --)- that's all anyone can ask

MN: this isnt a solo game and the sooner we know the secrets the beter.

MN: *beter

MN: *bebter

MN: (bebrt

DT: --)- better

MN: *bebrhr

MN: thanks.

DT: --)- got it

DT: --)- but what were you saying about the combining items

MN: right that.

MN: theres two ways to do it.

MN: you can overlap the cards so that when theyre punched, theyre overlayed.

MN: which makes the || function, i think.

DT: --)- alright

MN: or you can just both codes in on the same card.

MN: which makes the && function.

MN: i dont really know the difference but the items you get

MN: are radically different.

DT: --)- I can just what both cards

DT: --)- ' you can just both codes'

MN: fuck sorry.

MN: mind went

MN: faster than my fingers.

MN: you can just input the codes from both cards.

DT: --)- alright

MN: methodically and seperately.

MN: like double imprint it.

MN: anyway.

DT: --)- is this like that coding shit

DT: --)- it kind of reminds me of something

MN: for instance, a flying machine || chihaya combo makes a flying machine with chihayas face on it.

DT: --)- like the if (x = y || x = z ){ yadda yadda

MN: but a flying machine && chihaya makes a chihaya figurine with wings.

DT: --)- a what figurine

MN: a chihaya.

MN: shes a shitty stupid anime girl dont worry about her too much.

MN: i own like 5 of her.

MN: well.

MN: maybe more like

MN: 15 now.

DT: --)- been duping them I take it

MN: and combining them with other things.

MN: theyre pretty cheap so its worth it.

DT: --)- yeah

MN: been experimenting a lot with this shit.

MN: but what i think im going to do is

DT: --)- I haven' yet because my shitty server hasn' put down the punch designix yet

MN: combine the bird wings with the flying machine.

DT: --)- will that work

MN: and then combine that with the flying apparatus.

MN: rather, the thing i use to strap it to myself.

MN: im not sure yet.

MN: but its worth a shot.

MN: and i DONT want to resort to using rockets.

MN: ill incinerate myself.

DT: --)- but how would I get the bones to you

DT: --)- do I just give you the code

MN: just give me the code, yeah.

MN: i can make my own.

DT: --)- alright that works

MN: but really your server STILL hasnt gotten in contact with you over this shit?

MN: B\

DT: --)- no

MN: whose your faggot again.

DT: --)- not since I got in

DT: --)- seimos

MN: wait

MN: shit

MN: ELSU.

MN: I HAVENT TALKED TO ELSU

DT: --)- what

MN: FUCK.

MN: i

DT: --)- your client

MN: yes.

DT: --)- I take it

MN: godDAMNIT.

MN: i hope the littler stoners ok.

MN: *little

MN: got it.

DT: --)- I don' think I've spoken to him

MN: but he didnt seem like he was in any danger.

MN: fucking.

MN: that means

MN: one of two

MN: fucking things:

MN: 1. he is hurt and im being a shitty fucking person rn.

MN: 2. he is stoned and im right to have fucked off from him for now.

DT: --)- stoned

MN: stoned.

MN: right.

MN: trolls.

MN: uh.

MN: do you guys have drugs

MN: perchance.

MN: B\

DT: --)- yeah

DT: --)- not readily available where I live though

MN: well like how many drugs do you have.

MN: do you know.

MN: or are they all just

MN: medicinal.

DT: --)- I think there are some that trolls use for pleasure at the cost of impaired judgment

DT: --)- is that what we're talking about

MN: yes exactly that.

DT: --)- perfect

MN: being stoned is the term used for

MN: being under the influence of a specific drug

MN: that makes you calm, hungry and very, very stupid.

MN: and elsu loves the shit.

DT: --)- huh

MN: fuck i think hes ok i mean lonami was talking about him and he semed alright.

MN: *semed

MN: *seme

MN: *smemed

MN: *seemed

DT: --)- it's not all that common as far as I know, but apparently some idiots eat sopor slime on occasion

DT: --)- sounds vaguely the same

MN: sopor? B\

DT: --)- right

DT: --)- humans

MN: why the fuck would you touch slime.

MN: let alone put it in your fucking body.

DT: --)- it's a substance that we sleep in

MN: you

MN: sleep in

MN: slime.

DT: --)- if we don'

DT: --)- we get vivid nightmares, hallucinations

DT: --)- I guess it's possible to live like that but who the fuck would want to

DT: --)- so it's slime or bust

MN: still though isnt that a pain in the ass to wash off.

MN: why the fuck did your species evolve to have vivid nightmares

DT: --)- yeah it can be

MN: unless it slept in slime.

DT: --)- and who the fuck knows

MN: like seriously that seems counterproductive. B\

DT: --)- it does

MN: what happens if you dont sleep though do you guys NEED it or just like it.

DT: --)- like I said

DT: --)- as far as I know you can live without it

DT: --)- but who knows how much it would fuck you up

MN: but itd be fucking stupid yeah.

DT: --)- if you kept doing it repeatedly

MN: well i assume you guys have a good supply, right.

MN: no ones low on the not-crazy slime.

DT: --)- if everyone still has their recuperacoons, yeah

DT: --)- I haven' tried sleeping yet myself

DT: --)- not for long, anyway

MN: huh.

MN: well i guess we can always make more if we run low.

MN: gods bless this alchemy shit.

DT: --)- yeah

DT: --)- no kidding

MN: but alright so dont let anyone eat it and make sure people sleep in it.

DT: --)- that's about the size of it

DT: --)- but everyone should already know those things

DT: --)- oh and I guess it goes without saying but

DT: --)- if you go to someone else's land and find some, don' touch or eat it

DT: --)- who knows if humans can stand the stuff or not

MN: yeah im not a piece of shit stoner so ill keep away.

DT: --)- good

MN: im not interested in using myself as a test rat for troll shit.

MN: and you guys probably shouldnt touch elsus weed or all the brandy and jack daniels my grunkle stored away.

MN: etc etc.

MN: hell no one should be touching this shit.

MN: we need to be at our mental prime here.

MN: B\

DT: --)- yeah seriously

MN: especially if were supposed to do this complicated alchemy shit.

DT: --)- I don' think we have any sopor addicts but nevertheless

MN: and solve these lands.

MN: and figure ourselves out or whatever the fuck.

DT: --)- we don' have time to be goofing off and eating 'jack daniels'

DT: --)- or drinking

DT: --)- or smoking

DT: --)- or whatever you do with it

MN: you drink jack daniels.

DT: --)- okay

MN: its this brand of

MN: mildly expensive whisky.

MN: it tastes ok and it goes down easy, or so says my grunkle.

MN: i dont have time to drink though, so i cant give you an first hand account.

DT: --)- that's fine

DT: --)- we don' need another impaired player running around

MN: youre telling me.

DT: --)- but are you sure your client can handle himself

DT: --)- has he been killing imps

MN: between the people who are impaired through drugs and the people who are impaired through their own incompetence.

MN: and honestly i dont know i feel really bad about this shit.

MN: ill talk to him next chance i get. B\

MN: i assume hes ok bc

MN: once again

MN: he survived lonami.

DT: --)- there's that name again

DT: --)- I'm not looking forward to that conversation

MN: shes pretty miserable.

MN: she thinks shes an idol

MN: and uses these

MN: horrible

MN: horrible faces.

MN: let me find some for you

MN: ☆～（ゝ。∂）

MN: (´∩｀。)

DT: --)- not another one

DT: --)- oh gods

MN: 【・ヘ・?】

MN: and

MN: the worst of them:

MN: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

MN: help me gods.

MN: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

DT: --)- holy shit

MN: look at that piece of shit.

DT: --)- why are there stars coming out of it

MN: i have no fucking clue.

MN: apparently

DT: --)- what's all this extraneous bullshit

MN: that and the wink are her favorites.

MN: i dont understand her

MN: she really sucks try and get out of talking with her for as long as you can.

MN: i hate to say that about a teammate but i literally do not have the patience.

DT: --)- I don' blame you

DT: --)- if my hunch is right

DT: --)- and I this point, I don' see any way I could be wrong

DT: --)- she's the heiress

MN: yeah she said as much.

MN: she also said she prototyped her mom and a record album.

DT: --)- which means she was basically guaranteed from the start to be an annoying piece of shit

MN: and that shes telling her mom on me because i was mean to her.

MN: B\

DT: --)- oh

MN: waaah waaah cry more faggot.

DT: --)- uh

MN: glacis.

DT: --)- her mom is the leviathan

MN: you are not--

MN: god

MN: fucking

MN: damnit.

DT: --)- what

MN: wow just wow.

DT: --)- what

MN: go me like seriously.

DT: --)- I'm not what

MN: being very reassuring right now.

MN: was what i was going to say

DT: --)- just letting you know

MN: yeah christ.

MN: well what can her mom do.

MN: shes dead and a sprite.

MN: B\

DT: --)- I don' know but I wouldn' push your luck

DT: --)- at least not until you know for sure

DT: --)- that it can' kill you

MN: whelp.

MN: and the dumbass mentioned how she wished i was dying so.

MN: whelp.

MN: \o/

MN: looks like im boned.

DT: --)- some of you seem to have a strange knack for pissing off monsters

MN: i bequeath all my possessions unto you, other competent player.

DT: --)- you and andi should start a club

MN: "faggot buttmunches who piss off monsters."

MN: only with me i havent

MN: necessarily

MN: killed myself yet.

MN: i could still win this.

MN: if i.

DT: --)- andi isn' dead or anything yet, is she

MN: gulps audibly.

MN: apologize.

DT: --)- last time I talked to her she was still alive

MN: no shes fine.

DT: --)- but I don' blame you for not wanting to kiss ass though

DT: --)- ah

DT: --)- alright

MN: were not on speaking terms for this hour though.

MN: maybe the next one.

DT: --)- ha

MN: i pissed her off it was totally my fault but lmao it was sooo fucking worth it.

DT: --)- well, whatever

DT: --)- royalty is easy to piss off

MN: i meant andi.

DT: --)- oh andi

MN: the heiress like.

MN: apparently she still wants to

MN: be my friend.

MN: B\

MN: so.

DT: --)- well

DT: --)- there you go

DT: --)- although if you ask me this friend bullshit is wearing a little thin already

MN: yeah im asking if shes told on me yet.

MN: and how do you mean.

MN: WAIT.

MN: FUCK.

DT: --)- I mean

DT: --)- what

MN: cant believe i did that.

DT: --)- what

MN: talked to you with my shitty blue text.

MN: sorry about that.

MN: but what about the friend shit.

DT: --)- ah fuck don' even worry about it

DT: --)- if I highlight part of the text, it keeps highlighting even as new messages come in

MN: you should just remind me to switch.

DT: --)- so next time don' bother changing your color

MN: but nah you shouldnt have to feel obligated to change it. B\

DT: --)- nah this is less of a pain in the ass

MN: it literally takes two clicks on my part.

DT: --)- I don' even have to change it though

DT: --)- I literally just highlight once

DT: --)- and that's all

DT: --)- apparently it can work like that

MN: well if you say so.

MN: idk man i just dont want to make this shitty for you. B\

MN: but.

MN: as you were saying.

DT: --)- right

DT: --)- I was just saying that I don' see why some of these players are trying to force everyone into some sort of friend pact already

DT: --)- we just fell, to be totally honest, ass backwards into this fucking game

MN: isnt that the fucking truth.

DT: --)- and making friends should be pretty low on the fucking totem wouldn' you say

DT: --)- as long as everyone pulls their weight

DT: --)- that's all that we need

MN: i mean we should share information with each other and try not to be huge assholes to one another.

MN: but forcing friendship

MN: is literally the stupidest shit you can pull.

MN: you cant make someone be your fucking friend.

MN: B\

DT: --)- tell me about it

DT: --)- that was hank's end of the bet

DT: --)- that I would have to 'be his pal' if he won

MN: besides no offense but i dont necessarily want to be friends with any of you.

MN: if it happens it happens but we have other shit to do.

DT: --)- as if friendship is some fucking material thing that I can just hand over to him

DT: --)- and yeah that works perfectly fine for me

MN: as long as were faking civil behavior 20% of the time and no one is at another persons throat

MN: who the fuck cares.

MN: also for your information apparently chihaya (what i call heiress) didnt tell her mom on me and hasnt thought about it for a while, but she wants to tell her mom on andi.

DT: --)- I'm glad that there are people who are on the same page at least

MN: i just.

MN: that girl.

MN: B\

MN: tell me about it.

DT: --)- how many eldritch beings can she attract in one day

MN: like can i go a fucking conversation with some of these dipshits without

MN: "WE WILL BE FRIENDS ONE DAY, BOBI!!!"

MN: no, fuck off.

MN: i dont know you.

MN: and who knows.

MN: shes very talented at being incompetent

MN: let me tell you that much.

DT: --)- she seems alright

DT: --)- she gave me the stupidest fucking nickname

DT: --)- although I guess that came from my server too

DT: --)- as most of the bullshit in this game so far is wont to do

DT: --)- but yeah it'd be even more alright if she could stop pissing off things that probably rip her in half without breaking a sweat

MN: lmao.

MN: i wouldnt mind her so much if shed just admit to the fact that shes a little shit sometimes. B\

MN: like she does not

MN: take the blame

MN: for anything.

MN: if she doesnt understand something, its my fault for saying it.

DT: --)- I haven' had to be her partner so

DT: --)- yeah

MN: if she fucks something up, its the programs fault.

MN: if she cant remain on civil terms with a demon, its because shes "not a kiss ass."

MN: like it just gets to a level of supreme irritation.

MN: B\

MN: its like.

MN: even i could break her spine if i wanted to.

DT: --)- really

MN: sure.

DT: --)- is she weaker than other members of your species

MN: no, im just stronger than other members of my species.

MN: /flex

MN: i dont actually know how strong she is but im a trained fighter so.

DT: --)- interesting

DT: --)- I'll admit I'm curious to see what humans can do

DT: --)- or what they look like

DT: --)- andi gave me the impression that they're physically fragile

MN: you want a picture of me?

MN: i can give that much. \ o /

DT: --)- really

MN: sure.

DT: --)- alright by me

MN: and it depends on the person.

MN: some people are weak pieces of shit

DT: --)- I suppose in that regard our species are the same

MN: others can lift 800 pounds.

DT: --)- I wonder if our rustbloods are comparable to your weak pieces of shit

MN: some people could not win a game of bloody knuckles if you gave them gloves to protect their feeble fists

MN: others could kill you with one punch.

MN: but yeah maybe.

DT: --)- so humans seem at the very least, to be highly variable in strength

MN: extremely.

MN: anyway hold on a sec there.

DT: --)- sure

-- mintNewtons [MN] sent file [yoglacis.png] to dauntlessTracker [DT] --

DT: --)- ah

DT: --)- hm

DT: --)- humans aren' too dissimilar from trolls, as it turns out

DT: --)- well, maybe aside from coloration

DT: --)- and the horns and teeth

DT: --)- and eyes

MN: yeah carada showed me her pic and thats all i could

MN: distingush as well.

MN: B\

DT: --)- go figure

MN: its weird that were so fucking similar.

DT: --)- I already knew you were bipedal and had hair but nevertheless

DT: --)- even our skulls seem to be roughly the same shape

MN: right? its fucking weird.

DT: --)- but our life cycles are completely different

MN: down to how our noses look all fucked up and literally not like any other animals.

DT: --)- that doesn' make any sense

MN: B\

MN: yeah youre insects and were mammals.

MN: the fuck is up with that.

DT: --)- I don' know

DT: --)- I'm filing this under strange, possibly relevant bullshit

DT: --)- that probably isn' important right now

MN: maybe when we have more time we can

MN: investigate it further.

DT: --)- yeah

MN: but rn all we should focus is on not dying.

MN: and getting that stupid kid up and running again.

MN: right i was supposed to ask people.

MN: do you want to kiss him?

MN: no?

MN: ok good done.

DT: --)- thank you for answering for me

DT: --)- anyway I don' know if anyone actually wants to kiss him do they

DT: --)- I know you volunteered but

DT: --)- that's a different situation entirely

MN: yeah its more like i dont mind looking at horrible gory bodies and im sure id

MN: be ok with kissing one.

MN: if it was to save his life.

MN: or revive him or whatever. B\

MN: and im sure all of you are busy with your

MN: dangerous lands

MN: that could actually kill you.

DT: --)- ha

DT: --)- you have a point

MN: while i just sit around talking to fucking chickens.

DT: --)- I don' mind bodies myself really but, well

DT: --)- let's just say that I'd rather not stick my face close to some possessed burnt up corpse

DT: --)- and hope for the best

MN: i cant say i can blame you.

MN: but whatever im not usually fussed by shit like that.

MN: i grew up in the bronx.

MN: im a big girl.

MN: i dont cry.

MN: lmao.

MN: gunshots at night? what the fuck ever.

DT: --)- so you are a female

MN: yeah?

MN: didnt i tell you that

MN: before.

MN: B\

DT: --)- you did I think

DT: --)- andi was convinced

DT: --)- that you weren', though

MN: ok.

MN: that is because

MN: andi is fucking stupid.

DT: --)- shouldn' humans at least be able to tell apart their own sexes

MN: you would think, wouldnt you.

MN: but no, andi just proves herself to be an incompetent piece of shit

MN: once again.

DT: --)- she's agreeable, at least

DT: --)- most of the time

DT: --)- to me

DT: --)- except for the nickname bullshit

MN: not to me but.

MN: youre allowed to like people that i dont i mean what the fuck ever. B\

MN: i mean

MN: i dont think shes horrible.

MN: and i dont want her hurt.

DT: --)- I don' particularly like her

MN: but shes just

MN: so

MN: stupid.

DT: --)- I just think she's got a rung up on some of the other players

MN: well YEAH but.

MN: that is literally saying nothing.

DT: --)- you have a point there

DT: --)- she's just about tied with the demon

MN: i like the demon more but the demon was kinda funny so.

MN: its whatever.

MN: shes my teammate and i want the best for her but jfc. B\

MN: andi.

MN: i mean you saw the picture do i really look like a dude.

MN: i thought my perm was doing a good job of making me look like a chick for ONCE.

DT: --)- you look like a female as far as I can tell

MN: stupid andi.

MN: B\

DT: --)- then again I was operation on that assumption to begin with so I might be biased

MN: yeah i guess so.

MN: idk i didnt think my gender was such a big deal but i dont need the entire group

MN: changing my fucking pronouns

DT: --)- it could be because you don' seem to have much of a chest

MN: constantly.

MN: B]

DT: --)- or is that common for humans

MN: ...

MN: *B\

MN: well no i dont but i also wear baggy shirts and that kills

MN: the little bing-bongs

MN: i actually do have.

DT: --)- bing bongs

DT: --)- alright

MN: im actually a B cup.

MN: its a very, very serious word for boobs.

DT: --)- why do all of these serious words seem to rhyme

DT: --)- or

DT: --)- alliterate

MN: dont ask me

MN: ask the extremely gangster people

MN: who constructed them.

DT: --)- huh

DT: --)- alright then

MN: dont even bring them up to other humans though they wouldnt get it.

MN: because none of them are as

MN: well-versed in slang

MN: as i am.

MN: also theyre

MN: extremely dirty

MN: so if they did know them

MN: theyd be incredibly offended.

DT: --)- really

MN: yes.

DT: --)- interesting

DT: --)- I don' suppose there's any chance that you're just making up vocabulary to try and pull my leg are you

MN: nope.

DT: --)- fair enough

MN: i use these words pretty often on my own.

MN: you can ask the other trolls if you want.

DT: --)- you're risking other trolls using your incredibly offensive words, you know

DT: --)- perhaps to other humans even

DT: --)- or aren' you concerned about that

MN: im hoping that they have the good sense to keep it between trolls and me.

MN: i mean i did tell you that novices like you

MN: should stick with

MN: pussy and cock.

MN: didnt i.

MN: also for bing-bongs you might want to go with

MN: tits.

DT: --)- right

DT: --)- strange that humans and trolls both have 'tits'

DT: --)- they must function differently

MN: how do yours function.

MN: i assume not at all

MN: considering

MN: insects.

DT: --)- they're secondary sex characteristics for identification of females and apparently produce some hormones unique to their sex

DT: --)- how do human 'tits' function

MN: they jiggle and bounce and are fun to play with and if you rub the nipples youll make the girl moan.

MN: also theyre used to produce milk or some shit.

MN: to feed the babies.

DT: --)- uh

DT: --)- alright

MN: thats their primary focus i think.

DT: --)- feeding grubs

DT: --)- okay

MN: no infants.

DT: --)- right, right I forgot

MN: thats what we call them at least.

DT: --)- feeding fetuses

MN: they look like

MN: not fetuses.

DT: --)- what

MN: thats what you call them when theyre in the womb.

DT: --)- one of you called them fetuses

MN: when theyre out, theyre infants or babies.

DT: --)- huh

MN: wait let me

MN: draw you a guide.

MN: http://i.imgur.com/kZZjoK5.png

MN: there.

MN: any questions.

MN: im open to em.

DT: --)- wow

DT: --)- look at all these extremely technical terms

DT: --)- I can just feel the knowledge flooding in

MN: shut up i was making it accessible.

DT: --)- ha

DT: --)- it's cool

DT: --)- I like it

DT: --)- maybe I'll save it and share it with some of my species

MN: next time someone asks me how our reproduction works.

MN: telling you.

MN: it could come in handy.

DT: --)- hell, this is probably the most trolls have known about human biology in eons

DT: --)- this shit is going in a textbook bobi

MN: i hope so.

DT: --)- I hope you realize that

MN: better not cut out my comment about her bing-bongs.

MN: that shit is important.

DT: --)- who would I be to cut out the bing bong comment

MN: only a moron would.

DT: --)- obviously

MN: theyre there for science.

DT: --)- ha

DT: --)- alright I gotta split

MN: oh right shit

MN: i did just

DT: --)- I should talk to my stupid server if he's around

MN: come to you out of fucking nowhere.

MN: yeah

MN: i should do the same.

DT: --)- yeah

MN: you get him to give you your shit.

MN: B\

MN: then maybe we could get somewhere.

DT: --)- if he drags his ass online

DT: --)- but yeah

MN: we can only pray.

DT: --)- I'll send you the codes later

MN: yeah dont sweat it

MN: i should

MN: see if theres another way

MN: and if not ill go kill some imps.

MN: later, glacis.

DT: --)- right

DT: --)- later

-- dauntlessTracker [DT] ceased pestering mintNewtons [MN] at 21:28 --

#glacis #act 1 #medium

incisivemiscreant-deactivated20

> Confirm you are an idiot with MN

#andi #ic #pc #act 1 #medium

incisivemiscreant-deactivated20

> Answer the Piss Drinker

#andi #act one #medium #pc #ic

in which lonami meets a new faggot.

-- tidalIdol [TI] began pestering mintNewtons [MN] at 12:54 --

TI: Hi Hi! POP SENS@TiON LON@Mi G@L@Mi HERE

TI: ☆～（ゝ。∂）

MN: wow.

MN: when you put "idol" in your name there

MN: you werent fucking around.

TI: UH OF COURSE NOT!

MN: why do trolls even have idols.

MN: i thought that was just an asian thing.

TI: @ND iF @NYONE ELSE PUT iDOL iN THEiR TROLLT@G i WOULD PROB@BLY H@VE THEM @RRESTED

MN: and i dont think you guys have an asia.

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: well sorry but there are other idols out there.

TI: iS @N @Si@N LiKE @ GERM@N?

MN: so sorry to inform you.

TI: OR @N @MERiC@N?

TI: 【・ヘ・?】

MN: uh.

MN: im going to say yes.

MN: even though thats probably breaking some culture rules there.

MN: but yes its a regional human subdivision or some shit.

MN: also can you not

MN: use

MN: those fucking

MN: faces

MN: around me.

MN: holy shit what the fuck even is that.

TI: BUT THEYRE SO SUPER DUPER CUTE!

TI: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

MN: no theyre so super duper fucking stupid.

TI: ( ・◇・)？

TI: UH OK YOURE WRONG!

MN: especially that last one with the stars.

MN: that one is the worst.

MN: use that again and i wont talk to you anymore. B]

TI: HW@@@H? THE ST@RS @RE THE BEST P@RT!

MN: ...

MN: *B\

TI: ヽ(｀⌒´メ)ノ

MN: okay what the fuck is that even.

TI: WHY @RE @LL YOU HUM@NS EiTHER ON DRUGS OR ME@N

TI: EXCEPT FOR ONE OF YOU

MN: i wouldnt be so mean if you werent being such a faggot.

TI: H@NK-RiN W@S THE BEST HUM@N!

TI: @ND YOURE PROB@BLY UM

MN: ah.

TI: THE WORST

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: ha ha ha.

MN: oh my god hank is the best human.

MN: ok now i know

MN: the level of stupid

MN: i am dealing with here.

MN: (no offense hank.)

TI: HW@@@H? NO HES GRE@T!

TI: THE OTHER ONE SPOKE GiBBERiSH SOMETiMES @ND THE OTHER W@S ON DRUGS

TI: i M@DE @ SONG FOR HiM TO GET HiM TO STOP

MN: well actually compared to stoner idiot and princess.

TI: DO YOU W@NN@ HELP WiTH MY MUSiC ViDEO?

MN: maybe he is the best i dont fucking know.

MN: and no

MN: i dont

MN: want to help you

MN: with your

MN: fucking

MN: music video

MN: you stupid fucking idol.

TI: WHY NOT? iTS @ ONCE iN @ LiFETiME CH@NCE1

MN: but hey i have a question.

TI: UH OK!

TI: @NYTHiNG FOR THE PUBLiC

TI: ☆～（ゝ。∂）

MN: ive had enough once in a lifetime chances for one day.

MN: anyway.

MN: youre an idol.

MN: and you do that whole

MN: a = @

MN: and I = i thing

MN: do you

TI: YES! iSNT iT CUTE?

MN: by chance

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: watch the iDOLM@STER.

TI: UM

TI: 【・ヘ・?】

TI: WH@T?

TI: iS TH@T SOME SORT OF MOViE?

MN: are you telling me that this is completely "original" on your part.

MN: and you have not

MN: heard of

MN: the iDOLM@STER

MN: at all.

TI: i H@VENT? UM

TI: THiS iS @N @Mi-@Mi-RiN SPECi@LTY!

MN: its a show about a bunch of idols who are all gay and act like they want to kiss each other.

MN: it was popular on earth.

MN: i liked it anyway.

TI: OK WEiRD WORD @SiDE OBViOUSLY THEY COULDNT BE RE@L iDOLS BEC@USE

TI: RE@L iDOLS H@VE THEiR LiP ViRGiNiTiES

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: their WHAT.

TI: i JUST S@iD DO YOU H@VE EYES???

MN: and WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FACE EVEN.

MN: no i dont you caught me im fucking blind.

TI: iTS @ DiS@PPOiNTED iN MN F@CE!

TI: @H RE@LLY? GOSH iM SORRY! (´∩｀。)

MN: of course i have eyes you lousy faggot its just what you said makes no fucking sense.

MN: "lip virginities."

MN: how the fuck do you lose that do you EAT jesus FUCK.

TI: UM WEVE NEVER BEEN KiSSED!

TI: UH NO YOU KiSS!

TI: DUH!

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: have you ever kissed your mom

MN: or lusus or whatever.

MN: or the face of a sweet, sweet chihaya.

TI: TH@T DOESNT COUNT!

MN: ah-ah-ah.

TI: @ND @ WH@T?

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: thats like saying that anal doesnt count.

MN: or fingering doesnt count.

MN: it totally counts and you dont have your lip virginity

MN: if that was ever a fucking thing.

MN: so it seems that you have lost it and you cant be a real idol either.

MN: the horror.

TI: NO OK YOUR MOM DOESNT COUNT @ND SHE WOULDVE TOLD ME iF iT COUNTED

TI: BEC@USE SHE LOVES ME

TI: SO CHECKM@TE

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: no she does count and she didnt tell you to spare your feelings

MN: which are

MN: obviouslt

MN: *obiviouslt

MN: *chpouf

MN: *obcioutl

MN: *obcilutls

MN: *obvioulst

MN: *OBVIOUSLY

MN: too feeble for your own good.

MN: she was trying to do you a favor.

MN: but

TI: UM "CHPOUF" W@SNT EVEN CLOSE

MN: now the truth is out

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: you are

MN: not an idol.

TI: HELPFUL HiNTS FROM @Mi-RiN!

MN: you are only

MN: a

MN: chihaya.

TI: WH@@@? NO iM @ RE@L iDOL i H@VE PL@TiNUM RECORDS @ND MOViES @ND EVERYTHiNG!

TI: i PROTOTYPED MY RECORD WiTH MY MOM @ND EVERYTHiNG

MN: nope.

MN: those lips??

MN: not virgins.

MN: cant be an idol

MN: sorry.

MN: youre just chihaya.

TI: WH@TS @ CHiH@Y@

MN: you may have been a fake idol.

TI: iS iT @ HUM@N iNSULT?

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: no its a faggot wanna be idol who hangs around a lot of prettier idols and just tries too hard.

MN: but she will

MN: never be as cute as the rest.

TI: YOURE SO ME@N i @M TOO @N iDOL (┳◇┳)

MN: her boobs arent the right size

MN: her face is funny

MN: her hair is funny

MN: she doesnt have her lip virginity

MN: shes gay.

MN: youre just a chihaya.

TI: HW@@@? NO i LOOK GRE@T STOP LYiNG

MN: nope.

TI: iM THE BEST iDOL iN @LTERNi@!

MN: sorry just telling it how it is.

TI: i M@DE iDOLS @ THiNG!

MN: you were the best wanna be idol.

TI: NO TH@TS THE REST!

TI: POSERS!

MN: see if you made them a thing you cant actually be an idol.

TI: iM THE BEST iDOL @ND TH@TS FiN@L

MN: nope youre just chihaya.

MN: so.

TI: ╭(๑¯д¯๑)╮NO TH@T M@KES THEM EVEN MORE RE@L

MN: literally the worst idol.

MN: ever.

MN: that ever breathed.

TI: BEC@USE iM THE BEST OK DO YOU KNOW WHO YOURE T@LKiNG TO????

MN: im talking to chihaya duh.

TI: @ND CHECKM@TE i DONT BRE@THE USU@LLY i FiLTER

TI: SO GOTCH@

MN: goddamnit trolls are fucking weird.

MN: fine you are the worst idol who ever filtered.

TI: @ND STOP C@LLiNG ME CHiH@Y@ TH@TS STUPiD

TI: UGH YOURE SO ME@N!

TI: YOURE BEYOND THE WORST!

MN: its not stupid its just what you are.

MN: now.

MN: dont you want to

MN: disconnect from me

MN: and never talk to me again.

MN: or at least for another hour.

TI: NO

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: goddamnit.

TI: iM SUPPOSED TO HELP @LL OF MY SUBJECTS!

TI: @ND i W@NTED TO TELL YOU OUR G@ME PL@N!

MN: well it would really help me

MN: if you

TI: iN ORDER OF iMPORT@NCE

MN: stopped talking to me

MN: im busy, faggot.

TI: HW@@@H?

TI: WH@T @RE YOU DOiNG?

MN: figuring out this fucking game.

MN: duh.

MN: trying to save dead kid.

TI: WHO@!!! YOURE DOiNG NUMBER ONE @ND TWO @T THE S@ME TiME!

MN: i dont have time for chihayas.

TI: NUMBER THREE iS MY MUSiC ViDEO

MN: yes this is because im fucking great.

MN: ok but

MN: no one is

MN: going to do that.

MN: so scratch that right off.

MN: right now.

MN: B\

TI: TH@TS NOT TRUE DEMON GUY @ND H@NK-RiN @RE iN!

MN: DEMON GUY.

MN: you shitting me.

TI: HES MY @GENT

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: oooh demon you just went

MN: right down

TI: BEC@USE @LL MY OTHER ONES @RE DE@D

MN: in my books.

MN: ok im ignoring that.

TI: NO HES COOL!

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: dont you idols

MN: use

MN: producers.

MN: not agents.

MN: B\

TI: UM YOU C@N H@VE BOTH?

TI: DUH!

MN: chihaya you are fucking horrible at this.

MN: literally

TI: @GENTS M@KE SURE THE PUBLiC SEES YOUR THiNGS

MN: the worst agent ever.

TI: @ND M@KE SURE TH@T YOU GET ROLES

MN: or idol.

MN: whatever.

TI: PRODUCERS KiND OF SET THiNGS UP @ND M@KE THiNGS NiCER FOR YOU

MN: you suck and should leave me the fuck alone.

TI: @ND GiVE YOU @ PL@CE TO ST@Y iF YOURE NOT @ CUTE HEiRESS

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: so i can

MN: finish this out

TI: NO!!!

TI: i NEED TO BE @ P@RT OF iT

MN: id think that a producer is more useful than a fucking agent

MN: given our situation.

MN: B\

TI: OH

TI: YOURE PROB@BLY RiGHT

TI: (´∩｀。)

TI: iLL H@VE TO @SK HiM TO CH@NGE PROFESSiONS

TI: DO YOU THiNK HELL MiND?

MN: how the fuck should i know.

TI: @LSO SiNCE YOURE DOiNG THE FiRST TWO PRiORiTiES YOU MiGHT @S WELL HELP WiTH MY MUSiC ViDEO

MN: i thought i knew him.

TI: iTS TO GET @B-RiN TO STOP DOiNG DRUGS!

MN: and then he pulled this shit on me.

MN: i cant believe you, demon.

MN: i thought what we had

MN: was

MN: special.

TI: OK TH@TS RUDE YOURE NOT EVEN T@LKiNG TO HiM

TI: YOURE T@LKiNG TO ME

TI: SO STOP T@LKiNG TO HiM iN OUR CONVERS@TiON

TI: HES NOT HERE

TI: DUH

MN: no i think im

MN: going to carry out

MN: a full conversation

MN: with him

MN: right here.

MN: demon-sama,

MN: you have bashed my kokoro in

MN: with a rusty knife.

TI: MN YOURE @BSOLUTELY @WFUL @ND i DONT LiKE YOU VERY MUCH!

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: how?

MN: why would you do this to me?

MN: demon-sama... i thought... what was between us....

MN: our lip virginities....

TI: OK YOURE NOT EVEN RE@LLY DYiNG

TI: ...

MN: oh hwaaaaaa.

TI: UNFORTUN@TELY

TI: ☆～（ゝ。∂）

MN: i cannot bear this

MN: any longer.

MN: you have sided with the idol over me?

MN: you have agreed to her bratty, stupid chihaya ways?

MN: why side with that faggot, when i am here, already beside you?

MN: my kokoro burns.

MN: and yearns.

MN: the cherry blossoms fall.

MN: as do my tears.

TI: OK YOURE SPE@KiNG GiBBERiSH LiKE CC-RiN

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: no im speaking japanese im really good at it.

TI: WHY @RE YOU HUM@NS SO WEiRD LiKE @LL OF YOU @RE @WFUL!

MN: hmmm.

MN: well lets consider this.

MN: ive talked to humans and were not all awful.

MN: so

MN: the only common denominator is you.

MN: therefore.

MN: its probably you

TI: UM TH@TS NOT EVEN TRUE

MN: who is awful.

TI: iM GRE@T

TI: STUPiD

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: no.

MN: im sorry chihaya.

TI: iM VERY NiCE @ND KiND @ND HERE TO HELP iN @ FUNLOViNG M@NNER!

TI: ☆～（ゝ。∂）

MN: but you are pretty fucking stupid.

MN: and not nice.

TI: HW@@@? NO iM NOT!

MN: you were upset that i wasnt dying.

MN: thats not nice.

TI: WELL YOURE NOT @CTiNG NiCE

TI: YOURE NOT T@LKiNG TO ME WHiLE iM HERE

TI: YOURE T@LKiNG TO DEMON GUY

MN: maybe id act nice if you werent such a tryhard.

TI: DEMON GUY iSNT HERE STUPiD!

MN: well a conversation with a guy who isnt here is

MN: more riveting

MN: than you.

MN: so

MN: you might want to

MN: get that checked out.

TI: HW@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@H?

TI: TH@TS NOT EVEN TRUE STOP BEiNG ME@N!

TI: iM GONN@ TELL MY MOM!

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: baaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.

MN: cry more faggot.

MN: tell your mom all you want i literally dont care.

TI: WHY DO YOU KEEP USiNG TH@T WORD?

MN: you whiny chihaya.

TI: @ND UH MY MOM WiLL PROB@BLY KiLL YOU SO

TI: THERE

MN: no she probably wont.

TI: YES SHE WiLL!

MN: no she wont.

MN: B\

TI: YES SHE WiLL SHES DONE iT BEFORE!

TI: TO RUDE PEOPLE

MN: oh im soooo scared.

MN: come at me fag-mom.

MN: B\

TI: YOU JUST USE @LL THESE WORDS @ND i DONT KNOW WH@T THEY ME@N SO YOURE DUMB

MN: isnt she just a sprite.

TI: KNOW YOUR @UDiENCE

TI: WELL...

TI: YES

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: so yeah im safe

TI: NO YOURE NOT!

MN: stop threatening people with shit you cant make good on.

MN: its just stupid.

MN: like you.

MN: oooooh.

TI: OK TH@T HURT MY FEELiNGS

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: did it really.

MN: seriously lonami take a joke.

MN: but ok what did you even come here to bother me with.

TI: WHY @RE YOU SO ME@N TO ME i JUST W@NN@ BE FRiENDS (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

MN: like i said im busy.

TI: OH @ND iM KiND OF LOST

MN: not mean, just busy.

TI: TH@TS KiND@ WHY i W@S T@LKiNG TO YOU

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: i told you

MN: that im

MN: busy

MN: and i dont

MN: want to talk

MN: to anyone

MN: because im kind of

MN: on a time constraint here

TI: BUT YOU SHOULD M@KE @N EXCEPTiON FOR ME (╯︵╰,)

MN: and youre especially fucking bothersome.

MN: no.

TI: HEY!

TI: .・゜゜・（／。＼）・゜゜・．

TI: BUT iM SC@RED @ND CONFUSED @ND i DONT W@NN@ T@LK TO MY SERVER OR CLiENT FOR HELP

MN: uggggggggggggh.

MN: what do you

MN: ned

MN: help

MN: with.

MN: *ned

MN: (ned

MN: *ned

MN: (*need

TI: *NEED

TI: ☆～（ゝ。∂）

MN: **NEED

MN: fucked up the asterick.

TI: iLL HELP YOU WiTH SPELLiNG @ND YOULL HELP ME WiTH THE G@ME!

TI: DE@L?

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: no.

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: but ill help you with the game anyway.

MN: what do you need to know.

TI: H@PPY!

TI: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

MN: stop that.

TI: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

MN: no.

TI: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

MN: B\

TI: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

MN: youre making me

TI: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

MN: regret this

TI: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

MN: a lot.

MN: you whiny

MN: fucking

MN: chihaya.

TI: OK i WONT DO iT @NYMORE

MN: good.

TI: T@KE @ JOKE MN-RiN!

TI: ☆～（ゝ。∂）

MN: thanks.

MN: no.

MN: thats not a joke

MN: thats a shitty

MN: horrible face

MN: that burns my eyes.

TI: NO iTS CUTE

MN: get it out.

MN: no it sucks.

TI: (´Ａ｀。)

MN: i still dont know what the fuck that is.

MN: but ok i do not have time for this.

MN: what the fuck do you need lonami.

TI: OK! BUT UM OK i W@LKED OUTSiDE RiGHT @ND iTS BRiGHT @ND iT SMELLS B@D

TI: @LSO THERE @RE W@LKiNG OCTOPUS PEOPLE WHiCH iS LiKE

TI: SUPER WEiRD??

TI: OCTOPUS DONT W@LK

MN: can you talk to them.

TI: 【・ヘ・?】

MN: dont worry about it.

TI: i H@VENT TRiED1

MN: try to.

MN: they have information about your land.

TI: BUT WH@T iF THEY GET M@D @T ME iM KiND@ SC@RED

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: also talk to your sprite about it.

MN: no the consorts are really kind of

MN: ...

MN: nice.

TI: OH? MY MOM? (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: usually.

MN: dont worry about it.

MN: ok yes your mom.

MN: ask your mom if theyre nice.

MN: if it helps.

TI: WHY WOULD MY MOM KNOW?

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: because shes a game construct now.

MN: she knows a lot

MN: about the game.

TI: HW@@@H?

MN: just know that she knows everything.

MN: and shell tell you things if you ask.

MN: so ask.

TI: OK i HOPE TH@T MY MOMS VOiCE STiLL iSNT LETH@L

TI: TO MOST THiNGS

TI: UM

TI: M@YBE WE C@N WHiSPER TO E@CH OTHER @G@iN LiKE @ LiTTLE SLEEPOVER P@RTY

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: yes that would be fun.

MN: do that.

MN: in fact do that right now.

MN: and stop talking to me.

MN: because she would be

MN: much better

MN: at this

MN: than i am.

TI: (´∩｀。)

TI: OK

TI: BUT

TI: YOURE STiLL NOT OFF THE HOOK!

TI: WERE STiLL NOT FRiENDS YET!

TI: BUT i W@NN@ BE FRiENDS!

MN: lol.

MN: ok.

TI: DONT L@UGH OUT LOUD @T ME THiS iS SERiOUS

MN: lmao.

TI: @ND NO L@UGHiNG YOUR...

MN: ok chihaya.

TI: BUM

TI: OFF

MN: my bum.

TI: YE@H!

TI: (︶︹︺)

MN: my bum-bum you mean.

TI: YES YOUR BUM-BUM!

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

TI: TH@TS SURPRiSiNGLY CUTE OF YOU, MN-RiN!

MN: ha ha i just made you say the dirtiest word for a human butt.

MN: that there is.

TI: HW@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@H?

TI: GODS WHY WOULD YOU DO TH@T TO ME?!?!?

TI: ・゜゜・（／。＼）・゜゜・．

MN: because its easy and really funny.

MN: duh.

TI: i C@NT BELiEVE YOU DiD TH@T TO ME WERE SUPPOSED TO BE FRiENDS!

TI: (´；д；`)

MN: no were not.

MN: you said so yourself we are not friends chihaya.

MN: B\

TI: YES WE @RE i S@iD SO SO WERE SUPPOSED TO BE!

TI: EVENTU@LLY

TI: @ND THiS iS @ POOPY W@Y TO ST@RT OFF OUR FRiENDSHiP!

TI: (＊0＊☆～（ゝ。∂）

TI: SHOOT MY CUTE WiNK CENSOR GOT iN THE W@Y @G@iN

TI: (´∩｀。)

TI: (＊0＊; )

MN: well thats great because i dont actually want to be friends with you.

MN: so.

MN: "checkmate."

MN: (lol.)

TI: HW@H? NO i DONT C@RE WH@T YOU W@NT TH@T ONLY WORKS iF iM S@YiNG iT

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: no it works if i make an effort to not be friends with you so.

MN: B\

MN: there you go.

TI: iM NOT GONN@ LET TH@T H@PPEN SO

TI: GOTCH@

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: well i will so.

MN: whatever.

MN: im not fighting with you anymore.

MN: ok is there anything else

MN: you need from me.

MN: B\

TI: UM!

TI: WH@TS YOUR N@ME?

MN: besides getting elsu to stop being such a stoner faggot.

MN: but unfortunately

MN: that will not happen.

MN: so i wont try.

MN: B\

TI: ELSU?

MN: elsu.

TI: 【・ヘ・?】?

TI: THE DRUG GUY?

MN: yes.

TI: TH@TS HiS N@ME?

MN: yup.

TI: HE NEVER TOLD ME!

MN: oops.

MN: well now hes going to

MN: want my head.

TI: i DONT SEE WHY BUT OK!

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: maybe if i give him a blunt

MN: hell forget it was me.

MN: yes this seems like a good idea.

TI: NO WERE TRYiNG TO GET HiM TO STOP!

MN: YOU'RE trying to get him to stop.

MN: i dont care so.

TI: i M@DE @ SONG @ND EVERYTHiNG

TI: (´∩｀。)

TI: DONT HURT MY EFFORTS

MN: i bet it sucks so.

TI: NO iTS GRE@T

TI: LiKE @LL MY OTHER SONGS

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: chihaya.

TI: 【・ヘ・?】

MN: you are literally the worst idol ever.

MN: i bet its horrible.

MN: B\

MN: but whatever.

TI: TH@TS NOT EVEN TRUE!

MN: no it is.

MN: i know these things.

MN: humans just

MN: know things.

TI: i BET YOU WOULD LiKE MY MUSiC!

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: lmao no.

TI: YES YOU WOULD!!!!!

TI: (๑╹っ╹๑)

TI: i BET MY SECOND D@NCE STUDiO ON iT!

MN: but not your first??

MN: weak.

MN: not even a good bet.

TI: MY FiRST ONE GOT DESTROYED SO

TI: GOTCH@

MN: no im better than second.

TI: @ND ELSU-RiN DiDNT FiX iT (´∩｀。)

MN: yeah that sounds about right.

MN: i dont think you should

MN: ever hope

MN: for it to be

MN: functional again.

TI: i KiND@ DONT W@NT HiM TO TOUCH iT HELL M@KE iT WORSE

TI: i THiNK

TI: OH TH@T W@S ME@N! DONT TELL HiM i S@iD TH@T

TI: ☆～（ゝ。∂）

MN: im gonna.

TI: NO!!

MN: as soon as i see him.

MN: "hey stoner faggot"

TI: MN-RiN YOURE @WFUL! (´∩｀。)

MN: "chihaya said a nasty thing about you."

TI: OK TH@TS NOT EVEN MY N@ME

TI: STOP C@LLiNG ME TH@T!

MN: maybe you shouldnt be spreading shit about people.

MN: make me.

TI: iM NOT!!!1

MN: !1!111!!

TI: !!!!!!!!!!1!

TI: MY SHiFT KEY GETS BROKEN SOMETiMES

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: lol.

TI: i USE iT @ LOT FOR MY QUiRK

MN: wow so exhausting.

TI: iT iS!! MY FiNGERS GET CR@MPS SOMETiMES

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: oh the horror.

MN: i cant even imagine.

MN: FINGER CRAMPS wow what a rough life you lead.

TI: ٩(×̯×)۶

TI: i KNOW!

TI: BUT MN-RiN ONE MORE THiNG TH@T i @LRE@DY @SKED FOR @ND iLL LE@VE YOU @LONE

TI: i @SKED FOR YOUR N@ME!

MN: shit.

TI: UM??? TH@TS NOT @N @NSWER

MN: seeing as you are chihaya.

MN: you can call me makoto.

TI: NO TH@TS NOT YOUR N@ME i KNOW iT!

TI: BEC@USE CHiH@Y@S NOT MY N@ME

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: uh its the name im giving you.

MN: come on it can be a fun thing

MN: between us

MN: calling each other fake iDOLM@STER names.

MN: yes.

MN: no.

MN: ok.

MN: im bobi, at any rate.

TI: WELL i JUST W@NTED YOUR RE@L N@ME TH@TS @LL, BOBi-RiN!

TI: BUT WE C@N USE FUN N@MES TOO!

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: fair enough.

MN: dont call me that, though.

MN: bobi-rin.

MN: no.

TI: BUT iTS SO CUTE!

TI: @ND iM LON@-RiN @ND @Mi-@Mi @ND @Mi-RiN TO MY F@NS!

MN: no.

TI: SO iTS @ W@Y OF YOU BEiNG CUTE TOO!

MN: its not cute its stupid and i dont want to be cute.

MN: B\

TI: OK...

TI: ....

TI: BOBi....

TI: ....

TI: RiN!

TI: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆

MN: shut the fuck up.

TI: (´∩｀。)

MN: will you please

MN: x out of this

MN: i need to get back to work.

MN: B\

TI: OK iLL BE THE BiG GiRL @ND LE@VE FiRST

MN: thanks.

TI: BUT iT W@S GOOD TO SEE OUR POTENTi@L FRiENDSHiP FLOURiSH!

TI: ☆～（ゝ。∂）

MN: no it was not and were not even close to being friends.

MN: you stupid faggot.

TI: WH@T DOES F@GGOT ME@N

TI: 【・ヘ・?】

MN: it means annoying, flamboyant, shithead person.

TI: (´∩｀。)

TI: TH@TS NOT NiCE @ND NOT TRUE!

TI: iM GONN@ M@KE BELiEVE LiKE iT ME@NS CUTE SUPER FRiEND!

MN: yes it is true now puh-leeeze x out of here lonami.

MN: no.

MN: no no no you are not.

TI: TH@NKS, F@GGOT BOBi-RiN!

TI: BYE BYE!

TI: (⌒▽⌒)☆

MN: STOP.

-- tidalIdol [TI] ceased pestering mintNewtons [MN] at 13:59 --

#act one #medium #ic #lonami

in which glacis and bobi talk a lot but only reveal their names at the end.

typical.

#glacis #ic #pesterchum #medium

bombasticbrave

==>Answer mintNewtons

#hank #ic #medium #pesterchum

fatalisticfortune

Bobi gets to know Carada, and teaches her the meaning of the word “faggot”.

[09:48] — mintNewtons [MN] began trolling fatalisticFortune [FF] at 21:48 —

#pesterchum #act one #carada

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a man chooses.