Knowing who it was on the other end of the interaction was enough for Selin to immediately calm down and come to her senses. Leaning all her weight onto one side of her leg, the she-wolf crossed her arms and cleared her throat as she casted her gaze downwards and took a moment to take a breather. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply and huffed an exhale before glancing back up to meet the other womanâs gaze. âHi.â she greeted, going off of Saraâs intentions for being here. When her best friend hit her with what felt like a million dollar question, Sel immediately blurted out, ââI donât know.âÂ
At times, her own solitude was the answer to everything. Shutting down and completely being tied to only herself and her own sentiments was sometimes the way to go. However, because of Saraâs efforts and the fact that the other had seen her at her lowest low, the question of being alone or not was a hard one to answer. Sighing heavily, she shook her head and replied with, âYou can stay.â She found comfort in her presence after all as Sara was one of the few people who could get her out of a rut.
âSorry, thereâs been a lot on my mind.â Before she could beat her to it, the athlete shrugged and added, âNot sure what to tell you, but Iâm sure Iâll be alrightâŠI mean whatâs the worst that can happen to me?â Probably death, which she was always open to. However, she preferred not to disclose that and instead, tried to steer the conversation onto a positive note. âAre you out here for a break? Itâs nice no?âŠVery sereneâŠpeaceful even.â
If Sara didnât know better, she would probably let the voices in her head trick her into thinking that Selin was making the utmost effort into allowing the other woman to remain in her company. It wasnât like that. She told herself. It was not like that. They both had gone through a lot in their lives, from what it seemed, and they hadnât even reached their thirties yet. Selin more than Sara had--though, this was not a competition. And it would not be turned into one.
Upon hearing there was a lot in her friendâs mind, Sara nodded slowly. She understood the feeling. It was overwhelming sometimes. Not to be able to shut oneâs brain off. Placing her shoes on the sand, Sara brushed her hands behind her dress and held it close to her body as she sat down on her converse shoes, not really caring about getting grains on her clothes, but not making an effort to get them dirty either. âIs it something youâd like to talk to me about?â She offered instead. Sara knew how it easy it was for Selin to shut everyone out. To mistake her lonesome for independence. They often argues about that. Her therapist had taught her ways to offer help without actually overstepping anyoneâs boundaries, so that was what she often tried with Selin.
The womanâs questions made Sara nod. Her eyelids fluttered closed while a cool breeze hit her face, causing the woman to wrap her cardigan closer to her body. âI am. The seaside here reminds me of home, for some reason.â And she bit her tongue, before saying anything about thinking of moving back to San Francisco. It was just an idea, not a decision made. âIâve just been feeling nostalgic lately.â