Who knew that it was this simple!
I just had to enter a competition to paint daily for a month to start finding my artistic confidence and a personal voice!
Itโs been over 10 years since I properly took a paintbrush or a pencil to paint or draw something! And when I started last year, to consider being a full-time artist, I was stuckโฆ not in creativity or ability to draw or paint something that didnโt look like a blobโฆ but stuck with fear, uncertainty, non-belief, depression & anxiety.
Truthfully speaking, I donโt believe in myself! And yet I really, really want to because I know I have greatness in me! Yet, thereโs this heavy shadow or weight thatโs cloudy and itโs always there in the background, my inner critic, whispering - โyouโre not good enough to do itโ, โyouโre a nobody, who should care what you have to say, think or do?!โ, โโฆ and what if it doesnโt work and youโve wasted all this time, energy & money for nothing are you really going to put yourself & your family through this?!โ, โyouโre not a professional artist! You didnโt even go to study art! You wonโt be able to build your community who will invest in you and your art!โ.
For years Iโve been arguing with myself about what is right, wrong and what is the best thing to do to achieve the outcome I desire with least amount of bad consequences! I am tired of listening to my fears and worries!!!
Last year, I took actions that brought me to where I am today, because I finally chose to stand up for myself. I started gently brushing the negative thoughts aside โ it isnโt always easy, but each time it becomes a bit easier, because I remember how good it felt the last time. And thatโs what helps me do it again.
When I got back into painting I kept encouraging myself to improve my skills by being consistent and practicing. However, it wasnโt that easy to do, I always had some excuses because I was afraid to make mistakes or not make the piece the way I envisaged it, or have the wrong order of colours placed on the painting to achieve what I want or even just wasting paints! Thereโs ALWAYs something! ๐ตโ๐ซ๐คฏ it stops me from doing anything!
So when my friend told me on the 1st of January 2026, that she has entered an art competition to paint from life every single day and post it for the month of January 2026, I immediately registered without hesitation! I said YES I want to do this as well! Thankfully the last day of entry was 1st of January! So I entered, got accepted, and immediately went to find something to paint! I only had a few hours left before midnight but I managed to sketch out the painting I would paint the next day!
It felt sooo exciting! Made me feel so alive! I thought that this is perfect for me to practice art everyday to become consistent and get a routine going! It would allow me to look at the object I am painting ( forgot to describe that you must paint from life and post the result on social media without any days missing ) and truly look at the lighting ( thatโs constantly changingโฆ so not easy as the eye is constantly being fooled! ) the shapes and proportions, the colours etc! It was perfect for me to start from the basics!
When I entered the competition, I didnโt think it would be such a struggle to have something every day. To stay dedicated and consistent with your work is hard โ finding an object, finding the time, and even finding the feeling to paint every single day.
So Iโm truly grateful to have something to be accountable to. Without it, I would definitely have found an excuse to stop. But knowing that others see my work every day and are waiting to see what I do next makes me feel accountable to keep going โ and thatโs exactly the push I need to get into a routine.
Yet when I started, I didnโt think it would lead me hereโฆ I have faced so many fears in the last 2 weeks and pushed myself to do the best I can in the moment ( even yesterday I was upset how my lavender didnโt turn out how I desired it to but I still did it and posted it and might go back with fresh eyes to fix it later! And thatโs okay ๐๐ผ) and look where I have ended up now!
I tried different techniques and mediums, different subject matters and style of painting! I found out that the big fear to use a palette knife is actually one of my favourite ways to express myself! I feel like a happy, giddy child who is so proud and happy with herself that she wants to celebrate everyday!
It even brought me closer to my daughter! We always had an interest in making art together but now we are both excited to create and to help each other in the process!
The other day I saw a lady talk about buying art off off people and that lead me to hear about ACEOs ( Art Cards, Editions and Originals ). Itโs like trading cards but for artists and collectors! Thereโs a huge community out there that was established in the early 2000โs. Itโs small cards made by artists of their own miniature art!
When I heard this I thought wow thatโs exactly what I want to do as well as painting big canvases! Sooo I was so excited I told my daughter and the two of us made plans to make our own! She will start making hers and bring to school to try see if other people would like to make art cards and start trading! Absolutely love this idea for her! ๐
So imagine! After struggling to be consistent and not believing in myself this challenge has truly been a gift from above for me!
Today I painted this miniature painting of 2.5 x 3.5 inches! Itโs of a gift I received from my good friend who visited Thailand! As I had turquoise oil paints left from yesterday this bracelet caught my eye and I had to paint it! It turned out so so beautiful! You should see it in real life itโs so precious and delicate! I absolutely adore it ๐ฅน๐ฅฐ
Every day it feels a little easier to sit down and paint or draw something. I feel so proud and grateful. I hope to continue in this spirit, and I hope and pray that this feeling of calm serenity will stay with me forever ๐
P.S. also sharing my daughterโs creations that she made alongside me! While I created one she created all of these! ๐ฅน๐ I absolutely love the Angel one! And Rumi! Ahhh they are all so so cute!!! ๐
