Rachel. Old-ish. I like TV shows, cats, and car racing. Currently stuck in the Pitt. Header by @divorcedfranklangdon; icon by @mateo-diaz maplemaplemaple on ao3
My name is Rachel (she/her), and I'm also maplemaplemaple on Ao3. This is my main and only blog, and the username is from the song The Boy in the Bubble by Paul Simon.
I post almost all of my writing over on Ao3, but I also use the tag #my writing here to organize it.
My asks are always open if you want to chat, ask me questions, give prompts, or speculate wildly about any of the fandoms you see me posting about!
Thank you for being here, it really means a lot, and if you read this whole thing I love you <3
***disclaimer that this is not aimed at anyone in particular, this is something I noticed maybe a year ago and have been discussing in dms for a couple of months. ***
I have noticed over the past few months that there is a significant contingent of this fandom that have a fear of reading AUs for Kingdon, or they at least have a reluctance to interact with AU fics which I think is a real shame.
There is only so much that can be explored in the canon world with the guardrails set in place by the show. This can be circumvented in AU! Dynamics can be twisted and we can explore these characters in deeper, more tangible ways! AND IT’S FUN! At its core, an AU removes these barriers and puts up new ones. It requires so much skill on behalf of the author to create this new world but to also stay true to the ship we know and love, and I think a well crafted AU is one of the delights of fandom. This strict adherence to canon reads to me as a lack of imagination and curiosity about how unique Mel and Frank’s dynamic is and personally? I think that’s sad. Sorry! Canon is not the be all end all. To write fic is not to be proven right, and it's not solely to just continue canon. At its core the purpose is transformative.
I’ve also been thinking about the lack of AUs a lot recently because I think it’s also a factor in how a lot of people received s2 of the show. I have noticed some people saying they only read canon-compliant fic and have no interest in any AUs which IN MY OPINION (!!) skews their perspective on what canon actually is, and they’re unable to separate the idealised version of the ship from canon. So at several points in s2 people would say they were disappointed in certain Kingdon scenes because it wasn’t blatantly shippy holding hands heart eyes, whereas if they actually removed the characters and their dynamic from the context of the show they’d be able to understand how the interactions we did get were so fantastic for Kingdon. It becomes this vicious cycle of letting fic inform your view of canon characters and then getting mad when said characters are not like they were in fic. That’s not how it works I’m afraid!
A few months back I decided to do some digging: did you know that out of the top ONE HUNDRED Kingdon fics sorted by kudos, only ONE is a total AU. The fact that for a lot of writers their AU fics statistically fare 'worse' than canon compliant fics is damning for a lot of the Kingdon readership.
I maybe understand not being as interested in a specific kind of AU because it's not your type of fiction (historical/sci-fi/fantasy/paranormal etc.) but the way some people have said they outright refuse to read any AU at all when it’s SO broad a label is confusing to me personally I guess.
I'm obviously not saying canon fic should be thrown out of the window (and if that's what you've taken from this I worry for your reading comprehension), I think there's equal value in that too. We should be encouraging and uplifting all corners of the fandom, and I think publicly saying that you’re totally uninterested in a large swath of fic is harmful and not helpful to anyone. I shouldn’t have to feel like I need to literally defend the concept of AU fic! But that is the environment that has been brewing, so. There you go.
listen if the editors and directors and script supervisors can take scripts written by r. scott gemmill and noah wyle (the showrunners and faces of the whole institution) and make tons of edits and cuts between final draft and what ended up on our screens, then i don't think anyone involved in this show is going to take something taylor dearden thinks or says in a youtube interview as the final word of god but that's just me
“mel says lots of nice things about you” hits different when you realize mel had been hearing TONS of gossip about frank at work and refused to participate in any of it for a single second because she reveres him so much. like lmfao becca was really fed up because mel had nobody else to talk to about the kind, gentle, supportive version of her beloved friend that only she remembers!!! her ass was talking becca’s ear off for ten months every day worrying if he’d ever come back or wishing she could tell him about a case and the one day becca comes in she’s like “ohhhhh shit yeah THIS is the guy my sister won’t shut up about. thank god he’s back i see why he made such an impression on her hot damn ok mel” like it’s so perfect
i've been really chewing on the initial version of the final kingdon ambulance scene and i'm so invested (read: annoying) about the use of space in the pitt that it's been impossible to purge from my thoughts because i think the version we got is so beautiful and functions so well (and so much better) outside of how the ambulance is used as a set piece in the pitt
because the show is shot and set almost entirely in the confines of the hospital, the pitt is so very particular about how it uses its space. so when characters are in private spaces and away from the floor of the hospital, there's significance to it.
the ambulance bay is one of the most frequently used 'private spaces' we are privy to. it's a space of vulnerability, it's one of the few places that the characters get to leave the pitt behind somewhat (albeit only a few feet behind them); and still there's different levels to the openness we're afforded. almost everyone gets a moment out there, some far more than others. we see it with mel and frank getting farther and farther from the door and get increasingly more personal in their discussions, we see it in more opinion-based, but still technically professional questions happening right by the doors (like santos asking what they think of al-hashimi), we see it in dana and robby's fight about langdon that hopscotches all over that professional-personal line and in robby and frank's confrontation in the end of s1, where all these characters get a little more themselves by being outside for better or for worse.
which is why the ambulance is so interesting, because it's another layer of personal conversation in an already vulnerable space, but those conversation are always conclusions, it's a space that affords a sense of closure. a neat little bow we don't get anywhere else.
with robby and collins, they enter this bubble to talk about and truly conclude their past together. there's light shed on their relationship and they share quiet reflection, and it comes in the wake of a traumatic day. it's heartfelt and tender, but it is the end of them together. we do get both angles into the ambulance and out of it, which if you want to get into the weeds with me, could signify the working relationship and personal relationship. even in the camera angled out at pittsburgh, they're confined to this box, a story that we understand only existed in a window of time that's come and gone, surrounded by their work, in this state of emergency.
then we get whitaker and ogilvie, which is an interesting choice in contrast to the emotional investment of robby and collins. here we only get the working relationship of these two - only insight into the ambulance - which, of course, they met that day, there's no personal relationship to reflect on. but here, we get whitaker comforting ogilvie. he's lost a patient, has seemingly lost motivation to be in this line of work, and is stuck at the end of his day - whitaker's support is more a closure to the day. he's wrapping up this (perhaps reformed and humbled) gunner's first day, more or less saying what he's been regurgitating for two seasons now that 'you learn to live with it'. it's a grace note on what we get to see of ogilvie in the pitt.
but importantly, both of those conversations are in the wake of emergency. their work affects these characters and the reassurance and personal vulnerability we are audience to helps to soothe that ache of the professional seeping into the personal.
there's consistently this connective tissue to emergency and their work. perhaps that's why the back of an ambulance; the place the emergency and chaos was brought to them, which now sits unoccupied and quiet, not quite ready to move on. perhaps the only reflection that can come about has to be caused by or mirrored in their work. but these conversations end. they provide closure to those issues, they end the conversation, they end the relationship we get to see.
which is exactly why mel and frank couldn't and shouldn't have had their conversation in an ambulance. there's no confinement out in the open like they are, and while emergency looms in the distance (literally), it is not the state in which they are embroiled. there wasn't a particularly personal case to push them outside this time, in fact the case prior to this, for frank at least is triumphant and exciting. they are quite literally only there to talk to each other, free from it being strictly about work.
by letting this conversation be in the open, they escape that finite space and that entrapment in their work when it comes to each other, and it only proves how important they are to each other as people. it's an important change, one that gives the pair flexibility and leeway and mutual understanding in a way that the ambulance doesn't allow.
the cameras - when looking 'out' (up at the fireworks we never actually see) - focus on the space afforded to the pair. there's room to grow, there's unknown (and again we get both the professional and personal sides of the relationship). closure isn't expected of them, this isn't an end by any means, and thematically their story and their relationship continue forward. and yes, their personal conversation is a debrief, but not a conclusion. instead, it's an invitation for the future, quite literally 'can you teach me,' allowing this relationship to continue into the future and that is what ultimately prevents them from being able to have this final moment in an ambulance. and what makes the final version we got so much more powerful and affirming of their relationship.
I finally finished this drawing after weeks of procrastination. I’ve been obsessed with dr.stone for the past month but refused to let myself draw Dcst art until I finished this, but I didn’t wanna work on this so I just drew nothing. Not super happy with it but oh well
All the various parts of the drawing are below the cut
Next drawing is probably gonna be either stanxeno or senku
10h
Unrelated but I’ve been unironically fantasizing about drawing baby stanxeno in a shitty convenience store for the last 3 weeks. So like 40% shot that’s my next drawing
