Miranda | Impatient Girl

i like learning & free food

[miranda-postgrad]

wowwww ok i got a promotion but also i just want to be on PTO forever

[miranda-postgrad]

ghosted by employer

well, i'm essentially ghosted by d****** h*****.

no updates since verbal offer july 18. it's august 25 today.

also no updates on job applications elsewhere. it's so hard to get a job. i just feel like it's a crapshoot.

i feel devalued by my partner who works full time. i just get a lot of dejected sighs from him these days.

[miranda-postgrad]

waiting

waiting for my official written offer letter for a job i got a verbal offer from last friday...

please i just want to lock this in and start working. need to work to make money to feel useful to society to feel okay spending money on myself

[miranda-postgrad]

Favorite TV of 2022

Yumi’s Cells

Atlanta, S4

Insecure, S5 (technically from 2021)

Our Beloved Summer

Flower of Evil

My Name

Little Women

Docs:

Jeanette Lee vs.

Takeout with Lisa Ling

[miranda-postgrad]

My Favorite Albums of 2022

Squeeze by Sasami

Teen Troubles by The Black Skirts

YUMI's Cells Soundtrack (2021-2022) by Various

Laurel Hell by Mitski

Favorite Singles of 2022:

BUGS R US by brian mantra

GRIP by Tei Shi

No One Dies From Love by Tove Lo

Talk by beabadoobee

Albums with songs I liked but I didn't finish listening to the whole album:

Three Dimensions Deep by Amber Mark (Most Men)

BIG WORLD by Mondo Grosso (IN THIS WORLD)

333 (Deluxe) by Tinashe (Naturally)

[miranda-postgrad]

[miranda-postgrad]

Physics Major Essay

(trying to free up google drive space)

Miranda Canilang

Bryn Mawr College 2017

Physics Major

4/10/15

I have always thought very highly of physics. Physicists were the leaders of the world: the inventors, the engineers, the scientific artists. All the “cool kids” studied physics. In high school, I partly felt compelled to choose a science major because I felt that I was not a “humanities person.” Things changed, however, when I entered college. I loved my ESem class on Politics of Development in East Asia and I continued to take more political science classes. I even took a religion class at Haverford. Yet, I continued to take my physics classes because, if there were any overarching themes throughout my humanities classes, it was that innovation was the key to long term growth. Where is, and always has been, the cutting edge of innovation? -- Physics. Granted, an educated citizen should know about global and national current issues and know how to write well, but an educated citizen with a physics background can be at the forefront of a movement.

Books like Physics for Future Presidents, The Physics of Wall Street, and Invention by Design: How Engineers Get from Thought to Thing opened up possibilities of what I could do with physics degree outside of academia and lab work. I, too, want to contribute to these intersections of physics and politics, economy, renewable energy, nuclear war policy, patent law, etc. (I am a strong supporter of a 360 involving these topics if one were ever created…) Over spring break, I participated in the Bryn Mawr Finance Intensive and had the opportunity to talk to Bryn Mawr alums who were physics or math majors but ended up working on Wall Street. For physics majors who can critically and logically think, the opportunities are limitless.

Currently, my calling is in nursing and public health policy, possibly forensic nursing. After a recent winter externship at the NY State AIDS Institute, I decided that nursing was that perfect blend of science, sociology, psychology, and anthropology. How does physics fit into this? I may have not figured this one out yet, but I am keeping my options open at the moment. I would not say that I am the best at physics, but I will push through until the end and never give up.

[miranda-postgrad]

lesson learned: don’t tell ur boss you’re gonna quit too early

my coworker who started at the same time as me got promoted to clin nurse 2 while i didn’t because of a bogus excuse that i have to work at least 6 months past my promotion to merit promoting me to clin nirse 2. that’s bullshit because literally every one gets promoted after 15 months of working. also i’m a stellar nurse.

i told my boss 2 months prior to quitting that i’d quit when i should have given my 2 weeks

[miranda-postgrad]

Lessons from Bedside Nursing

I am so thankful my family is healthy.

People in the hospital are really sick.

Hospitals treat nurses like shit.

Night shift sucks.

I have become biased against obese people.

Re: above, my back's gotta lift that.

I believe in the choice of assisted suicide.

I never want to work in a hospital again.

[miranda-postgrad]

What I think some Asians don’t get about affirmative action

I used to work for a conservative Asian American local politician and helped them set up a platform intended to “empower” Asian Americans and “call out” anti-Asian actions. I am no longer involved with them, but continue to follow their social media postings and public positions. 

I don’t think all of this politician’s stances are wrong -- my agreement with their overall opinions is still net positive. But one disagreement is the hot topic that this politician likes to blast: the “affirmative action hurts Asians” stance. An op-ed was posted today on their Facebook page, and another Asian American organization’s facebook page actually commented on it and called it out for it’s flawed take on critical race theory hurting Asians. 

Affirmative action is so overly simplified and misunderstood by the general public, including those select few Chinese American opposers. 

This article really helped break the arguement down for me:  

https://www.vox.com/2018/3/28/17031460/affirmative-action-asian-discrimination-admissions

The truth is that race plays such a small factor in admissions -- and that factor has been narrowed and constricted sooo much over the years by the Supreme Court. Admissions took the route of race to “create diversity” (1978), but race can only be considered alongside other factors (2003), must to meet certain standards within this “holistic review” (2013), and only as a factor of a factor of a factor (2016) (what does that even mean). 

Keeping in mind that these standards of what can be considered to “play the race card” were devised by people in power (i.e. predominantly rich White people), a person of color who literally just studies hard and believes in meritocracy really would not get in anywhere. There are tons of Asian parents who tell their kids that if they study hard/work hard, they can get anywhere. Well if you really want to play up your racial identity for your application, that has to show in ways not reflected in just test scores or grades. I think this can be shown in the essay part through writing on your family and different cultural upbringing, or through your extracurriculars rooted in your racial identity. The Vox article uses an example below:

“Let’s say a school is looking for strong leadership qualities, and an applicant lists leadership experience that is grounded in their racial identity. Only then can a school consider their race.“

To play the admissions game, why should admissions consider your race as a factor in your admissions application if you don’t show it to them? (“Show” = a specific way outlined by law.) If race isn’t a big part of your identity or consciousness as a person of color, are you even a person of color to the admissions people? Probably not. 

Big tangent here, but if you want children of color to really understand and meaningfully reflect on their own racial identity early on, you MUST, MUST, MUST include their history in K-12 curriculums. Hello, Asian American studies, civil rights movement history, all other non-Eurocentric history, etc...

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Looking back at my high school years, I remember when I really wanted to participate in my high school’s Asian Fest (this student-run performance where Asian students perform cultural dances and skits to showcase to the rest of the school). My mom thought it was a big waste of time and would probably prefer I study or something. I didn’t even participate in any of the Chinese or Filipino performances (my K-pop phase was strong in high school, so I danced in the K-Pop performance, the Korean fan dance, and the taekwondo skit), but I’m guessing my participation in Asian Fest helped show to admissions people that I was in fact, Asian and could add to their school “diversity.” 

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Reading up on the debate of affirmative action within prestigious public high schools like Thomas Jefferson High School and Technology in Fairfax, Virginia and Stuyvesant in NYC, honestly the student and parent community seems so toxic and unwelcoming that they really could use a rehaul of their admissions system. I didn’t go to my county’s magnet high school and was spared that kind of environment. I need to read up more on why these parents are trying to play the race card when their socioeconomic status and position in society guarantees that their children will be just fine in the end...

[miranda-postgrad]

Ethics of Caring®

Annual Collaborative Ethics Conference

I’m really interested in the topics of this nursing conference, but it happens to fall on one of my rare 4-day breaks from work. Might still consider attending though, how else am I supposed to advance my career?

On another note, this desire to separate myself completely from work on my off-days stems from not having any time to do anything else on my work days. My schedule changes from week to week so it’s not like I can attend a weekly dance class or get home from work, cook dinner, and enjoy the rest of the night out. 

Off-days from work are deliberately planned to not think about work at all. It’s also why I find it hard to drag my ass out volunteering on my off-days. Is it that selfish to just want to frolic in the spring air, go on dates with my boyfriend, and hang out? I’m really just better off donating hard cash to nonprofits and organizations I care about. 

[miranda-postgrad]

I’m a nurse and I actually work

Every time I call my mom, she nags me to volunteer for the COVID test sites/vaccination sites. I don’t think she understands how taxing it is to work a full time job IN PERSON as a nurse (nightshift). After my shifts, I sleep til at least 2pm and only force myself to wake up to see some day light, only to get sleepy again at 9pm later that day. My body’s so used to working 12-hour shifts (really 14 hours if you include commute) that also on my days off, I find myself tired after 12 hours awake. 

Believe me, I, too, would be volunteering for public health causes and championing social justice issues like back when I was in college -- or if I worked a cushy 9-5 desk job from the comforts of my home (which appear to be a lot less than 9-5 as observed by my mom and sister’s schedules and pretty much everyone else around me working from home). My mom praises my sister for scheduling COVID vaccination appointments for strangers online -- she also has time to dog sit on the side for extra $$. I barely have time to practice any of my hobbies. Basically, being a bedside nurse in the inpatient hospital setting has made me a boring person who lives for the capitalist wheel of work, sleep, eat, make money (but no bonus) but have no time to do anything with money or take vacation whenever I want to. 

I think I’d be able to be more civically engaged if I worked maybe 3 8-hour shifts a week, or just 2 12-hour shifts a week. Or of course the strict 9-5 per week. And this is yet another reason why I’m going back to school to be a nurse practitioner and switching to primary care. 

[miranda-postgrad]

Philippine Independence, June 12

The Philippines 🇵🇭  and the U.S. 🇺🇸 have a complicated history. Upon U.S. victory in the Spanish-American War in 1898, the U.S. bought The Philippines for $20 million dollars, approximately $545 million dollars today. The Philippines was a Spanish colony from 1565-1898, U.S.'s colony 1898-1946, and occupied by Japan 1941-1945. 

The U.S. maintained colonial rule over the Philippines through a number of tactics. Promised benefits and U.S. citizenship, some Filipinos joined the Philippine Scouts (a branch of the U.S. military) to suppress anti-U.S. uprisings from Filipino nativists (Moro Rebellion). Filipinos alongside Filipino Americans also served in the U.S. military during WWII against Japanese occupation. Americans also pushed the Manifest Destiny ideology of "saving their Little Brown Brothers" from "inferior and barbaric" civilization. To maintain economic and political rule, the U.S. removed trade tariffs of American imports into the Philippines, forced the Philippines to grant equal rights to U.S. citizens in the Philippines, and strategically backed politicians to serve American interests.

In 1933, the Hare–Hawes–Cutting Act proposed by Congress outlined independence for The Philippines. It was vetoed by Hoover but overrode by Congress. The Philippine Senate initially rejected it because it allowed indefinite presence of U.S. military bases (despite it all, those bases are still there).

In 1934, the Hare-Hawes-Cutting Act was minorly revised into the Tydings-McDuffie Act signed by FDR and approved by the Philippine Senate. Independence would be granted after a 10-year transition period. The Act was signed, in part, to reclassify Filipinos as aliens and establish an immigration quota of 50/yr. It also restricted free entry of Filipino exports such as sugar, coconut oil, and rope into the U.S. market -- a move that many U.S. nationalists called for due to economic hardship during the Great Depression and heightened xenophobia sentiments. WWII pushed back that independence from 1944 to 1946. 

[mir88cee]

Unreleased Statements (My Employer is a Moderate)

So I end up writing a bunch of more liberal minded viewpoints that obviously reflect my personal politics and obviously don’t get released by my employer:

Solidarity with the BLM Movement

Writeup on the L.A. Riots

Significance of APAHM

Anti-Asian Violence

How do I push my different minded employer to be more progressive?

How do I frame it so that the absence of releasing such statements backed by tangible reform actions hurts the employer in the public eye?

[miranda-postgrad]

(Unreleased) WRITEUP ON L.A. RIOTS

When the [organization I work for] developed the content for our recent virtual engagement with [politician I work for] on [Asian American history], we debated placing the L.A. Riots slide in the Present Day section or the 1980-2000s section. Although the L.A. Riots took place April 29 - May 3, 1992, issues of racial tensions, police brutality disproportionately against Black and Brown people, and racially charged violence toward communities of color are still just as relevant and unaddressed today as they were ever.

The L.A. Riots of 1992 were 6 days of burning and looting businesses and violence ignited by the acquittal of all 4 police officers who arrested and violently beat Rodney King, a Black man who was wrongly accused of driving under the influence of PCP drugs. It was also spurred by the killing of Latasha Harlins, a Black teenager, by Korean grocer Soon Ja Du who wrongly accused her for stealing a bottle of orange juice. Du was convicted of manslaughter, sentenced 5 years probation & 400 hours of community service. The 4 police officers, Sgt. Stacey C. Koon and Officers Laurence M. Powell, Theodore J. Briseno and Timothy E. Wind, were later indicted with federal charges for violating King’s civil rights (14th Amendment) and fired from the LAPD. Koon and Powell served 30 months in prison. The other two officers, Briseno and Wind, were acquitted again. 

South Central L.A. suffered years of racial and economic inequality, gang activity, drug epidemic, unemployment, violent crime. Racial tensions between Koreans and Blacks were due in part to a false myth that Korean businesses in Black neighborhoods exploited Blacks and stole business opportunities. As a result, multiple incidents resulted in Korean grocers shooting Black customers and Black robbers shooting Korean grocers. This led to the looting and destruction of over 2,200 Korean owned businesses in the L.A. Riots. 

The LAPD officers did not contain riots immediately. They did not respond to 911 calls and reports of looting and violence until 3 hours after riots broke out. Mayor Tom Bradley called a state of emergency, and Governor Pete Wilson ordered 2,000 National Guard troops to the city and requested that President George H.W. Bush invoke the Insurrection Act to activate U.S. Marines troops. Furthermore, the LAPD had barricaded off riot areas from escape routes to contain the riots and damage instead of protecting people. Having felt betrayed and abandoned by law enforcement, a few Korean business owners took it upon themselves to protect themselves and their businesses using their guns. 

By the time riots ended, 63 people were killed, 2,383 people injured, more than 12,000 were arrested, and the $1 billion estimated property damage overwhelmingly affected Koreatown. No government aid was given to Koreatown after the displacement and destruction of businesses, and many ended up closing their businesses and moving. A Peace March on May 1, 1992 around Koreatown called for peace and justice. Following the riots, many Korean Americans began to realize that they were united with the Black and Brown community against police brutality and discrimination. They were newly empowered to become more politically involved.

LAPD took steps to reform their actions after a report found that cultures of excessive force and cultural bias pervaded the LAPD. Chief of Police Daryl Gates later resigned due to the LAPD’s late response and mishandling of the situation. 

There is still much more work to be done, and as allies in the fight to challenge injustice, we must continuously hold leaders, including the police, accountable for their actions. The AAPI community cannot fully thrive if the Black community and any other marginalized community continue to suffer racial and discriminatory injustices.

[miranda-postgrad]

(Unreleased) STATEMENT ON APAHM SIGNIFICANCE

The significance of Asian Pacific American Heritage Month (APAHM) is understated at best. By the time APAHM was nationally recognized in 1990 (since 1977, it was recognized for 10 days in May), over 400 years had passed since Asians first stepped foot on the American continent. The historical past of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders (AAPI) is not one without controversy. It is one marked with bloodshed, legalized discrimination, and racialized economic suppression at the hands of many White Americans. There is no doubt that the consequences of policies -- even suspended policies -- and harmful Anti-Asian societal constructs continue to negatively impact this community’s growth across generations. Even in dark times, leaders emerged from the AAPI community to fight for justice at home, abroad, and alongside other marginalized communities of color. Perhaps this is why AAPI history and AAPI accomplishments were erased from US textbooks or why assimilation was enforced over diversity. 

While dedicating one month out of the year to Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders is a step toward righting the wrongs, AAPIs demand much more progress. Formal apologies from the US federal government regarding the illegal incarceration of 120,000 Japanese Americans and the Chinese Exclusion Act (one among many Asian exclusion immigration acts) only chip at the mountain of necessary reparations. 

APAHM is not all about celebration; it is about the radical acceptance of one’s heritage and culture. It is about confronting the past to inform and shape the present and future.

[miranda-postgrad]

(Unreleased) STATEMENT ON ANTI-ASIAN VIOLENCE

For many AAPIs, anti-Asian violence all too often stems from ‘perpetual foreigner’ accusations. These include the “you don’t belong here” and “you don’t contribute or assimilate to mainstream society” type of statements that leave many Asian American Pacific Islanders (AAPI) questioning their identity, freedom, and civil rights. These aggressions have escalated dramatically during the current COVID pandemic in combination with Trump’s remarks, and it’s important to understand that anti-Asian discrimination is far from new. History has conditioned AAPI victims, along with other communities of color, to doubt the supposedly equal protection of U.S. law enforcement and judicial systems. 

Anti-Asian violence and discrimination started as soon as Asians immigrated to the U.S. (Do not forget that how Americans disrespect international Asians abroad is reflective of how they treat Asians at home.) Whenever AAPIs were murdered or massacred, any and all criminal charges somehow were overturned or much lighter sentences were given. This was the case for the 1871 Los Angeles Massacre, the 1880 Denver Anti-Chinese Riot, 1885 Rock Springs Massacre, 1887 Snake River Massacre, 1982 murder of Vincent Chin, and countless others forgotten from history. Asian Americans have also been killed by the police: Kuanchang Kao, a Chinese American fatally shot in 1997 by police over his perceived “martial arts'' threat; Cau Bich Tran, a Vietnamese American fatally shot in 2003 by police after holding a vegetable peeler mistaken for a cleaver; Fong Lee, a Hmong American fatally shot in 2006 by police who believed he was carrying a gun. Those modern day cases resulted in no criminal charges filed against the police and no public outcry that memorialized the victims into a public campaign to seek justice.  

Why the above stories remain largely untold and mistold is a mystery rooted in the model minority myth and discriminatory erasure of the achievements and struggles of non-White people. We need to call in others to teach that regardless of how you immigrated here and which identities you claim or abandon, your existence is still radically judged and at risk. We need to relearn our past in order to fight discriminatory violence today. 

***We need to contextualize anti-Asian violence within the greater discriminatory violence against other marginalized communities -- particularly the disproportionate murdering of Black people. That is to say, one cannot stand up against the discrimination of Asians only without standing up against the discrimination of other people of color and marginalized identities -- and vice versa.***