That one particular anon who's obsessed with you fascinates me because of how strange they sound and how unwilling they are to listen to what people are saying (which is definitely not about wanting fix-its, but about many very obvious issues such as writing in the stereotypes about Asians, the fetishism of all of it, the covering up the silent hurts of a (concerned and communicative) domestic partner under the label that 'oh but he's depressed' and labeling that partner as 'selfish, bitchy, nagging' when in fact his concerns are valid, communicated well, and received poorly and responded terribly with no actual explanation at all by his boyfriend.
The fetishism is the worst for me, of course. I'm from East Asia as well, and even though I'm short many of my irls are over 6ft. And trust me, having body hair is common. I watched the show first so I didn't know that Shane had been portrayed with the stereotypical Asian features of hairless, short and beautiful. I was so frustrated that not many saw that (and that one disgusting scale I won't speak of) as something disturbing. Fabian's depiction felt off to me too but I haven't reread it in a while so I won't say anything on that.
And people do see Ilya is highly impacted by his mother's depression and her subsequent suicide, but still refuse to see how the same thing (maybe to a lesser degree since they live apart) is happening to Shane. They like to say Shane doesn't care about Ilya's mental health when he was in fact the one to suggest seeing someone.
Shane not wanting Troy to learn about them is a valid concern to me. He has not known Troy on the level the Centaurs know him; to him he was the best friend of known racist homophobic bigot.
Let's see a real world example. Imagine you are an immigrant worker, living and working in US. Your white American partner has a colleague who was famously best friends with an aggressive ICE agent. You would be reluctant to trust that person with your immigrant status. (Maybe this is too harsh of an example. But you know the gist.)
He couldn't have known that Troy, whom he knew as homophobic, and Ilya are friends now. Ilya shutting him down that way was very strange; even if they were in a tense moment, he should have reassured him. And even then, the decision has to be mutually agreed upon.
I do have issues about how the happy ending is just one partner in a marriage having everything he wanted, and the other being humiliated in front of everyone and losing his position he worked hard for.
But I have always had a distaste for Hallmark endings of a successful corporate lady returning home to live as a stat at home housewife, mother of three, of her childhood sweetheart, so I couldn't judge it fairly. To each their own, of course. I wouldn't want to trust someone to that point; people are unpredictable and they can hurt you the most even when they mean well. You need a way out no matter what.
Tl;dr: we don't want fix-its. (Really, I'd rather have a bittersweet ending here.) We just don't want fetishism and ignoring that Shane did communicate about Ilya's mental health. And victims of racism have their right to not trust someone with ties to a racist. :)
Agree with everything here.
I think that anon is just getting weird, and I kinda feel (almost?) slightly better now that it seems like one person has sent multiple of those Asks. There’s only so much I can say to somebody who doesn’t really want an answer.
I agree with the fetishization. I watched the show too, so in a way the physical description seemed jarring but something I’ve been able to almost ignore because I just push it aside and imagine the actor instead. But yes, it’s there and everyone is justified in feeling uncomfortable with it.
The ending did end up looking a bit of the hallmark “happy ending”. Again, I’ve talked about it before. It just comes down to personal values. Some people think it’s fine for somebody ambitious and accomplished to suddenly lose that ambition and be happy with having a man. That’s fine, but other people 1) have fundamental issues with that message and 2) find that mental transformation hollow and out of character for Shane. This is an elite athlete who’s dedicated his whole life to his sport, and the things he cares about are the same things Ilya (and every other athlete in his position) cares about professionally. A lot of it gets ripped away from him but he’s not allowed a human reaction or empathy from other characters. This sort of magical “happiness” just happens to him in an almost stepford wives fashion. His habits, professional aspirations and emotions rapidly lines up with what brings maximum happiness to his partner. And it’s OK for people to make adjustments to meet their partners half way. The problem here is that Shane is not meeting Ilya half way. Ilya pretty much doesn’t budge at all or even acknowledge what Shane has gone through. Even in early TLG, where Ilya supposedly made this move for their relationship (if we just accept the retcon) and Shane is considered neglectful and unappreciative, Shane is still putting in work by making long drives, working on the foundation dedicated to ILYA’s mother, checking in with Ilya and suggesting therapy for him. In the end, Shane reflects on his shortcomings and makes changes. Ilya doesn’t do any of that, and that’s what makes the relationship look unhealthy at the end. This is an even worse look when Shane is a POC character and also described as a stereotypical and fetishized “bottom” within the relationship.
What a lot of us are saying is basically that TLG doesn’t seem like a happy ending. In some ways, Ilya and Shane are in a better place because they’re together, no longer hiding (via a traumatic outing) and in a more accepting workplace (in terms of sexuality but not necessarily race). In other ways, they’re worse off because their relationship is unhealthy, Shane’s trauma goes unprocessed, Ilya’s brush with emotional/physical abuse goes unaddressed, and Ilya overall seems like a more callous and unsupportive partner than how he started (including his approach to Shane’s reactions to Troy). We love these characters and we want them to be treated like human beings (both within their universe and by readers) and end up in a better place. Like most of the fix-its were recommending have Ilya reflect and learn to be an empathetic partner and break out of his previous self victimizating thought pattern (also helpful step in managing depression). That obviously comes from a place of love.
