Misadventures of Riss

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[misadventuresofriss]

I hate how I feel about myself but I don’t know how to change my feelings.

I feel like people say nice things to me out of pity and I find myself resenting them for what I perceive to be lies as I don’t know what to believe. 

I’ve been teased and been called ugly my entire life. I’m trying my best to not hate the fact that I’m unattractive but I can’t work through it. It’s not my appearance itself as much as it is how it affects my day to day interactions. 

I’m sad that I have literally nothing of value to offer. If not pretty, most people are at least smart or funny or have some other positive trait but I can’t think of anything. 

I wake up every morning miserable because I remember that I’m me. I avoid mirrors. I try to keep to myself and just be a productive employee. I don’t know how else to live my life. 

I hate that my friends try to make me feel guilty for not wanting to go places but no one wants to be the inferior person in a group. They’d never understand. 

I try so hard to be normal but I keep failing. I don’t know how to feel good inside and people always offer up “be positive” as a solution. How? If it were that easy don’t you think I would have just done it by now?

I know people talk about me to each other. I’m the butt of jokes and that’s why they keep me around. Some twisted mix of pity and amusement. But it’s not normal to not talk to people so I have to stick around. 

Why am I me?

[jehovahhthickness]

It’s wild how people disrespect the shit out of you if they don’t find you attractive.

[dandelionkicker]

Man

[42t4y2]

We don’t talk enough about how not being attractive makes life so much more difficult. And I don’t even mean romantically or sexually, but rather life in general and especially socially. A lot of people won’t even give you the time of day unless you’re sufficiently attractive or fashionable.

[kimreesesdaughter]

Pretty privilege is real!!!

[misadventuresofriss]

This is an "in my feelings" mad at society rant so it would probably be best for 99.2% of you to scroll on to a cute puppy video. I'm 31 years old. I've always been very slow to anger. I try to remain rational, calm, and level-headed about almost everything. Why? Because I was raised to believe that kindness should be rewarded and that you catch more flies with honey. Another reason, I realize that being Black in America- if you ever get mad then you're perceived as a threat. You're hostile. You're an "Angry Black Woman." You're irrational. You're someone who cannot be reasoned nor worked with. So. When dealing with businesses who aren't coming up to standard, I remain polite. I keep a lid on my frustration. Because the same anger I've watched time and time again work for my White friends will completely backfire on me. It'll make me seem desperate and hysterical. How come my being nice is always to my detriment and results in me being tied to railroad tracks? Am I wrong for feeling disrespected? When a company that has given me the runaround for weeks but once someone else calls and leaves an angry message, they receive resolution in less than an hour, is that the mark of a shitty company or is it par for the course. I already know what my history and my experiences have taught me so that's a rhetorical question. When is a Black person allowed to be angry beyond their own head and in their home?

[misadventuresofriss]

I can't wait until next February when election/inauguration is over.

My friend got mad at me for saying Trump supporters and Sanders supporters are the same side of a different coin but… Trump supporters want to call everyone thugs or losers or idiots and get violent with protesters. They’re hateful and I maintain you have to be an undercover racist to believe in his message. Sanders supporters spam you with hashtags and if you think he’s anything less than perfect, they want to be condescending and call you a sheep or say you’re uninformed. They’re relentless and the “Bernie Bros” don’t even know what misogyny is nor understand the fact that they’re showing it. Fact is: for the first time in my adult life, I plan to vote for no one and it makes me sad that I don’t feel comfortable supporting any candidate. Just calling it as I see it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[misadventuresofriss]

20 views better, and I'm still obsessed.

[misadventuresintindertown]

Oh, hi. Okay then. 😳

[misadventuresofriss]

#Groceries

[misadventuresofriss]

When you need your nails done and your cousin is @qualiadnails. 🙌🏾 #Nails #CoffinNails #ThanksFam #iCantType #Repost @qualiadnails ・・・ @misadventuresofriss (at Star status/ crystalz nailz)

[misadventuresofriss]

The most interesting buzz and bestStudent Says He “Doesn’t Look Like A Rapist" And Doesn't Need Sexual Consent Class links

We teach girls not to take drinks from someone new, not to wear short skirts, not to go out past a certain time at night, not to go out on a date with a new guy without letting at least one person know where you are, not to smile too much, not to go on a date unless you are willing to sleep with a man because you're giving mixed signals, not to go anywhere except class and the grocery store alone- if it's the middle of the day anyway. But this class on consent? Offensive! Unnecessary!

Here's the thing, dude: you can't spend decades telling women they're being raped because of their actions and because men "can't control" themselves if they see some shoulder or leg, but then say "Nah. I don't look like a rapist so I don't need to learn about consent."

[misadventuresofriss]

😂😂😂😂😂 "#Bolt #cameraman #accident"

[kdyree-blog]

[R. Kelly] raped a child on camera and was acquitted, and you are making a joke about this nigga pissing on Blue Ivy Carter. And everybody involved thought that this was totally motherfucking fine. Do you really think Amy Poehler would have seen a script that said, ‘Oh, I can’t wait till Violet Affleck is old enough for Bill Cosby to drug her’–like that’s some great thing? Of course not. She would never have said that because, first of all, Violet Affleck and every other little White girl is afforded a level of protection and consideration that Black girls are not.

Crissle West, The Read Podcast, 08.20.2015, “Difficult Dumbasses” (via kdyree)

[misadventuresofriss]

(via Amazon.com: E. M. Foner (SciFi Writer)'s review of Amazon Echo)

This is a fantastic review. I laughed. HARD.

[misadventuresintindertown]

Decided to try out this new dating app called The Grade. They claim to have no creeps but I doubt it. Should be interesting…I think.

[misadventuresofriss]

Retirement of an Angry Black Feminist

At the ripe old age of 29, I'm hanging up my "Angry Black Feminist" suit. I'm tired.  Caring about the world is exhausting because the world is too damn large for only 2% of people to care what happens to the citizens of it. The two percent is tired and we should be. I'm learning (finally) to not engage in debate that is going nowhere. Some people don't see logic the way I do. Some people NEED to be a dissenting opinion in hopes of believing they're smarter than the rest of us.  I'm not even gonna bother anymore. Race relations are exhausting. Particularly with the "I have Black friends" and/or "I only date Black women and my child(ren) aren't all White" set because they feel that qualifies them to speak on Black existence and to say why Black people are wrong about everything.  So. I'm just posting funny cute memes and videos on social media from now on. Being an Angry Black Feminist is too exhausting and a full-time job. With race relations and racial tensions in America devolving to 1950s era levels, being Black is enough to make you nervous. Growing up in the hood or suburbs, there's not much difference anymore. We are all at risk. And when it comes to police brutality: it's not just minorities! (Some) White people are at risk too but the thing is- they don't see it and since they don't see it, they don't care and don't see the big deal.  I'm not a big voice. I'm just a simple college dropout in Columbus who likes to know what's happening in her world. When I see wrong, I want to understand why. I want to explain to other people why something should infuriate them- or AT LEAST provoke a thought. But generally, people only care about what directly affects them. Until you have a Black brother who likes to hang around small, racially singular towns with his White girlfriend, you can't speak to my specific fear. Just as I can't speak to the fear of a transperson in small backwoods towns at night. I can understand that they too have a fear but I don't experience it in the same way.  As of late, engaging in conversation about what's happening is just loud voices screaming why they're right. No trying to keep an open mind. No realizing you don't have the answers. Only claims of "THIS IS WHAT IT WAS!" I want other opinions but dammit they need to be logical. If a counter to my (in my belief logical) opinion is "Those are lies." or "The writer made that up to make White people look bad," I realize that the conversation is a lost cause. If I can bring statistics and documentation, I deserve better than paranoid claims of lies.  Social media is making me dislike people I once thought were rational human beings. This isn't fair to me because I'm a social person. I want to like people. Now, I'm realizing that so people are so caught up in being a dissenting opinion or being "smarter" than everyone else in the room, that it's making me uncomfortable in their lack of logic and compassion. All of the intelligence in the world means nothing if you don't use it rationally, logically, and humanely.  Once a conversation devolves to the point that name calling happens or I find myself wanting to say "You are incapable of logical, rational thought. How have you not died at the hands of your own stupidity?" I realize it needs to end. That's happening more frequently and that's not okay.  And Feminism? A whole other issue that even now I can't stop to think about. Women also are told daily to stop complaining. Sure, we can work where we want, have kids, do whatever but tiny microaggressions hit daily. Claims that any woman who says she was sexually assaulted brought it on herself. Or simply calling women bitches and sluts because they have an opinion that doesn't match yours. Worse: a woman being called names because she was uninterested in a man. But. Feminism is unnecessary. It's not okay that I have to be enraged weekly now. There are no breaks in between frustrations. It's DAILY and it's scary, and it's sad, and emotionally draining.  How am I supposed to take care of myself if I'm so wrapped up in trying to enlighten and keep up with the Disaster of the Day ™?  I can't. At least not yet. I haven't learned to. 

[misadventuresintindertown]

Facts.

[misadventuresofriss]

I see no lies.

[misadventuresofriss]

Hey, if you have a second, please take this 15 second (I timed it) survey to help a student with a project. Non-invasive I assure you.

[amart]

Hot to trot: How Ginuwine's 'Pony' became a throbbing, thrilling, bump 'n' grind anthem

There are slow jams, there are slooow jams, and there are jams so slow that, much like the God Particle, their sexiness cannot be measured by conventional science.

Finally I’m an authority on something.

[misadventuresofriss]

My current #mood. #EyeRoll